Chapter 10
10
Haley
Oh my God, I’m nervous.
Clenching my fingers over the steering wheel, I look in the rearview mirror to see Rome playing happily with his blue truck, his eyes sparkly and excited. From the second I got off the phone with Cooper yesterday, I’ve been in full blown panic mode, and Jensen had to talk me off the ledge when I called him during my break at work.
Not only do I have his full support either way, but he genuinely thinks me and Cooper would have been a sure thing, even if I hadn’t temporarily moved in with him. It’s not like I didn’t feel our connection that day in the store, but my entire life, I’ve never had an easy time with new people and trust.
Sure, him helping Roman that day put him in my good graces, but it didn’t mean that I could really and truly trust that he was a good man. But that night of the fire was a first step, and in the past couple weeks, I’ve done nothing but find myself falling under his spell; a spell that he isn’t even casting on purpose.
Roman and I make the rest of the drive home in silence. As I turn into the driveway, the butterflies in my stomach go wild, and I have to take a deep breath to calm myself. Parking next to Cooper’s SUV, I kill the engine and get my bags out of the backseat, before getting Roman out. Holding tight to his hand, I get him inside and set my things down beside the front door. I’ve barely set my car keys on the entry table when footsteps sound, and Cooper comes rushing into the hallway, dressed in Wranglers worn in all the right places, and a white button up that he has rolled at the forearms.
Coming over to us, he pulls me into the tightest hug possible, and I return it with just as much enthusiasm. Despite my nerves over tonight, I can’t help being so damn happy to see him, and immediately feeling completely safe with him.
He pulls away to kiss my cheek, and then goes for Rome. Grabbing him up into his arms, the two go running into the living room and I smile with a shake of my head, before carrying all my stuff to my room. I’m plugging my Kindle in when I hear someone behind me, and turn to see Cooper standing in the doorway. He has his hands in his pockets and his hip against the door frame.
“Hi,” I say nervously, and he grins before sauntering over to me.
“Hi, Haley girl.”
“How was your day?” I ask, and is it just me or did my voice just go high. I drop my head and close my eyes, trying to calm my racing heart.
“It was good. Better now that you’re home,” he says, and the deep rasp of his voice has me swallowing hard before biting my bottom lip.
“That’s good.”
Jesus, did the oxygen get turned down in the room? I can barely breathe.
“Haley,” he whispers, and I lift my head to find him only inches from my face.
“Coop.”
“I’m gonna feed Rome, okay? Why don’t you get showered and changed?” he suggests, and I nod. Cooper smiles before reaching up to brush a strand of hair behind my ear. His thumb traces softly over the sensitive skin and my heart almost stops when he bends down to press a chaste kiss to the same spot his thumb was just touching.
I barely have a moment to process what happened, and he’s left the room. Barely able to stay standing, I drop down onto the edge of my mattress and cover my mouth with my hand.
Holy shit. Okay then, guess we’re doing this.
If I don’t die first.
I procrastinated in the shower as long as I thought I could. I shaved every inch of my body, used a hair mask to make my auburn tresses super soft, and now I’ve finished rubbing myself down with my newest body lotion. It smells like amber and vanilla, and I’m completely obsessed. Looking through all of my clothes, I don’t have too many options. I haven’t gone shopping for anything much outside of the things that were given to me, but there is a simple black dress with spaghetti straps that is loose and flowy.
Normally, I curse my smaller sized chest, but for now, I’m fine with it because I don’t have to ruin the dress with a bra. I haven’t replaced my strapless one yet. By the time I’ve dried my hair, I feel like a new person. Peering into the mirror, I pinch my cheeks for some color and then brush my hair off my shoulders.
No doubt I’m nervous to talk to Cooper, but all my instincts tell me that it will be okay. At the end of the day, even if it’s not, I still have a few new friends and my brother, and a job I really love for now. Nodding at myself in the mirror, I shut off the light and head out to find Rome and Cooper.
Having taken so long to get ready, I find them in the living room laying on the couch watching Bluey together. Rome is already in a pair of his pajamas, and Cooper is holding him on his chest as they both space out on the screen.
Neither have noticed me yet, so I just take the moment to drink them in. The way that Rome is completely relaxed in Cooper’s arms. The way Cooper’s hand absentmindedly rubs over Rome’s back to keep him happy.
My boys. Because yeah, that’s what they are.
“Don’t you two look cozy,” I say, stepping fully into the room. Cooper’s head lifts to mine, and I watch his blue eyes widen before they rake up and down my body in a full pursual. And doesn’t that just heat my skin.
“Look how beautiful Mama looks, Romey,” Cooper husks out, and Rome climbs off him to come running over to me. Swooping him up in my arms, I kiss his head before I carry him over to the couch. We sink into the cushions next to Cooper and he slings his arm around my shoulders.
A glance at the clock tells me Rome’s bedtime is just about here. “I’m gonna go get his teeth brushed and tuck him in before we do stories. Do you want to go start dinner?” I ask, and Coop shakes his head.
“I don’t want to miss out on story time, Hales. Dinner can wait.”
Be still my heart.
Because that’s not just a line he’s feeding me to get laid. Cooper March doesn’t say anything that he doesn’t mean, and he genuinely wants to do these things.
It’s all a total mind fuck, if I’m being honest. It’s not like I have the most experience of growing up in a normal household where my mom and dad loved each other. To be fair, they barely interacted with each other, and when they did it consisted of Dad telling Mom to shut up, and Mom calling Dad a son of a bitch.
Yeah, super Brady Bunch of us.
We finish the episode of Bluey together, before we both get Rome into his room and settled for bed. We both sit on the floor next to his portable crib, and we each take turns reading him his favorite books before I turn off the light and power on the baby monitor. Kissing my baby goodnight, I make my way from the room while Cooper says his own goodnights to Roman.
Waiting for him in the living room, I rub my hands up and down my arms, nervous jitters running through my body. I have no idea how tonight is going to go, and I want so badly for this to be my chance at finding happiness.
I hear the door shut down the hallway, and I watch Coop come strolling into the room. He comes right over to me, and I smile up at him. “Thank you for being so good to him, Coop. It means more than I can say.”
“He’s a good kid,” he states, like it’s so natural for him to do it.
“True, but not every man would be so welcoming to him.”
Cooper comes closer and uses a single finger to lift my chin. “Anyone who wouldn’t accept that precious boy the second he met you isn’t a real man.”
I barely have a chance to grasp his words before his mouth drops to mine, my eyes closing at the feel of his soft, full lips against my own. Groaning, he cradles my face in his rough hands and licks across my bottom lip, demanding access to all of me. I don’t bother hesitating, and I open for him. Cooper immediately licks into my mouth, and this time it’s me groaning into his kiss.
“Coop,” I gasp, and he pulls away, breathing heavily.
“You okay?” he asks, running his thumb over my bottom lip.
“Yes. No. I don’t know.” Stumbling over my words, I run my fingers over my forehead.
“Breathe, sweetness. Just tell me what you want.”
Closing my eyes, I take a few deep breaths, before opening my eyes and locking them straight on Cooper’s bright blue ones. “I’m scared,” I confess, and his eyes gentle.
“I know. But you don’t have to be, I swear it. I’ll never hurt you.”
“You can’t promise something like that.”
“I can,” he reasons, stepping back just a bit. “I can promise that. I would never hurt you with my words or my hands. I won’t cheat, and I won’t let you down.”
“Coop…”
“Just give me a chance to prove that to you.”
The conviction in his words has me nodding at him, and when he presses another kiss to my lips, I reach out to grab a hold of his waist.
“I want to talk to you though,” I get out between kisses, and he nods, stepping back.
“Of course. Come sit with me while I cook dinner, we can talk then.”
“Okay.”
Taking me by the hand, he walks me out to the kitchen, where he pulls out a stool for me so I can sit at the counter. He offers me a glass of white wine, and while I’m not a big drinker, I accept, if only to give me something to calm my nerves.
“So, on the menu is marry me chicken, roast potatoes and carrots, and I grabbed an apple pie for dessert. Any allergies I should know about? Does this sound okay?” he asks, and I assure him a grin.
“No allergies. And that sounds delicious.”
Cooper begins pulling stuff from the fridge and pantry while I take a sip of wine. It’s fruity and delicious, and I make a note to ask him later what kind it is.
“So, what did you want to talk to me about?” he asks, and I know it’s now or never.
“I want to tell you about my life, why I’ve been so standoffish and afraid to let you in,” I say, fingers twiddling with the stem of the wineglass.
“You don’t owe me anything, Hales.”
“Maybe not, but I want to tell you.”
“Alright. I’m all ears.”
“Jensen and I grew up in a small town in Connecticut to very wealthy parents. Our dad is one of the top three surgeons in all of New England, and the circles he’s in are powerful and well respected.”
Cooper begins reaching for pans when my next words come out. “Jensen was supposed to be an only child. My biological father is the small-time mechanic my mother had an affair with.”
Cooper stops moving around the kitchen to start dinner. Instead, he pops the chicken back in the fridge and takes a seat across from me. His actions mean more than I could say, so with a heavy sigh, I force back the tears threatening to spill and continue with my story.
“Needless to say, growing up wasn’t very good for me. Sure, I had food on the table and clothes in my closet, but it was devoid of love, except from my brother. My sperm donor never wanted me, and our dad only agreed to raise me because, can you imagine the scandal,” I say in a shocked mock voice. Cooper smiles and reaches out his hand, taking mine in his warm fingers.
“The horror,” he says softly.
“Both my parents were absent from my life, and anytime I had something that I needed family there for, Jensen stood in for them. He practically raised me, and the day he left for basic training was one of the worst days of my life.”
“I can imagine. He was your safety net, and then he was gone.”
I take in and deep breath, let it out and nod. “Yeah, but he was also going against Mom and Dad’s wishes of following in Dad’s footsteps of being a surgeon. I never got to talk to him the whole time he was at basic training because they refused his phone calls, but really, it was just to hurt us both.”
“That’s pretty fucked up, sweetness.”
“I know. But I was fourteen when he finished basic training, and he was stationed in New York. He came home for a few days before going, and he slipped me a prepaid cell phone and a piece of paper with his phone number and his superiors. From then on, I was in constant contact with him, and I was able to visit him on his off weekends when I could.”
I reach for my wine, needing a moment before I get to the rest of this sordid tale, and Cooper does the same with his beer. He squeezes my hand to encourage and comfort me, and I bite my bottom lip.
“I was supposed to move to New York after I graduated high school, but Jensen was deployed during that time, so I enrolled in the local college and began work getting my associates degree. That’s when I met another student named Ethan Styles. He was two years older and pre-med, and I fell head over heels in love with him.
Really, I was just an innocent girl who never knew what real love was, and fell into bed with the first guy who showed me any sort of affection. But regretting that would mean I regret my son, and he is without a doubt the best thing I’ve ever been given.”
I watch as Cooper stands from where he’s sitting, and moves to come sit down next to me. His hand rests firmly on my thigh, his body turned to face me.
“I found out I was pregnant a month after I finished my associates. I told him, and the first thing he did was tell me he didn’t want it. I was heartbroken, but thought maybe he’d change his mind with time. I went home, and my father was waiting for me. Told me I had twenty-four hours to pack my shit, and then I was to…” My voice trails off as I struggle to maintain my composure, because fuck, these words always hurt so much to get out.
“It’s okay, Hales,” Cooper whispers, and he presses his lips to my temple.
“I was to leave, me and my bastard child.”
Cooper inhales sharply, and his hand tightens on my leg. “Motherfucker,” he grates out.
“So, I packed a couple suitcases, and left their house. My mom stopped me in the driveway, and instead of saying ‘I love you’ or ‘I’m sorry,’ she demanded my house key and watched me drive away. I went straight to Jensen, and he moved us into an apartment. I was there until my cousin, Beth, offered me the job at the daycare, and I jumped. Despite my brother being my best friend and only family, I needed to get away and start over.”
“Understandable,” he says against my skin, and I swallow thickly.
“That day I met you? I was so taken back by someone just genuinely trying to help me and my baby. I’m not used to kindness and love and affection, despite my brother forever showering me in it as much as possible.”
“I’m sorry that you’ve been through so much, sweetheart. You and Roman deserve the entire fucking world, and to know that you’ve been through those things boils my blood.”
Turning to face him, I reach up to touch his scruffy jaw, and lean my forehead against his.
“I’m sorry that I didn’t let you in back then, but I wasn’t ready. Hell, I’m not sure if I’ll ever be ready, but I want to try, Coop. I trust you, implicitly, and I know you’d never do anything to break that trust. You’re too good a man for that, but it’s hard to break those walls and jump right into the unknown.”
“I got you, Haley girl. It’s an unknown for me too, but I can promise that you’ll never be alone again. You and Roman both.”
“Thank you,” I whisper, and for the first time, I make the first move and turn so I can wrap my arms around his neck and hug him tightly. He buries his face in the crook of my neck, and soothes his hands up and down my back, one hand playing with the long strands of my hair.
“Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me all this,” he replies, and I pull away regretfully. His arms feel like heaven around me.
I don’t say any other words, and Cooper moves some hair off my face before giving me a soft kiss. Pulling away, he runs his thumb down the side of my face and his expression is filled with purpose and gentle determination.
“I’m gonna make sure you never go a day without knowing how special you are, and just how wanted you are in so many people’s lives, sweet girl. I promise.”
Hey heart? It’s me, Haley.
Time to start letting us fall in love with Cooper March.