Chapter 18
Thea couldn’t disguise the green, sick feeling of jealousy that shot through her, and continued to do so, as she hurried to her car and drove home.
This is stupid, she thought. She had no claim on Nick, other than as his friend.
If he wanted to kiss the glamorous and confident Tally under the mistletoe, then he was more than able to.
The rational centre of her brain made all of these arguments calmly as she commuted the short distance between Saints’ Farm and her house.
The emotional core of her body just screamed louder and made her feel nauseated.
She pulled into her driveway and hurried through the front door, relieved, finally, to be able to sit down at last. Waves of exhaustion washed over her, and she was so tired that the sight of Cora briskly filling the kettle and popping tea bags into two mugs, made her eyes fill with tears.
‘Thanks, darling,’ she murmured, placing a kiss on the girl’s forehead as she ambled into the living room and collapsed on the sofa. It felt like the most comfortable seat in the world after a long, long day.
‘Biccy?’ Cora called from the kitchen.
‘Two, please,’ Thea replied.
‘Must have been a tough night.’
You have no idea, Thea thought.
Five minutes later, she and Cora were sipping tea and deciding if there was enough time before bed to slip in a quick episode of Friends on Netflix.
That might be another thing that would have to go in the new year, so Thea decided that there definitely was time.
As Ross pined after Rachel for the umpteenth time, Thea wanted to scream at the television.
‘Everything been all right here?’ she asked.
‘Fine,’ Cora replied. ‘Dylan crashed out about half an hour ago, but he asked me to remind you that you said you’d get the Christmas decorations down when you got back.’
Thea groaned. ‘The last thing I feel like doing right now is going into the crawl space.’
‘I don’t mind doing it,’ Cora said eagerly.
‘Nope, sorry kiddo – there’s no way I’m letting you loose up a ladder!’
‘Well, you can break the news to him tomorrow, then,’ Cora said.
Thea sighed. She knew she should really stand firm on it, but she had promised Dylan.
‘Let me just finish this glorious cuppa and I’ll get the stepladder out.’
The two of them drank their tea in companionable silence, and as the credits rolled on the episode of Friends, Thea heaved herself back up from the sofa. ‘Can you hold the steps for me?’
‘Yeah.’ Cora ambled through and put the mugs in the dishwasher.
A short time later, Thea was trying to locate the two boxes of decorations, along with the artificial Christmas tree that she’d stowed in the crawl space a year ago. She wasn’t sure if it was tiredness or the darkness in the loft that was causing her to struggle.
‘Can you grab my phone, darling?’ she called down to Cora.
‘Yup. Hang on…’ Cora let go of the ladder and Thea waited. Then, just as Cora was returning, her phone started to ring.
‘Bit late for an actual phone call,’ Thea muttered, trying to stave off the inevitable sense of worry that the ringing phone evoked.
She was of a generation that always felt instinctively concerned when the phone rang after eight o’clock at night, and she hoped it wasn’t Lorelai on the other end, or Tristan.
Thankfully, caller ID on the mobile was a godsend in these situations.
‘Nick’s ringing you, Mum,’ Cora called up. ‘Do you want me to answer it?’
Thea nearly lost her footing on the stepladder. ‘Nope. Let it ring.’
Cora looked up quizzically. ‘Are you sure?’
The phone’s noise was becoming irritating now, and in her current state, Thea didn’t need any more provocation.
‘Yes,’ she said firmly. She really didn’t want to speak to him right now. She still couldn’t quite put her finger on why she was feeling so hurt: Nick could kiss whom he wanted under the mistletoe, but that didn’t mean she wanted to speak to him.
Cora passed her the phone, and she pressed the ignore button. Then, turning the torch on, she located the Christmas boxes, and the tree, and headed back down the ladder.
‘There you go, squirt,’ she said, passing the boxes to Cora. ‘That should keep your brother quiet.’
‘It’ll be worth it, Mum, I promise.’ Thea was surprised when her daughter leaned over and gave her a hug. ‘You seem really stressed right now, and we just want to make everything look really special for you, and for Christmas.’
Thea blinked back tears. ‘Thank you, darling.’ Sometimes, in the throes of adolescence, Cora could still surprise her.
‘Now, go and get in the bath and I’ll bring you another cup of tea.’
Thea smiled. ‘Sounds fab.’ She hurried into the bathroom, phone still in hand, but, as she dumped it on the windowsill before she turned the taps on, it rang again.
‘Not now, Nick,’ she muttered. She knew it was childish, but she couldn’t face talking to him after seeing him under the mistletoe with Tally.
If he’d told her he was interested in Tally (and why wouldn’t he be?), she’d have been fine with what she’d seen.
It was the fact that he’d kept that from her that was really annoying.
She felt as though they’d been rekindling their friendship while she’d been working at the shop, and that, by not being entirely straight with her, Nick hadn’t respected that.
Trying hard to put him out of her mind as she sank, a few minutes later, into a warm, scented bubble bath that felt like the height of luxury, she found that she couldn’t altogether shake her irritation.
She knew her trust issues were embedded deeply after Ed had so monumentally abused her faith in him, and she also knew that she was probably projecting much of that onto Nick.
Just because they were becoming friends again, it didn’t mean he had to tell her everything.
It was just that she did feel as though they’d had a couple of ‘moments’ of their own lately.
‘Do I fancy Nick?’ she asked herself. But then, was it really so ridiculous?
He was her age, in good shape, handsome, and available.
Well, maybe not after what she’d seen tonight.
Sighing, she ducked her head below the waterline, feeling the warmth closing over her head and creating the temporary illusion of peace.
If only she could stay underwater forever!
Rising back to the surface, she steeled herself not to grab her phone to see if he’d called again.
It could all wait until later. Tonight, all she wanted was to crash out into a warm bed and a dreamless sleep.