CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Thatcher
I was in a meeting when Lisa opened the door and came over to me. I was instantly on high alert. She knew to get me if anything happened with Carrie.
She leaned down. “It’s time,” she said.
“Time,” I repeated, like a dumbass. “Time?” I stared at her. “Are you serious?”
Lisa nodded, smiling.
I stood up, almost knocking Lisa down in my haste.
I had to reach out and grab her to steady her.
“Sorry,” I said, but she just laughed. I turned to the group assembled in the board room.
“Ladies and gentlemen, I apologize, but my wife is about to have our baby.” They all clapped and made exclamations of excitement.
“Ex-wife,” Bryce reminded me, falling in step with me.
“Same thing,” I said.
Celia made a face. “I’m pretty sure the distinction matters.”
“Let’s go,” I started jogging down the hall to the elevators, my excitement too much to contain.
The three of us rode to Indigo Falls together.
Celia called Mom to inform her and asked her secretary to tell Olive, who worked on a different floor of the building.
The boundaries between us were firm as concrete at this point.
They both knew that I partially blamed them for the dissolution of my marriage.
I knew I was mostly to blame, of course, but their meddling hadn’t helped.
And even though Olive was putting forth an effort to show that she had changed, I still had a hard time being around her for very long at all.
We stopped by my house and dropped off Bryce and Celia’s bags. They’d be staying with me until the baby was born, and maybe a few days afterwards. Then we headed to the hospital. I was so excited and nervous I could barely sit still.
When I arrived, I asked to see Carrie while Bryce and Celia were shown to a waiting room.
I glanced in and saw most of Carrie’s friends and family waiting in there.
I felt the dirty looks directed at me, but I’d long since grown a thick enough skin for that to bounce right off me.
The only person I didn’t see was Blair, so I assumed that’s who was in the room with her.
I peeked in the room before doing anything else. Carrie already looked tired. I knocked on the door lightly. Blair turned to look, gave me a tight smile, and ushered me in the room.
“Hey,” I said, walking over to Carrie. “How are you doing?”
“This might come as a shock to you,” she said drily, “but this really hurts.”
I grimaced. I could barely comprehend how something that big was going to come out of her. She was so small. It seemed impossible. “How fast are the contractions coming?”
“They’re coming pretty fast, but the doctors don’t think she’s progressing fast enough,” a nurse said.
“What does that mean?” I whispered to Blair while Carrie closed her eyes and didn’t appear to be listening.
“She’s made almost zero progress even though the contractions are coming steadily.” Blair looked at me. “That’s not normal. It puts stress on the baby and makes things difficult for the mom.”
“Well, that sounds terrible.”
“It’s not terrible. It’s just… a little unusual. But the doctor said she’s seen a woman go from not progressing to fully dilated very quickly. That’s what we’re hoping for.”
I frowned, worried about both Carrie and the baby. “Is there anything I can do?”
“Not really. If you want to run down to the cafeteria or something, now would be the time. I’ll text you if anything happens.”
“I don’t want to miss anything.”
“I promise, Thatcher. I won’t let you miss a thing.” Blair said, finally giving me a kind smile. It was the smile she used to give me all the time, and it felt good to see it again.
The day turned into night, and everyone was becoming uneasy. The night wore on. It was miserable. I hated watching Carrie in pain, and I couldn’t stand hearing the doctor and nurses talking about ‘adequate progression of labor’ and other things I didn’t fully understand.
Only two people could be in the room with her at a time, and Blair had been designated as her birthing partner.
I would’ve loved that role, but I understood why she wouldn’t want me to have it.
I gave up the second space often, letting Carrie’s mom Diane, Sadie, Melinda, and even Celia in while I waited in the hallway. I was never far away.
I was terribly nervous as the hours wore on. I took to pacing the halls, waiting for something to happen. By morning, we’d all had enough. Carrie was exhausted. Finally, the doctor came in while Blair and I were there.
“We’ve booked an operating room for a Cesarean section. It’s time. She’s made some progress but not enough. I don’t want the baby put under any more stress than necessary.”
“They… they’re going to cut her open?” I swallowed hard and looked around for a chair.
“I don’t feel so good,” I murmured, pulling on the collar of my shirt.
“I think I might need some air. Is it hot to you?” I asked no one in particular.
“It’s just so stuffy.” I was circling the room trying to find a non-existent chair.
“I think this hospital needs more chairs.” I looked at the nurse, who looked strange to me.
She was light in the center and then fuzzy around the edges.
Were my eyes dilated? “I’ll donate a million dollars for chairs. ”
I realized everyone was staring at me. I gave them a small wave.
“Thatcher? Are you okay?” It was as if I was hearing Blair’s voice from a distance, and it almost didn’t make sense. It was kind of like she was Charlie Brown’s teacher. I cocked my head and frowned trying to make sense of what she was asking me.
“He’s going down,” a nurse announced.
It was the last thing I heard.
The next thing I knew, I was staring up at a ceiling. Very bright lights shone down in my eyes. “Jesus,” I exclaimed, then I froze. “Oh. Am I dead? Is Jesus here?” I whispered. “I meant no offense…”
“Thatcher!” a head appeared above me, staring down. It was Celia. “What the hell is wrong with you? Who are you even talking to?”
“I’m not sure.” Slowly, my confusion started to wear off. “Oh, no.” I tried to jump up, but that was a terrible idea. I almost toppled over again. “Is she gone?”
“I’m still here, Thatch,” Carrie said. “Thanks for taking my mind off things for a little while. I feel kind of sorry for you, but mainly that was pure comic relief.”
I couldn’t help but grin at her. “It was funny?”
Everyone but the nurse nodded. Even Diane.
“When was the last time you ate or drank anything?” the nurse asked, hands on her hips.
“Um…” I thought back but couldn’t remember. “I’m not sure,” I finally admitted.
The nurse gave a harumph sound. “Orange juice is on the way. As soon as we wheel her back to the operating room, you need to get something to eat in the cafeteria.
I was going to make a joke about preferring whiskey to orange juice, but she didn’t seem like the type who would think it was funny.
The orange juice arrived, and I sipped on it while I sat in Diane’s chair. “I’m sorry to steal your chair.”
“It’s okay, Thatcher.”
I’d managed to drink the entire cup by the time the orderlies arrived to wheel Carrie to an operating room. I lurched out of the chair and grabbed hold of one of the silver bars on her bed before they could roll her away from me. “Please,” I begged, “take good care of her.”
“We will, sir,” one of them said.
Carrie, who was clearly scared, reached for my hand.
I was shocked, but I grasped it like it was a lifeline.
“I love you, baby. I love you so much,” I couldn’t hold back.
I couldn’t let her go through a scary surgery where they cut her open to pull our child out of her without telling her how I felt.
A few tears escaped the corners of my eyes.
Carrie, who had been given an epidural and was on a lot of medicine, smiled at me. “I love you, too, Thatch. If something happens to me in there, just know that you were the love of my life. And you have to promise to take good care of our baby.”
“Of course,” I was crying openly now, as were Blair and Diane.
“She’s going to be just fine,” the nurse said brusquely. “Who’s going in with her?” She glanced at me. “Hopefully not him. He won’t make it through the first incision.”
“Me,” Blair said. “I’m going with her.”
The nurse nodded. “It’s time. Let’s go.” She glanced around. “The next time you see her, she’ll be holding a baby.” She actually smiled as she started out of the room.
“Wait!” Carrie grabbed for my hand again. I couldn’t wait to hear what other sweet thing she might have to say to me. “Thatcher, I swear to God, if you marry Madison Welles after I’m gone and let her raise our baby, I will haunt you until the day you die.”
I went pale. Damn. What they said about mothers being protective was true. Carrie, normally so sweet, was already showing a different side of herself. “I would never marry her. I never want to see her again. I promise.” I squeezed her hand and gave her a comforting smile.
She narrowed her eyes at me and gave me the finger signs that meant ‘I’m watching you.’
I blew her a kiss, but she’d already turned her head away. She was so tired she could barely hold it up anyway. She’d used the last of her energy to threaten me with eternal haunting.
***
I paced the waiting room like a caged bear.
I’d once stood and watched the sun bear at Zoo Atlanta for an hour.
The poor guy walked the same path inside his enclosure the entire time.
He had a nice sized exhibit, but he walked the same circle over and over, day after day.
I could tell because he’d worn a path down to dirt.
There was grass everywhere else. His paws seemed huge, compared to his relatively small size.
The path he’d worn down was just wide enough to accommodate those large paws.
I’d watched him, fascinated that he would repeat the pattern all day, every day.