Chapter 4
4
Haley
The whole ride back to our apartment, guilt tears at every cell in my body. Cooper didn’t mean anything by asking about Roman’s father, but it still gutted me. Why? Because he already looks at me like I’m a lost puppy. A crossword puzzle that he wants to solve. I can’t let myself fall into being a problem to fix, no matter how gorgeous he is, inside and out.
I have trust issues and a whole mess of others, but being around Cooper has been the first sense of peace I have had in a very long time. I had just finished my associates degree at a local college when I got pregnant with Roman. His father was my first and only relationship, a manipulative bastard who was only dating me to get close to my father.
Stupid me was in love with him, not knowing that he had several other girls on the side. I was still living at home, despite Jensen’s wishes, but with only a few years under his belt in the military, I didn’t want to cause him any financial hardships because with my not being a minor anymore, I couldn’t live on base with him. I promised him I’d get my degree and then move to New York. Plus, my parents’ house was only a few hours away from his base, so I still saw him often when he was there.
Jensen hated it, but we remained close. For the most part, my parents left me alone. Going to college at least kept them off my back, and I knew once I had my degree in hand, I could go work at any school I wanted to in the city. I was so excited for the first time about my future, but then I got pregnant with Roman at barely twenty years old.
Ethan had no interest in having our baby. When I showed him the test, he promptly dumped me, but not before calling my father. He called me into his home office, where he was waiting for me. I had twenty-four hours to pack all of my stuff and leave. I was in shock, and to this day his words still haunt me.
“I have wasted enough energy and money on you, after your whore of a mother forced me to endure the burden of your existence. I don’t care where you go, but I want you and your bastard child out of my home.”
I filled three suitcases with the most important items, and then I dragged them out to the curb. Thankfully, Jensen had given me his old Ford sedan when he left for Boot Camp, so I at least had a vehicle so I could drive away. But that was all I had. I was closing the trunk when the tears finally broke free and began running down my cheeks. I came around my car to find my mother standing beside the hood, her arms crossed over her chest.
I had a moment of hope, where I thought she would see the light and help me, her only daughter, but I couldn’t have been more wrong. She held out her palm and demanded my house keys. With shaking hands, I extracted them from the key ring and watched her march back inside. I drove about a mile before I had to pull over and lose my shit.
Sobbing, I called Jensen, and I know for a fact I gave him an aneurism by the time I was able to calm down enough to explain everything to him. He was so angry and hurt that to this day I’m surprised he didn’t drive down to our parent’s house and beat the hell out of Dad, but he remained in control. He booked me a hotel just a couple miles from his base, and when I pulled into the parking lot, he was waiting for me out front. It wasn’t until I was safe in his arms that I knew everything would be okay.
He helped me get a job at the commissary on base, and got me into a small apartment close by. He went to my baby classes with me, and helped me set up a makeshift nursery in one half of my bedroom. For Christmas that year, he bought me Roman’s car seat and carriage combo, and I cried for days over the thoughtfulness that was my brother.
Hell, he was even in the room with me when I was in labor, and then held my hand for my emergency cesarian when Roman was in distress. He is, without a doubt, the only person who has ever loved me unconditionally.
While I was happy working at the store and spending any free time with Rome, I wanted more, and my desire to finish my education and become a teacher was all I really wanted, outside of being a mom. I almost reenrolled to finish my degree, but then I got a phone call from our cousin Beth in Nashville. She was offering me a job at her daycare, Tiny Tots, and she knew how much I had been through in the last couple years.
It was an opportunity to start over far away from all the bad memories.
But it was also taking me far away from Jensen. He came home from the base that night, and I sat down to talk to him about it. What I didn’t know was that Beth had already called him, and while he was hesitant to let us go, we had his full blessing and support.
His only compromise was that I let him help pay for my apartment. So, I intentionally found myself the cheapest place I could, and while he’s never actually seen it, I know he’s not happy that it isn’t one he chose. Truthfully, he probably knows I’m skimping just to save him money. Oh, well.
Stopping at the local grocery store, I head inside with Roman holding tight to my hand as we pick out some food to bring to the park, a completely impromptu trip I decided upon in all my mindless contemplation as I drove. And thirty minutes later as I sit on the grass watching him try to chase after a butterfly, I grab my phone to snap a photo. As I do, I’m reminded of the one I took just a few hours ago.
With a deep sigh, I decide to take a chance, and make sure that Roman is still safe before texting the photo to Cooper. Knowing he is still at the station, I don’t expect much. So, when my phone dings while I’m changing Roman’s diaper, I’m shocked to see a message from him.
Cooper: Thank you for the picture. It was really nice seeing you both today.
“Yeah, sure,” I mutter under my breath. “Maybe it was nice to see you, huh, Roman? Meanwhile, your mommy acted like a total maniac and probably gave him whiplash with my mood change.”
Haley: You’re welcome.
Cooper: So, what are the chances I could see you guys again soon?
Cooper: You said we could be friends, right?
Cooper: If that’s not what you want anymore, I respect that.
Cooper: Jesus. SORRY. I’ll stop now. I promise.
Laughing, I finish getting Roman dressed and pull him onto my lap while I respond to his quick-fire messages.
Haley: Of course we can be friends. Calm down, March.
Cooper: Don’t you be getting sassy with me, ma’am.
Haley: Only way I know how to be, sorry.
Cooper: I like you just fine the way you are.
Cooper: Also, while you’re still talking to me. I’d like to apologize for running you off today. It was none of my business asking about something so personal when we barely know each other.
My heart rate climbs, and my stomach does a funny swoop at his words. Pressing a kiss to Roman’s cheek, I laugh when he tries to get his grubby fingers on the screen. I hold my phone up and out of the way, and he giggles when he thinks I’m playing keep away.
Haley: You don’t need to apologize. I’m sorry for how I reacted. Maybe one day I can explain everything to you. I just have a hard time letting people in.
Cooper: Well, then my goal is proving to you that you’re safe with me.
Damn it. That’s the sound of my walls beginning to crackle around me. Freaking Cooper March and his golden retriever self.
“Rome, what are we going to do with Cooper, huh?” I ask my son.
“Poop!”
“What? Buddy, you just went to the bathroom,” I state, and he climbs off my lap to grab his sippy cup.
“Mama. Poop. Poop!”
Sighing, I settle back on the blanket and cross my legs at the ankles. “Alright then, kiddo. You go ahead and poop. But I really don’t think you have anything left in there.”
At least I hope not.
A couple days later, I walk inside Tiny Tots for my first day of work, Roman holding my hand and his diaper bag over my shoulder. I also have a lunch bag, a tumbler of coffee, and my Yeti water bottle tucked under my arm. I definitely underestimated how much stuff I needed to bring with me, and then I realized I didn’t have a tote bag big enough to bring everything.
Needless to say, we will be hitting Target on the way home.
Making it to the toddler room, I drop off Roman with a kiss and head to where I can stash all my things before making my own way to my room. Stepping inside, I find another teacher in there already, with only one baby. I told Cooper last night that today was my first day here, and his text saying good luck when I woke up this morning was much needed. I’m not sure why I’m so nervous, but deep down I think it’s just the people side of the business.
I’m shy, and I struggle to make friends easily. Despite Beth being our cousin, I don’t actually know her that well, but having spent some time with her since moving to town, I finally have a real friend for the first time in my life who isn’t my older brother. And well, maybe now Cooper, too.
“Hi, you must be Katie,” I greet, holding out my hand to the brunette filling one of the units with more changing supplies.
“Hi! I’m so happy you’re finally here. Beth told me all about you, and I’m so excited to have a new face around here.”
Smiling, I set my water bottle down and reach out a hand for her to shake, but Katie is a bundle of sunshine and pulls me into a tight hug. When she pulls away, I take a good look at her, and realize she must be around my age, with big brown eyes, and dressed in leggings and a tee. I’m dressed similar, and now I know why Beth put me in this room.
Is this what we call friend matchmaking ? Either way I’m grateful, because deep down I know that my brother has probably had several conversations with Beth since I got out here, and his influence has clearly traipsed across the country to her, where she’s happy to do his bidding for me. I want to be annoyed, but I really can’t be.
For the first time in a long time, I have more than one person in my corner.
I’m happy, my son is happy, and I can’t ask for much more.
Several hours later when I’m sitting down for my lunch break with Katie, I tell her more about myself, and I ask if she knows any of the guys at the fire station, since we’re only a few blocks away from where Cooper is.
“I don’t, but my best friend from high school graduated with one of the guys over there. I can’t remember his name though. They’re a busy house, too. We often hear them go racing past at all times of the day.”
I’m reaching for my Caesar salad when one of the toddler teachers pokes her head into the break room, Roman attached to her hand. “Sorry to interrupt, but this poor kiddo keeps asking for something called a ‘waff’ and we’re not sure what that means. And he’s pretty upset,” she says, Roman running over to me in tears.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I forgot to add that info to his chart. He’s cutting a couple molars, and he likes to chew on a frozen waffle to help with the pain. They aren’t as hard on his gums as those rubber rings you can buy for teething.”
Moving over to the full-size fridge that is there for all us employees, I rip open the brand-new bag of waffles and offer one to Roman, who immediately clamps down on it.
“That’s absolutely the best idea I’ve ever heard of,” his teacher says. “Sorry, forgive my manners. I’m Dolly, and I’m one of his teachers.”
“Yeah, hi. I’m Haley, his mom, obviously. I take it your parents are country music fans?”
Dolly starts laughing, and I just smile. “You’d be right there, my friend. Unfortunately for me, I don’t take after my namesake in the talent or tit department, but I do love her music.”
“I do, too. And a firefighter taught me the waffle trick. We ran into him at the grocery store a little over a week ago when Rome was having a meltdown.”
“Oh, please tell me you have a photo of this super hero, Haley,” Dolly jokes, and I nod my head.
“Yeah, I have one from when he showed Roman the fire trucks the other day. Hold on.” Shifting Roman to my other leg, I reach into my purse and grab my cell, pulling up the photo on my screen.
“Oh girl. He is delicious,” Katie gushes, and Dolly whistles.
“Yeah, he’s pretty cute,” I admit, and then Roman lets out a yell.
“Poop, Mama!”
Rolling my eyes, I look down at my sweet boy. “Why you always telling me you have to poop, little bugger? Just do it quietly and then I’ll clean it. No need to announce it.”
“Poop! Pooop!” And then Roman swats my phone with his finger, pointing to the photo.
“Wait…” I look between my phone and then Rome before realizing what he’s saying. He wasn’t telling me he had to go to the bathroom. He was trying to say Cooper.
“No, he didn’t,” Katie cracks up, and I can’t help it. In seconds we’re all rolling with laughter, as Roman keeps chanting ‘Poop’ at the top of his lungs.
This is classic. I can’t wait to tell Cooper.