Chapter Nine #2
Walking over to the bar, Cierra could feel a few eyes on her, which made her feel self-conscious at first but quickly morphed into an ego boost. Harry was only ten feet away when their eyes met; they both awkwardly grinned at each other from across the lacquered bar.
He looked virtually the same, just with a beard and what looked like a new jacket.
Other than that, it was as if she had seen him yesterday.
She could see him pat the arm of the guy he was talking to and realized that he was wrapping up whatever conversation he was having to approach her.
“I think I’ll go say hi to the birthday girl,” Mia said with a wink.
Cierra ordered a light beer, knowing she’d be taking it easy on any booze for this event.
It would be hard enough to navigate with all her faculties, and she didn’t want to be the slurry-sad ex at the party.
And also, she wasn’t actually that sad. Her next date with Julian was the following day, so at least there was a reward at the end of this tunnel.
As soon as she had handed the bartender cash for her drink, she found herself face-to-face with Harry.
Instead of anger or resentment or embarrassment, the primary feeling that came over her once she saw those blue eyes was a calm gratitude for their reunion.
They embraced, maybe too tightly, before either of them spoke.
There weren’t any sparks, but a warm afterglow.
The kind a fire pit gives long after the flames have burnt out.
“It’s nice to see you, Cee.” He said it a little timidly, but it seemed honest.
“It’s nice to see you, too, Harry. I like the beard. It’s very distinguished. Suits you.”
He stroked it like a pet. “Oh, yeah, ha, just trying something new.” An awkward silence fell between them. “How have you been?”
What could she say?
Oh, hey, Harry. I’m doing so much better after you dumped me.
At first it was tough, because I realized I actually had nothing to my name and the things you said about me might actually be true, and I was seriously dreading the possibility I was going to have to move out of the city because I hadn’t realized how dependent I had grown to be on you.
Not just emotionally, but financially, too!
But no worries, I’m dating and have a new job I love.
Ha ha. Remember how tight this jumper used to be? ?
So she just said, “I’m doing good. Better. Not that I was doing poorly . . .” She shook her head, trying not to get flustered. “What about you? Doing okay?”
“Yeah, yeah I am.”
“Good.”
A beat passed, and they both took unnecessary sips from their drinks.
“So, this is weird.”
“Yeah . . .” she replied, and they both chuckled. Cierra cocked her head to one side and looked at him. “For what it’s worth, I think we’re handling this all pretty well, don’t you?”
He blew out some air and grinned. “Yeah, I suppose you’re right about that. You look good. Happy.”
“Thanks,” she replied with a small but warm smile.
“I . . . I hope we really can still be friends. Someday. Whatever that means,” Harry said nervously.
Instead of replying, Cierra held up her beer. “We had a good six years.”
“Yeah, we did.”
They clinked their brown bottles.
And then Melanie came over.
So that’s the new woman, Cierra thought. Of course.
Melanie had always been around. They had known each other for years but never clicked as friends.
It didn’t surprise Cierra that she was involved with Harry, but it disturbed her to think that Melanie was preferable to her in Harry’s eyes.
Now that they were in demonic three-way small talk, there was no choice but to play nice.
“What are we toasting to?” Melanie said in her raspy voice. Melanie gently but possessively placed a hand on Harry’s back, and all Cierra’s previous feelings of closure flew out the window; they were replaced by an irrational, white-hot rage.
“Amber’s birthday,” Harry said quickly.
“Hi, Melanie, how are you?” Cierra forced through a plastic smile.
Melanie swung her shiny jet-black hair to one side, showing her many perfectly curated necklaces, which all seamlessly went together and were definitely solid gold. “Good, thanks. Yourself?”
“Great.” A few seconds passed, each person grinning like a captive. “You’re a lawyer, right?”
“Yep, still at Waltz & Renner. God, can’t believe it’s almost been five years already.”
“She’s on track to make partner,” Harry interjected, like a reflex.
“That’s . . . incredible. Congrats,” Cierra said and took another swig of her beer. “What kind of law do you practice again?”
“She’ll be the youngest female partner the firm has ever had.” At this unnecessary outburst, both women swapped looks of confusion before Melanie steered the conversation back to Cierra’s question.
“I specialize in tax accounting, so, if you ever need anyone, let me know.” She did a little wink that made Cierra want to crawl out her skin. “And you have a new job, right?”
So, this was what Harry wanted? Cierra couldn’t stop comparing herself to this corporate Barbie. She definitely made more money than Cierra, and she was observably in better shape.
“By the way, your video popped up on my feed yesterday, and it was so cute. Consider me influenced.”
This was too much. Cierra tried looking for Mia to save her, but she was nowhere to be found.
“Oh, thanks. Yeah, just trying something new.” She placed her half-finished beer on the sticky bar. “Sorry, would you excuse me? Need to use the restroom.”
“Of course. Nice seeing you, Cierra,” Melanie said with a curt smile. Harry nodded. Before she was even ten feet away, Cierra overheard a hushed, raspy voice say, “God, she really is all over the place. I mean, reels and TikToks? Are you serious?”
With tears welling in her eyes, Cierra booked it to the ladies’ room. On the way, she finally spotted Mia, who was arguing about shoe sizes with an unfortunate staff member. Cierra yanked on her friend’s elbow, dragging her away.
“Ow!” Mia yelped, pulling her arm back.
“Where the fuck were you?!” Cierra hissed.
“I was watching the whole thing, but it looked like you had it covered. Why was Melan—” She paused. “Ohhh . . .”
“Yeah.”
Once the duo reached the bathroom, Mia checked for feet under the stalls.
“Oh my god, and that beard? I bet he’s devastated, and this is his way of acting out,” Mia started. She began preening herself in the mirror, fluffing her already perfect hair.
“Harry was fine. It’s just, ugh, Melanie??”
“I know, it’s like, we get it, you went to law school, woo-hoo.”
“Well, I mean, making partner is pretty impressive.”
“Anyone can be a lawyer, Cierra,” Mia said nonchalantly. With scrunched eyebrows, Cierra wasn’t fully following her friend’s claims, but Mia went on. “Making a killer saffron risotto is impressive. Interacting with fashion execs and start-up founders is impressive.”
Cierra exhaled. She appreciated what her friend was doing, but she didn’t want to be like this, resorting to finding “flaws” just to prop herself up. She was getting too old for that.
“He upgraded.” Cierra said quietly. “Got a better version.” This grabbed Mia’s attention, causing her to turn around with a concerned look.
“Huh? Better version? Oh, babe.” She gave Cierra a hug and smoothed her hair. “Why would you say something like that?”
Cierra recalled Harry’s tone of disappointment every year they couldn’t upgrade to the apartment they wanted. The contrast of Melanie’s bone-straight hair to Cierra’s wild mane. Even her look was more orderly.
The youngest female partner the firm has ever had.
Wannabe Instagram chef.
“I don’t know. She’s her, and I’m . . . maybe I just wasn’t good enough.” There, she’d said it. The words that had been eating away at her on and off for months.
Maybe I just wasn’t good enough.
Mia rubbed her shoulders and looked her friend in the eyes. “Cee, I don’t know when you started thinking this about yourself, but we have got to get you out of it. I’m gonna give you a reality check, okay? Ready?”
“No.”
“You are Cierra motherfucking Brooks. Okay? You graduated in the top ten percent of your class and not only had a killer start as a Product, um . . .”
“Manager.”
“Right. But then you had the guts to follow your passion! Like, no one does that. Everyone else is so scared of . . . Oh, what if this, what if that? But you just did it, and you’re amazing at cooking, too.”
Cierra smiled.
“And I’ve never told you this because it’s like, kind of lame, but I’ve always been a little jealous of you.”
“No, you haven’t.”
“Swear to God.”
Cierra squinted her eyes. “Why? What could you possibly be jealous of?”
“Listen, I know what people see when they look at me. I’m not like you, I don’t have any talents.”
“Mia, you have—”
“Devastatingly good looks and an irresistible personality?” At this, Mia donned a grin and Cierra rolled her eyes, but at least it made her laugh a little.
Mia’s round eyes glistened like shimmering blue water under the fluorescent bathroom lights.
“Listen, when you were living with me, seeing you working so hard, it made me think . . . maybe I should be more like her. Just . . .” She composed herself.
“I don’t want to hear you talking about my best friend like that ever again, okay? ”
Cierra nodded. “Okay.”
“Now let’s get back out there,” Mia declared, grabbing her bag. “I need to go whoop everyone’s ass in bowling.”