Chapter 46
THE REMINDER
MAGGIE
I loved my new haircut. Kaitlin foiled in several shades of coppery red and light blonde to complement the rich brown tone we settled on as a base.
Losing all the hair took so much more than the weight of the length off my shoulders.
It freed me—I truly let go of Maggie Eaton, which made it that much simpler to embrace Maggie Hayes.
Maybe she was someone I could actually like.
The only difficult part proved to be ignoring the mirror during my appointment.
Kaitlin accommodated my request to have my chair turned away from her station, but due to the layout of the salon and the other hairstylists’ stations, I could still see angular reflections of myself.
I tried not to fidget as I forced myself to stare at my knees.
The brief glimpses I caught made me want to throw up.
When Kaitlin finished, I allowed myself one critical gaze at my reflection. The haircut and color suited my face. Somehow, I had developed a rosier complexion since moving to South Korea.
But I couldn’t pretend that my face didn’t appear fuller or that my shirt didn’t strain against my body where it had once been much looser.
My brain lashed out at the image. It took both hands for me to grip the chair hard enough to stop myself from bolting to their bathroom in the back of the salon.
I could go in there and complete a quick ritual, and Zeke would never know.
Thinking about Zeke and how much he wanted to make me happy—how much he was willing to do and sacrifice to make me feel beautiful—sobered the compulsion, though. I couldn’t do that to him. I couldn’t break his heart by slipping up when he made such an effort.
Once Kaitlin mentioned a job opening, it was easier to avoid the mirror and its dismal reflection.
She genuinely liked working there and said the owner was very understanding of Army wives’ schedules.
They would help me build up a clientele of my own so that I could work as much or as little as I wanted.
Another week went by with my days getting substantially brighter.
The salon manager, a robust woman named Seo-yeon who married an American soldier as a young woman and moved back to South Korea when he retired from Active Duty, hired me on the spot.
I would only work two or three shifts per week, but that meant I could easily maintain my therapy appointments.
Life never looked better. Until I managed my first Skype session with Celeste and Marla.
“Oh my word, look at you!” Marla gushed. “You’re as pretty as a picture!”
Celeste grinned from the seat next to her, a sleeping Iris on her lap. “Holy crap, do I miss you! Tell us everything.”
It was late at night back in River’s Run, meaning I had the apartment to myself while Zeke went to physical training with his unit.
Neither Marla nor Celeste had a computer, so we had to wait for a video call until Marla bought one for the bakery.
Seeing them, even little Iris, made me homesick in a way that turned my stomach in knots.
I felt like such a different person from the Maggie they knew. Everything had changed.
I laughed at Celeste’s giddiness. “I love it here. Our apartment is way bigger than anything we’d ever need. It’s too bad y’all can’t come visit. I just got a job at a salon, too! I start next week.”
“Congratulations, honey! That’s great.” Marla’s approval meant the world to me. As the only real mother figure I had, I wanted to make her proud. She and Barb would’ve gotten along well.
“How’s married life?” Celeste wiggled her eyebrows suggestively, making me roll my eyes in response.
“It’s great. Zeke and I are having a lot of fun exploring Seoul. We talked about maybe taking a trip to Japan over the winter holidays. Travel isn’t too expensive here and it’s actually not far from us.”
They both oohed and aahed theatrically. I was the first person from River’s Run to travel any farther than Florida, unless you counted Wesley. Taking a trip to Japan probably sounded as unbelievable to them as traveling back in time.
“How’s the bakery coming along, Marla?” I asked. “Zeke is so bummed he ain’t there to help!”
Celeste and Marla exchanged a loaded glance, and Celeste adjusted Iris guiltily on her lap.
“We might have hit a snag or two,” Marla finally confessed.
“What do you mean?” Another exchanged look made me huff in exasperation. “Just tell me!”
My best friend sighed in resignation. “What she means to say is there’s been some trouble getting everything done. Supplies keep disappearing, someone broke in and spray painted on the walls. Just stupid teens playing pranks!” Celeste waved her hand to dismiss the actions while my stomach sank.
Spencer.
He still thought I owed him money for the drugs I ruined. Since he couldn’t find me, he probably turned on Marla. It was just a matter of time before he started going after Celeste, too.
“I’m so sorry, Marla. How far did that set you back?” Guilt nibbled at my conscience as I debated whether or not to come clean.
She waved it off. “Don’t you worry about it. I wouldn’t set out to do something just to give it up over a little paint! Tell us all about Seoul. Don’t leave out a single detail! I have to live through you.”
We talked for close to an hour and although I participated in the conversation, I couldn’t focus on anything they said.
Spencer never did anything seriously violent against someone—that I knew of—but I also wouldn’t put it past him.
If he hurt either of them, I would never forgive myself.
My mind ran through reel after reel of possibilities, each one more gruesome than the last, all the way up to a horrific image of sweet, little Iris bleeding out on the floor of The Comfy Cushion.
That was how Zeke found me when he returned home to check on me before heading into work for the day. The laptop still sat open on the kitchen table in front of me as I stared into space.
“Trouble? Maggie, baby, what’s wrong?” Zeke kneeled on the floor in front of me, a look of concern maiming his beautiful face.
I blinked away the tears that threatened to fall and swept past him into my bedroom. “It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.”
Zeke stayed hot on my heels. “I don’t think so. The last time I came home and found you like this, I thought I might lose you. I’m not going through that again!” He grabbed ahold of my bicep to keep me in place.
“This isn’t the same thing,” I promised, “but it’s not something I’m ready to tell you yet, okay? I need you to respect me on this, Zeke. Please.”
His face fell at my plea and the guilt worsened. Slowly, his fingers loosened and he stepped backward. “I always respect you, Maggie. I just wish you would do the same for me.”
A sharp inhale of surprise escaped, but I made no effort to contradict him. There were simply some things I had to protect him from. Spencer Church happened to be one of them.
My mouth remained closed in a resolute line as the silence stretched between us. Giving in, he sighed and turned away, leaving me with a quivering bottom lip. I watched Zeke’s shape disappear down the hall, vision clouded with tears, until he walked out of sight.