Chapter Twenty-Four #2
Erik. The same man who had built her up when she had expressed doubts about creating content, had celebrated her wins no matter how big or small, and who had taken care of her when she was having a panic attack on the side of a country road.
She shook her head, and wiped away hot, salty tears with her wrist. The worst part of all this was that she had no clue how to handle it.
Firstly, she was at work, and she couldn’t risk doing anything that would put her job in jeopardy (like walking over to Julian, throwing a drink in his face, and calling him a raging-piece-of-shit in front of all the investors, for instance).
Then there was the business of what she should do with regard to the wife.
She and Julian were over; there was no doubt about that.
But in these situations, telling the wife seemed like a dangerous game of Russian roulette.
On one hand, she felt a duty to let her know her husband was not just unfaithful, but had carried on a full-fledged relationship under her nose.
God, the more she thought about the depth of deceit, the more it made her stomach roll over.
On the other hand, Cierra couldn’t help but think of the horror stories of when truth-telling went south.
What if the wife didn’t believe her? What if she thought this was a plot to get attention, or even worse, what if the wife believed that an affair had happened — but blamed Cierra instead?
What if the wife went straight to Zelda, telling her that her private chef was a home wrecker?
The social circle of the rich in New York, hell, the country, was small.
No one wanted someone in their home with that kind of reputation.
Overwhelmed by the slew of possibilities and the fuckery of her life, she swiped another angry tear from her eye. And as she did so, she could hear quick, muffled talking on the other side of the door. The family walking their dog was nowhere in sight.
Hearing the latch of the front door open, Cierra took a deep breath and stood up from the porch steps, brushing off any debris from her pants and making a concerted effort to look normal. But when she turned around, she saw Julian standing on the porch and Mia looking indignant in the doorway.
“I told him he could fuck off, but he insisted on coming out,” Mia said with fire in her eyes and her hand braced on the door’s edge.
Julian stood with his head low and hands wrung; he seemed inches shorter than usual. “Cierra, please, can we talk? I know that you probably want to kill me right now—”
“Yes, that’s correct,” Mia responded.
Julian closed his eyes in frustration and continued, “Can I talk to Cierra alone for a few minutes?”
Nodding slowly toward Mia, Cierra quietly agreed. “I’ll be okay, Mia,” she said.
“Okay. I’ll be right inside,” Mia replied before closing the door behind her.
Now it was just the two of them, with the only witness being the gleaming moon up high in the night sky. Cierra looked at Julian with cold, betrayed eyes. “What do you have to say for yourself?”
He didn’t make eye contact but continued looking at his shoes, hands in his pockets. “I . . . um.” He cleared his throat. “I’m sorry, I’m so, so, sorry. It was never supposed to be like . . . I didn’t think . . .”
“You didn’t think what? That you’d ever get caught?”
“No,” he murmured. “I never thought that it’d get this far. That I’d fall in love—”
At this, Cierra laughed out loud. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
“Alexandra, my wife, we were separated I met you. But by the time you contacted me, we’d started trying to make things work.
” He took a deep breath, looking up at the sky.
“When we started dating, I thought you were sweet and interesting and then . . . and then things got complicated. Alexandra and I have known each other since we were teenagers. It’s hard leaving all that behind, and so, before you went away to the Catskills, I was trying to distance myself from you.
But then I realized how much I liked you .
. . loved you . . . but I also love my wife. ”
“You told me she cheated on you. That it was the worst heartbreak you’d ever experienced. Was that all a lie?” He bit the inside of his cheek and continued looking down. “Oh my god, it was you that cheated, wasn’t it?” Cierra said in horror.
“Listen, I know what I did was terrible. You probably never want to see me again, and I need help. I know that. The second I leave here, I’m going to therapy. I swear. Just, please, can we keep this between us?”
His eyes seemed sincere, but what value did that hold? When Cierra didn’t answer right away, his words still sinking in, his eyes became pleading.
“Cierra, please. Please, don’t say anything, I’m begging you. I’ll do whatever you want . . .”
Cierra didn’t recognize the wallowing man in front of her. He was desperate. She stood still, mute, all words escaping her.
“I’ll do anything. Name your price.”
At this, Cierra snapped out of her daze. She scoffed. “You want to pay me off? Are you serious?”
Taken aback, as if realizing what was coming out of his mouth for the first time in the conversation, he took a step back.
“Listen, Cierra, what we had . . . I care about you. But I’ve spent over a decade building a life with Alexandra, and .
. . and I’m not leaving her. I know you could use some help with building up your savings,” he said, pulling out his wallet.
He took some cash out, maybe eight hundred by the look of it, and held it out.
Cierra made no move to take it, disgusted. If this is what being “cared for” looked like, she would pass on this version.
“Cierra, don’t make this harder than it has to be,” he said, his voice hardening.
“And what’s that supposed to mean?” Cierra asked.
Frustrated, Julian left the cash on a nearby chair. “Let’s not pretend you look any better than I do right now. Just . . . don’t say anything. Let me handle it.”
He didn’t wait for a response before walking around the side of the house, presumably to rejoin the party out back, putting on his charming smile again, as if nothing had happened.
Cierra reentered the mansion’s foyer, devastated.
It was empty, save for Mia, who was waiting in the living room, and Erik, who was with her.
Distant sounds of rock music and hearty laughter helped to fill the cavernous ground level.
By the look of fury and confusion on Erik’s face, Cierra didn’t need to ask if he was aware of the situation.
Even if Mia hadn’t said anything, Erik was well aware of what Julian looked like.
She walked over to her friends, too shell-shocked to feel embarrassed or sad or any other emotion, for that matter.
“That fucking asshole . . .” Erik began.
Mia reached out to place a hand on Cierra’s upper arm. “So, what did he have to say?”
“He . . . uh . . .” Cierra began, but she was struggling to form a complete sentence.
But then Mia spotted the wad of cash in Cierra’s hand. She took it, looking back at her friend in horror.
Rather than confirm what Julian had done, Cierra began to cry. Not a loud, full-body weep — but one of silent defeat. The tears came out like a stream of water trickling down a boulder. His hush money offer added to the feeling of their relationship feeling like a big one-sided transaction.
“I’m so sorry,” Mia said, consoling her friend as best she could, considering the unforgivable circumstance. Cierra nodded and gave a faint smile before wiping her tears away.
“What can we do?” Erik asked.
“As much as I want to call him out for the bastard he is — I have to think about what’s best for myself right now. Erik, you know how much is riding on this getaway for Zelda. I don’t think her investor is going to appreciate it if she finds out her husband has been dating the chef.”
“It’s not your fault, it’s not like you knew,” Erik said.
But Mia got it. She was listening attentively to what Cierra was saying, hating the fact that she was making a good point.
“Ugh, this is so fucked,” Erik said.
“Yeah,” Mia and Cierra said in unison.
“For the sake of the trip, I think the best thing to do is just carry on like nothing is out of the ordinary. My job and future recommendations depend on the success of this trip, and I will not let Julian rob me of anything else. Once we’re back in New York, I’m going to tell his wife everything.
But for now, I need to just pretend this isn’t happening, okay? ”
“Fine, but I’m only doing this for your sake,” Erik said. He walked away, leaving the two women alone.
With wet, regretful eyes, Cierra sniffled, and Mia wiped a tear away.
“I was such a bitch earlier,” Cierra said, more bluntly than usual.
Mia chuckled and just gave Cierra a hug. “Don’t worry about it, babe. You didn’t mean it.”
“No, seriously. I shouldn’t have made that comment on the plane.
Or the one back in the Catskills about not everyone being casual.
I just . . . I wanted things to be perfect with Julian, you know?
And whenever he did or said things that mashed with the version of him in my head, and you pointed them out, I just got defensive.
And you were so right . . .” Cierra said, her voice breaking.