CHAPTER FIFTEEN #2
“I’ve seen pictures. Her body’s unreal, too, man.” He leaned back in his chair, perfectly casual as if I wouldn’t care about what he was saying. “That ass and those tits? I don’t know why you’d look at Madison twice.”
“Could you not fucking talk about my wife’s body?” I bit out angrily.
“Whoa,” he held up his hands, chuckling. “I didn’t know it was a sore subject. I was going to ask for her number once the divorce is final. You have a lawyer yet?”
“I haven’t decided on a divorce,” I protested. The thought of him coming anywhere near Carrie was making me see red. I’d forgotten what a total asshole Ethan was.
“Why? Is it because Madison is such an awful lay?”
My mouth dropped open. “How did you know Mads is a bad lay?”
He laughed. “Everyone knows that. God, don’t even get me started on how she gives head.
For your sake, I hope she’s gotten a hell of a lot better at it than she used to be.
” he picked up his phone again to text someone.
“I mean, I let her suck me off because, damn, I was a guy in my late teens and early twenties. But as soon as I got better at flirting and closing the deal with women, I quit her like that.” He snapped his fingers.
I got very quiet.
I’d thought Madison and I were each other’s only sexual partner until she ditched me before our wedding. I’d stayed celibate for a while after that until I’d started fucking every girl I went on a date with for about a year. I’d wanted it to help me get over Mads.
I hadn’t been a total asshole about it. I knew who I was and the pull my last name had.
I made damn sure they knew exactly what I was looking for before I went out with any of them.
Being a billionaire in my twenties was like catnip for a lot of women.
I was also widely considered to be really good-looking.
All of the Caldwell kids were. It’s what happened when generations of rich men could pick the most beautiful woman available to marry and have kids with.
Each generation of the Caldwell family tree got better and better looking.
Hell, Olive had been told by more than one photographer that if she didn’t have a terrible case of resting bitch face, she’d be a supermodel.
Eventually, though, it had gotten old being with so many different women. I’d started to feel like my apartment had a revolving door. When I started to forget the women’s names I was with, I knew it had gone too far. I didn’t want to be that guy.
Then I’d met Carrie. I’d recognized immediately that she wasn’t the kind of girl you fuck and forget. It wasn’t until I was sure I wanted a relationship that I pursued her, and I hadn’t wanted to be with anyone since.
Until Mads came back.
So… what the hell was Ethan talking about?
Ethan finally realized I was put off by what he’d said. He laid down his phone and quit texting. He looked at me warily. “Thatch, you knew Madison fucked all of us during college. Right?”
“No.” I felt sick. I couldn’t even say anything else.
I couldn’t look at him. I stared out the window at the people moving in herds to their various office buildings.
People were always coming and going in downtown Atlanta.
There wasn’t a slow time, really. Traffic was so bad that people’s arrival and departure times were spaced out to try and decrease the number of cars on the interstates at any given time of the day.
I knew it was necessary, but it also just made it seem like rush hour lasted all day and night.
For once, Ethan seemed upset. His face had lost some of its color, and he could barely look at me. “She told everyone the two of you were in an open relationship.”
There are times in your life you can look back on and remember where you were and what you were doing.
Times when something happened to you that was so emotional, it became a core memory.
I knew this was going to be one of those times.
A long-held assumption that was solid and truthful had just crumbled.
It felt like when I found out Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny weren’t real.
Madison Welles hadn’t been faithful to me. Not even close.
I swallowed hard and finally looked him in the eye. “You slept with her.” It wasn’t a question but a statement of fact I was trying to wrap my head around.
He nodded, looking as ill as I felt. “Man, I swear… I thought you knew.”
“No.” I let my coffee go cold as we sat there saying nothing. “I didn’t know,” I said finally. “At the time—back in high school and college—I thought she would be the only woman I ever slept with,” I admitted.
He let out a breath he’d been holding. “Jesus. I can’t tell you how sorry I am. I wouldn’t have touched her if I’d known. I hope you believe me…”
I held up my hand. “I believe you.” I thought back to college days and remembered how Elle, Ingrid, and some of our other female friends had hit on me.
I’d just thought they were shitty friends to Madison.
Maybe they were. But maybe they just thought I was in an open relationship and wondered why the hell I wouldn’t fuck them.
I stood up. “I think I need to go.”
He looked guilty as hell. “Maybe we can do this again sometime?” His voice was hopeful.
I looked at him. “I… doubt it.” I never wanted to see any of my college friends again. It wasn’t their fault, necessarily, but shouldn’t they have at least made sure it was okay with me before sleeping with Mads?
He nodded, wincing. “I understand.”
I started to leave but then stopped. “She was bad at sex then, too?”
He looked afraid to talk to me about it. I didn’t blame him.
“Yeah,” he finally said.
“Why did I think the sex was amazing?”
“I’m no expert, but I’d say it was probably because it was all you knew. At our age back then, good sex was fucking mind blowing, but even bad sex seemed good. Because it was sex.”
That made sense.
I didn’t say goodbye. I just left and walked back to my office in a daze. Once I got there, I sat at my desk and stared into space.
Everything had turned into a nightmare since I’d almost slept with Madison. To find out in quick succession afterwards that she’d taken advantage of me by misusing the credit card I’d given her and been completely unfaithful to me in college was devastating.
I thought about all the red flags I’d been ignoring when it came to her.
She had wanted me to sleep with her without wearing a condom.
She’d treated waitstaff like crap. I couldn’t quit thinking about the way she’d treated the waitress over wanting to be served champagne ‘right then.’ She’d fit in with our old college friends perfectly while I couldn’t believe I’d ever hung out with them.
They’d all seemed self-important and douchey.
I’d heard from multiple people that her behavior with the director and other professionals she was supposed to work with on the campaign had been abysmal.
I hadn’t wanted to believe it at the time, but I realized I’d buried my head in the sand.
It had reminded me of things I hadn’t wanted to remember.
Namely, that she had a very entitled, princessy attitude almost all the time.
I recalled Lisa pulling me aside and saying none of the staff wanted to work with her. She’d said they called her a nightmare.
I’d blown it off at the time, thinking it was probably just women who were jealous of her beauty. But now I was thinking that wasn’t it at all.
I wanted to have children someday. I almost started hyperventilating when I thought of her as a mom.
I would be shocked if she managed to be a good mom.
I could absolutely imagine her as one of those Instagram moms who told their kids they were going swimming, got them all packed up and out of the house, spent an hour getting the best photos of them, and then packed them right back up without letting them have any fun and then turned them back over to a nanny.
And now? Now I knew that she’d cheated on me a lot and misused the card I’d given her in good faith.
Reality had crashed through my idealized picture of her.
Had it been like this all those years ago, but I just hadn’t known any better?
She’d been my first girlfriend, my first kiss, my first sexual encounter.
Now I knew they were only glorious memories because I’d had nothing else to compare them to.
Fuck.
Sweat started to run down my forehead. What had I done? Had I blown up a good, strong marriage for memories of a woman who’d only ever existed in my brain?
And what about the biggest red flag of all?
She had dumped me three weeks before our wedding, leaving me to handle all of the embarrassing questions, venue and vendor cancellations, gift returns—everything. And she’d done it without saying she was sorry. Who does that?
Now I wondered what the truth was. Had I ever even known the real Madison?
The truth was that I couldn’t have. The Madison I thought I knew and loved would never have lied to me, taken advantage of me, or been unfaithful to me.
She wouldn’t have broken my heart three weeks before our wedding.
Yes, she’d always had a bit of a diva-like personality.
But I didn’t remember her being as bad as this.
But maybe that was only because she hadn’t wanted me to see who she really was.
I took a deep breath and slowly let it out.