Chapter 28 Lightened Truths #2
“About how badly I do not want to let you go now that I have you all to myself. How, the night before last was… beyond the words I have and I regret ever leaving our spot to continue on. I was thinking about how I almost lost you and how I do not think I can handle that ever happening again, especially since,” I hiss, “I almost never got to tell you this. And, Julia, I am thinking about how I am still taking you to the encampment as per my promise, despite everything that I am feeling, and despite the fact that every inch that we get closer makessss me want to steal you away. And worst of all, I am thinking about how I have no place to steal you to!” I snarl and look around wildly, swinging my hand outward.
She grabs my hand and pulls it to her. I stiffen before wrapping my fingers over hers.
“First off, thank you for keeping your promise about still taking me to the encampment but, Krellix, you can’t blame yourself for what happened.
It’s clear you got Olivia and the others to safety, right?
And that’s all that matters. And you wouldn’t steal me away against my will, you’re just feeling stressed.
This—” she gestures around us “—has all been stressful. I know you care about me and I… I care deeply about you too…”
“You matter. You matter the most to me and I almost lost you.”
Julia winces and I do not think it is because of her throat this time. But I am still floored. Though I already knew she cares about me in return, to hear her speak it aloud…
Her gaze finds mine and she twines her fingers with my own. “You say you don’t want a bride…”
“—I do not.”
“But if you had a nest? Would it be different?”
I hiss and search her eyes, wanting to know her meaning outright.
“Hissing is not an answer. If you had a nest, would it be different? You harp about it enough.”
“Yessss. If I had a nest, and some place safe to bring you home to, like the home Zaku has, I would have claimed you months ago.”
She turns her face away and lets go of my hand, frowning down at the grass. “Yeah… I’m beginning to realize that. Is that why you… why it seemed you were staying… away?”
She noticed? “Yessss. Had I known word had gotten out and more nagas had begun to show up at Zaku’s,” I hiss again, “I would have come back sooner and not have waited to be summoned by his orb.”
“You were summoned? That’s why you were there? Daisy didn’t know… I didn’t know what brought you back.”
I nod. “Zaku sent an orb to one of the places I stake out, an overlook of this forest west of here. I know to keep my eye out for them.”
She lifts her hand and brushes her fingers through the ends of her hair. “Yeah, but why did Zaku summon you? Was it because of Sada?”
Watching her fingers idly move, I shake my head. “No…” Though it became about him. “Another naga that we thought lost, a Cottonmouth, Syasku, had returned with several humans. They were searching for Azsote.”
I tell her everything Zaku shared with me from his chance meeting with Syasku and the humans he accompanied. She seems surprised but not shocked by my recounting of the Cottonmouth’s ordeal on their home ship, especially when it comes to their alpha’s—their ship’s captain’s—response.
When the tale is complete, Julia sighs. “I wish… you had told me this sooner. It explains a lot of what… the others shared. I can’t believe the rebels in the dregs shut down a reactor.
” Her voice becomes clearer and less gravelly as she talks.
“Damn… That’s ballsy.” She runs her hands over her face.
“No wonder the Dreadnaut blew up… Damn. Damn.”
Silent, I wait as she stares off into the growing shadows of evening, deep in contemplation.
Her mouth tightens with strain before a wrinkle forms between her eyes and they flick to her uniform jacket.
The longer I watch her, the more the pressure in my slit grows, reminding me of my very achy, hard appendage tucked inside.
So far it has been manageable but the longer we are alone and her warmth and scent washes over me, the more I want her closer to me in all ways.
When she finally looks back at me, my heart is pounding and my hands are clenched.
“You would’ve made me your bride?” she whispers.
Taken aback by her return to this subject, my eyes roam her tired face, trying to read what is on her mind.
Does she… want to be my bride? “I would have done everything to convince you that you belonged with me and the rest of the Copperheads.” If things had been different…
“Why not… ask me?” she asks, the furrow in her brow deepening. “Ask me now. Forget everything. Forget your nest and everything else and just ask.”
I scoff and turn away; I refuse to believe she wants me to actually ask her and put her in that position.
Why would she? I have nothing I can give her, nowhere truly safe for us to go.
I will not give myself hope and think she does not care about these things.
I know she does. Everyone does. “You know why I will not.”
She stares at me for a fraught moment before drawing away, some ineffable energy leaving her.
“I… see.” She zips up her bag, lying it flat on the grass.
“If that’s the case, I think I’m going to get some rest. It’s been…
I’m really tired and my throat hurts.” Turning her back on me, she lies down on her side and rests her head on her pack.
I sit back, thinking she is excusing herself from my company because I have hurt her, though I do not know how, when she suddenly peers over her shoulder.
“You did get Olivia and the others to the encampment right?” she asks with a quiet intake of air.
Giving into temptation, I sweep a strand of her wavy hair off her cheek. “I did.”
She pushes my hand away. “Good. Good…” She turns back around. “We’ll get to the encampment tomorrow then.” Settling onto her side, she pillows her head on her bag again. “And this… thing between us… will come to an end. Our deal comes to its end.”
The end… My stomach churns.
No longer able to see her face, I frown down at her. “Yessss.”
But she will be safe. Among her humans, behind a barricade, and away from all the beings and dangers of the forest that could hurt her. That is what she wants… That is the deal we made…
She will also be away, out of my reach.
Despite my thoughts and my riotous emotions, I lean on my side behind her and wrap my arm over her. She goes tense before relaxing into my embrace and, shifting closer against her, I offer her the shelter and protection of my body. After all, I cannot offer her much else.
This will have to be enough.