21. Chapter 20
Chapter 20
Kaitlyn
Eventually, I did fall asleep. When you have a pillow like Griffin Shaw, it’s sort of inevitable. I don’t know how long he was awake before me. The minute I started to stir; he had a soft kiss waiting for the top of my head. I turned my body inside his arms to rest my head against his beating heart. It’s only then I notice Marilyn curled on the mattress on the other side of him. I can’t help but smile.
We lay like that for about thirty minutes before the overwhelming smell of coffee, waffles, and bacon came barreling like an amazing freight train up the stairs. While I showered to get my body moving, Griffin opted to help drain the first pot of coffee with Hilary and my father before she had to drive to Roanoke for the next couple of days for her hospital shift.
She was on her way out the door as I came downstairs, pulling my hair back into a wavy ponytail. “Did you save any coffee for me?”
“Do I value my sanity?” My father winks as he hands me the biggest mug I’ve ever seen. “So, what do you kids have planned for the day?”
“Well, we hadn’t really made a definite plan,” I add, looking over at Griffin, who’s got an ear on the conversation and an eye in his emails on his phone. “What do you think?”
“Well, you and I have a couple of contracts to review over waffles, then I was hoping you’d introduce me to your horses.”
I know the smile that appears on my face spreads from ear to ear. I must look like a fool, but I don’t care. I’ve missed my horses. “Yes, please!”
My dad sips his coffee with a grin. “Well, I’ve got some things to do around here. You kids have fun out there.” He walks by me and kisses the side of my head. “I love you, Pixie,” he whispers to me.
“I love you too, Dad.” I watch as he heads outside before sliding into my seat across from Griffin and immediately digging into the most delicious waffles I’ve ever had. “Mmmm,” I moan. “God, that’s good.”
Griffin smirks. “Where have I heard that before?”
I kick him underneath the table. “Shhh.”
“I was simply talking about the time you drank a proper cup of tea that I made you. Where was your mind? In the gutter?”
“That will have to remain a mystery.” I laugh. “Was the contract thing real or was that for my father to hear?”
“Tobias sent two things for us to look at regarding the ongoing negotiations I have in New York. There’s also a new prospect in London and in Los Angeles. I’d like you to be on the ground floor with those. I know there will be a learning curve.”
“Good thing I’m a quick study.”
“I never thought otherwise.”
“So, the horse thing. You can tack them up, right? I won’t have to do that for you?”
“I told you, Kaitlyn. Us having matching horses wasn’t an elaborate ruse. If you’d like, I can tack up for us both.”
“I’d thoroughly enjoy watching you do that.”
After we finish breakfast and I take a first glance at the contracts Griffin emailed to me, we head outside and take the short walk over to the stables. When we make it through the gate, I all but run over to the stall at the end where I know Rocket is waiting for me.
“Hey, handsome!” I say excitedly, giving his muzzle a good rub. “I’ve missed you so much.”
He huffs and wiggles his head, nudging against my touch. God, I hate being away from him so much. I really need to get back here more.
“Wow,” Griffin says when he approaches. “He’s gorgeous, Kaitlyn.” He tentatively reaches out his hand. “May I?”
“He’s quick to trust and an attention whore. You can absolutely pet him.” Griffin pulls a handful of carrots from his pocket, offering them to Rocket one at a time. “Bribery?”
“I’m no idiot. He’s another man in your life. I have to earn this, even if you say it will be easy. Hey there, mate. How are you?” Griffin slides his hand up and down his muzzle. With one little bob of his head, I know the deal is sealed.
“He likes you.”
“I’m glad. Who will I ride?”
“I think Spartan would suit you well. He was my mother’s horse. He’s Rocket’s best friend. They love going on trail rides together and basically running side by side if given the chance. Dad rides him when he can, and he’s who my brother-in-law takes when he and Gilly are here.”
“I feel honored to ride her prize. I’ll take good care of him.”
“I have no doubt about that.”
It doesn’t take long until I realize I was absolutely right. Watching Griffin place my saddle and make sure we are ready to go on the horses was basically like watching porn.
His sleeves ended up rolled to his elbows and a little sweat beaded his brow. Whew. I had to turn away a couple times to keep from making a noise when he grunted a little when exuding some strength.
“All right, I think we are ready to go,” he says, catching me staring. “What?”
“Huh? What?” I shake my head, clearing my very inappropriate thoughts. “Yeah, I’m ready. Let’s go.”
“What were you thinking about?” he asks, stopping me from walking by him with a hand to my stomach.
“Oh, nothing. Just excited to ride you. Wait, no, I mean, ride Rocket.” I push by him. “Stop being so sexy. It’s distracting me, okay?”
He tosses his head back and laughs. I love that sound.
“One night in my arms without it and you’re already in withdrawals. Seems like someone has it bad for her fake boyfriend.”
I roll my eyes at him. “I need to run to the restroom real quick before we take off. Can you be patient?”
“Hurry up,” he replies, playfully swatting my ass as I walk away. I yelp in return.
I was also so grateful my father had the forethought to make sure we had plumbing out in the stables. Working toilets for the win!
I do what any normal millennial does and take a few minutes to scroll my phone while in the silence of the bathroom. I sigh heavily after a couple of moments and go to put my phone away when it vibrates repeatedly in my hand. Mika has sent me multiple pictures, at least five or six, with one text attached.
Mika: Dude. What the fuck is wrong with people?
I open the first photo and see it’s a screenshot from a social media platform I refuse to use, and there’s a picture of Griffin and I kissing on our first “date,” but it’s the comments underneath that make my stomach twist into knots.
Who is this ugly bitch he’s with?
What a cow! He deserves better.
Someone should have put her down when she was born.
We obviously all know she’s a GOLD DIGGER!
I lock the screen and toss my phone onto the counter, unable to look at anything else. I try to tell myself over and over these are just trolls on the internet, but that doesn’t make their words hurt any less.
And that’s just the tip of the iceberg… I’m sure of it.
I take a minute to compose myself before going back out to meet Griffin by the horses.
“I was starting to wonder if you fell in,” he says.
I pull my sunglasses from the top of my head, slipping them on quickly before I get too close. “Nope. I’m good. We can go if you’re ready.”
My foot slides into the stirrup as I’m about to boost myself over top of Rocket when Griffin’s hand grips my knee. “Absolutely not. You were laughing when you left me four minutes ago. Now, you’re fine?” Griffin slides my glasses away from my eyes. “Wait. What is this?”
“What is what? Can we please just ride?”
“Have you been crying?”
“No. No. Allergies. The hay and such. I’m not used to it.”
“I see.” Griffin boosts me over Rocket’s back so I’m now five feet above him. “I hope you’ll tell me the truth when you’re ready.”
We’ve known each other less than three weeks and he can already tell when I’m lying? Fuck.
I lead us out into the pasture at a slow trot. The grass is nearly up to the bottoms of my boots. The wind blows warm across my skin with not a cloud in the sky. I shouldn’t have a care in the world, only the world is now looking at me…but not the me who’s real.
Griffin
When I was younger, I wanted to be able to fly or be invisible. Hell, if you’d asked me two weeks ago what my superpower would be, it would have still been one of those two answers.
But right now, I’d give anything to be able to read Kaitlyn’s mind. Something happened while she was in the bathroom and she won’t talk to me about it at all. My instincts tell me to push for an answer. That’s what I do in my professional life and have always done in my personal one as well, but this time, I don’t.
I just ride side by side with her until we reach the edge of a lake just a short distance from the stables.
“I’ve missed it here,” she finally says after riding mostly in silence unless directly spoken to.
“I can understand why. It’s peaceful,” I respond as I reach down and give Spartan a scratch on the head.
“Have you thought about what our breakup is going to look like?” she asks out of the blue.
“What?” I say because I’m genuinely taken aback by her question. I didn’t expect to have that conversation yet.
“Shouldn’t we have some kind of idea ready? I mean, it has to look real so your father doesn’t question the entire relationship, right?”
“Is that what you want to talk about when we have all this in front of us?”
“Will there ever be a right time, Griffin? I need to have things straight in my mind. I don’t do well with making it up as we go along.”
“You seem to have done well so far.”
“Why are you avoiding an answer?”
I take a deep breath then look off into the distance. “I wasn’t going to ask. I’ve done everything in my power not to, but…fuck it. You need to tell me what the fuck happened and we’re not leaving this spot until you do.”
Kaitlyn’s head whips around to look at me. “Back to beating your chest and ultimatums? Maybe I just break up with you and cite irreconcilable differences. I think that would be an easy sell.” She lightly kicks her heels into Rocket’s sides with a click of her tongue and the horse bolts off into a run, not only away from this conversation, but from me too.
“Fuck that,” I growl.
I kick my heels against Spartan’s sides and take off after her. She glances back at my way and when she sees that I’m coming after her, she pulls the reins and sends Rocket toward the right, off the trail and into a wooded area.
I make the same turn she does and tug on the reins hard when I see she’s stopped right at the foot of a large treehouse.
“Whoa, Spartan,” I say. “What the hell, Kaitlyn? I was trying to have a conversation with you…”
“Just give me a second, okay?” she replies, her voice cracking and her hands shooting up to wipe her face.
“I knew it.” I carefully dismount the horse and make my way to her side. “You’re crying.” I firmly, yet softly grip her thigh. “Come down here and talk to me.”
She blows a breath up toward her eyes in a vain attempt to dry them. I stroke the side of her knee with the back of my hand in a lame attempt at comforting her. “How do you do it? People know what you eat for breakfast. They know what size underwear you have practically. If you have spinach in your teeth, your dentist finds out. How the fuck can someone judge someone and make fucking assumptions when they don’t even know you? It’s bullshit and inhuman.”
I rest my forehead against her thigh. “You read them.”
“Yes and no,” I sigh. “Mika sent me a gallery full of screenshots. I’m a gold digger. I’m a cow. I’m uneducated. I’m ugly. They’re even going after my parents. It’s a bigger cesspool than I could have even imagined.”
“Fucking hell. Why would a friend send them to you? I’d think they’d want to protect you, not harm you. I’m going to have a little chat with several people when we get back.”
“No!” I yell. “That’s not your responsibility.”
“Taking care of you isn’t my responsibility? You’re my girlfriend. That lands you square in my responsibility.”
Hold on.
What did I just say?
Kaitlyn’s face is somewhat obscured by the sun shining down from above her. The silence seems to let me know what I’m afraid to see. She presses her weight into her right foot and dismounts Rocket. This is the first time I can see her clearly. Dried tears stain her cheeks, which are flushed pink by the sun.
“That’s what I was talking about, Griffin. Things seem…complicated. I think if we have the endgame in mind, it will be less confusing for both of us.”
The thought makes my heart constrict. I have to make a conscious effort not to place my hand on my chest to dull the ache. It hurts, but if that’s what she needs to feel better, if having that will help her, then that’s what I’ll give her.
“Maybe you’re right. It’s too open-ended right now.”
I can see her throat bob as she swallows, like she’s holding more tears at bay.
She nods. “Mika wasn’t trying to hurt me, Griffin. She was angry at the comments. She and I are very open with each other. She was just being a friend.”
I step up to her with an arm outstretched. “I’m going to hug you. Is that all right?”
She wipes her face with the back of her hand. “Just because we’re going to talk about the end doesn’t mean you have to ask to touch me. I’m giving you carte blanche.”
I barely hesitate to close the distance and wrap her in a hug, resting my chin atop the crown of her head. Even in her sadness, she radiates warmth. It’s a warmth unlike anything I’ve ever felt in my life. It’s not the warm body next to you after sex feeling. It’s more. So much more.
“My instinct has always been, even before we knew each other at all, to protect you. Please don’t expect me not to.”
“I know. Even when I get mad, I appreciate it.”
“As for your request, I can’t give you a date or time. What I can tell you is, it will be dignified and respectful of you, me, and our time spent together.” What I really want to say to her is that I can’t imagine a time where she won’t be by my side and in my life. It’s nothing she’ll be able to hear.
“I’m okay with that. I mean, other than things like this, we don’t fight. We’ll have to find private time to figure it out. Obviously, now isn’t the right time for a number of reasons.”
“Kaitlyn, right now, I only want to see you enjoy the time we have with your family. I know how much you’ve missed them and it fills your cup to be with them and in this place. I can see why. You have an amazing father.”
She smiles. “He is pretty incredible.”
I lean back a little and cradle her jaw in my hand. “I’m going to kiss you now.”
She rolls her eyes. “I just said you had carte—”
I cut her off, sealing my lips to hers.
Our time together just had the rip cord pulled. The clock is officially ticking, no matter how much I try to ignore it.