Chapter 4
Chapter Four
Oh my god, I’m going to kill him. I’m going to reach across the table and wrap my hands around his damn throat and strangle that smirk right off his face.
But to do that, I’d have to touch him and I’ve done everything I can to avoid any kind of physical contact with Emilio ever since my eighteenth birthday.
“You don’t have to answer that,” I tell Kevin.
“It’s fine. I don’t mind. Frankie took pity on me.
We’re in a class together at school, and when she heard I couldn’t get home for Christmas, she invited me to spend it with her family.
As for my intentions with her…” Kevin smiles at me.
“Well, we’re friends. Platonic friends. Unfortunately, she doesn’t have the right parts for me to be interested in anything else.
Pity, really, because she’s a catch. Any guy who lets this one slip away is a damn fool. ”
Kevin knows how I feel about Emilio. We’ve had plenty of talks while we were supposed to be studying.
We always ended up talking about our nonexistent love lives.
One day, I let it slip that I was in love with someone who I could never actually be with.
Kevin didn’t understand the relationship between our families.
He also doesn’t really know the danger I’d be putting Emilio in if I let myself give in to my feelings.
He knows the rumors about who my family is, but I’ve never confirmed what my father actually does to the outside world.
Which, unfortunately, is everyone else. My dad owns and manages casinos on The Strip.
That’s it. He, along with my Uncle Sammie and Uncle Carlo, runs the underground of Las Vegas and is heavily involved in a number of criminal activities.
I don’t get too much info about what it is they do, just little tidbits here and there.
And then there is my Tío E. Emilio’s dad. He’s the current leader of the De La Sangre Cartel and most certainly not someone you want to cross. You’ll never be seen again if you did. And Emilio, well, he’s following along with his brothers, who all work underneath their father.
My dad would lose his shit if he found out I was having any kind of relationship with Emilio, and if he hurt Emilio, my Tío E would retaliate. I’d literally be the reason my family was torn apart and the reason a war between the two families was started. I can’t do that.
“A damn fool,” Emilio says, agreeing with Kevin while looking directly at me.
The rest of dinner goes by in a blur. Emilio doesn’t pay me or Kevin much more mind. Instead, he’s locked in conversation with his sister. I look around the table. All of my family is here. My brothers, my mom, dad, all my aunts and uncles and cousins. I’ve always loved Christmas.
I love being with my family, but right now, I feel like I can’t breathe. Being this close to Emilio and ignoring his presence is taking a toll on me.
“I’m just going to the restroom,” I tell Kevin.
The minute I get up, I feel Emilio’s eyes on me. I’m thankful when I get inside and he doesn’t follow. My mom, however, does. She knows me too well. “Frankie, I really don’t understand why you’re doing this to yourself.”
“Doing what? Going to the bathroom?” I ask, playing dumb.
“Ignoring your feelings, sweetheart. You’re hurting yourself and you’re hurting him,” she says.
I snort. “Nothing can hurt a Lopez, Mama.”
“You’re wrong. That boy has feelings for you. A blind man would be able to see it.”
“It doesn’t matter. I don’t want to be in a relationship with him. I can’t,” I tell her.
“Why not?”
“We’re just not compatible. It takes more than lust or whatever to make a relationship last. Besides, I’m happy living my life the way I choose to and not having a man telling me what I can and can’t do every day.” I shrug.
“Is that the image of marriage I’ve given you?” Mom places a hand on her chest. “Do you see me following your father’s every order and doing his bidding?”
“No.” I shake my head. “But Emilio is bossy. He already thinks he can tell me what to do. Imagine if he knew how I felt? Imagine if he knew I really would do anything he asked me to do? I’d end up losing myself in him. I’m not doing that.”
“I think you’re wrong. You are too strong to ever lose yourself, Frankie. I really hope one day you’ll realize the mistakes and wasted time you’re creating now.”
“Maybe one day I will. But they’re my mistakes to make and my time to waste.” I lock myself in the bathroom and lean against the door.
Closing my eyes, I inhale and count to ten. When I open them again, I stare at my reflection in the mirror before turning on the tap and washing my hands.
Get it together, Frankie. You can get through one night of hanging out with Emilio without wanting to jump the man’s bones.
When I open the door, I pause. Eliana is waiting in the hallway. “He’s gone,” she says.
“Who’s gone?”
“Emilio. He just left.”
I look towards the front of the house. “Where’d he go?” I ask her.
“No idea. He made up some excuse about needing to do something for Papi, and then he left.” She shrugs. “We both know it’s because of you, though.”
“Excuse me?” I lift a challenging brow. I’ve never had an issue with Eliana. She’s three years younger than me. We’ve always gotten along well.
“It’s because he can’t stand being near you,” she says. “Whatever your hangup is with my brother, find a way to fix it. He doesn’t deserve to be hurt, and our family doesn’t need to be torn apart because of you.”
“I don’t have any hangup with your brother, Eliana.”
“Sure you don’t. Whatever it is, fix it,” she repeats. “If you ask me, he’s far too good for you anyway. He deserves someone better,” she adds before turning and walking away, leaving me staring after her.
I’m not surprised. Eliana and Emilio are close. I am surprised she thinks I’m not good enough for her brother, though. What have I ever done to her to make her hate me so much?
I’ve been a bitch to her brother. That’s what I’ve done. And that Lopez family is tight-knitted. If you hurt one, you hurt them all.
I run upstairs to my room, slam the door shut, and my eyes immediately land on my bed.
On a little red box. I’ve gotten one of these boxes every year.
I know they’re from Emilio, even though there’s never a card.
The first one came when I was eighteen. It was half of a gold heart.
Each gift since has been the same, half of a heart in some form of a charm.
I drop down on my bed and open the box. Sure enough, half a rose-gold heart charm attached to a chain stares back at me. It’s sad, but also, it means he’s still thinking about me. Not that I doubted he was with the way he watched me over dinner.
I take the chain out and put it around my neck, tucking the heart under my dress. My palm presses down, holding it against my actual heart.
There’s a knock at the door and then Hudson is walking into my room. “You okay?”
“Yep, I just wanted to change my shoes,” I lie.
“Really? So you hiding away up here has nothing to do with Emilio?”
“No.” I shake my head and frown at my brother. “I really wish everyone would stop seeing something that isn’t there.”
“Good, because I like the guy, but I will slaughter anyone who hurts you, Frankie.”
“What makes you think he’d hurt me?”
“Because love has a way of hurting people,” Hudson says.
“You know this from experience?” I ask him.
“Nope, I’m never going to fall in love. But I’ve seen it. I saw Alfie after that girl left him high and dry, and I’ve seen other people with broken hearts too. I don’t ever want to see you with one.” He points at me.
I smile at my brother. “I’m tougher than Alfie. We both know that.”
“You are,” Hudson agrees. He knows I’m not, but it’s a lie I’m willing to go along with.
“Besides, whatever you think is going on with me and Emilio, it isn’t.”
“Okay. You coming back downstairs?” Hudson asks.
“Yep, I’m just going to change my shoes,” I tell him.
“See you down there.” He walks out and I fall back onto my bed.
“You know what they say about those who protest too much?”
I jump at the voice behind me. Spinning around, I glare at the owner of that voice. “What the hell are you doing in my room, Emilio?” I hiss at him.
Then I realize he’s in my room. Shit. I rush over to the door, close, and lock it before anyone can walk in here and see him.
“If you wanted to get me in a locked room, you just had to ask.” Emilio smirks.
“I’m trying to save my carpets from being stained with your blood. Why are you here? Eliana said you left?”
“I am leaving. I had a pit stop to make. And then I heard you walk in, and then Hudson appeared,” he explains.
“Okay, well, now you can leave.”
Emilio’s eyes go to the now-empty gift box and then up to my neck. He walks around the bed and stops right in front of me. “He’s right, you know.”
“Who is right?”
“Hudson. He’s right. Hearts do break easy. You should be careful with the ones handed to you, Frankie. No one wants to find out what a broken-hearted Lopez is capable of.” Emilio’s fingers hook under the chain, and he pulls the charm out from its hiding place in my dress.
“I’m trying to save hearts, not break them,” I whisper.
Emilio’s eyes bore into mine. Neither of us blinks.
Don’t do it. Do not kiss me again. Because if you do, I won’t want to stop.
He surprises me by leaning down and kissing the heart charm. He quickly drops it. “Merry Christmas, Frankie,” he says before pressing his lips to the top of my head, just like how my dad and uncles do. Except when Emilio cups my face, it feels… different. It feels… like a lot.
I close my eyes, and when I open them again, he’s gone. As if he were never here and I dreamed up the entire encounter. My fingers feel for the charm. I bring it to my lips and kiss it.
“I really am trying to save hearts,” I whisper to my empty room.