CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX #2
I couldn’t help but grin. I was excited and nervous about our date, and it cracked me up that he still couldn’t stand Jon.
A knock on my door made me look up. Sadie and Melinda were standing there with a huge homemade card and dozens of balloons.
“Happy Birthday!” they yelled out, drawing the attention of all the students in the hall. They immediately ran over to give me birthday wishes and ask if there was any cake.
“Not yet,” I said. “But you might want to check back after lunch.” I knew my mom was sending a ton of cupcakes sometime today.
She’d told me she was sending enough for me to share with my teacher friends and the students, too.
Lord. Knowing my mother, she’d send about a thousand.
But I knew it was sweet. I’d just set them up near the door with a sign that reminded the students to just take one.
It had been a great start to the day. I bit my lip thinking about what was still to come.
***
When I got home, I found beautifully wrapped packages on my porch swing. I picked them up, mystified, and took them inside. When I opened the small card on top, I saw that they were from Thatcher. All the card said was, “For tonight.”
This was too much. I should have known Thatcher would go big. He always had—ever since the divorce, that is.
I sat on the edge of my bed, too overwhelmed to unwrap the presents.
He’d had lunch delivered by Blair. It was from my favorite Italian restaurant in Indigo Falls.
He’d gotten salad, breadsticks, and my favorite Tuscan chicken pasta.
He’d ordered lasagna for everyone else, and there was definitely enough for Blair, Melinda, Sadie, and Jon, who’d eaten half-heartedly.
There was also Tiramisu for dessert, which was one of my favorites.
I had kind of hated that Jon ate with us because I’d wanted to discuss the Thatcher developments with my friends.
I could tell they wanted to talk about him, too.
We couldn’t very well do it in front of Jon, though.
Frustrating as it was, I’d just have to talk to them tomorrow.
For now, I had to get ready. I opened the smallest box first and gasped.
A beautiful, sexy set of La Perla lingerie in a slivery blue color lay inside.
Even though I knew it was more than a little inappropriate for my ex to give me lingerie for our date, I loved it.
The next box held a silky, low-cut blue Mac Duggal cocktail dress.
It was beyond gorgeous. The last box held a pair of Christian Louboutin shoes in the exact same shade of blue.
I didn’t have time to dwell on what it all meant. I just hurried to shower, do my hair and makeup, and get dressed before he got there.
I had just finished putting my diamond earrings in when the doorbell rang.
I felt a giddy sense of nerves as I opened the door.
He looked… ridiculously handsome in a bespoke gray suit.
His blonde hair was styled perfectly. His jawline could cut glass.
Those crystal blue eyes of his swept up and down my body appreciatively, and I had to suppress a shiver.
“You look like a princess,” he said, his voice reverent. “Happy birthday.” He leaned in and kissed my cheek. My knees went a little weak at the familiar smell of his cologne.
“Thank you. You’ve done too much.”
“I say it’s not enough,” he winked at me and offered his arm.
I locked the door, put the keys in my clutch, and put my arm through his to descend the stairs.
“Are you ready?” he asked as he helped me into his car.
I nodded, but I wasn’t sure I was.
Later, as we sat at a table at La Belle Jardin, a trendy new French restaurant a short walk from the Fox Theatre, I couldn’t stop talking about the musical.
The restaurant was known for its fresh fruits and vegetables because of the hothouse garden on the roof. Both Thatcher and I ordered ratatouille to take advantage of the garden. We also had champagne and finished with fraisier for dessert because of the fresh strawberries.
We lingered over dessert, watching the people outside walking down Peachtree Street. Most of them were dressed up and going somewhere.
“Tonight has been magical,” I said. “Thank you for this.”
“You’re most welcome.” His eyes watched me with an intensity and a sadness that had me almost fearful of what he would say next.
“Carrie, I know I fucked everything up between us. I will be sorry for that for the rest of my life. I have tried so hard to work to show you that I can be a better man. That I am better than I was. Is there any part of your heart that can forgive me?”
He reached across the table for my hand. For once, I didn’t feel like pulling away when he brought up our past. I didn’t say anything, though, as I looked at him.
“I was in therapy, you know, for a couple of years after our divorce. I wanted to understand what happened to make me lose my mind like I did.”
I wasn’t sure I wanted to talk about this, but maybe I should listen. I knew he’d wanted to talk to me about it for years, and I’d always put him off. “What did the therapist say?”
“She said that what I had with Madison was never love. I mean, maybe it was originally, before she broke our engagement. But what happened later? She said that was obsession. That I built her into this ideal woman in my head. An ideal no one could possibly live up to. One that she didn’t even come close to deserving.
I had all my firsts with her, she broke my heart, and then she disappeared.
” He sipped his champagne. “The therapist said what I was trying to get back wasn’t so much Madison as it was the person I was before she blindsided me with who she really was.
She also thought I was stuck between two worlds—the elite life I’d been taught I should want and the more slow-paced, small-town life I actually enjoyed with you.
When things got stressful after Dad died and I had to take over the company, I messed up.
I fell back on what I knew best. I chose the life that was the path of least resistance, and I left you behind.
I became who my mother wanted me to be, who Madison wanted me to be, and who the world expected as CEO of Caldwell Financial.
” He squeezed my hand. “I hate what I did so damn much.”
I searched my heart. Most of the anger I’d felt towards him had cooled over the years.
It was hard to hold onto that level of rage and hate, especially when the person had proven himself in hundreds of ways during that time.
I would always hate what he did, but I couldn’t hate him any longer.
I just had to decide if I could give him the second chance he so obviously wanted.
“I forgave you a long time ago, Thatcher.” He looked surprised.
“I had to,” I clarified. “Holding onto all that anger was hurting me. To free myself from it, I had to forgive you. Forgiving you made me whole again.” He started to say something, but I held up a hand.
“But forgiving and forgetting are two totally different things. I know I’ll never forget what you did.
How could I possibly do that? The question is whether I can learn to trust you again. ”
He nodded, while I picked at my strawberry cake. It was delicious, but I was stuffed. There was no way I could eat another bite. I sipped champagne instead.
“Do you trust me as a father to Theo?”
“Of course.” I said it with no hesitation. I trusted him completely with Theo.
“Do you trust me to stand up for you and Theo against my family?”
I thought for a second, wanting to give him only honest answers. “Yes,” I finally said. “You’ve shown me many times over the years that you’ve put Theo and me before your mother. You started standing up for me against your mother almost immediately after the whole fiasco with Madison.”
“Once I learned how far she’d gone in her bizarre vendetta against you, I could barely stand to be around her myself. There was no way I would let her be around you without my total protection.”
“I’m grateful for that.”
“Do you trust me with your friends and family?”
“Yes.” I didn’t hesitate. So many times over the years he’d redeemed himself with my parents and my friends.
“Do you trust me as a friend?”
I thought about it. “Yes,” I surprised myself by saying. “I do. You’ve been a good friend to me for a long time now.”
“But you don’t think you can trust me as a romantic partner?”
I bit my lip. “I’m just not sure. You cheated, Thatch. You married me thinking I was second best to Madison. That I was just a fill in for when she came back to you. That’s hard to come back from.”
He nodded. “I understand. Is there anything I can do to…”
“You’ve done everything already. If I can’t trust you at this point, it’s because I don’t think I ever can.” I was saddened by the truth of it.
“But you said you weren’t sure. That’s not a no. Are you really unsure, or are you trying to spare my feelings?” His blue eyes were intense on mine.
I searched inside myself for the truth. “It’s because I’m unsure.”
“You still need to think about it.” It was a statement, not a question.
I nodded anyway. “I know I’m pressuring you.
I’d like to say I’ll stop, but I’m not sure I will.
I can’t risk someone else swooping in and snatching you up.
I want to be with you Carrie. I love you.
I want you. You and Theo are everything to me. I’d like us to be a family.”
“That’s just it. What if we start dating, Theo gets excited, and then it doesn’t work out?”
“So, we date in secret for a while. Your parents and friends will help us. So will Bryce and Celia and Olive. They’ll watch Theo for us on date nights. We won’t tell him until you’re sure.”
“What if you’re not sure?” I laughed.
“I’m sure.” He was dead serious. “I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.”
I studied his face and knew he wasn’t lying. “I need to think about it. I’ll give you an answer soon, though.”
He smiled. “Thank you for even thinking about it. It’s honestly more than I deserve.”
The rest of the night swept by like something out of a dream. We abandoned serious topics and switched to lighthearted things. He drove me home and walked me to my door.
I turned to give him a hug goodnight, but my eyes snagged on his perfect mouth.
Before I could think about it too hard, I put my arms around his neck and kissed him.
It started with the barest brush of our lips together, then deepened as he moved his hands to my waist. Soon we were kissing each other hungrily, and I felt desire pumping through me.
I felt how much he wanted me against my stomach, and I almost moaned at the thought of us being together in that way again.
The depth of my desire scared me, and I pulled back just as he was readjusting himself to get closer to me.
“Goodnight,” I said. “I had a wonderful time. Thank you for everything, Thatcher. Really.”
He leaned his forehead against mine, smiling. “Tonight was the best night I’ve had in a long, long time. Happy birthday.”
I touched my lips as I watched him pull out of my driveway.
I had a lot of thinking to do.