Chapter Twenty-Six
Wendy
It's the second week of January, Atlas' first weekend visitation with the boys.
And Emmet just called me saying that Diane's appendix burst.
"Could you bring the boys right to the garage? I already called Atlas. He's really looking forward to this weekend, sweetheart."
I can't help but smile at that.
Thoughts of this weekend were bittersweet for me. I was excited for the boys to spend time with their Dad, to start rebuilding, but... I was going to miss them so much.
Then I thought about this being our future, just weekend and holiday drop offs, missing out on half of my children's lives. I was trying not to fixate on it so much, and now there's a deviation in the plan that's throwing me off.
"Of course," I agree easily, already walking out to my car after my shift at Mabel's. "Do you guys need anything?"
"No, we're fine," Emmett assures me. "Thank you, though."
"Give Diane my love," I say before we hang up and I head toward the boy’s schools to pick them up.
"I thought Mom-Mom was picking us up," Liam says, shoving his bag in the back and giving his brother a high five.
"Pop had to take her to the hospital—she's okay,” I assure both of them when they look worried. “Her appendix burst, so they had to remove it. She'll be there overnight, but she's fine."
Liam frowns, "So, who's going to watch us?"
I shoot him a look because he knows who's going to watch him; he just hasn't been looking forward to it.
With his grandparents as a buffer, Liam was more willing to spend the weekend there. Noah was nervous, but I think he’s growing curious about his dad. Liam will be harder to reach… probably because he and Atlas are so alike.
Liam huffs as Noah asks, "Dad?"
"Yeah, I'm going to drop you guys off at the garage, and your Daddy will bring you home. Isn't that fun—you guys haven't been to the garage in a while," I smile, trying to turn this into a positive.
"Yeah, ever since that became his new home," Liam mutters, not low enough for me not to catch.
"Liam," I plead, and he sighs, before nodding his head. "I would like for you to try. You remember what Dr. Stone says—you don't owe him forgiveness, and you're not responsible for repairing the relationship. Neither of you are," I say, glancing back into the mirror at Noah, who looks more open.
"Trying doesn't mean forgiving him, either. I think you deserve to be heard, though, if you want to speak to him about it."
Liam crosses his arms, "What happens when he disappears again?"
That's a fair question. I know that despite his angry tone, it's derived from fear—the same fear that runs through my mind every day.
What happens if this is all temporary?
What if Atlas pulls the rug out from under us again?
And the fact of the matter is that he could. He might. He might stumble, he might fall, but knowing what I know now, I won't leave him alone to heal.
What Atlas told me changes things. He didn't pull away from me because he doesn't love me anymore; he pulled away because he was scared. But I'm brave. I can be brave enough for the both of us. I can be strong enough for the both of us.
Even if we don’t stay married.
"He might," I acknowledge, and see Liam tense out of the corner of my eye.
"I can't promise he's not going to mess up again, Liam, as much as I can't promise that I'm not going to mess up. We're human, we're going to make mistakes," I tell him, and Liam frowns.
"But that doesn't mean you have to forgive those mistakes, especially if they really hurt you. If your Dad steps back again, then... we deal with it. Together. Okay?" I ask, glancing at Liam before I look at Noah in the mirror.
My youngest nods his head with a small smile while Liam's face twists, looking unsure.
"What if Dad gets like... depressed again?" He asks, his voice low.
"Adult feelings are not your responsibility," I tell him, though my heart is warming at that little flicker of care Liam let shine through. Just a little spark, but it's there. "But your Dad has people to support him. Your grandparents, your uncles, and me."
Liam nods and he's quiet for a long minute before he murmurs, "I'll try for you, Mama."
"Try for you, baby," I tell him, shaking my head. "You deserve it."
When I park at the garage next to Atlas' truck, I try to think back to the last time I was here, but honestly, I cannot remember.
Liam swings his gym bag full of clothes for the weekend, over his shoulder, squinting at the building I used to bring him to all the time when he was a baby.
I help Noah out of the car, grabbing his overnight bag as he puts his headphones around his neck.
Holding Noah's hand, we walk inside, but no one's at the front desk. It's four in the afternoon, and I know they take lunch a lot earlier than this, so I'm a little confused.
I walk toward the big window that shows the mechanics bays and see a couple of guys working but no Atlas. They keep glancing over to us, apparently wondering who we are.
Do they really not know? Does Atlas not even talk about us?
"Maybe he's in his office," I say to Liam, who shrugs, looking bored as he leans against the front desk.
Noah's eyes glance around curiously, just as they did when he was a baby and I'd bring him here. Muffled laughter drifts from the direction of the office, and Liam tenses as he glances down the hallway.
When I follow his gaze, I freeze. Through the windowed office door, I can see the back of a very long blonde head of hair tossed back in laughter.
Atlas' deep voice says something then, but I can't catch exactly what he says. He must be at his desk, blocked by her rather curvy form in a very tight pink sweater dress as she stands in front of him.
Her high-pitched, breathy voice giggles, "Atlas, you're so funny!"
I blink, my stomach dropping straight to the floor.
There has to be some explanation.
She's just an employee... laughing with my husband... alone in his office. Atlas told me... he told me...
Liam, unfortunately, doesn't have the restraint I'm desperately trying to hold onto.
My son moves, charging right into the office and shoving the door open so hard it bangs against the wall. I follow after him quickly, and see my husband and the blonde woman jump in surprise.
She whips around and—yeah, of course, she's gorgeous and younger than me. The woman I pictured while speaking to Imani stands before me as if I manifested her.
Atlas looks surprised, his face pale as he seems to register what this looks like, whatever it is.
You're separated, he's technically single, even though he looked like he was about to have a heart attack when I accidentally let him think I was dating someone.
We’re still married and that means something to me.
Atlas told me he wanted to earn back my love and trust, and I believe him. I’m placing my trust in him.
Unfortunately, before I can get control of this situation, my son ignites, months and months of bitterness reaching a breaking point.
"Hi, Dad!" Liam's voice is a snarl, his lip curled as he glances back and forth between his father and the blonde woman, who looks rather shocked at my son's words.
"Mama's just dropping us off... or should we just leave you and her alone?"