Chapter Three
There are few things that make a demon angry.
Scratch that; plenty of demons are just angry by nature. But there aren’t many things that make us justifiably angry. Things that scratch at our sense of morality.
That’s right—morality. Just because we’re creatures of Hell doesn’t mean we don’t have an opinion on what’s right and wrong. In fact, we have a very strong sense of justice. It’s part of our job, after all, to punish humans for acting immorally.
But long gone are the days of Old-Testament, bullshit rules like “thou shalt not commit adultery” and “thou shall not eat beef on Fridays.” God might judge you for that, but demons? We’re a hungry, lusty bunch. I don’t give a shit if you eat a Big Mac on the fifth day.
But that’s the rub, isn’t it? We don’t judge, because it’s not our place to. That belongs to one being, and one alone. And that’s the big God upstairs.
But fuckers like Trevor’s dad? Who not only judge other humans against some fucked-up standard of purity, but seek to dole out punishment for it?
Well, let’s just say, it gets my knickers in a twist.
Really grinds my horns.
“We have a deal, Harley,” I growl, barely containing the venom in my voice as I take in the disgusting human in front of me. “One coin per possesh.”
“You–!” Daddy Dearest jumps in terror, turning around and taking in my horns, skin, muscles, and hooves as he scans me from top to bottom. I bare my fangs.
“That’s right, Dad. One word from her–” I flick open the chamber of my Possession Pistol, “and you,” I unzip my ammo pocket, “are my new,” deposit the rounds in the gun, “meatsuit.”
I click it closed and spin the revolving chamber, tasting the fear in the air as the old man shudders in disbelief. The scent sours as he pisses himself.
“Wh–who are you??”
“Your worst nightmare.”
Pants around his ankles, Daddy Dearest trips over himself in his attempt to dart past me, before yanking up his belt and bolting out the door. I snarl for good measure as he does, and hold back a laugh at the little “eep!” he makes in response.
“You know, that’s probably going to overshadow Trevor’s punishment now. Now that Mr. O’Neil saw you, he’ll have no trouble convincing them he only slept with me because he was possessed.”
“Eh, he still let a demon in their house.” I reach down, pick up her cheerleader costume, and hand it to her. She takes it, and I can see her hands are shaking. My voice softens a bit. “Trouble with authority?”
“More like trouble with dads,” she mutters. She starts to pull up her skirt, then freezes, eyes going wide. “You didn’t hear that.”
“What, that you’ve got daddy issues? Honey, join the club.” I pick up the pink-striped tube socks she left strewn across the carpet.
She raises her eyebrows. “A demon with daddy issues? You don’t see that everyday.”
“Every demon has daddy issues.”
“I thought you were an imp.”
She reaches for her socks, and I snatch them away, giving her a look. “To you, Blondie, I might as well be a god. And you’d be smart to remember that.”
I reach my arm back out, and she takes the rest of her costume. A moment passes as she dresses in silence, seeming to ponder what I said.
“You saved me.”
“I did.”
“Why?”
“I thought I’d get another coin out of it.” I shrug. “But he left before I could pull the trigger. So I guess I’m still poor.”
I scuff at the soft carpet with my hoof. As if I’d give two shits to rescue a random human for any other reason.
She made it sound like this was some kind of working job interview, after all. And there are more coins where the first one came from. It’s smart to get on this human’s good side. Valuable. She could hire me again.
And that’s all there is to it.
She grabs her backpack from the floor and unzips it, folding out the Twister mat. She grabs a marker from another pocket and gestures for me to step into the summoning circle once more.
“That’s it, then?”
She nods. “Pleasure working with you, Az. D’you think I’ll see you again?”
I smirk, stepping into the circle. “You know where to find me.”
She fills in the smudged ring of the circle, causing it to glow with celestial magic once more.
As the magic builds, she adds, “Oh, and a quick tip from one whore to another? You should probably make sure your client gets to orgasm before you nut all over their tits. I expect to get my money’s worth next time. ”
Before I can shoot back a retort, the summons spirals me back to Hell.
Thank you for reading 1-900-Possess-An-Ex.