Chapter 19
Paul pulled into Susan’s driveway just after seven. The cottage windows glowed against the darkness, making him feel more than ever, that he was home.
He’d driven straight from Missoula instead of stopping at his house. The work he had to do for the restaurant could wait. He couldn’t spend one more hour alone with his thoughts, with the weight of Michelle’s service still pressing down on his chest.
He climbed out of the truck and walked to Susan’s gate, his legs heavier than they should have been. Before he could knock on the front door, Susan opened it.
“I saw your headlights.” Her eyes searched his face, and whatever she saw there made her expression soften. “Come in.”
Paul stepped inside. The scent of cinnamon and apples filled the air, and the simple warmth of her home nearly undid him.
“I made a pie earlier. Are you hungry?”
“I’d love some. Thank you.”
Susan’s hand touched his arm. “How was the service?”
“It was simple, but lovely.” Paul’s throat tightened, and he had to look away from her concerned gaze. “Michelle only wanted her close family and friends there.”
Susan led him to the couch, and he sank onto it gratefully. “That sounds like a wonderful way to celebrate her life.”
“It was.” Paul leaned back, closing his eyes for a moment. “Michelle’s sister asked me to say a few words. I didn’t think I could do it, but I managed to talk about the Michelle I knew when we were young.”
Susan’s hand found his.
“It was strange seeing people who knew us back then,” Paul said slowly. “Michelle’s best friend Sarah was there. She said Michelle was happy. That she’d made peace with everything.”
Susan squeezed his hand.
“It felt good to hear what Michelle had done after our divorce. I heard about Michelle’s students, her garden, and how she and Robert used to host dinner parties every month.
She lived a full life.” Paul’s breath hitched.
“I’m glad she had that. After everything I put her through, she deserved that happiness. ”
Susan shifted closer, her hand warm in his. If felt good to have her close, to know that she accepted who he used to be and who he was today. “What have you been doing while I was away?”
“Delivering food parcels with Lynda.” Susan’s voice was gentle, giving him something to focus on besides his grief.
“It’s part of Pastor John’s Secret Santa program.
We visited twelve families this week. Some were single parents, and others had lost their jobs.
We visited two older couples who are struggling to pay their power and food bills.
We gave each of them food parcels to see them through the next couple of weeks. ”
Paul knew about the Secret Santa program. He’d donated meals at the restaurant and helped to fund some of the more expensive gifts. “The people you saw must have appreciated the food.”
Susan sighed. “None of them wanted to accept our help. They all said there are people who need it more than they do. But they needed it. You could see the relief in their faces when they took the boxes of food.” Susan squeezed his hand.
“Lynda suggested I bring you next Sunday when we deliver more food parcels.”
Paul frowned. “I don’t mind coming, but why did she think it was a good idea?”
“Because delivering the food parcels makes you feel good, and I think you need that now.” Susan looked deeply into his eyes.
“You’re a wonderful man, Paul. You’ve made a difference in so many lives through what you do at the restaurant.
Sometimes, we all need to step back and appreciate what’s happened in our lives. Good and bad.”
The words settled over him like a warm blanket. He’d spent the drive home thinking about Michelle’s life after their divorce and the happiness she’d found. And now Susan was telling him he’d built something good here too. Something that mattered.
“Would you come?” Susan asked softly. “Next Sunday?”
Paul nodded. “I’d like that. It’ll be good to make someone’s day a little brighter.” Some of the weight on his chest lifted. Not all of it—maybe it would never all go away. But enough for him to breathe a little easier.
“Was that what you meant when you said you had something you wanted to talk to me about?”
Susan nodded. “It was, but I wanted to tell you something else, too. Cole Morrison showed me the resort plans this afternoon. The kitchen is incredible.”
Paul’s eyebrows rose. “Are you thinking about working there?”
“I don’t know. Maybe.” Susan looked uncertain. “Cole left me his phone number so I can call if I have any questions. He isn’t looking for an executive chef right now, so there’s plenty of time to think about it.”
Paul wrapped his arm around Susan’s waist. “Well, I think you’d be an amazing executive chef. Anyone who can reinvent my restaurant’s menu is worth their weight in gold.”
Susan smiled. “You might not have said that if you’d seen me second-guessing the desserts for Lynda’s reception.”
Paul enjoyed seeing the teasing light in Susan’s eyes. “What desserts are you considering?”
Susan launched into her dilemma. Should they have a traditional wedding cake or the assortment of smaller desserts that Matt wanted? Paul listened, asked questions, and let the normal rhythm of their conversation pull him back from the edge of his grief.
Susan’s voice, her presence, and the simple act of planning desserts for a friend’s wedding reminded him that life went on. That there was still joy to be found, still moments worth showing up for.
After the last few days, he needed to be reminded that life kept moving. That Susan was here, and that she wasn’t going anywhere.