Chapter 9
CHAPTER 9
L ogan watched Jess slowly become conscious. He had carried her to her hut and laid her down on her sleeping bag. She looked waxen, and he knew that was from the shock of being wounded. He sat near her hip, legs crossed, catching her wandering gaze that was cloudy and confused. As she lifted her right hand, he caught it, giving it a squeeze, getting her a point of attention to focus on and follow back to lucidity.
Licking her lips, Jess squinted and looked up at him. The light within the hut was grayish and she frowned. “W-what happened?” She felt the warm roughness of Logan’s hand around hers.
“You fainted,” he told her quietly, watching her closely. “Remember? The Taliban attacking you? Max and Eli at the backhoe in the field?” Logan knew that trauma made the brain flood with shock. His heart contracted. Jess could have been killed in that attack. He couldn’t tell her how torn up he’d been when the call from Chris had come through while Logan was with the A-team. All he’d been able to think about was Jess being killed. He saw her brow wrinkle as she tried to remember. Often, that could take quite a while.
“Oh, crap,” Jess muttered, closing her eyes, rubbing her brow. And then her hand tightened around his. She opened her eyes and said, “Help me sit up?”
Logan slowly eased her into a sitting position. Her hair was dusty and strands had come loose from its ponytail. She looked exhausted. “Don’t do too much just yet,” he cautioned. “You went into shock after being shot in the arm. It’s a common reaction.” He saw Jess look over at her left arm with the tan bandage around the bicep. “Are you in pain?”
“I’m okay,” she managed, drawing her legs up to sit cross-legged. The door to her hut stood open, allowing a little fresh air in, but it was still almost as hot as an oven in there. “I’m so thirsty…”
“Here.” Logan offered her the line from his CamelBak. “Suck away.” He smiled a little into her dark green eyes. Logan could tell the weight of what had happened to her earlier was starting to land on her shoulders. Jess took the tube and drank deeply, which was good. She handed it back to him, wiping her mouth off.
“Thanks…”
“The medevac is on its way here,” he told her. “Should arrive in about twenty minutes.”
“I don’t need to go,” Jess uttered, scowling.
“Yes, you do,” Logan said patiently. He smiled a little. “LT Parker ordered me to go with you.” He picked up the broken hydraulic hose sitting nearby. “After you get checked out at the hospital, he’d like you to rest up overnight, then go over to Navy supply tomorrow and get a couple of these high-pressure hoses for the backhoe.” He saw her brighten. Jess was a workhorse. Devoted to what she loved to do.
“Oh,” she murmured. “Then… I don’t have to stay at the hospital at Bagram?”
“No. Just get checked out by a doc, is all. I’m sure they’ll put you on an antibiotics course for ten days or so. They may want to see how your wound is healing, so you might have to go back one more time.”
“That’s not so bad then,” Jess murmured. She brightened more. “And you get to go with me?” She saw how serious Logan looked, his eyes holding worry for her.
“Yeah, I’ll be you’re big, bad guard dog,” he teased, smiling a little. “We’ll fly out shortly and come back tomorrow night.”
Jess started to lift her left arm. Pain instantly attacked her. Groaning, she held her wounded arm against her body. “Wow, that hurts.”
He nodded. “It’s better than the bullet getting lodged in your body. Through-and-throughs go through a lot of muscle, though. You’re going to feel pain for at least six weeks. And you won’t have full use of that arm, either, until then.”
“Good thing I’m right-handed,” Jess said, shaking her head. “Is everyone else okay, Logan?”
“Yeah, you were the only one injured.”
“Why did they attack us?” and she searched his face, seeing the hard line of his mouth thin even more.
“The two Taliban you shot, are dead. We wanted to ask them the same thing. We frisked them for papers, maps and identification. LT Anderson is handling that. It appears that these men are part of Qader Khogani’s Hill tribe army, but he’s got to get confirmation from Bagram. We took photos of the corpses, and he sent them into Special Forces HQ there and we’re waiting to hear back from them.” Jess became grim. She’d been shot and she had killed two men. Logan wondered if she’d ever had to do that before. If she hadn’t, then he knew a strong reaction in Jess would be coming, and he was glad he’d be the one who was at hand in case she had a meltdown. First-time kills were hard on everyone. And she was in the business of doing good things for poor people, not going into combat situations. Until now.
“What does it mean?” she asked hollowly.
“It means Khogani’s in the area.” Which wasn’t good. “But we have daily fly-by satellite intel, so don’t worry too much.”
Snorting, Jess said, “Well, fat lot of good the satellite did. They didn’t spot them in time to see this latest attack coming.”
“I know, Chris found them first, and that’s the importance of a sniper team in a hot area,” Logan soothed. “LT Anderson is requesting a drone, but they’re harder than hell to get. I don’t know what will happen. I hope we get one. It will be a lot more reliable an eye-in-the-sky than a satellite passing over the area once a day.”
“High-tech war,” Jess agreed, weary. “I need to pack my go bag with some clothes, Logan.”
He slowly got up. “Let me help you pack? You aren’t going to be able to use that arm right now.”
He was right, Jess discovered. Logan put her civilian clothes, a night gown and a fresh set of cammies and dry, clean socks into her bag. He already had the set of orders from LT Parker on him, so they were good to go. She continued to wear her dusty set of cammies for now, making sure she had her .45 pistol safed before boarding any helo. He insisted on taking off her Kevlar vest and putting the chicken plate in it. As he helped her back on with the heavy vest, Jess didn’t argue. As unarmored as she’d been when the Taliban had attacked, had that bullet hit her body mass instead of her arm, she might not be alive. The thought sobered the hell out of her. Logan slipped his hand beneath her right elbow and led her out into the dusk.
“I guess everyone knows I fainted,” Jess groused, embarrassed. She found herself a little wobbly, and glad for Logan’s steadying hand.
“Yeah, but don’t worry about it. They understand. Men faint, too. It’s an equal-opportunity issue.”
“I’ll never live it down with my crew.”
Logan chuckled and shook his head. “Jess, they’re just relieved you’re going to be okay. You’ll earn a Purple Heart out of this for your personnel jacket.”
She grimaced. “Has someone informed my parents?”
“Yes. They know you were wounded and that you’re going to be okay.”
“I’ll call them once I get to Bagram. They’re probably beside themselves with worry.” She looked up, noticing it was almost dark. Logan was carrying his ruck, M4 rifle and her go-bag knapsack. Jess didn’t like feeling helpless; it just wasn’t in her DNA. “Can’t I at least carry my go bag?” She watched him grin down at her.
“Not a chance. I need you to rest and relax. Okay?”
They walked out of the village proper, the mountains already dark, the sky fading to night. There were three Special Forces sergeants at the helo landing area, armed and on watch. Jess was relieved, although her gaze kept scouring those hills the Taliban had charged out of toward their position. The wind was cool and she shivered.
“It won’t be long before the medevac arrives,” Logan told her, wishing he could tuck Jess’s shoulders beneath his arm and hold her close. He could already hear the chopping sounds of blades off in the distance, coming their way. The A-team men had already thrown green chem lights in a circle so the helo would know where to land. Medevacs would rather pick up wounded at night, giving them cover, very few of the Taliban having night-vision capability. It meant less chance of bullets or, worst-case scenario, an RPG hitting their Black Hawk Army helicopter.
Jess nodded, suddenly highly emotional for no reason at all. Was this how it always felt after being shot? Did everyone go through these kinds of feelings? Absorbing Logan’s closeness, she was glad Brad Parker had allowed him to go along with her. Right now, she was feeling shaky, her knees weakening. Logan must have sensed it because he slid his arm around her waist, drawing her against him. His warmth was fortifying, and she sighed.
“How did you know?”
Logan looked down at her shadowed face. Her eyes were dull looking. “Because I care about you, Jess.” Hell, he wanted to say that he was falling in love with her, but that wasn’t a topic to be spoken about right now. She was battling her reactions to being wounded, emotionally vulnerable. Her soft mouth curved faintly, and he felt his heart swell. “You can lean on me any time you want, Babe.”
His guttural words flowed through her, making her feel less vulnerable. As they approached the cleared area where the medevac would land, the three Army black ops soldiers were standing, backs to them, scanning the area through their NVGs and M4 scopes. She didn’t have a pair of the goggles, but Logan drew his own set down over his eyes, flicking them on. She heard the Black Hawk coming, its heavy, puncturing beat disrupting the cooling night air. As she stood beneath Logan’s arm, Jess felt protected. One of the soldiers threw another green chem light into the center of the circle as an additional bullseye for the pilot to zero in on. They weren’t bright enough to be seen by the enemy, but a pilot wearing NVGs would see them standing out brightly in the darkness.
Logan knew that this was a three-line flight for the medevac. That meant that it, and the patient, were not critical. More than likely, there would be the two pilots, the air-crew chief and one medic on board. It was a relatively easy flight for them in the realm of their work-load responsibilities. And hopefully, no one would start shooting at them as they landed or took off. He saw Jess pull her left arm against her body, her lips thinning. She wasn’t one to complain, and Logan knew he was going to have to read her body language, and the tone of her voice, to keep tabs on where her condition was at. Otherwise, she wasn’t about to tell him she was in pain. He hoped the other surprise he had ready for her once they landed at Bagram would make her happy. He’d see.
Jess sat strapped in on one of the two jump seats in the rear of the cabin of the Black Hawk. The medic had checked her out once on board and declared her stable. He’d fashioned her a triangular sling to put her left arm in, easing the constant pain. Jess refused the Ibuprofen the medic wanted her to take. She’d only just recovered from a fogged brain, and didn’t want to go back. Being the fragile-goods delivery, she was allowed to sit in the jump seat instead of on the deck like everyone else. Wearing a helmet, she was on the ICS, inter cabin system, and was able to hear the pilots talking to Ops and to the tower at Bagram. Logan sat on the deck, his back against one of the Black Hawk’s sliding doors.
Tiredness leaked through her. How badly she wished she could be alone with Logan. Jess had stayed overnight at Bagram before and knew she would go to the women’s barracks on the base and Logan would go to the men’s barracks. They’d be separated. Right now, the way she felt, all she wanted to do was crawl into his arms, go to sleep with him and be held. But it wasn’t going to happen. Once they landed, she’d first be taken over to the hospital Emergency Room and checked out. Then, she’d get a bus over to the women’s barracks. Jess tried to fight the longing she felt for Logan. The cabin of the Black Hawk was utterly dark. Everyone but her wore NVGs. She closed her eyes, feeling the burn of tears beneath her eyelids, desperately choking down the need to cry.
Logan never left her side in the ER. It was a busy place, and he seemed to know it all too well. The nurse who took her to the cubical and, later, the red-haired woman doctor who checked her wound, both gave Logan long looks, but said nothing. Even though patients were supposed to be treated alone in the ER, SEALs were given leeway, Jess figured. And the look on his face as he leaned against the wall, his M4 hanging in its harness across his chest, probably detoured them away from saying anything, as well. She felt Logan’s protectiveness, a silent embrace, and she hungrily absorbed it, more than glad he was with her. The doctor wrote her a script for antibiotics, a full container of them, and then the nurse gave her a set of orders to come back in six weeks for a final exam.
Leading Jess outside the doors of the ER, Logan guided her toward the bus stop not far away. It was chilly and he’d retrieved her jacket and helped her put it on. And then he rearranged the sling for her arm, which gave her much relief from the pain. At the bus stop, Jess turned to him. The base was most alive at night. There were two separate landing zones: an airstrip for fixed-wings, and many circular, concrete pads for helicopters. The roar of jets was nearly constant, the very air vibrating from the noise.
“How are you doing?” Logan asked, standing behind her to shield her from the wind. Jess was spiraling down. He’d seen it in the ER. The shock was really hitting her now.
“I’m whipped,” she admitted, turning, looking up into his shadowed eyes. Jess could literally feel the heat rolling off his body, he was that close to her. And she didn’t care who saw them. She knew fraternization wasn’t allowed. And Logan didn’t care either. But then, Jess knew SEALs more or less made up their own rules… and no one challenged them.
“I have a surprise for you.” Logan saw her eyes widen. He smiled. “A good one,” he amended.
“I could stand some good news,” Jess uttered. “What is it?”
“When the bus comes,” he said, watching her expression carefully, “we’re going to tell the driver to drop us off at the conjugal unit building.”
Her eyes widened enormously. Jess turned, staring up at him, her lips parting. “But… that’s only for MARRIED men and women, Logan. We aren’t married!”
Giving a nonchalant shrug, he murmured, “They don’t know that. We walk in, you show your orders. We’ll have a nice room with a bathroom and shower. What isn’t there to like about that?” and he gave her a wolfish smile.
“But… they’ll know.”
Logan gave her a patient look. “Babe, you haven’t been around Bagram enough to know how things work here. The clerk at that desk, once they see I’m a SEAL, they can’t say anything except give me the key to the room. Okay? Unless, of course, you don’t want me to hold you while you sleep with me?”
She scowled, considering the suddenly sprung stealth mission. “I’d love to be with you, Logan. You know that. But, I’m worried. If someone wants to see a marriage license, demands to see my wedding ring…”
“You’re SUCH a worrywart,” Logan accused gently, leaning over, kissing her brow. “Let me handle this. Okay?”
“Okay,” Jess muttered, shaking her head. “We could get into a lot of trouble, though, Logan.”
“We won’t,” he reassured her. “Here comes the bus….”
Jess felt suddenly shaky. But it wasn’t from shock. It was from the hope that Logan could really pull this off. The look on his face, that unshakable confidence that was always there, gave her hope. After all, who was going to question a SEAL? They had a fierce reputation and, although she hadn’t been around them much at all yet, their legends preceded them. One just did not screw with them. SEALs had their ways….
The Army clerk behind the registration desk at the conjugal unit didn’t say a thing as Logan filled out the form and handed it back to her. Jess tried to look relaxed as if they did this sort of thing all the time. Inside, however, she was sweating bullets. Logan looked like the most relaxed person in the word. Jess kept looking at the clerk, to try and spot suspicion on her face, but there was none. When the clerk handed Logan the key and they were safely on their way to the elevators at the rear of the building, Jess finally let out a long breath.
“See?” Logan said, once they got into the elevator to go to the third floor.
“You’re either the luckiest damned man in the world, or that SEAL uniform of yours really did do the trick,” Jess accused, grinning over at him. There was no small amount of pride dancing in his eyes. The elevator stopped on the third floor. He gave her a boyish grin and led her out the doors and down the highly waxed hall.
“I’m lucky to have you ,” Logan rasped, kissing her lips lightly before turning the key and opening the door.
Ushering Jess into the large, nicely appointed room, Logan smiled and shut and locked the door behind them. He saw her look around with amazement in her expression.
“Like it?”
“Well, it’s not the Marriott, but it’s a lot better than I ever thought it could be.”
“Far better than a hard-packed dirt floor and a sleeping bag, eh?” Logan threw the keys on the dresser. There were dark green drapes drawn across the windows. He turned, watching her reaction.
“I’ve always heard of places like this,” Jess murmured, “but I never dreamed I’d be in one of them.”
Logan stowed their gear in one corner. “We have a 2100 hour flight out of here tomorrow night. That means we can sleep in, catch a late breakfast at one of the chow halls, get over to Navy Supply, and then plenty of time left over to come back here.” He gave her a feral look. “I hope you’re ready to be sufficiently loved by me?”
Her whole body went white hot over the look Logan gave her. “More than ready,” she promised, her voice low as she held his burning gaze.
Logan led her to the bathroom that had not only a large shower, but a bathtub , a rarity indeed in the military world. The pink tiles gleamed. Everything was neat and clean. “Do you want some help getting out of your clothes?”
Jess nodded. “Yes.”
“What’s your arm doing?”
“Aching, but that’s all. Nothing to write home about.” Jess sat down on a small stool just outside the bathroom door. As she leaned down to start to untie her combat boots, Logan knelt down and did the job for her. “I can do that,” she protested.
“Hush. Tonight, and tomorrow, Jess, I’m going to spoil you rotten. Let me help you. I know what a bullet in the arm does. And frankly,” he growled, meeting her eyes, “I don’t want you aggravating it. I want your focus on us, not it. Let me do the heavy lifting around here for now, okay?”
Her heart warmed and she watched his long fingers fly over the shoelaces, quickly opening the boot so she could pull her foot free. “Okay,” she whispered, suddenly choked up by his fierce care of her. “I guess I’m so used to doing things for myself, I don’t know how to be a team person.” She saw his sensual mouth curve and it sent heat straight down to her womb.
“SEALs are nothing but teamwork.” Logan patted her leg gently and moved to the other boot. “And you’re a team player, Babe. I’ve seen you out there with your drilling rig. Your crew loves you.”
In no time, Logan had her undressed, standing naked before him. He checked the waterproof bandage the nurse had placed around her arm to make sure it was properly sealed. Moving his hands lightly across her shoulders, he saw a number of bruises probably gotten when she’d hit the ground during the firefight. Jess was beautiful, and it took everything for Logan not to just pick her up, place her on the bed and love her. “Come on,” he urged, leading her into the bathroom. He picked up a washcloth, opened a bar of soap and put it in the shower tray for her.
“Will you do me a favor?” Jess asked, feeling no embarrassment at being naked in front of him. She saw the desire burning in his eyes.
“Anything. What do you need?” Logan asked, gently pulling the rubber band off her ponytail, allowing the dusty strands to fall around her shoulders. He saw her gaze become warm.
“Shower with me? Wash my hair? I can’t get this damn arm even above my shoulders.”
He grinned. “Thought you’d never ask. Go ahead and start. I’ll join you in a minute….”
The shower was steamy as Logan entered. Jess had wet her hair and it lay in thick, heavy strands across her neck and the tops of her shoulders. Logan saw the dark smudges appearing beneath her eyes, knew she was slowly crashing. Taking the shampoo, he gently and thoroughly washed her hair first. Then, lathering the soap, he washed the rest of her. Logan saw how much her arm pained her, yet Jess said nothing. But the thinned line of her lips told him everything; she was not a whiner or complainer about pain. When he had finished with her, he washed himself. If it had been any other circumstance, Logan would have taken Jess right then and there, in the shower. But not now.
Shutting off the shower, he held her hand as she stepped out. Gathering a thick white towel, he drew it across her shoulders and guided her to the small, cushioned stool. Grabbing another towel, he dried her wet hair. With her direction, he dug into her go bag, finding her comb and brush. Logan wanted to tell her how satisfying it was to comb through her straight, thick hair. He thought he saw tears in her eyes but wasn’t sure. Jess had bowed her head down and he couldn’t see her expression as well as he wanted. He began to carefully pat dry her shoulders. It was then that he felt her quiver, as if she were holding herself back tightly.
Kneeling in front of her, he placed one finger beneath her chin and gently tilted her head up slightly. His heart contracted. Jess was trying to stop from crying. “Hey,” he murmured, standing up, “stop fighting the tears, Jess. Come on…,” and he slipped his arm beneath her knees and back.
“I-I’m sorry, Logan,” she quavered unsteadily, pressing her face against his neck and jaw as he effortlessly unfolded up from a crouch, bringing her with him.
He kissed her hair, smelling the scent of vanilla in the strands. “No apologies, Babe. You’ve been through hell today. I’ll take you to bed and just hold you. Okay?” and he walked into the darkened room, gently depositing her on the bedsheet. Logan saw the misery in her expression. He turned the light off in the bathroom, throwing the room into utter darkness. Hearing Jess sniff, his mouth compressed. Climbing into bed, Logan brought up the sheet and blanket. Jess crawled into his arms, her body against his, her wounded arm resting across his torso. She burrowed into his shoulder, and he could feel her warm, wet tears plopping onto his flesh. Sliding an arm around her, he held her close. Logan could feel the tension she carried, knew it was the shock working its way up and out of her. His heart bled with sympathy because Jess wasn’t used to violence. Few people were. The SEALs lived and trained for it, so their reaction was much different from someone like Jess.
“It’s okay, Babe, just let it go. Get it out of your system,” he urged gruffly against her damp hair. Logan moved his palm down her shoulder, skimming her upper back, and heard the first real sob tear out of her. Closing his eyes, he gently held Jess. When a person’s fabric of calm reality was ripped away from them, the terror of the violence behind it shredded them emotionally. Pressing small kisses to her hair, to her wet cheek, Logan absorbed her weeping.