Chapter 13 The Calm
THE CALM
MAGGIE
Zeke couldn’t possibly know what his words did to me outside his truck.
Any encounter with Diana usually soured my mood for the next twenty-four hours, but when it came unexpectedly like that, it tended to be even worse.
No one had ever focused on me like he did in the heat of the moment.
Poor Celeste always tried to help me whenever I shared with her, but sometimes it was easier to keep Diana’s ugliness close to the chest.
And yet Zeke immediately stepped in to calm me.
His words lifted my spirit, getting me out of the downward self-hatred spiral I’d started, and kept me grounded.
If only Zeke’s promise to be my safe space could be true.
There was no way someone as good as him would accept my dark side.
I never wanted him to see that down at my core, I inherited every bit of Diana’s ugliness and then some.
Thankfully he stayed quiet on the drive.
I got the sense that Zeke wasn’t the type to fill long silences.
With the way he kept stealing glances my way, it almost seemed like he couldn’t believe I was real.
But I knew that couldn’t be true. He had only ever seen me as a walking disaster; he should have been running away, screaming, in the opposite direction.
The further we got from River’s Run, the more my bad mood lifted.
It was amazing how much distance could alleviate your problems. Bright sun paved the way out to Tybee Island, traffic relatively light for the season.
When Zeke offered to pull off the highway to stop at a Madden Market, as I promised Marla we would, fear suddenly gripped me that I would freak out again over seeing Wesley’s name—or worse, one of his advertisements.
It was hard enough to shield the fact that Wesley was now the face of Madden Markets from Celeste, but losing Wes hurt much like I’d imagined it would hurt to lose a sibling.
I didn’t need that when I already felt vulnerable.
Instead, we kept going, stopping at one of those little beach hut pop ups close to the ocean where they sold cheap swimsuits, towels, and kitschy tourist gifts.
The bathing suit I picked out for him would probably disintegrate if Zeke chose to wear it a second time, but he went behind one of the changing curtains all the same.
He told me to pick out anything I wanted or thought we might need, so I was happily filling a cart with extra beach towels, tanning lotion, sunglasses, and any other random thing I could find.
I stopped dead in my tracks when Zeke stepped out from behind the curtain.
The lime green suit was supposed to look ridiculous, something to make us both laugh, yet the way the shorts gripped his muscular thighs made me bite back a moan.
Abs with actual rivulets between them, making each tight muscle distinct and eye-catching, drew my attention.
A well cut V angled down underneath the waistband, and I had never wanted to follow a physical feature more.
Zeke’s biceps were huge and defined. One flex and he could choke the life out of me, but oddly, that thought only aroused me all the more.
I wanted to lick every inch of him. Then plaster a painted sign on both sides that labeled him as mine.
Where that possessiveness came from, I had no idea.
Slowly, with my mouth outright hanging open, I raised the sunglasses up to the top of my head, drinking in Zeke’s powerful form like it was the eighth wonder of the world. Which, it at least deserved a nomination for.
Zeke merely looked around self-consciously as if he were afraid someone might laugh at him.
“You are so fucking hot,” I breathed. My hands moved on auto-pilot, lightly tracing along his torso up to pecs hard enough to break glass.
I couldn’t fathom how many hours Zeke must’ve spent in the gym to earn a physique like this.
No wonder he could barely stomach the pancakes Celeste served this morning.
Men like this had to eat some kind of special protein diet, right?
At my words, Zeke flushed, his eyes darting to the ground in embarrassment. “Um…thanks. If you say so.”
I hated that he seemed so unsure of himself. Had no one ever told him that he qualified as the sexiest man alive? Seriously?
Words failed me as I continued to drink him in.
“Did you get everything you wanted?” Zeke nodded toward the shopping cart I had piled high with stuff.
I crinkled my nose apologetically. “Yeah, I usually just dump everything that catches my eye into the basket and then I sort through it at check out to decided what I can actually afford. Not the best shopping method, actually. Sorry.”
He shrugged. “You don’t have to ‘afford’ anything today. I’ll take care of it. Pick out whatever you want.”
A laugh escaped, only for me to realize a beat later that he didn’t join me. “Oh-you’re serious?”
“Of course. Why would I invite you out for the day if I wasn’t going to pay for everything?”
All of the soldiers Diana brought home were as broke as a joke. I didn’t want to out him, but I didn’t exactly believe the United States Army paid him what he deserved.
“I mean, I don’t want to spend all your money…” I let the sentence filter off, suddenly too awkward and shy to call him out on being poor. It wasn’t a foreign concept to me. We barely had two nickels to rub together my entire life.
Even Zeke’s frowns were sexy. As the wrinkles formed between his brows, the urge to kiss them away overwhelmed me.
“Maggie, I will never offer something that I can’t readily give.
” Zeke took a few steps towards me so that he towered over me.
Without my heels on, I had to crane my neck to look at him.
One big breath would send my boobs into his chest, and as much as I wanted to know how sensational that would feel, Zeke’s presence was also overpowering.
His eyes lasered me with a soulful gaze that had to reveal my deepest, darkest secrets to him.
I shivered, unable to back away without hitting the cart behind me. Not that anyone could want to back away from Zeke Hayes. Planets would rather orbit him than the sun.
My voice sounded small, even to my ears, as I explained, “I don’t want to be a burden to anybody.” When he didn’t respond after a moment, I glanced up at him through my lashes, an unreadable expression on his face.
“You’re not a burden, you’re a gift,” Zeke finally said. His tone indicated he would not hear another word on the subject.
My skin warmed at his praise. I wanted to bask in his opinion like a cat in the sun. He made me feel beautiful, and cherished, in a way that I hadn’t thought possible. If I wasn’t careful, I could fall for a guy like him. There’s only so much sex appeal and romance a girl can take.
Since I didn’t trust myself to speak over the lump forming in my throat, I simply nodded and turned back to the cart. “Well, I have everything I want. Is there anything else you’d like to get?”
“Nope. Let’s pay and get our toes in the sand.” He moved to stand beside me, gently throwing an arm in front of me so that he could commandeer the cart up to the register. The total came close to two hundred dollars, but Zeke didn’t bat an eye.
Finding parking with beach access proved to be difficult.
We had to drive around for a while, and the whole time I chewed on my thumbnail, waiting for Zeke to admit defeat, that taking me to the beach wasn’t worth the hassle of parking three miles away from the ocean.
He still wore the unreadable expression from the beach hut, but I was too scared of bursting the perfect bubble we were in to ask what was wrong.
You’re not a burden, you’re a gift.
I needed him to record it as a voice memo so I could play it on repeat forever.
His words were a lifeline in the storm, hooking me in and guiding me towards a warm light that offered safety.
The possibility of anyone seeing something good in me, something Diana never could, made me feel hopefully anxious.
I so desperately wanted to believe in their truth, even though the voice in my head insisted they couldn’t be. Optimism took root in my heart.
Once we found a spot, Zeke refused to let me carry anything.
“What kind of guy do you take me for?” he argued, pulling a large tote from my shoulder.
He lugged all of it, including two small beach chairs, all the way to the beach by himself.
I noticed the way Zeke naturally drifted away from large groups of people, so I pointed out a spot farther away from the water to set up.
He immediately plopped a chair down and ordered me to sit in it.
“You’re not to lift a finger, do you understand?”
“But I—”
“I said, do you understand?” He fixed me with a stern look that probably frightened the wits out of his soldiers.
“Yes, I understand.” I also understood the aching need building in my core from being with a man so authoritative.
While I always thought that would be an unattractive quality in a man—especially the losers I typically saw Diana submitting to—when Zeke did it, his firm demeanor made me want to jump to his bidding.
I wonder if he would be like that with other activities…
Besides, Zeke’s manner of command made me feel cared for and appreciated, not disrespected. It was entirely different, and surprisingly, enjoyable.
I settled back in my chair, lounging contentedly as Zeke laid out the towels and set up an umbrella along with a second beach chair next to me.
Waves crashing along the shore sounded like a lullaby ready to sing me to sleep.
It was peaceful, I realized, a feeling I hadn’t experienced in a long time.
He made me feel so comfortable in his presence that it set my mind at ease, allowing me to enjoy the moment without a mental breakdown over what parts of my body were visible.