Chapter 38
Seda
The days passed as they walked through the misty redwoods.
Every time they encountered what appeared to be Gnashing Flora, Seda used her magic to electrocute them to dust. It didn’t always work when she tried.
At times, it would sputter out and only scorch the plant; other times, it would shake the earth so violently that they all had to leap back.
If only she could better control her power and understand how it worked.
She realized she had to think about things that angered her to wake up the source. She would practice by thinking about Joro and how unjustly people are treated, about Esper and how her life had ended so terribly, and about how Cahir had spent years lying to her.
She thought about him often, and her mind warred with itself each time. One part of her felt his betrayal deeply, angering her, and another part of her tried to think of reasons he might not have been forthright.
She was still so confused. How had her mother known about these stories of the Fae? And Ojore was actually a bear? The Corvids existed. What else was out there? Who were the Wisps?
Her bare feet grew used to traveling the forest floor. She looked down and noted how dirty they were.
I no longer care.
Shoeless, she felt liberated, and the damp earth beneath her toes made her feel grounded.
She thought back to her time in Joro and how she would never have allowed herself to become this dirty.
She was always meticulous about showering and maintaining her cleanliness.
She felt dirty for fifteen years and was constantly scrubbing her body raw.
No more. Seda now preferred to have that dirt caked between her toes.
Feich walked by her side, not saying much. She looked over at him, taking in his magical beauty. He walked with a stiff posture, standing tall and proud, his eyes scanning the area with a wary glance, as if he could see through objects to detect any signs of danger. She felt comfortable around him.
“I apologize for my verbal attack toward you and your sisters,” she fiddled with her dress. His eyes darted to her, and he nodded.
“So, can you tell me anything about you guys?” she asked him as she stepped over a large mossy log, a small red mushroom growing from the top.
“Well,” he started, “We have lived for hundreds of years. We have waited for you for a long time. When you arrived, we instinctively knew you were here. We were unable to locate you, so we consulted the Wisps for your current location. All Corvids know who you are, but most are hesitant as you are not ready.”
Well, this was the most information she had gotten from them. Maybe she needed to talk to Feich more. Curiosity was eating at her to know them, so she asked, “How many Corvids are there?”
“Thousands of us, living amongst the trees and caves of the high mountains. Roya has been our chosen leader for as long as I have known. Our father came prior.”
“How do you guys communicate with each other since it’s just the three of you here?”
“We call it the Corvid Whispers. We can communicate telepathically amongst each other as needed.”
“Is this why you don’t talk much?” Seda asked, intrigued. She blushed, realizing how rude that sounded, and looked away. “Sorry.”
“No need. I’m a man of few words. I also do not say much to my kin unless necessary,” he smiled at her. His light skin radiated in the filtered sunlight through the trees. “They nag too much.”
Seda laughed loudly and stepped over a group of small red mushrooms. She looked down at them, noting their colorful tops with yellow spots.
“Ouch!” Askold yelled from ahead of the group. He dropped one of the mushrooms he picked up, his fingers turning red.
“Don’t think those are edible, Askold,” Kalon said from his side, shaking his head.
“Watch out, everyone, these mushrooms bite back when touched, and I see a lot more of them in the distance. They seem to be getting larger also.” He walked back to Seda and offered her his arm.
She accepted it as he guided her around the large swaths of mushrooms, avoiding them with her bare feet.
Elco was flying with Roya and Ferona. They were playing through the air.
She looked up and smiled. Elco was free to fly again and enjoy the freedom it brought, no longer being chained and caged.
She wondered about his past and where he came from.
They imprisoned him for more than a thousand years.
This beautiful, magical creature endured horrors no one should see for far too long.
Seda accidentally stepped on and crushed a mushroom. Pain shot up through her foot and leg. She hissed and nearly lost her balance, but Kalon caught her in his arms. “I think it’s safe to say you might want a ride until we pass this.”
She smelled his sandalwood scent as he smiled down at her. She blushed, flinching from the pain, but was grateful for the offer. He picked up her dirty foot, examined the bottom, and gently squeezed it. “You have a blister, but it doesn’t look too bad.”
She held onto him as her foot throbbed. The warmth of him crept into her, and she shivered as she thought about Cahir holding her the same way.
“Are you cold?” he asked her. He looked down at her, and his beautiful seafoam-colored eyes seemed to slow down time. He looked at her like he saw the person she was meant to be, not the weak Seda of the past, but the strong woman she longed to become, almost as if he understood her true potential.
She shook her head and looked away from him, breaking the trance she felt she was in.
Thoughts of Cahir circled back through her mind.
He must have had a reason for lying to her for all these years.
Allowing her to inseminate herself with him artificially enraged her.
At what point did he realize things were going too far?
Did he ever think that? Did he even feel guilty for lying to her? She wondered what he was doing now.
She desperately wanted to talk to him again, even if it was for closure. And honestly, to even see if what everyone was saying was true, because what if it wasn’t?
“What are you thinking about?” Kalon asked as he was stepping over dozens of mushrooms on the ground. “You look lost in thought.”
She thought about what to say. Should she be honest? Would she find comfort in sharing her thoughts with this man, especially so soon after one had lied to her for years?
“I’m thinking about closure,” she replied.
“Hmm.” His full lips thinned, and he said, “The most dangerous liars are the ones who think they are doing it for the right reasons.”
She looked back up into his bright eyes, surrounded by dark eyelashes, as he gazed down the path. “Have you ever been lied to before by someone you care about?”
He looked down at her, and her heart fluttered. Then he smiled at her before glancing back up to watch his steps. “Yes. I’ve been lied to, and it broke me.” He sighed. “Want to hear something honest?”
“Yes,” she replied anxiously. She did want to hear something honest. She wanted honesty from everyone. She was tired of the mysteries.
“Sometimes forgiveness is the hardest part, but it loosens the chains we strap ourselves with when we carry our anger.” He took a deep breath and continued, “And… I think you’re the most stunning and powerful being walking this planet.
I believe you’re more than you even see about yourself.
” He kept walking through the trees and the mushrooms, then stopped and looked up.
Seda blushed. No one ever said that to her before. It was very flattering that someone could see qualities in her that she didn’t recognize in herself.
She looked up at what Kalon was staring at, and Benny had his hand raised in the air, stopping everyone.
“Look at these,” Benny said as he pointed.
Seda noticed how the mushrooms had gotten larger the further they walked. The ones around her were as tall as Kalon, and in the near distance, they were as large as the oak trees in the Heath Forest.
“Oh my,” Askold whispered in awe. “Have you ever seen anything like this before?”
Elco circled, trying to find a place to land that was free of the red-topped mushrooms. Finding that he could not land on the ground, he perched on top of a tree that bent to the side and stared down at Seda.
“This is the Amanita Copse. The last time I saw this place, it was not nearly as vast as it is now. They’re very dangerous if you come into contact with them.
They don’t move or bite, but they’re poisonous if touched.
Tell your friends not to touch the large ones.
The larger the mushroom, the more potent the poison.
” He took off into the sky, and the force of his weight lifting made the tree swing back and forth.
She reiterated what Elco said to Kalon, who called out to the group. The group continued forward carefully and began searching for a place to rest.
They kept walking for another hour when Seda felt something in her underwear. She let out a groan out of habit. None of her attempts at getting pregnant had worked out, so her period was always a letdown each month.
Her whole life, she was told that having periods was shameful and that it meant you weren’t loyal to Joro.
“I need to find somewhere private, please,” she said to Kalon, who was still carrying her.
“Is everything alright?” he asked, his eyebrows rising as he looked down at her.
She ground her teeth and looked away. “Yes, I just think I might have started my… period.” She winced as she said the last word.
She averted her gaze from him, her face feeling like it was on fire.
He set her down, and she carefully stepped around the smaller mushrooms, finding a spot behind a large one for some privacy. The rest of the group all stopped and looked at Kalon.
“What’s going on?” she heard Askold question.
“Seda needs privacy for a moment. Let’s take a short break,” Kalon replied. She listened as everyone set down their items and talked among themselves.
Seda peeked around the corner of the mushroom, being careful not to touch it, and looked to ensure no one was watching. When it seemed safe, she bunched up the skirt of her dress and slid her underwear down her legs.
The red spot stared back at her.
Sadness surrounded her as the last insemination failed. She deeply wanted to have a baby, and the ongoing cycles of hopeful waiting each month were draining. Perhaps motherhood wasn’t meant for her, a thought that made her heart ache.
She looked around, realizing she had nothing she could use to keep herself clean. There wasn’t even a damn moss ball she could use. There was no way in hell she would use a mushroom. What was she going to do?
Crap! Crap! Crap!
She heard the sound of something tearing, then someone cleared their throat from the other side of the mushroom. Seda jumped, quickly pulling her underwear back up her legs.
“Yes?” she nervously called out.
“I have something for you. Are you decent?” Kalon asked.
What could he have for her? It’s not like he carried cotton pads in his pack. Did he?
“I’m decent,” she replied.
He walked around the corner and smiled at her. Her eyes moved down his body of their own accord. A long, tension-filled moment passed between them as Seda’s eyes roamed down his bare chest, and she noticed it rise with a deep inhale.
Heat crept up her cheeks as she stared at his strong muscles, olive skin, and the black tattoos that slithered from the one on his neck, down to his hands, around his chest, and hid below his belt line.
She really hadn’t seen many tattoos before.
Occasionally, people in Joro would visit Barrio to have small pieces of art applied to their bodies.
But they were usually pricey and flashy, so not many, aside from The Rising members, had tattoos that she’d seen.
She cleared her throat and ran her hand over her neck. “Why aren’t you wearing a shirt?” she asked, inwardly groaning at herself for ogling.
He held out his hand filled with scraps of material to her. “Here, thought you might need something for that.” He nodded toward her stomach. “I have another shirt in my pack.”
“Oh… thank you.” She fidgeted with the skirt of her dress.
He smirked at her as she took the cloth from his hand, their fingers brushing against each other for longer than usual.
She looked back up at him, her gaze meeting his as his eyes flickered between hers.
“You didn’t have to tear your shirt. I could have torn the bottom part of this awful dress,” Seda said breathlessly.
Honestly, she hadn’t even thought of that until this moment. That probably would have been a good idea. But then the thought made her cringe—this dress was already scratchy against her skin. It would have been awful if it were down there, too.
“Wouldn’t be the first time I sacrificed a shirt. Don’t worry about it,” Kalon said to her as he waited for her approval. She nervously looked down at the scraps of his shirt.
“You know… It’s natural. There’s no need to be ashamed, Seda,” Kalon said, his eyebrows knitting together and his smile fading.
She was at a loss for words and reluctant to discuss this with him, so she quickly changed the subject. “Why didn’t you give me the shirt from your pack?”
He stared at her for a long moment, then his smile returned.
“This one is softer,” he replied, giving her a wink as he turned around and walked back to the group.
She watched him walk away, admiring the defined muscles of his back and his firm…
Stop looking!
When he was gone, she shook her head and pulled her underwear back down, placing two of the scraps there. Then she put the rest in the small pocket of her dress. She pulled her underwear back up, feeling a bit better knowing she had something to stay clean.
Her mind whirled; she had hoped that the last insemination had worked. But, with all the recent events, it was better that it failed. She couldn’t be pregnant on this journey, and she also wasn’t entirely sure how she felt about Cahir. He wasn’t even human. Could that even have worked?
Maybe that’s why it continuously failed.
She sighed and walked around the mushroom.
Kalon was putting on a replica of the shirt he had just shredded.
He extended his arms for her to fall into, and she side-eyed him.
“Not as soft, huh?” she asked, gesturing toward his shirt.
“Not as soft,” he replied with a guileful smile, and picked her up, carrying her deeper into the mushrooms.