21. Dangerous Truths
TWENTY-ONE
DANGEROUS TRUTHS
Vivian
The mood breaks with the cold shroud of nothingness. One moment blinding, white lights surround us, illuminating every detail, every expression, the next, complete and total darkness.
Confused, I sit upright and lean back as Syasku’s hands drop from me. His tail comes up to press me against him, sliding across my back protectively.
The lights turn back on.
His hands are on his collar, his fingers digging between it and his skin.
Blinking wildly as my eyes adjust, he looks up at the ceiling with a furious hiss.
“What’s wrong?”
“The collar’s power weakened with the darkness.”
I drop my eyes to it. “It did? You could feel that?”
He slides his fingers back under it, still eyeing the lights like he’s hoping they’ll turn off again.
“They flickered yesterday,” I say. “I don’t know why. Did you notice it too?” He wasn’t with me when it happened.
“Yessss.”
His tail loosens, and I shift away, eyeing his stiff cock, his tense tail. He’s completely focused on the lights. I curl my arms across my middle, self-conscious and unsure how to proceed as he continues to wait for the lights to go out again.
My brow furrows, and peering up with him, I shuffle farther away.
A few minutes later, Ursula arrives with her soldiers, and with a threatening hiss on his part, she takes him away at gunpoint. Still aroused and confused, I study the lights long after they’re gone, wondering what caused the temporary blackout.
Syasku’s still hasn’t been returned when Muffin visits, bringing with him a spare change of clothes and more blankets.
The lights flicker again.
We pause and look up, including the soldier watching us from outside the door.
My fingers twitch and curl into my palms. “What’s causing that? A power surge?”
Muffin’s gaze drops. “I’ve heard it’s because one of the ship’s nuclear reactors has been shut down, though I’m not entirely certain.”
“What?” I frown. “Why?”
He rubs his chin with his finger. “I assume it’s because people want your father to lift the lockdown. There’s been… unrest that the ports are still shut.”
“I… I had no idea.”
Muffin nods. “Food and water have become increasingly restrictive, and the lower castes are hurting the worse. As for why? There’s been rumors that the lockdown is to keep people from traveling to Earth. Either way, no one except those cleared by the military are allowed to leave.”
“But Earth’s barely habitable.”
“Not according to some of the soldiers that have returned.”
My frown deepens as my mind reels. If Earth is habitable and people want to return, why stop them? The planet belongs to everyone, not just Father and the military.
Muffin lowers his voice and steps closer to me. “The fighting around the core is getting worse, and it’s not just there. People are questioning the lack of information that command is providing. There have been uprisings in other parts of the ship too.”
“I’ve been so out of touch…” I’d barely thought about anything outside Syasku for weeks.
“It’s a bad situation.” He shrugs. “Everyone is looking for a way off the ship these days.”
“Even if Earth is safe, there’s no colony. There’s no infrastructure.”
He heads for the door where the soldier straightens at his approach. “We all lost something when Earth fell, some lost a lot more. It won’t be long now if the rumors are true.”
“Won’t be long for what?” I call after him.
Muffin pauses and looks back at me. “Until people start trying to reclaim what they’ve lost.” He smiles. “Don’t worry, you’ll be safe here. I’ll return when I can.”
“What about you? Do you want to go to Earth?”
“I’ve been on this ship my whole life. I wouldn’t be able to survive in a place without walls. I like what I know.”
He exits before I can ask anything more, and with thoughts swirling through my head at the implications of political unrest, I grab a ration and idly chew on it. I’d been so caught up in my research and then Syasku’s capture that I’d forgotten about the rest of the ship. I’ve always been kept away from the strife, and so I never paid much attention to it.
If I wasn’t studying or trying to figure out how to break into Yulen software systems, I was here, working.
Picking up a blanket and unfolding it, I settle against the wall and wait for Syasku. If Earth could be recolonized, would I volunteer? Like Muffin, I’ve never been to a place without walls.
It seems… frightening.
I eat another ration and take a short nap, waking when the door to the cell opens. Rubbing my eyes, I rise as several soldiers enter, followed by Syasku, who is then followed by more soldiers. Our eyes catch as they rebind him to his chains. Once they’re gone, I go to him and kneel once his chains are loosened, wiping the fresh blood off his tail, relieved he’s unharmed anywhere else.
“Female,” he says softly, petting my hair away from my face and running one clawed finger down my cheek. “What is wrong? I can sense you are distressed.”
Can he? “I found out why the lights have been flickering. There’s been fighting on the ship because of a lockdown that’s been in effect. People want to leave, and some want to return to Earth.”
“That upsets you?”
“No… I… I just didn’t realize it was actually possible. I mean, I knew it was safe enough on Earth for the military to send operatives but not safe enough for civilians.”
“I come from Earth—my home and nest are there. When we are free, it is where I will take you. There are dangers, but none that cannot be conquered.”
“We’ll never be free,” I murmur, then shake my head in apology. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.”
He hisses but doesn’t argue with me. Instead, he changes the subject to one I’m not prepared for. “Who is Urssssula to you?”
I stiffen, shuffling slightly away only to have his tail slide behind me. “She is—was—my boss. I… I don’t know who she is to me anymore. My enemy, perhaps. Did she say something?”
Syasku moves closer. “Your boss?”
“Someone you work for… For compensation.”
“How does she compensate you? Food, shelter?—”
“She…” Doesn’t. Because she works for my father who practically gave me to her. Realizing how close I am to admitting who my father is and preferring to avoid it, I begin to feel like I’m lying to him. “Can we talk about it later?”
His tail shifts, nudging me closer to him. “If that is what you want. You are nothing like her. That is why I ask. I want to understand why you were with her when I arrived. She is…”
“A sociopath,” I cut him off.
“—immoral.”
“It’s almost the same,” I whisper, easing into him when I realize he’s cut off all my exits, my shoulders slumping with a defeated sigh. “I don’t know how much of this you will understand, but I’ll try to explain. Ursula is famous for her work in biologics and pharmaceuticals. And, well, I’m known for having a very specific DNA chain that allows me to interact with certain medical technology.”
His eyes narrow as he considers me. “The Lurker technology you are searching for?”
“No, that’s different, this is humanmade medical technology created by Yulen. I was given to Ursula so she could have access to that technology which is something only I or another like me can give. Many could use Yulen tech to further help themselves and others, but it’s useless without a Yulen there to activate it. There are many of us—we’re spread and bred across the colony ships, but there’s still not enough, not nearly enough. And there are fewer still who can repair and keep the technology running. Even after nearly two millennia, Yulen medical tech still reigns supreme over modern day medicine and robotics. That is why I am with her, and why I…” I exhale. “Exist at all.”
He hisses. “What does that mean?”
“My father wants control of the tech, but, until me, no one on this ship has had the necessary training to not only use the technology but to also understand its coding and robotics. The skills that someone would need to crack a code that was put into effect hundreds of years ago. Modern technology is very different from what we had in the past. It’s like learning a dead language when all you have are footnotes…” I press my face into the velvety scales framing his chest, submitting to his embrace entirely as he threads his fingers through my hair.
I inhale deeply, his scent filling me to the brink.
“You are right, I do not understand. Although this cannot be why you are here. I do not believe you exist for the sake of old tech. No one can choose what our existence means except ourselves.”
“What does your existence mean?” I inhale another deep breath and shudder. “Ursula is after the answer to that question.”
“My…existence is not dissimilar to what you believe for yourself, female.”
“It’s not what I believe, Syasku, it’s what I know.” When I press my lips to his chest, his body vibrates with a soft hiss.
“How can you be so sure?” he asks rather than answering me.
“Because my mother is—was—a Yulen too…”
We fall into a short silence, and as his hands run up and down my back, his soft, lulling hiss subduing me further, I melt.
“Urssssula, during one of my interrogations, told me why I exist, why my entire species exists. If what you say is true, we are similar.”
I pull away. “She has?”
“Someone has discovered the Lurker technology, and it cannot be used by humans. It can only be used by those who created it.”
“She said that?”
“She has said a lot of things.”
My curiosity piques. First with the lights and what Muffin has told me, and now this. I want to know what’s discussed when Syasku’s taken away and why they’re so desperate to learn from him. He’s not just another means to an end.
I’ve been kept in the dark about a lot and ignorant of the rest.
Syasku has no reason to lie to me, and I feel safe with him. I don’t know what he would gain from misleading me. He’s here unwillingly; he has no loyalty to anyone. My gaze drops back to his chest. I want his loyalty and trust.
I’d do anything for it.
But if Father has discovered the very technology we traveled across the galaxy for is useless in the hands of humans…
“What… else has she said?”
Swallowing, I wait for him to tell me more, my skin prickling with unease.
“My kind can use it.”
A moment passes, and then another as my brow furrows. I sit back to face him, trailing my gaze over his features. “You’re not a Lurker. You look nothing like a Lurker.”
As if the news means absolutely nothing to him, he slips his hands from my back to clasp them around my waist. “No, I am a naga. But there is more inside me than that.”
As our gazes hold, his grows sharp, almost suspicious, like he’s waiting for me to do something with that information. “Wait? What? You’re a… half-breed. A hybrid of some kind?” I stare at him, not entirely surprised even if the connotations are frightening. Lurkers are second only to the Ketts as a threat to humans, and only because no one has seen or heard from one in nearly fifteen hundred years.
“She calls it Genesissss-8.”
Growing exhausted and overly heated, I exhale. My nerves surprisingly settle, leaving me only tired and aroused. “Genesis-8… I guess we are just a means to an end… You and I both.” I chuckle softly. “We’re not so dissimilar after all.”
He releases my waist to comb the fallen strands of my hair behind my ears. But any lingering comfort in his touch flees with our nearness, with how we left things off. I’m aware of every place our bodies touch. His scent may have forced my arousal in the beginning, but I can’t say it’s the only cause of it.
The more I dwell on him, the more I want him. The more I want him, the more I dwell on him.
I’ve grown so used to the way he and his scent affect me that I don’t know who I am anymore without it. It has… made me do stupid things. Things I like to believe I would have never done if I didn’t feel this way. And yet, despite all the reasons I should keep my distance, it has also been my excuse for why I haven’t.
Panting now, my hips twitching forward to feel his bulge against my body, I don’t realize what I’m doing until I’m already doing it.
I jerk back. Grabbing a blanket and hooding the cloth over my head, I curl my limbs in and bring my hands to my face until the only part of me he’s able to see are my eyes. “I’m sorry.”
He faces me, having already closed the distance I put between us. “Sorry?”
His sharp and heated gaze, curious and concerned, makes me feel worse. He wants an explanation.
“I want to be… closer to you,” I whisper, twisting my fingers together in the cloth. “I just don’t know…” Anything. “I liked what was happening the other day before the lights went out. I’m just…” Scared? Nervous?
Fucked up?
Tension radiates from him and my mouth closes. His arms flex, his hands clench, and he curls his tail close. The chains rattle around him, and his muscled, overwhelming body fills my vision as he comes closer. He surrounds me, caging me within the taut, scaled limbs of his lithe body. My hands fly to his chest to keep from falling into him.
“Female,” he groans, his face above mine. “You do not need to be scared or nervous. If this were my nest, you would already be mine.”
His breath fans my cheek as his deep voice sends delectable quivers straight to my sex.
His tongue slips out to lick my lips, and I gasp as it slides up my jaw and into my ear. Shuddering, I press my legs together, afraid of who might be watching.
“Syasku,” I moan his name as his tongue slides down to my neck. He grabs my hair and lifts it, leaning my head back. I hitch, pushing against him. He rises to stare me down, forcing me to look at him as he lowers his mouth to mine.
“This isn’t your nest,” I remind him. “Is that what’s stopped you from… taking me?”
“Taking you?” he says against my lips. “I would take you there if I could.”
“I meant… taking me… like having sex with me?”
He leans back, and his eyes narrow.
“Why haven’t you tried to have sex with me?” I search his face.
Something hard nudges into my stomach, and I don’t have to look down to know what it is. “You were sick and weak at first. And I did not entirely trust you.”
I wince, but before I can respond, he continues, pushing his erection harder into me.
“Before you, I had only ever seen four living human females. It has been many seasons since I last saw a female of my kind.” He licks his lips, and it’s so erotic with his hair falling into his face that I stare, dumbstruck with desire. “I was so desperate for companionship that the first one I laid eyes on, I claimed her as my mate, not caring about anything other than that she was a female I could try to breed with. I have learned since then that not all females can be trusted or worthy of my attention. I would not make the mistake of nesting with her without knowing her first.”
“There was another before me?” Pain and jealousy rear their heads, constricting my chest. I don’t want there to be another… I didn’t enjoy the thought of human females being brought here and paraded as potential mates for him, and I like it even less that he had tried claiming one, even briefly, back on Earth.
“Right before my capture. The ships were after her and caught me instead. Urssssula called her a traitor.”
A traitor? I grow cold. “Ursula knew the woman you claimed?”
No.
“It seemed like she did.”
“Did…” I push against his chest, “she have blonde hair?”
Tightening his grip, his eyes narrow down at my hands. “She did.”
My arousal flees with horror. “My mother. You were with my mother.” I gasp the words. Why else would Ursula call the previous female he claimed a traitor. My mother is the only traitor I know who could be on Earth. “Were you with my mother?”
He releases my hair to seize my wrist, tugging me back against him. “Your mother?”
“The blonde woman you were going to make your mate. She’s my mother. She’s a traitor and she fled. I didn’t know she went to Earth.” Syasku had tried claiming my mother. A woman I loathe as much as I don’t.
“Your scent was familiar.”
Horrified, I try to tug my wrist out of his grip as everything I’ve learned today comes crashing down on me. “This is wrong. I need space. I need to think.”
“No,” he growls. “No more space.”
“You were with my mother!” I shout.
“I have not been with any female other than you.” His jaw ticks before his face shifts into a scowl. “We never made it to my nest.”
I stare at him agape. “Would you have had sex with her if you had?”
Noticing my rigidity, still trying to release myself from his grasp, he hisses. “What came before doessss not matter.”
“It does matter!” I twist out of his hold and stumble away. He snags my leg and tugs me back to him. “Stop that! I can’t do this right now.”
Something in my tone works because he releases me, and I scurry away to the other side of the room. I face him, and his frustrated bewilderment at a safe distance where he can’t reach me.
His hands open and close like he’s trying to control himself.
It makes sense now. He was only captured because he was with her. The only reason he’s here at all is because of her.
His face darkens, and the chains jangle as he advances as close as he can get to me. “We are not done. Come back to me.”
Part of me wants to, wants to forget everything he just told me. But I can’t. I shake my head and turn away.
He hisses and something in me snaps. I face him. “My father is the Supreme Commander of this ship and is the reason you’re here at all.” I inhale a cold breath, already missing his scent and the contact of his body and growing angrier because of it. “Maybe we shouldn’t trust each other after all.” I hate the sense of betrayal his revelation makes me feel and eager for him to feel like I do.
But as I say it, there’s only regret.
I shut him out before I can see his response. Curling onto my side on the hard floor, I close my eyes, and pray that when I wake next, he won’t be there.