Chapter Thirty-Three
Hal put the letter down and looked out of the breakfast window. The contents seemed a gift from heaven and he wanted to pause and take in the enormity of the offer.
His father and Odette walked in and he passed the letter to his father. ‘Do you know the de Foixes? The Countess Hiverton?’
James was silent as he read the letter, and Odette poured them both a cup of tea asking Hal what was happening. He was dumbstruck. ‘It seems the Hiverton Estate has heard of my charity’s situation and have offered Kensey House as a possible venue for respite holidays. According to the letter, if I’m agreeable, I can meet with one of the family to discuss it, a Lady Patricia de Foix. Do you know her?’
Odette shook her head. Growing up in France she had fewer connections with the English titled classes than her predecessor, Eleanor, did. ‘Is that where you did that filming back in winter? I don’t think I know anyone over on that side of Cornwall. James? Do you know them?’
James looked up. ‘Not much; of course Kensey House and Tregiskey village have been in their hands for centuries. It’s been run well but remotely and I don’t think the last generations had much to do with Cornwall. There was some sort of tragedy or scandal and I remember wondering at the time if the family would flounder, but it seems they had more backbone than I gave them credit for.
Odette turned to Hal. ‘So what does this mean?’
Hal took a deep breath, his voice imperceptibly shaking with relief. ‘It means that frightened teenagers can sleep in clean beds and play by the seaside. It means they can be safe and restart their lives.’ He paused and looked up at Odette, an idiotic grin plastered across his face. ‘It’s hope, Odette.’ Throwing his arms around her he lifted her up and spun her around laughing. ‘It means hope!’
***
Paddy nervously tugged on her skirt. This was her second official role representing the family and she wanted to make sure she gave a good impersonation, her meeting in the village pub had been shaky. Today, she was going to project confidence and calm. So much had changed in those months and she barely recognised the girl she was back then.
Ari had been coaching her about confidence. ‘No one is going to think you’re a fraud. Don’t be silly. Besides, you are offering something they desperately need. Nick vouched for this chap. Said he was deserving. Doesn’t sound like the sort who will look down on you.’
Paddy was nervous and she knew it. Everyone knew Holly McDonald; people wanted her, she was in demand, they knew what to expect and she knew how to behave. Plus she very rarely had to talk. Lady Patricia was a very different creature. She’d called Clem, who was phased by nothing and no one, for advice.
‘Be you. One hundred per cent Paddy. Lady Patricia will have to mould herself around you. If you try and do it the other way, you will always feel like an impostor.’
‘But look at Ari, she’s incredible at playing a countess.’
Clem scoffed at her down the phone. ‘Seriously, Paddy, when wasn’t Ari in charge? When wasn’t she the most important person in the room? The title means nothing to her. She could be Empress Ariana. She’d still be the same. And so will you, Paddy. Don’t let Lady Patricia be anyone else.’
She began pacing and wanted to go to the loo again. Why had no one told her that being pregnant made you an absolute slave to your bladder? Typically, that was the moment she heard a car pull up into the drive. With a groan she metaphorically crossed her legs and opened the front door and looked out in horror.
***
As Hal drove up towards Kensey he couldn’t help but think back to the winter and to Paddy. The drive had been lined with trailers and camera crew, directions were being shouted out in German. The very air had been alive with promise and he had been very hungover. But then he had walked into that chapel and his heart had damn near stopped beating. A ray of light was shining down through the blue stained-glass window on to a vision drinking water. Her face was tipped up into the light and her white gown shone blue. As she looked his way she grinned and put her finger on her lips and hid the bottle in the pleats of her gown. Seconds later a make-up artist walked past her and then tutted and whipped out some lurid lipstick, and retouched her face. The bride had raised her eyebrows at Hal and was then called over to the director. At that moment Hal just wanted to follow her. To the other side of the chapel. To the ends of the earth. To a life together. Well, that hadn’t turned out very well, had it? Maybe through his actions he could show her he wasn’t the total tool she seemed to think he was.
He parked the car and, grabbing his attaché case with his proposals, he headed towards the front door. As the door opened, time seemed to slow. A young woman stepped out and Hal stared at Paddy in amazement, drinking in the sight of her like a man lost in the desert glimpsing an oasis. Months of longing hit him like a tidal wave, the force of it staggering. Love and yearning and desperation and hope and fear churned inside him, an emotional maelstrom that left him momentarily breathless. It only took a second for him to notice she was staring at him too - but where he was dazzled, she looked horrified. The flicker of hope that had ignited in his chest sputtered out.
”Are you Henry Fawkes. Founder of City and Sea?” Her voice was strained, her expression shuttered.
”Henry Ferguson Yes. I”m here to meet Lady Patricia de Foix?” He managed to get the words out around the lump in his throat. The e-mail had said Fawkes not Ferguson. He saw the confusion that flickered across her face before she collected herself.’
Let”s head to the dining room,” she said tightly. He couldn”t take his eyes off her as he followed her inside, his mind whirling. Was she a secretary? A personal assistant? Was that why she had been here? But no she was a model, not someone”s assistant. Were they friends? Her clothes were loose and he couldn”t tell if she was pregnant or not. Had she kept it? Had she lost it? Both options worried him. Was she still pregnant? The questions scalded his throat but he swallowed them back. As they settled down, she broke his train of thought.
‘Right, some ground rules. We are here today to discuss you using our home as a location for your charity. That is all we will discuss. I don’t wish to hear a single word of your private life. I am very sorry for my role in it, but what’s done is done. I’m going to bring up the baby without anything from you. If you want to visit that will be fine, I will not hinder your access in anyway but I will never ask you for anything.’ As she spoke, she ticked the points off her fingers.
Hal’s whole body slumped in relief, she was still pregnant. He wanted to hug her.
Paddy watched as he relaxed and then smiled at her. How pleased he was to have her make no demands on him. She wanted to scream in pain at him. What had she expected? A declaration of love? A desire to stand by their child’s side throughout their life? Clem had told her to be herself, but herself was a romantic idiot with a breaking heart. And as it happened, a full bladder.
‘Excuse me. I’ll be back in a minute.’
Wiping away her tears she looked at herself in the mirror. She had better get out there and she had better be Lady Patricia; as Ari had suggested, she was going to lean on the role. God, she wished Nick was here. Over the years she had forced herself to lean on her sister less and less, but at times like this she just wanted to run back to the love and safety of her family.
As she came back into the room she saw Hal hadn’t sat down yet and was looking at her closely.
‘Are you okay? Can I get you anything?’ When she shook her head, he carried on. ‘So, have I misunderstood? Are you Lady Patricia de Foix, Paddy? I’m sorry if I’m not following things.’
She cleared her throat. ‘Yes, I am, but I don’t think that’s important right now, do you? As we are going to be working together, we shall have to agree to be professional. Yes? Once this is all up and running, I’ll be returning to Norfolk and a manager will be running this place.’
‘You’re not staying?’
She laughed and was bloody proud of herself for being able to. ‘No, why would I? There’s nothing for me here. Now, let me show you around the house and grounds and you can decide for yourself if you think it’s suitable.’ She wasn’t sure why she had said she wasn’t staying, but seeing him again had torn open her broken heart and she realised she had just been kidding herself. She may have had only a one-night stand with him but she had fallen in love. What a stupid cliché. But now she was determined that he wouldn’t see just how much he had broken her heart.
Hal had a thousand questions, none of which he could ask if he wanted to respect her wishes. As they walked around the house, he took notes and decided it would be perfect for the charity, although there may be a need to rearrange a few things. He suggested them to Paddy.
‘That should be fine. As I said, it’s a family home but it doesn’t get used much so we thought the idea of it having a dual purpose may work out well. Longer term we were thinking that some of the outer barns might work as additional accommodation. Maybe for courses.’
They were standing now outside the chapel of the house. It was connected to the house by a small private door for the family only. Anyone else visiting the chapel came in through its main outside door.
Hal thought about it and then decided he could ask this question without annoying her.
‘May I ask. Why didn’t you mention you owned Kensey when we first met?’
‘Was it important?’ Paddy was looking out over the garden. She had been studiously avoided eye contact for the entire meeting.
‘Well no but I rather assumed…’
Typical she thought. East End girl, East End accent, how could she possibly be the owner of Kensey House and a title? Now that he knew, did he like her more? Did it matter? With a curt reply she moved them away from the chapel.
‘Yes. Now these lawns might be nice for outdoor games? And there’s a large field over there which might be suitable for ball games or barbeques. I don’t know. Just ideas.’
‘I can see that. I think this will be perfect.’ It was clear Paddy wasn’t prepared to discuss their situation, so he tried to find out a bit more about her background. ‘Tell me. The woman I met in London, Nick Byrne, is she your sister? Is she married? And the Countess Hiverton, is she your mother? I’m sorry. I just don’t want to make any more assumptions.’
‘Do you want us all in neat little pigeonholes?’
‘No. I…’
Paddy shook her head. ‘I’m sorry that was rude of me. It is confusing, isn’t it?’ she gave him a small smile. ‘De Foix and Hiverton? Byrne and McDonald? Well let’s see. You know about me as Holly McDonald. Byrne is our father’s name. There are five of us by the way. Five sisters; Nick is my twin. Our parents died when I was fourteen. When our uncle, on mum’s side of the family, died last year, Ari, my eldest sister, inherited the entire estate and became the Countess of Hiverton. Mum’s maiden name was de Foix. Some of us girls are still jumping between the names until we decide what we’re happiest with. So I’m either Holly McDonald, Paddy Byrne or Lady Patricia de Foix, depending on what I’m doing that day. Happy?’
Happy was the last word Hal would use to describe himself. But what a story and what a change of circumstances. No wonder he hadn’t been able to reconcile her in his mind. Confident, shy, happy, timid. But now he was beginning to have a greater understanding of what must have driven her over the past ten years. In a moment of sudden clarity he knew he needed to move slowly. Insisting on making her answer his questions was the wrong way to try and win her around. At least now he knew who she actually was and how to find her. He had time, he could wait. The last few months had been awful but now he had hope. He decided to change tack.
‘Where does that drive go to?’
‘Private cottage. There won’t be any access to that whatsoever. Come on let’s look at the front of the house. There’s a gate down there that joins the lane down onto the beach and a great pub.’
Paddy”s spirits were beginning to flag; every time she found herself enjoying his company, she had to remind herself that he was married to Bianca. The sooner she left Cornwall the better. This was killing her.
”Now, have you seen everything? I don”t want to sound rude but I”m tired and want to have a rest.” The words felt like shards of glass in her throat but she forced them out.
Hal was instantly solicitous, concern etching his features. ”Can I get you anything? Make you a cup of tea?” He stepped towards her but she stepped back and he halted.
Declining, Paddy walked with him around to his car, each step heavy with regret. Despite his best intentions he was unable to stop himself from asking after her health and the baby”s.
Paddy felt a pang, touched by his concern even as she fought not to read too much into it. ‘Baby is very healthy. Mummy keeps throwing up at any time of the day, and peeing constantly, but Baby is just perfect. Thank you for asking.’
Their eyes met and held, the air between them thick with loss and longing. For a suspended moment it felt like they were the only two people in the world, the only two who mattered. Then Paddy tore her gaze away.
With a murmured goodbye, she hurried back indoors so he wouldn”t see her tears, closing the door behind her. She leaned back against it, a silent sob racking her body.
Hal walked slowly back to the car, sorrow and disappointment etched into every line of his body. He understood she wanted nothing to do with him, but he was going to show her that he would be the very best father. As he drove off, he dried his cheeks with the palm of his hand, grief a leaden weight in his stomach.
In the rearview mirror, he watched Kensey disappear from view, taking Paddy with it. He imagined her alone in that big house, managing on her own, and it was all he could do not to turn the car around and run back to her. What a sodding mess he had made of everything.