Copper (QUEENS WRAITHS MC #3)

PROLOGUE

BELLA

Beau looks disappointed in me. I hate that he’s judging me for what I’m about to do. He’s not only my closest friend; he’s also my business partner. I hide nothing from him. He knows it all—all the secrets and lies I hold close to my chest.

His judgment hurts me in a way I never expected, especially as he knew this might happen. He had to, as he would have to run our company without me.

“I don’t think this is a good idea, Bells.”

“There’s no other choice, though, is there?” I don’t care if my reply is a little curt. My heart is hurting. I wish with all my soul there was another way. And because I’m hurting, I’m feeling a little bitchy when I press him. “Is there, Beau? If you have another suggestion, I’ll listen.”

“No,” he replies softly with a sad little smile, “there’s no other choice.”

I can’t stop the tear that trickles down my cheek.

Someone enters the office. We both know who it is. I stand straight and harden my expression, wiping away the evidence of my tears as Sam appears in the doorway.

Beau looks resigned. He gives me one last look, one I can read like an open book—he may not like what I’m about to do, but he’ll be here for me if I need him.

“What’s going on?” Sam asks.

“How much did you hear?” I ask before I break our hearts.

Sam leans against the doorframe. My gut clenches as I drink in every detail of him. He’s gorgeous. God, this is going to hurt so much.

I curl my hands into fists to control their tremble. If I give any indication that something is wrong, he’ll pick up on it.

“Not much. Only that Beau doesn’t think whatever you were discussing is a good idea, and you telling him there’s no choice.”

I tighten my lips to stop myself from blurting everything out. But I made a promise long ago not to bring Sam into it, and I’ll keep that promise no matter what. I’ll do what I have to, but only if my family and Sam are safe.

And if breaking us is the only way to do that, I’ll do it.

So, when Sam asks me what’s going on, why I snuck out of bed this morning, I push it all away, every ounce of love I have for him, burying it deep. I school my expression to cool disdain and outright lie to him.

“I had shit to do, Sam. I didn’t know that the women you slept with had to inform you of their every move.”

I almost cave when he walks closer, bringing with him his unique scent that is all him. My stomach dips as memories assault me—all those times I wanted him and pushed him away for the greater good.

Sam pushes me for an answer, but more cold lies spew from my lips.

“I wanted to see if taking my attention away from my business to spend time with you was worth it.” My mouth twists wryly.

“Turns out it wasn’t.” I shrug carelessly and clench my hands, my nails biting into my palms as I continue with my lies.

“The sex was mediocre at best, and honestly, I don’t have the time or the inclination to show you how to make it better.

I’ve got a big project coming up that needs all my attention.

It’s best if we end this now before you get hurt. ”

Every lie that leaves my lips is like a shard of glass ripping through my heart until I’m a shell of the woman I was this morning. I deserve a fucking Oscar for this performance.

The confusion and devastation on Sam’s face gut me. He grinds out his next words as if he’s in physical pain. And if he’s feeling even an iota of what I am, he probably is.

“Before I get hurt,” he asks in disbelief.

I know that I have to deliver the final blow, even if it kills me to do so.

“Yes, before you get hurt. I don’t feel for you what you feel for me, Sam.

I never have, which is why I’ve been putting you off for years, hoping you’d get over your infatuation.

When you told me what you wanted, I thought, why the hell not?

Your blatant desire for me meant I wouldn’t have to work hard.

I tried. I honestly tried over the last few weeks, but there’s nothing there. I’m just not that into you.”

My words have their desired effect, but Sam is stubborn.

He pushes one last time. “You enjoyed last night,” he states.

I know he’s trying to make sense of what’s happening. Fuck! I’m trying to make sense of it, and I’m the one breaking us.

But he’s right. I enjoyed myself immensely. I loved every minute of his hands on my body. But if I’d known last night what I know today, I would never have gone there.

I hope Beau made the call to Alec. Beau knows that Sam will need his best friend because my next words will break us as I knew they would.

Still, I continue to drive a knife through both of our hearts, knowing there’s no coming back from this. “Pure biology, I’m afraid. I get the same reaction when I use a vibrator. Now, if that’s all, I have work to do.”

I follow up by telling him to keep our breakup civil. That last little dig breaks him, and I know we’re done.

My heart fractures, and I hate myself a little more as Alec appears and guides a devastated Sam from my office. I know my words have shattered him, but I need him to hate me. I hated myself—and I knew why I was doing this.

Bending over, I draw in deep breaths, trying to steady myself against the pain. It feels like I’m having a heart attack; that’s how much my chest hurts.

Beau comes to my door to check on me, but I wave him away.

I don’t want comfort—I want to feel every ounce of pain.

I need to experience the devastation that the man I’ve loved since I was a teenager is feeling.

If he feels even an ounce of the pain racking me now, I know he’s in agony.

Contrary to what everyone believes, I love him. Which is why I had to push him away.

Tears spill down my cheeks as I hear Sam and Alex leave through the back office. I collapse into my chair, burying my face in my hands as sobs break free. My heart shatters with every breath.

I never thought this would happen. I thought we’d follow in our parents’ footsteps and get our happy ever after. But that’s not our destiny. I’ve made my choices, as hard as they’ve been.

I’ve never been one to show my emotions, but I know that’s one of the reasons they chose me. Doesn’t mean I don’t feel, because I do. Deeply. But I don’t always express my emotions like I should.

“You don’t have to do this.”

Wiping the tears running down my face, I turn towards the voice in the shadows. He’s been here the whole time. I hate that he’s watching me break. Sam was unaware of him because the man is good at cloaking his presence.

“I do, though,” I answer, my voice hitching on a sob.

“It’s what you’ve trained me for. It’s why I’ve made the sacrifices I have.

You don’t have anyone else, or you would’ve put them in place already.

We both know that. Silas has seen it. This is how everything has to play out.

We know better than to mess around with what’s coming. ”

I sigh wearily as I stand and walk towards the window, feeling every one of my twenty-seven years.

I’m just in time to watch Alec drive out of the parking lot with Sam in the passenger seat.

“Besides, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself knowing I had the power to help those in need, and I didn’t because it would interfere with my life. ”

Silence reigns, but I know he’s still there in the same way I know he hates what this is doing to me. None of us knew how much our lives would change all those years ago. I certainly never imagined that my life would alter so drastically.

Turning away from the window, I look at the large Viking-like man standing in the corner of my office.

I eye him steadily. “Promise me he’ll be happy. Promise me our sacrifice won’t be for nothing.”

He meets my gaze, and I see the truth in his eyes when he replies, “I promise he’ll be happy. Your sacrifice won’t be in vain.”

I nod and turn away to stare out the window. Sam is gone. Cahir’s promise is all I have now. I’ll be gone for a long time. I’ve done what I can to prepare, including ensuring that my and Beau’s company will survive without me.

Beau isn’t exactly thrilled with me, but I can’t do much about that. He’s a great friend, and I understand where he’s coming from and why he’s upset.

Maybe one day, I’ll return to take my place. Until then, Beau will run the business with me in the background.

Taking a tissue from the box on the corner of my desk, I dry my tears, blow my nose, and pick up my bag with my computer. “Okay. Fill me in on what’s going to happen from today.”

Cahir takes my bag and explains what my life will look like for the next few years.

“We’ll go to Scotland to complete your training before you go undercover with the traffickers.

You’ll be handling their accounts, and as a forensic accountant, we hope you can feed information back for us. We’ll take it from there.”

I nod, and Cahir continues.

“We’ll start you at the smaller setups. This will allow you to gain their trust and establish a trustworthy reputation before we put you in with the big players.

You won’t be expected to gather significant information from the smaller traffickers as we already have them under constant surveillance, but it will be valuable experience. ”

“You’ll continue your physical training as well as firearms and hand-to-hand combat with Cai,” Cahir continues.

“It won’t be a quick process. It will take time because it involves a lot of moving parts, and we’re sticking to what Silas has seen.

Eventually, you’ll infiltrate the ringleaders in Felixstowe.

For now, take the time you need to grieve for Sam and the life you’d thought you’d have.

If I could spare you the pain, I would.”

I believe him—that he would spare me the pain if he could. Cahir helps me into his vehicle; my bags are already in the back. I’m not sure where his brothers are, but Cahir was the only one here this morning after I received the phone call.

No one is around to see me leave. Everything has gone according to plan, despite the plans being made many years ago when Cahir first approached me to take on this job.

As the years passed, I thought things had changed, that it was safe to continue with my life. It was why I gave Sam a chance.

I should have called Cahir to check because fate had other ideas and royally screwed me over. I had one night with the man I hoped to spend the rest of my life with before I broke us.

And I did break us. Of that, I have no doubt.

I wipe away another tear that escapes and winds its way down my cheek as we leave Feannag Village, the only home I’ve ever known.

Cahir continues to fill me in on what to expect over the next few years.

I think he hopes to take my mind off my aching heart.

I don’t have it in me to tell him it’s not working.

It’s a lot to take in, but I’ve been training for years for this exact reason, knowing my skills will keep me alive.

I stay awake for as long as I can, but eventually, I fall asleep, soothed by the continuous whir of the wheels on the tarmac. When I wake up, maybe this will all be a nightmare and I’ll still be wrapped in Sam’s arms.

Instead, I woke to the car jostling down a bumpy road and an ominous rumble of thunder. Lightning illuminates the sky in flashes, revealing snapshots of what can only be described as a castle hidden in the hills. This must be where the Cursed Skulls called home.

Silas is there to meet us. He opens my door and pulls me into his arms. I thought I’d finished crying, but as soon as he enfolds me in his fatherly embrace, I break down again.

“Shhh, little one. It’s going to be okay,” he rumbles, picking me up and carrying me up the steps and into the warmth of their home. My home now for who knows how long.

***

It takes months for the numbness to wear off. By then, I’ve learned to hide my emotions or at least fake them when I need to. Losing Sam broke something in me, something I’m not sure I’ll ever get back.

When the Skulls send me on my first assignment, I shut my emotions down completely. I want nothing to touch me because I’m not sure I’ll survive another heartbreak.

Working undercover is a whole new learning curve for me, but I find I love it. I like not being myself; it’s freeing to play someone else, even if only for a short time.

Then I get the call from Cahir that I’m being moved; they’ve got me into the accounts of the traffickers we’ve been following for years. We needed an in to gather intel but hadn’t found one until now.

This is what I’ve been working towards for years.

It’s the assignment Silas predicted all those years ago, the one that changed the trajectory of my life. The one I hope makes all my sacrifices worth it.

I never in a million years realised how much it would change my life.