15. Chapter 14 Ginevra
My mother was asleep when I got home from the disastrous dinner with Soren’s family. I stood over her inert form, hands twitching with the need to shake her awake and yell at her for everything she hasn’t done. I stood there for five minutes, but she looked so peaceful that I finally just went to bed, only to toss and turn all night.
“Gin, honey, someone is at the door,” my mother calls, her voice groggy from waking up. I add the last of my red lipstick and rush to the door.
I open it to find a woman I don’t know standing on the other side. “Can I help you?”
“I’m Pippa Pasello’s new nurse,” the woman answers with a bright and cheerful smile on her face.
I suck on my cheek for a moment and look behind her. Soren is in my driveway, leaning against his car and waving at me. My heart leaps at the sight of him, but I ignore the strange flutter and focus on the fact that he’s crossing a line. I can take care of my mother. I don’t need a contract that dismisses me from helping.
“Excuse me.” I slip past her, closing the door.
I jog toward Soren, the ground freezing beneath my feet. “What are you doing?” I cross my arms, my hands running up and down on my skin. My feet run on the spot to keep them warmer.
He takes off his jacket, putting it around my shoulders. “You should have put on shoes to thank me.”
“Thank you?” Oh, this man drives me crazy, and yet, I want to kiss him for the extra help.
He points toward the door. “For the nurse. She came highly recommended.”
I lower my voice, “My mother hates strangers, and everything you or your family touch.”
“Naw, that’s just you. As for the stranger part, they’ll quickly be friends soon enough.”
“Why are you doing this?”
“The contract is very clear. I’m responsible for her care. This is what I’m doing. I never go back on my word, Ginevra.”
“When this goes wrong, I’m going to tell you I told you so.”
He grins at me. “I’m looking forward to it. Now hustle up, I have a meeting to get to after I drop you off at work.”
I turn back toward the house, calling over my shoulder, “I have my own ride.” I run back, my feet welcoming the warmth of the house.
“Come in, please.” I check my watch. I still have time to make it to work on time.
“I didn’t realize I’d have a nurse today, so I’m not prepared to show you around. Sorry about the mess.” My mouth turns down into a grimace. I’m stretched so thin it’s hard to do anything good these days. Having an extra pair of hands will come in so handy. Damn Soren for thinking of this sweet gesture.
The nurse waves me off. “No worries.” I point toward the living room.
“My mother loves sitting in her rocking chair and looking out the window.” I quickly show her the kitchen and tell her about the medications she takes.
I dread my mother’s reaction, and knowing I’m going to be late soon, I take the cowardly way out by not introducing them.
“She’s upstairs just waking up. Good luck,” I tell the nurse, slipping on my shoes and running out the door with my computer slung over my shoulder.
Soren is still where I left him. “Go away, Soren.” I hide the small grin that fights its way to the surface.
He chuckles, staying where he is, and I slam my car door, pretending to be annoyed.
The moment I step out of my car after work, I can hear screaming coming from inside our house. My shoulders immediately deflate. I’ve had a shit day and I was looking forward to putting on my headphones to drown out my thoughts with music.
I pause, looking at my house. The entire time I was at work, all I could think about was how am I going to work for a criminal lawyer while marrying a criminal. Nothing about that is ethical. I worked so hard to get this job, I don’t want to let it go.
I force myself to leave these thoughts at the door. I can’t be dealing with this while I’m dealing with my mother. I was praying my mother would be accepting of this nurse. I can’t understand why she wouldn’t be.
I walk in and my mother starts on me immediately. “Why has there been a stranger in our house all day? She’s refusing to leave.” My mother’s face is red with anger, her fragile body shaking as she points at me like I’m the enemy.
“She’s here to help, Mom. I can’t be here during the day. This is a good thing.” I step in to give my mother a hug, but she pushes me away. “Let’s take a seat and talk about this.” My voice is soft and soothing to help reassure her and calm her down.
She allows me to lead her to her rocking chair. “Did you have lunch today?” I ask.
“That woman is a horrible cook and forced me to swallow it all.” Oh, the dramatics. But she ate…
“Soren hired her. This is part of the contract of marriage. The one you signed and wanted for me.” I remind her.
“I did not sign on for a stranger in my house. Go call Soren right now and tell him to come and get her. She’s not wanted.”
“I already tried that.”
“You didn’t try hard enough. Go to his home and tell him again.” I stand up, my chest expanding as I try to think how best to deal with my mother.
I glance around me and find everything is in its place. The floors are vacuumed, the tables dusted. The house is spotless. I’m stunned. My eyes are wide as I do a small circle to make sure I’m seeing right. Tears want to fight their way through, but I blink them away. Our house has never looked like this. I’m floored. I send a silent thank you to Soren, and some of the stress I was holding on to floats away. I won’t have to hide in my room to forget about the disaster down here.
The smell of food cooking wafts down to us, and it smells divine. I’m starving, and this is such a welcome break. All my lists for things around the house are done. This nurse is amazing and Soren is the one to thank. This is the best gift anyone could give me.
“Oh, great, she’s cooked us super.” My mother sits back down, pouting like a small child. I’m never letting go of this nurse.
“I’ll go check on it.” I kiss my mother’s forehead, excited to eat something I didn’t cook.
Knowing my mother is being taken care of while I’m at work has me breathing easier. Each day, Soren is leaning against his car waiting for me in hopes that I’ll accept a ride from him. The man refuses to give up. That shouldn’t put a smile on my face, but it does.
It’s the fight my mother puts up when I get home that is the worst. She starts screaming the moment I walk through the door because the nurse has been in her space all day. She forces my mother to take her meds, and to eat; everything she hates doing, which I’m so appreciative for. The daily fights are draining though.
I walk through the door the following Monday and my mother is yelling once again.
“I’m sorry Ginevra. She’s locked herself in the bathroom and is refusing to come out.”
I sigh, wishing it was getting easier. “Why don’t you go home early today, and take a day off. You’ve worked six days straight. Everyone needs a day off.” I need to have a word with Soren about the hours she keeps. She’s here almost twenty-four hours. It’s not healthy for anyone to work that much.
She hesitates. “Honestly, it’ll be easier for me to calm her down if it’s just us here.”
The moment the door closes, my mother walks out with a smile on her face. I force a deep breath in to control my frustrations.
“Why haven’t you talked to Soren yet?” she demands. “I see him here every morning, you know.”
“Mom, I’m exhausted. Can we just watch TV together and not fight?”
My mother’s face pales and her hand suddenly clutches her chest before she falls to her knees. I race toward her, falling to my knees, my phone already calling 911.
“Mom, what is it?”
She doesn’t answer. It looks like she can’t breathe. I’m so stupid for sending the nurse away. I should have been stronger.
I watch helplessly as the paramedics lift my mother onto a stretcher. I shouldn’t have been so selfish…for wanting help. I could have easily told Soren to have the nurse come in a few days a week instead. I don’t need her to work all the hours she does, putting extra stress on my mother.
We’ve been checked into the ER and taken back to a less-than-private room where my mother is currently complaining about the hospital bed being too hard. I keep telling myself that if she’s complaining, she’s breathing. And she’s at least stopped complaining about her chest, so that has to be a good thing.
I check my watch and see it’s been two hours since the ambulance dropped us off with our express pass past the check-in desk. We haven’t seen anyone since.
“Miss Pasello?” a doctor greets me. “I’m so sorry to have you waiting. No one knew who you were.”
I wave him off, unsure what he means. I expected to be here all night. These things are never fast.
“We are taking your mother up to her own room right away and running every test possible. I promise you, we will find out what caused your mother’s episode.”
After countless vials of blood, an EKG, and chest x-rays, I’m exhausted. My mother is in and out of sleep as we wait for the results. At least her bed seems comfortable enough to keep her from complaining and I get a decent couch to sit on.
The hospital must be out of all the small, ordinary rooms to put us up here. “Miss and Mrs. Pasello.” The doctor walks in and I want to ask him how much this room is going to cost us, but he continues talking. “Good news, in my professional opinion, your mother had a panic attack and not a heart attack,” I am told.
I glance over at my mother and see she’s still asleep. “I can wake her for this.”
“No need, Miss Pasello, she needs her rest. Soren Moretti has already informed me that I can talk to you about your mother’s health.”
“Soren?” My heart does a double thump.
“Yes. He called me in the moment he heard. I am deeply sorry about you having to wait. I assure you that will never happen again.”
“How do you know Soren?”
“Soren is my boss. He hired me as the head doctor on your mother’s medical staff.”
I’m caught off guard, not knowing what to say. It’s all a little overwhelming. The doctor takes my silence as an indication for him to continue.
“The bad news is…your mother’s white blood count is off the wall. With her cancer diagnosis, she is susceptible to infection and I am going to keep her here to ensure she receives the best possible care. I have arranged for a car to take you back home. You can’t help your mother if you are dead on your feet. You need sleep, too.”
I glance at the clock on the wall. It’s two in the morning. Who am I to argue with the man?
In the back seat of my personal ride, I give Jude a call. Like every other time, it goes straight to voicemail. Someone has to be listening to them, because his voicemail isn’t full and it should be by now, even if I’m the only one leaving him messages. “Hey, Jude, it’s your sister. Mom has been asking about you. She…she’s back in the hospital. Where are you?” It’s been almost three weeks since I saw him last.
I wake up in the morning feeling like I haven’t slept at all. I glance back at myself in the mirror and determine that no amount of makeup is going to fix how tired I look. My fingers thread through my hair, pulling it up and away until it slips through my fingers. I don’t know why I bother to put any effort into my appearance today because it’s not going to help.
I’m grateful I don’t have to get my mother up or deal with her this morning. The thought has my guilt rising. She’s in the hospital, and I’m happy I don’t have extra work to do at home. How awful is that?
The image in the mirror has me turning away and I pull the blinds up harder than necessary. One side falls off its bracket, while the other side remains secured at the top of the window. I peer out my bedroom window, not seeing Soren. Disappointment washes through me and I step in front of the window to be sure.
Soren is leaning against his car at the end of the driveway and waves up at me with a coffee in his hand. For over a week straight, Soren has stood in my driveway offering me a ride to work. Today is no different. I may have met my match in stubbornness. No one has ever fussed over me like this.
I pick up another piece of hair and wrap it around my curling iron. Steam billows off my hair while I stew about the fact that he’s here waiting for me. I lean toward the window to see if he got tired of waiting and decided to leave. Each day I have refused a ride, today will be no different.
My eyes dart to the window, still distracted with Soren’s presence, and the hot metal of my curling iron touches my neck. Instant pain radiates in its place. I let go of the device and it falls to the floor with a thud, the plastic handle breaking off. My curling iron is now useless, leaving half my hair in ringlets while the other half is straight.
I push my brush through the curls, trying to undo all the effort I just wasted, but it’s useless. Grabbing an elastic, I shove my hair into a bun and scramble to finish getting ready. All food is forgotten with my lack of time.
Last night, I should have stood my ground. When my mother gets on a roll and isn’t getting her way, she becomes mean and angry. Still, I know better.
The reflection in the mirror catches my attention. I was so focused on my hair and makeup I didn’t notice my shirt is inside out. I quickly change it up before I open my front door. I slip on the closest heels and run out. My feet scramble to stop when I spot Soren standing three feet from my door.
“Soren, leave me alone. I’m late.” I have the world on my shoulders; I don’t have the energy to spend on another thing.
“Hey, are you okay?” His hand brushes against mine with concern etched into his face.
“I’ll be better when you stop stalking me.” The words slip out, and I’m not even trying to be rude to him. With my mother in the hospital, Soren becoming the one person I can depend on, and not knowing what being with Soren means for my job, I’m at my wits end. Toss in my lack of sleep and I’m an emotional wreck.
“I thought girls found this sort of thing endearing”
“You’re not a book character, Soren. Nothing you do is endearing. It’s all annoying.”
I push through him and go toward my car. It dawns on me as I open the door that I forgot to gas up last night. I slam my door closed, internally cursing myself for being lazy. I should have just done it. Turning the key, I double check the number of miles I have left, only to find I have a full tank.
I glance up at Soren, who is beaming at me and mouthing, “You’re welcome.”
I roll down my window. “Stalker.”
He tilts his head at me as if saying, “You wish.”
I look at my house, remembering how clean it is for the first time ever. How I’m not stressing over if my mother is taking her meds or eating while I’m at work. All that pressure is gone. Though I hate stringing Soren along, perhaps that’s exactly what I need to do. Pretend I’m willing to marry him for as long as I need to in order to get my mom the care she deserves.
“You win,” I call out and roll my window back up. I turn off the car and step out. “You’re right. This car is going to break down any moment.”
It takes Soren a second to recover, the shock on his face comical before he masks it. “It’s about time you saw reason.”
He opens his passenger door, waiting for me.