Chapter Twenty-Five
Ari was sitting on her own in the kitchen. Breakfast was slowly frying on the Aga and she was on her second tea, wondering for the umpteenth time if she had mice or twins in the larder. Or maybe it was the dogs? She seemed to be constantly writing new shopping lists. Flicking through a magazine she looked lovingly at some of the new wallpapers and wondered if it was too soon to start remodelling the house. Since she’d moved in, she’d pretty much left it how it was, and how it was, was dated. She’d started to bring the gardens back to work and Seb had implemented designs for some long flower borders and an arboretum. Now it was time to start thinking about breathing new life into the house as well. Just as she was wondering if Paddy was ever going to get up, she heard her calling out.
‘Morning. I’m in here! The boys have all gone over to their grandparents for the morning to give us time to catch up. I’m doing you a full English and we’ve got some Fig Rolls as well…’
Ari’s voice trailed off as Paddy who had wandered into the kitchen, suddenly held her hand over her mouth and ran out to the downstairs loo. Ari ran after her to find her in a familiar state of distress. Kneeling on the flagstones, Ari held her sister’s hair back and made soothing noises until Paddy stumbled back onto her feet, pushing herself up off the toilet bowl. Tearing off some loo roll, she wiped Paddy’s eyes and mouth and passed her a glass of water. At least one mystery had been solved.
‘Come on. Let’s fix you some warm lemon water and ginger biscuits. They were all I could manage in the morning when I was pregnant.’
Paddy came back into the kitchen and sat down gingerly, while Ari took the frying pan out of the kitchen and placed the contents in the dog bowls to their unalloyed joy.
Putting the biscuits on a plate, Ari poured some hot water over a sprig of rosemary and added a slice of lemon, placing them in front of her little sister, who looked up at her woefully.
‘That’s the first time I’ve been sick. Will I be sick again today?’
‘Sometimes. Or not again at all. Everyone’s different.’
Paddy sipped on the water. ‘How did you know?’
‘You know. Been there, done that.’ She took a sip of her tea and wondered how to proceed. She wanted to tell her her own news. They could celebrate together, but this was clearly at the root of her distress. ‘So let’s have it. What’s wrong? I honestly thought you’d be happy to be pregnant, but I don’t ever think I’ve seen you so miserable.’
Nibbling on the biscuit and sipping her drink Paddy began to detail the fake wedding that turned out to be real, the one-night stand that ended in pregnancy and her being the cause of a cancelled wedding.
She looked across at Ari. ‘I’m so sorry to have let you down. I’m so ashamed.’
Ariana recoiled in her chair and looked at her sister in alarm. Dashing around the table she gave Paddy a huge hug. ‘Don’t ever say anything so horrible to me ever again. You cannot, have not and never will, let me down.’
Now Paddy was crying as Ari continued, ‘and how can you be ashamed of a baby? And your baby will be the bonniest happiest baby that it will be the world’s honour to meet.’ Passing Paddy a napkin, she wiped her eyes and waited until she was a bit calmer. ‘Seriously. Why are you ashamed?’
‘Because I’ve ruined the wedding of two people who were in love. She called me a slut. He thinks I’m not worth the dirt on his feet and everyone was staring at me when she hit me.’
Ari had been nodding along making gentle sympathetic noises, but now she was on full guard dog mode. ‘Back up! Did you just say she hit you?’
Paddy revealed that horrible little scene as well. As she did so, Ari had jumped up and was grabbing her bag, keys and coat.
‘Right, in the car. Let’s go get an ultrasound and make sure baby wasn’t bounced around in there.’
‘But I’m fine. I feel, we feel fine.’ She gave Ari a small smile; it was the first time she had said ‘we’ and a wave of rightness settled over her. ‘Honestly, we’re fine.’
Ariana stopped and looked at Paddy, remembering in the past how Paddy would fight with her sisters, squeeze body lotion in their hair, burp into their milk, scream like a banshee, laugh like a fool, and now here she sat with a little serene smile of a Madonna. Still, Ari wasn’t going to take no for an answer.
‘Do you know what? You are probably right. You are going to learn to trust your body over the next few months. You and Baby are on an incredible journey that neither of you have been on before, and it’s going to be amazing. But please, please would you humour your big sis?’
Paddy waggled her head but agreed, and soon the girls were driving into the new medical centre in the nearby town.
***
Waiting in reception, Ari seemed to know everyone and was proudly introducing her sister to all and sundry. Paddy charmed the room with her wild red hair and beaming smile. As the nurse came out, she nodded as she saw the two women chatting together.
‘Well it’s easy to tell you two are sisters.’ Both girls laughed saying they weren’t that ugly, and joshing each other, they made it through to the treatment room.
As she settled down on the couch Paddy felt worried. What if the fall had damaged the baby and, in her na?veté, she hadn’t even realised? She couldn’t bear the thought that she might have let the little one down.
The nurse gave her hand a squeeze and smiled at her.
‘Come on then let’s have a look. How far along are you?’
As the nurse asked her lots of questions, Paddy had to focus on the answers until the nurse exclaimed, ‘Hello, little one.’
Paddy stared at the screen in wonder. What had been an abstract concept was now sleeping on the screen in front of her. She had no words but placed her fingers on the monitor. Letting out a big sigh she wished with all her might that Hal could be here with her so that they could see their child together for the first time. Maybe she should ask for a screen grab that she could give to him. God, he might not even want to know. Trying to distract herself from such an awful thought, she began focussing on the image again. Pointing at the screen Paddy asked if that meant the baby was a boy.
The nurse laughed. ‘That’s their arm! Do you want me to see if I can tell the sex?’
‘No!’ said Paddy in alarm.
Typical Paddy, thought Ari. She always loved surprises. Nick would have wanted to know immediately. Aster would somehow already know. The idea of Clem as a mother was too baffling to contemplate, and whilst she herself had wanted a surprise, Greg had asked the nurse, and then told Ari despite her telling him she didn’t want to know.
‘Why are you sighing?’ asked Paddy. ‘What’s wrong?’ Her voice began to rise in alarm. ‘Is something wrong?’
‘No sorry. Just me, thinking dumb thoughts.’
A shadow passed over Paddy’s face.
‘I know. I wish Mum was here too.’
Paddy squeezed Ari’s hand and then, recovering themselves, they thanked the nurse, who promptly gave Paddy a list as long as her arm and asked if she was registered at the practice.
‘Do you know I haven’t even thought that far ahead.’
‘Where are you registered then? I’ll add this visit to your notes.’
There was a silence as Paddy panicked. ‘Nowhere? I just, I mean, it’s all been so sudden.’ Overwhelmed by fear she tailed off.
The nurse paused, ready to chide her and then looked at how bereft she was and stopped. This wasn’t a na?ve teenager, this was a terrified young woman who was not yet facing reality.
‘Was this your first scan?’
Paddy nodded.
‘Right then. Let’s do it properly and take some measurements. May as well do it all now and put your mind at rest. We’ll also take some bloods. But from where I’m standing, both mother and baby look to be doing fine. Doesn’t hurt to have it in writing though, does it?’
Paddy felt limp with relief. In her heart she knew she had been avoiding the issue but she had been at a loss as to what to do. She had been desperate to be a mother. Growing up, she was the sister surrounded by dollies and tea parties. Reality was not proving to be as simple. And dammit, she hadn’t foreseen being single.
‘When will I start looking pregnant? I still look really flat; I’m about fourteen weeks, I thought I’d be showing by now?’
The nurse looked at her notes. ‘Well, you’re tall and baby is in a tilted position which means you may be flat for quite a while yet, maybe even until you give birth. Trust me. You don’t want to be in any hurry for the baby to shift. I looked like a whale from month four.’
Ari nodded. ‘Do you remember I looked like I was a sumo wrestler?’
‘As if,’ joshed Paddy, ‘besides you were having twins. Oh God,’ she turned to the nurse, her eyes wide.
‘No, you’re fine. There was just the one in there but now I know there are twins in the family I’ll have another look.’
The nurse started with her second examination and started to chat to Paddy about the local maternity provisions and told her to investigate the Cornish options as well. ‘I’ve heard they have great facilities down there, so wherever you decide to have this little one, you’ll be in very safe hands.’
‘Isn’t it a bit soon to start thinking about it?’ Paddy said doubtfully.
‘Hardly. You are pregnant now. You may want help during your pregnancy, plus you can join some of the antenatal classes if you want to meet other women in the same stage. Lots of new mums find this a great way to find new friends and support.’
Paddy looked concerned. She didn’t have a great opinion of social services. Ante-natal classes just sounded like a way for people to snoop on her and judge her. She still remembered with terror, the day Clem and Ari barricaded the house to prevent the Social removing the girls into foster care.
‘I think I can manage on my own.’
The nurse looked at her. ‘Well, you’d better start thinking about it. Baby is on a timetable and you need to be ready, one way or the other.’
Finally, once she was happy, she had got all the measurements she could, she told Paddy she would fast track the bloods and phone her with the results. As they got into the car Paddy burst into tears, and Ari passed her a tissue as she drove out of the car park.
‘I think for me, the worst of it was the mood swings, even though I was vomiting all the time. I hated the sudden surge of fury or weeping for no apparent reason.’
They drove on in silence until Paddy had stopped crying and was leaning her head on the window, looking at the passing countryside.
‘Paddy?’
‘Yes?’
‘Don’t worry about the Social,’ Ari’s voice broke as her throat choked up. ‘They can’t touch us now.’
Suddenly both girls were crying and Ari had to pull over as they hugged each other. The fear and pain of the teenage girls bubbled again to the surface.
‘We got through that together, we’ll get through this.’
Sensing a conversation about pregnancy and motherhood, and whether or not the father was going to be involved, might overwhelm Paddy at this point, Ari changed the topic.
‘So what about you? You went down to Cornwall to think about your career. Have you had a chance to think about it or have events overtaken you?’
‘I don’t know. You know I love photography and I’ve been doing loads of that down there. But something Nick said on the phone, though, made sense. Kensey House is an under-used resource. I don’t need to live anywhere that big, even if I have a hundred children.’
Ari snorted. ‘It’s not that big!’
‘No, positively a cottage compared to your place or Clem’s. But I wonder if we couldn’t turn it into a sort of holiday home for charities. City kids, hospice release, stuff like that? We could charge just enough to cover our costs. Heating, lighting, staff et cetera, but other than that the charity could use it for free for the week? Maybe set ten weeks aside for full paying business retreats, corporate awaydays. Maybe a week or two for the family? But otherwise let people who might properly benefit from it use it? What do you think?’
Ari smiled at Paddy. ‘Let me run it past the others but I can’t see a problem. I think it’s a lovely idea.’
Since becoming the Countess of Hiverton, Ariana had run her estate with a light touch. She was gradually bringing the whole business into the twenty-first century whilst maintaining family control. She was making few major changes until she got used to the mantle but she enjoyed discussing things with her sisters. All of them were stepping out into new territories and were aware of the massive financial responsibilities on their shoulders. How many people relied on them and how much influence they wielded.
Privately Ari thought that in another decade or two, if she handled things properly, they could be incredibly influential as a family. But for now she just needed to ensure that no one and nothing bankrupted the estate. Listening to Sebastian and his tales of upper-class woes had made her laugh, but she discovered that overnight you could lose the lot, just like if you were poor.
‘Now look, I have a suggestion, why don’t you move in here with us? At least until the baby arrives and you are back on your feet? You can run the Cornish project remotely?’
Paddy looked around the Norfolk countryside. She was so tempted, it was lovely here and she loved being with her family. ‘How about this? I’ll spend a bit more time here then head back to Cornwall and get on with the project. Then at seven months, I’ll come back. Would that be okay? I really want to make a success of Cornwall. I think it has loads of potential and the idea of being able to help out people who are desperate for a break is something that would make me very happy.’
Ari was thrilled. It sounded like a brilliant solution. It gave time for Paddy to prove to herself that she could successfully transition away from being a model and then Ari would have her nearby as things became tougher. She couldn’t bear to think of Paddy bringing up a baby on her own at the other end of the country.
‘What are you going to do about the marriage?’ Ari asked tentatively and watched with concern as her sister’s face clouded with pain again.
‘I have no idea, I asked Duncan to forward the paperwork to Cornwall, so I’ll just sign it when I get back there. It’s not like we can get annulled now,’ she said smiling sadly as she placed her hand over her tummy, ‘so I suppose we’ll have to arrange a divorce instead. Look, forget it for now. I just want to focus on Baby and happy thoughts.’
Ari looked thoughtfully at Paddy, she seemed in no rush to terminate this marriage and Ari wondered what that might signify.
‘What does Duncan say?’
‘I don’t know. I can’t bring myself to speak to him. I just asked him to give me some space and I’ve blocked his texts.’
‘That’s extreme?’ said Ari carefully.
‘I know but I’m just so embarrassed.’ Tears began to well up again and she sniffed miserably.
Deciding that now was not the time for further interrogations she gave her sister a hug and a big grin.
‘You’re on! Let’s go and have some fizzy water to celebrate. I have some news as well.’
Paddy looked at her questioningly and Ari couldn’t keep it a secret any longer.
‘I’m pregnant as well!’
Laughing both girls hugged again and Paddy knew she had made the right choice in coming home.