Chapter 28
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Cami
I barely slept. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw that submissive touching Lex’s arm. Heard Iris’s words. Felt the emptiness of sleeping alone. When morning came, I couldn’t make myself get out of bed. My phone buzzed with a text from Lex.
Lex:
Breakfast in 20. See you downstairs?
Me:
I have some work stuff I need to handle today. Can I skip observations? I’ll catch up tomorrow.
Lex:
Of course. Take care of what you need to. Let us know if you need anything.
That was it. No questions. No concern. Just permission to be absent.
They don’t even care that I won’t be there.
I heard them leave twenty minutes later. No goodbye called up the stairs. No check-in. I pulled the blanket over my head and tried to make myself disappear. Around noon, I forced myself downstairs. I couldn’t stay in bed forever.
I made a nest on the couch with blankets and pillows. Put on a romantic comedy I’d seen a dozen times. Set out some fruit and crackers on the coffee table even though the thought of eating made my stomach turn.
The movie played, but I wasn’t watching it. Just staring at the screen while my brain replayed every moment of the past few days on an endless loop.
You leave this weekend. They haven’t said anything. You’ve never been enough.
I was shaking, freezing, and I couldn’t figure out why. I grabbed two more blankets and put them on top of me. The front door opened, and I jumped. Lex stood in the doorway, concern written across his face.
“Hey,” he said softly. “Can I come in?”
I nodded, pulling the blanket tighter around myself.
He sat on the coffee table in front of me, close but not touching. “Cami, what’s going on? And please don’t say ‘nothing.’ I know something’s wrong.”
“I’m fine.”
“You’re not fine. You’re shaking. You haven’t eaten.” He gestured to the untouched fruit. “Talk to me.”
“It’s nothing. Really. I’m just tired.”
“Cami.” His voice was gentle but firm. “Please. Let me help.”
Something in me cracked just a little. “You can’t help.”
“Why not?”
“Because this is how it is. This is what happens.” The words were coming faster now, my control slipping. “People realize I’m not what they need and they leave. It’s fine. I’m used to it.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about the fact that I leave in two days and you haven’t said anything! Neither of you have said anything about what happens after I go. About if there even is an after. And I keep waiting for you to tell me that this was just the workshop, that I was just convenient, that—”
“Cami, stop.”
“No! I can’t stop because if I stop thinking about it, if I let myself believe this is real, then it’s going to hurt so much worse when you tell me the truth. When you realize what Iris realized, what my ex realized—that I’m not enough!”
A tear escaped, hot and traitorous, sliding down my cheek. I jumped up from the couch and ran up the stairs, into my room, slamming the door behind me.
I grabbed my phone and curled up on the bed, pulling up a mindless video, anything to drown out the thoughts. I really wanted to go home. I heard Lex on the phone downstairs, his voice urgent. He was probably on a work call. I rolled my eyes and went back to my video.
Thirty minutes later, the front door opened again. Two sets of footsteps on the stairs. A soft knock.
“Cami?” Majesty’s voice. “Can we come in?”
I didn’t answer, but the door opened anyway. They both entered. Majesty sat on the edge of the bed while Lex pulled over the desk chair.
“What are you watching?” Majesty asked gently.
“Nothing important.” I locked my phone screen.
“Cami, we need to talk about what’s happening,” Lex said. “About what you’re feeling.”
“I’m fine.”
“Baby, you’re not fine.” Majesty’s hand hovered near mine but didn’t touch. “And that’s okay. But we need you to talk to us.”
The dam broke.
“I watched Iris fall apart because she wasn’t enough for her partners.
” The words came out in a rush. “I’ve been watching all these women who actually know what they’re doing, who don’t need to be taught every little thing.
And I keep thinking... when are you going to realize?
When are you going to see that I’m not what you need?
That I’m too new, too inexperienced, too. .. not enough.”
“Cami—”
“No, let me finish.” Tears were streaming down my face now.
“Just like he did. My ex. Two weeks before our wedding, he realized I wasn’t enough.
And I keep waiting for you to realize it too.
Then you sent me to my bed in my room. Not yours, Majesty.
Not Lex’s. Not our bed. Mine. Alone. But, better now than later, right?
Better before I’m in so deep I can’t survive it. ”
My voice broke. “Except I’m already there. I already love you both so much it hurts. And in two days I have to leave and you haven’t said one word about me staying. So I guess... I guess I know what that means.”
Silence filled the room.
Then Lex moved from the chair to the bed, kneeling in front of me. “Cami, look at me.”
I forced myself to meet his eyes.
“We fucked up,” he said simply. “Majorly. We got so caught up in the logistics of observation week that we didn’t see what was happening right in front of us.”
“You’re experiencing sub drop,” Majesty added, his voice thick with regret. “Severe sub drop. And we missed it.”
“What?” I blinked at them. “I don’t understand.”
“Sub drop,” Lex explained. “It’s what happens after intense scenes when your body comes down from the endorphin high. It can cause depression, anxiety, feelings of worthlessness. Especially when you’ve had multiple intense scenes in a short period without proper recovery time and aftercare.”
“We pushed you too hard,” Majesty said. “We didn’t give you enough time to process. And then we got distracted with work and left you alone to spiral.”
“But that’s not...” I shook my head. “That’s not why I feel this way. I feel this way because you haven’t talked about what happens when I leave.”
“Because we’re idiots,” Lex said bluntly. “We assumed you knew. We thought it was obvious that we weren’t letting you go.”
“What?”
Majesty took my hand gently. “Cami, we love you. We’ve loved you since before we said the words. And we have no intention of this ending when you leave the Ranch.”
“We haven’t figured out all the logistics yet,” Lex admitted. “Long distance, how often we can visit, when you can come back here. But we thought you understood that we’re in this. Fully. Permanently.”
“You... you want me to stay?” The words came out small, broken.
“We know you have a life back home. A job, friends, commitments. But we want you in our lives and to come visit us in our home. However this needs to look for the three of us. We’ll make it work.”
“But I’m not... experienced like those other women. I don’t know what I’m doing. I make mistakes.”
“Everyone makes mistakes,” Lex said firmly. “Experience doesn’t equal worth. And we don’t want someone else. We want you. Exactly as you are.”
“As I told you before, your ex was an idiot,” Majesty added. “And Iris’s situation has nothing to do with yours. We’re not them. And you’re not ‘too much’ or ‘not enough’. You’re perfect.”
I wanted to believe them. God, I wanted to believe them so badly.
“Can we make this right?” Majesty asked. “Can we help you through this drop? Give you what you need?”
I hesitated, still scared to trust this.
“We’re not going anywhere,” Lex said softly. “Even if you push us away. Even if you’re convinced we don’t want you. We’re staying. Because we love you. And we’re going to prove that to you. Every day. For as long as it takes.”
“Yes,” I whispered. “Yes, Sir.”
“Come here.” Majesty pulled me into his lap, and Lex settled beside us, both of them surrounding me.
They held me while I cried. Really cried.
All the fear and pain and exhaustion pouring out.
I didn’t know where it all came from, but the moment that he pulled me into his lap, the sensations rushed me.
I couldn’t seem to hold any of it back. I curled into him and Lex closed in as well creating a barricade from the rest of the world.
Safe…
“We’ve got you,” Majesty murmured. “We’re so sorry, baby. We should have seen this. Should have been paying more attention.”
“You’re not alone,” Lex added, his hand stroking my hair. “We’ve got you.”
When the worst of the crying subsided, Majesty tilted my face up. “Can I kiss it better?”
I nodded, not quite understanding fully.
He shifted me off his lap onto the bed and positioned himself between my legs. His hands went to the waistband of my pajama shorts.
“This okay?” he asked.
“Yes.”
He pulled them off slowly, along with my underwear, then lowered his mouth to me.
The sensation was overwhelming. Not just physical, but emotional. The care in every touch. The intentionality.
Lex pulled me back against his chest, holding me steady between his legs. His mouth was close to my ear.
“Tell me something,” he said softly. “Do your men love you?”
“I... yes?”
“Say it properly.”
“My men love me.”
“Good girl.” His hands stroked up my sides. “Do we miss you when you’re not with us?”
Majesty’s tongue worked magic between my legs, making it hard to think.
“Yes, Sir,” I gasped.
“Say it.”
“My men miss me when I’m not with them.”
“Do we need you?”
“I don’t—”
“Yes, you do know.” Lex’s voice was firm. “Say it.”
“My men need me.”
“That’s right.” He kissed my temple. “We need you, Cami. Not just sexually. Not just during scenes. We need YOU.”
Majesty added a finger, curling it perfectly, and I moaned.
“Are you our good girl?” Lex continued.
“Yes, Sir.”
“Say it.”
“I’m your good girl.”
“Are you enough?”
I hesitated, freezing, and Majesty stopped.
“Answer him,” Majesty said against my inner thigh. He kissed there, but he waited for me to speak. His eyes intently watching me. “Baby…”
“I... I’m enough.”
“Again. Like you mean it.” Majesty demanded.
“I’m enough.”
“One more time,” Lex urged.
“I’m enough!” It came out almost angry, defiant.
“There she is,” Lex said with satisfaction. “There’s our girl.”
Majesty resumed his work with renewed intensity, and Lex’s hands moved to my breasts, teasing through my shirt and tweaking my nipples. They worked me up, making the emotions swirling inside merge with the arousal to build something monumental. I moaned, writhing between them. Almost… almost…
“Come for us,” Lex commanded. “Show us you believe what you just said.”
The orgasm hit me hard, waves of pleasure mixing with emotional release. I cried out, and they held me through it.
When I finally came down, boneless and shaking, they rearranged us so I was between them, bottomless but warmed by the two of them.
“How do you feel?” Majesty asked.
“Better. Confused. Tired.”
“That’s the drop working its way out,” Lex explained. “You’re going to need intensive aftercare for the next few days. Constant reassurance, physical touch, nourishment.”
“And you’re in trouble,” Majesty added, his tone gentle but serious.
I tensed. “What?”
“You kept all of this to yourself instead of coming to us. You let it build until it became a crisis.” He tilted my face to look at him. “We can’t help if we don’t know something’s wrong. And part of being in this relationship is trusting us enough to tell us when you’re struggling.”
“I didn’t want to be a burden.”
“You’re not a burden. You’re our responsibility. Our privilege. Our partner.” Lex squeezed my hand. “But you have to communicate. No more suffering in silence.”
“Okay,” I whispered. “I’m sorry.”
“We’re sorry too,” Majesty said. “For not seeing it. For getting so caught up in things that we neglected you. That doesn’t happen again.
We’ll change up some things to make sure we’re better apt to notice.
We’re doing too much, and we should have arranged things a little differently to make space for you–us. ”
“Starting now,” Lex said, “we’re taking the rest of the day off. I’ll email everybody to let them know that we’re closing out tomorrow with half a day of class.”
“You don’t have to—”
“Yes, we do.” Majesty’s voice was firm. “You’re our priority.
The workshop is over, we only added the extra observation week because there were a lot of people who couldn’t make the class in person but wanted coaching.
It’ll be fine. You, though… you need us and we want to be here for and with you. ”
Fresh tears fell, but these were different. Relief. Hope.
“I love you,” I said. “Both of you. So much.”
“We love you too,” they said in unison.
I pulled them both closer, caging myself in. Fatigue took over and I closed my eyes. Somebody pulled the blanket high up to my chin and I felt myself melt into the two of them. Finally resting for the first time in days.