Chapter 4
BELLA
Living with Copper is enlightening.
I knew that Cahir and Silas wouldn’t choose an arsehole, but I was a little apprehensive about living alone with a stranger. I think any woman would be a little concerned, especially as we would be sharing such close quarters.
But my worries were for nothing because sharing a place with Copper is simple.
I love getting to know him. He never holds back about his family, how much he loves them, and how hard it is being away from them.
I know how he feels. My family didn’t understand why I left, and I couldn’t explain my reasons to them.
I hate not having my mum, dad, and brothers around me. I’ve always been able to lean on them. Hopefully, they’ll forgive me.
Copper and I work hard to maintain our fitness. Not once does he complain in training when I put him on his arse. He simply laughs and has me show him how I did it. He’s a quick learner.
When I notice that Copper is holding back because he’s afraid he’ll hurt me, I reach out to Cahir to find us a gym like Crawan—the gym owned by my family and the Crow MC.
Cahir sends me a name, and we go to have a look. I know it’s the right choice when Copper lights up after his first fight. I’m not sure what it says about me, but I like seeing him happy.
From Monday to Friday, we work out hard. On Friday evenings, we watch films until late because Saturdays are slow days. We can’t go to the gym until four in the afternoon because they run competitions in the morning. That suits us, so we always have a lazy Saturday.
On Sundays, we clean the flat and shop for groceries like any other young couple. I spend Sunday afternoons bulk cooking for the week. Copper always tries to help. Even though he’s shit in the kitchen, he’s great at cutting and dicing, so he does that while I cook.
The longer we spend together, the more I enjoy his company.
We slip into a friendship with ease, and I feel like I can tell him anything.
He’s probably the only person who knows my pain after I confess during one of our Friday film nights.
He’s quiet when I tell him what I did to Sam.
I keep my head down because I’m so ashamed and don’t want to see the disgust on his face.
Instead, he tilts my head up, so I have to look directly into his eyes and says, “You’ve nothing to be ashamed of, Bee.
You did what you did for a good reason. It sucks that you both got hurt, and I hate that you blame yourself, but you need to forgive yourself, sweetheart.
From what you’ve told me, Sam has moved on and is happy with his Old Lady.
” He pauses to press a kiss to the top of my head.
“You need to forgive yourself. You can’t heal until you do. ”
Afterwards, he holds me while I cry. I shouldn’t accept his comfort, but I enjoy being in his arms. His words stay with me, and I know what I have to do. I need to go to Sam and Ally’s wedding. I need to put my past to rest. Copper is right; I’ll never be able to move on until I do.
The truth is, Copper makes me feel safe. He never pushes for more than I’m willing to give. It would be so easy to slip into a sexual relationship with him, but I don’t want to ruin what we have.
Work keeps me focused and motivated. I’m finally dealing with larger accounts—those set up to launder money.
It’s easy to identify dummy accounts because they contain information based on an outdated system.
Newer accounts are digital. I notice the discrepancies straight away, and like a good little employee, I take them to my direct supervisor.
I hate Alan Chivers on sight. He’s smarmy, oily, and hits on all the female employees.
Picking up the ledger, I walk towards his office, noticing one of my female colleagues grimacing as I pass.
“He’s extra handsy today,” she warns.
I nod in thanks for the warning before knocking on Alan’s door.
He insists on keeping it closed whenever a woman is inside, claiming it’s to protect confidential client conversations.
We all know the truth; it gives him the freedom to grope us whenever he wants.
I’m convinced he has dirt on half the staff because if anyone ever reported him, HR would have a full-blown scandal on their hands.
Usually, we make sure to stay near the door whenever we’re forced into his office alone.
Unfortunately, today isn’t one of those days.
“Come in,” Alan calls through the closed door.
I do as he says, holding up the ledger. “Can I show you something?”
“Ah, Bee.” He grins, his bright white teeth a beacon in the dim office. He waves me over. “Of course, my dear.”
I approach his desk and place the ledger on it, staying as far away from him as possible. Placing my finger on the discrepancy, I say, “I found this, but I think it’s a mistake.”
For once, Alan doesn’t attempt to touch me. He leans back in his chair and studies me instead. “Don’t worry about it. I know what it is. If you find anything like this in the future, make a note and bring it to me. I’ll fix it.”
Playing dumb, I nod. “Are you sure? It’s a lot of extra work for you.”
“I’m sure.”
“Of course,” I reply, picking up the ledger. I hold it to my chest, grateful that he hasn’t ogled me for once.
Turning around, I walk towards the door. My hand is on the handle when he says my name.
“Bee.”
I look over my shoulder to find him assessing me shrewdly.
“You’ve caught the attention of our bosses if you’re working on those ledgers. Be sure to bring me those numbers at the end of each day.”
“Of course,” I reply, opening the door.
My brain works overtime as I return to my desk. I know they’re not accounting numbers; they don’t fit. They look like bank account references.
I make a list for Alan and another for Cahir. I don’t have the resources to discover which banks they belong to, but Cahir does. He’ll be able to trace the money, which will hopefully lead to the traffickers.
It’s a long, drawn-out process that always leaves me feeling like I haven’t done enough. But this isn’t a quick game; it takes time to build trust and gain access to the right documents. The people we’re dealing with aren’t stupid. They’ve been running their racket ring for a long time.
Needing to get out of the office for a bit, I call Copper. Aware of listening ears, I keep the conversation light and fluffy. Besides, I know it amuses him when I play the role of perfect girlfriend, and I like making him laugh.
“Hiya, Sugar,” I greet him when he picks up.
His rumble of laughter warms my stomach. I know our nicknames are silly, but they’re ours.
It started as a joke when he called me beautiful as he kissed me goodbye one morning.
I wrinkled my nose at the endearment, not because I hated it, but because I no longer felt beautiful.
Copper thought I didn’t like it, so he started our silly game where he chose ridiculous endearments just to get a reaction.
When he jokingly called me Spice, I didn’t wrinkle my nose.
I loved it. It wasn’t something I’d heard others call their women.
Not that I was his woman. It was all in fun, but somehow it stuck.
“What can I do for you, Bee?” Copper asks.
He’s never hidden that he worries about my working undercover here. He calls often to check in and drags me out for lunch when he thinks I need a breather. This isn’t the first time I’ve called to get together, but it isn’t usual for me to call.
We set a time to meet, and I know I’ll get to ride on his sled. And today, I need the freedom of being on the back of a motorcycle. I didn’t realise how much I missed it until riding wasn’t a part of my life anymore. Copper always makes time to take me when I need that escape.
Warmth fills me when he agrees straight away, like I knew he would. I can’t help but let him know how much he means to me before he ends the call.
“Coop?”
“I’m here, Bee,” he replies in his gravelly voice.
And he is. He’s always here. Building me up, comforting me when I don’t know I need it, and making sure I know that I’m worthy of being his friend.
I blink hard as emotions overwhelm me. “Thank you for being you.”
I end the call before I blurt anything else about how much I appreciate him. Because I do. He’s become my best friend.
The rest of the morning drags, but I make a note of the discrepancies and drop them off in Alan’s office before I leave for lunch.
The sun is shining, and the day is warm as I walk to my car. I lift my face to the sky and breathe deeply. If it weren’t for the nature of my work, it would be a perfect summer day.
It doesn’t take long to exit the car park through security. I wave my badge at the guard, who presses a button to let me out. I wave and give him a smile that falls from my face as I drive to Copper’s workplace.
He’s waiting for me outside, his face raised to the sun, enjoying the heat of the day. I’m always struck by how attractive he is, yet he doesn’t seem to know it. I bite back a laugh as a woman walks past him and slams into a lamppost before she catches herself.
Driving into the car park, I find a space near his bike.
My door opens before I’ve switched off my car.
I look up into Copper’s green eyes, and my belly flutters a little when I see his crooked grin as he holds out his hand to help me out.
I step out of the car, and he pulls me into his arms. I sink into his embrace, relaxing for the first time since I left him this morning.
Resting my head against his chest, I wrap my arms around his waist and gently squeeze him.
“Everything okay, Spice?” His voice rumbles under my ear.
“It is now.”
He presses his lips to the top of my head. “Want to go for a ride?”
Tilting my head back, I rest my chin on his chest as I look up at him. “Please.”
With his big hands cupping my cheeks, he studies me. I can see the worry on his face.
Lifting my hand, I laid it against his cheek. “I’m okay,” I reassure him. “I found something in the accounts, and we need to get it to Cahir. But that can wait. Take me for a ride and lunch first. I want to spend the next hour not thinking.”
He presses his lips to my forehead and steps back, picking my helmet up from the seat of his bike and settling it on my head before putting his on.
Ten minutes later, we pull up at our favourite park and buy lunch from the sandwich van. As we sit on the grass near the small pond eating our sandwiches, I realise Copper and I have favourite things that we do together.
It hits me then. I can’t lose this man. I wouldn’t know what to do if anything were to happen to him.
Finishing up my sandwich, I turn towards Copper. “Will you take me to the wedding tomorrow?”
Copper looks at me in surprise. “Come again?”
I laugh. “I thought about what you said. About my not healing until I put the past to rest. Sam and Ally are getting married tomorrow, and I’d like to put my past behind me. Because you were right, I won’t move on until I do.”
I stop for a minute and lean my head against his shoulder before continuing.
“I want to make my peace with it because things are about to get into dangerous territory.” I hand him the paper I copied the account details onto.
“Can you get those to Cahir for me, please? If they follow the money, it should lead them to the next couple of shipments.”
“Fuck,” Copper mutters, taking the paper and slipping it into his pocket. “I knew it was going to happen, but I can’t lie, I’m fucking scared shitless for you in that building by yourself.”
I’m scared, too, but I’ve been in this position several times before, and I know that Cahir and the rest of the Skulls will do what they can to make sure that nothing happens to us. Still, they’re not omnipotent, and unforeseen things happen sometimes. That’s why they insist we train so much.
“Would you wear a tracker?” Copper asks suddenly.
Surprised by the question, I look up into his green eyes. His worry about me is evident in his gaze. “Would it make you feel better?”
He nods. “Yes.”
“Okay, as long as it’s something that’s easily concealed, I’ll wear it.”
He sighs with relief, and the tension eases from his shoulders. “Thank you.”
“No problem. Thank you for worrying, but try to relax, or you’ll get an ulcer. This is only the start.”
He chuckles and presses his cheek to the top of my head where it rests on his shoulder. “I’ll try, but I can’t promise not to worry. You mean a lot to me. I’ll speak to Coal and have Thea work on a tracker for you.”
My heart fills with something I’ve never felt before. Maybe it’s the situation we’re in, or maybe it’s just who he is, but I find myself thinking about him at odd times throughout the day. I know he worries about me, but I worry about him, too. My employer knows who he is.
“Get Thea to make you one, too,” I tell him. “You’re also in danger.”
“I’ll get it sorted,” he assures me. “And I’ll take you to the wedding this weekend. I’m always here for you, Bella. I hope you know that.”
My throat tightens with emotions I haven’t felt in years. Oh, this man! I’m not sure how I got lucky enough to have him in my life, but I’m so thankful he is.
“Thank you,” I whisper, swiping a finger under my eye and clearing my throat. “I’d best get back to work.”
Copper stands and holds his hand out to help me off the grass. I take it and don’t let go all the way back to his sled. The warmth of his palm seeping into mine makes me feel safe and wanted.
I carry that comfort through the rest of the day, and it’s what gets me through the weekend.