Chapter 26
Chapter Twenty-Six
Cami
I was finishing my coffee when the knock came at the cabin door. Majesty answered it.
“Is Cami here?” a voice barely above a whisper asked.
“Of course. Come in.” Majesty stepped aside, then looked at me. “Baby, Iris is here to see you.”
I set down my mug and moved to greet her. “Hey. How are you doing?” Iris stood on the porch looking small and lost, her eyes red-rimmed from crying.
“Not great.” She wrapped her arms around herself. “Can we talk?”
Lex appeared from the bedroom, already dressed for the day. He took one look at Iris and then at his watch. “Majesty, we need to head out. Observation starts in thirty minutes.”
“I know.” Majesty looked at me. “Cami, stay here with Iris. Take your time. The truck keys are on the counter. Come over when you’re ready, okay?”
“Okay.”
He pressed a kiss to my forehead, and Lex squeezed my shoulder then kissed my lips as they passed. “Press the button on the smaller fob fifteen minutes before you come out so it’s nice and warm for you.” He paused and I nodded. “See you soon.”
The door closed behind them, and suddenly it was just Iris and me in the too-quiet cabin.
“Sit,” I said, gesturing to the couch. “Do you want coffee? Tea?”
“No, I just...” She sank onto the couch and immediately started crying. “I can’t do this, Cami. I can’t be in a triad. I thought I could, but I can’t.”
I sat beside her and put my arm around her shoulders. “What happened?”
“Everything. Nothing. I don’t know.” She wiped her eyes.
“The guys were never really with me, you know? They were just... doing their own thing and I happened to be there. And after what happened with the safe word violation, I realized I’d been making excuses for them for months.
Telling myself it would get better. That I just needed to try harder. Be more like the other submissives.”
“Iris, you don’t need to be like anyone else.”
“Don’t I? Have you seen the women here? The ones who’ve been doing this for years? They’re so confident, so experienced. They know exactly what their Dominants need without being told. They can take intense scenes without breaking. And I’m just... I’m not that. I’ll never be that.”
Her words hit me somewhere deep, but I pushed the feeling away. This wasn’t about me.
“You’re enough as you are,” I said firmly.
“Am I?” She looked at me with those desperate eyes.
“Because it didn’t feel like enough. It felt like I was constantly failing.
Constantly disappointing them. And I kept thinking, when are they going to realize they can do better?
When are they going to find someone who actually knows what they’re doing? ”
My throat tightened, but I kept my voice steady. “What are you going to do now?”
“Go home. Lick my wounds. Maybe try to find a single partner who won’t make me feel like I’m competing with someone else for attention.” She laughed bitterly. “I’m not going to the rest of observation week. I don’t have a triad anymore. No point.”
“There are singles observing too,” I offered. “You could still learn.”
“Maybe. I don’t know.” She looked at me. “What about you? What’s the plan after you leave here at the end of the week?”
The question caught me off guard. “I... we haven’t really discussed it.”
“You haven’t discussed it?” Iris’s eyebrows rose. “Cami, you leave in four days. And you don’t know what happens after?”
“It’s been busy. The workshop, and—”
“That’s not a good sign.” Iris’s voice was gentle but the words cut deep. “If they wanted you to stay, they would have said something by now. Trust me. I know what it looks like when you’re just convenient for the moment.”
“It’s not like that.”
“Isn’t it?” She stood and grabbed her purse.
“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be negative.
I’m just... I’m processing. And maybe I’m projecting.
But, Cami, protect yourself, okay? Don’t assume they want the same things you do.
Don’t wait for them to tell you you’re not enough.
Ask the hard questions now before it hurts more later. ”
She hugged me briefly and left, and I sat there in the silent cabin, her words echoing in my head.
If they wanted you to stay, they would have said something by now.
Don’t wait for them to tell you you’re not enough.
You leave in four days.
I looked around the cabin that had felt like home. Majesty’s jacket on the back of a chair. Lex’s book on the coffee table. My own things scattered among theirs like I belonged here.
But did I?
I shook my head, trying to quiet the thoughts. Iris was hurting. She was projecting her situation onto mine. This was different. We were different.
Weren’t we?
But that’s exactly what happened right before the wedding when he decided you weren’t enough then, either.
I shook my head trying to dislodge the thought.
A chill ran through me and I ran upstairs to put on a thicker sweater.
As soon as I put it on, the weight of it was comforting and it made the cold feel less threatening.
I hit the button on the remote start and warmed my coffee.
A beep from the fob pulled me out of the lull I fell into while stirring my coffee.
I poured it into a to-go cup, grabbed the truck keys, and headed to the Dungeon.
Observation was in full swing when I arrived. Various triads and quads were set up in different sections of the main Dungeon space, demonstrating their dynamics for the students who’d signed up to observe and learn.
I spotted Majesty immediately. He was talking to a submissive near the bondage section.
She was beautiful—long dark hair, perfect posture, wearing a leather corset that looked like it had been custom-made to her body.
She was laughing at something he said, her hand resting lightly on his arm.
He was instructing her on something, gesturing to the rope work on display.
Her two Dominants stood nearby, watching with appreciation.
I knew it was innocent. Professional. But Iris’s words were still fresh in my mind and watching him made something twist in my stomach.
They know exactly what their Dominants need without being told.
I turned away and went to find Lex.
He was standing near a scene in progress, his arms crossed, watching with that intense focus he got when he was analyzing technique. I approached quietly and stood beside him.
“Hey,” he said without looking away from the scene. “How did it go with Iris?”
“She’s struggling. She broke things off with those guys officially.”
“That’s probably for the best. They weren’t good for her.” He glanced at me. “How are you feeling about it?”
“I just feel bad for her. She seems really lost and—”
“Hold on.” He held up a hand, his attention snapping back to the scene. “Something’s off.”
I watched as he moved quickly toward a triad mid-scene. The submissive’s breathing was wrong, too fast and shallow. Neither of the Dominants had noticed, but Lex did.
“Yellow,” Lex called out. “Everyone pause.”
He spoke quietly with the triad, pointing out what he’d observed, giving suggestions for adjustment. It took ten minutes before he was satisfied and the scene resumed properly.
When he came back to me, he looked distracted. “Sorry, what were you saying?”
“Just that Iris’s having a hard time.”
“Right.” He checked his watch. “We should finish this conversation later when I can actually focus on you properly and I do want to discuss it. This is going to be a long day of monitoring.”
“Of course. Yeah.”
He pressed a quick kiss to my temple and moved on to check another scene.
I stood there feeling dismissed. Rationally, I knew he was working. That this was important. That scenes required attention and focus. But emotionally, it felt like I didn’t matter as much as the work.
If they wanted you to stay, they would have said something by now.
Around noon, Scarlett found me. “Hey, we’re going to lunch at the Italian restaurant. You want to come? It’s me, Iris, and Eliana.”
“Let me ask.” I went to ask Lex but he was busy. So I found Majesty. “Is it okay if I eat lunch with the girls at the Italian place?”
“Yeah, it shouldn’t be a problem since Lex is still working in that scene. Try and have fun.” He pulled me in for a brief kiss and then I ran off to find the girls.
We went to the Italian restaurant upstairs, and I tried to be present for the conversation. But my mind kept drifting. Kept replaying Iris’s words. Kept wondering why Majesty and Lex hadn’t said anything about what happens when I leave.
When we returned to the Dungeon, both men were gone.
“Where did they go?” I asked one of the other observers.
“Lunch, I think. They left about twenty minutes ago.”
They’d gone to lunch. I sighed, thinking I should have stayed back with them to spend lunch together. But they hadn’t come to find me either.
Stop it, I told myself. Maybe they needed to discuss workshop business. It doesn’t mean anything.
It felt like it meant something. But it was hard to control my thoughts with the fog that seemed to settle inside.
It was like floating in a sea with no other boats around.
Not being able to see land anywhere around you, but you saw the storm brewing in the sky with no place to take refuge.
I pulled my cardigan sweater tighter around me.
The rest of the afternoon dragged on. I watched scenes, took mental notes, smiled and nodded when people spoke to me. But I felt hollow. Disconnected. By the time we finally left for the cabin, I was exhausted in a way that had nothing to do with any physical activity.
At home, Lex immediately disappeared into the office. “I have a business call with a vendor. It can’t wait. I’ll be an hour, maybe two.”
Majesty warmed up leftover stew for dinner. “You hungry?”
“A little.”
“Good. I’m starving.” He carried our bowls to the living room instead of the dining table. “My favorite show is airing tonight. You mind if we watch while we eat?”
“No, that’s fine.” Cuddling did sound nice.
We settled on the couch, and he pulled up the show on the TV. It was some kind of crime drama, and he was immediately absorbed in it. I ate my stew mechanically, watching the screen without really seeing it.
I wanted to talk and to ask about what happens after this week. Also, I needed to understand why things suddenly felt so distant. But he was enjoying his show, laughing at the jokes, completely relaxed. It felt wrong to ruin that with my insecurities.
Maybe I’m being dramatic. Maybe I’m making problems where there aren’t any.
I finished my stew and set the bowl aside. The warmth of the food and the exhaustion of the day caught up with me, and my eyes started to drift closed.
“Hey.” Majesty’s voice pulled me back. “You fell asleep. Come on, let’s get you to bed.”
He walked me upstairs, and I realized with a start that he was leading me to my room. My room. Not his. Not Lex’s.
“Get some sleep,” he said, pressing a kiss to my forehead. “You look exhausted.”
“Okay. Are you coming to bed?” The question came out smaller than I intended.
“Lex will probably want to debrief about today once his call is done. But I’ll check on you later, okay?”
“Okay.”
He left, after making sure I was tucked in, closing the door softly behind him.
I looked around. It felt foreign being in here after sleeping with them for the past week. Like I didn’t belong here anymore. Or maybe I never had. I pulled the covers up, trying to make the bad thoughts go away. But they circled in my head like vultures.
Four days left.
They haven’t asked me to stay.
Iris was right. If they wanted me, they would have said something.
I’m not experienced enough. Not good enough.
NO! I halted my thoughts needing to get out of the whirlwind of them. Hugging my pillow tight, I put another one directly behind me and curled into them until I finally fell into a restless sleep, haunted by dreams of being left behind.
Hours later, I woke in darkness to the sound of voices downstairs. Majesty and Lex, talking about work. About the observation week schedule. About a supply order that needed to be placed.
I looked at the clock. Two o’clock. I was alone in bed, had been for hours. I pulled the blanket tighter around myself and tried to go back to sleep. That voice in the back of my head was busy again though.
I’d been convenient for the workshop, but now that it was ending, so was whatever this was. I should have known better than to believe I could have this.
I’d been here before—two weeks before my wedding, being told I wasn’t enough. And here I was again. Still not enough.
I curled into a tighter ball and let the tears come silently, soaking into the pillow.
“It’ll be okay,” I said aloud to myself, hoping to soothe the ache. But the tears only came faster, burning my eyes, the inside of my noise, and my throat.
No… it won’t. And I was drowning at the thought of it.