24. Alex
24
Alex
“ O kay, we’ve got Twizzlers, Skittles, Sour Patch Kids, Blow Pops, three different flavors of potato chips, trail mix, mini donuts, Snoballs…” Gabby giddily pokes through a large reusable shopping bag. Today, we’re driving out to my parents’ anniversary dinner. I told her to grab some snacks for the road while I got gas for our trip, but I think she may have gone overboard.
“Snoballs?”
“What? You’ve never heard of them? They’re little chocolate cakes that have some sort of cream in the middle. Then they’re topped with marshmallow and covered in coconut.”
“Holy sugar rush! You’re going to put us in diabetic comas before we hit the interstate!”
“Don’t be so dramatic.” She brushes me off. “We’ll spread this out over the course of the trip going there and then stock up again on the way back.”
“You sound like you have this all planned out.” I’m happy she’s excited about this little adventure of ours. It feels like we’ve been getting even closer ever since that epic kiss at The Local. We’ve run into each other several times this week and she has kissed me every single time. This whole letting-her-call-the-shots thing has turned out to be pretty sexy. It wasn’t that I had planned it that way, but all in all, I love watching her confidence grow. I have no doubt that the drive will be the best part of this trip. Hopefully, the family dynamic will go smoothly, but typically that’s never the case. One thing is for sure. Having Gabby with me will definitely make it more manageable.
“That’s because I do. Seriously, Alex, you’re acting like you’ve never been on a road trip before.” I pull out of the gas station while she rummages around in her bag of goodies.
“I’ve been on road trips before, and I’ve bought snacks for the occasion. But I didn’t expect you to buy out the entire convenience store.”
“Then you shouldn’t have left me unsupervised,” she says with a piece of licorice dangling from her mouth. Chuckling, I pull it out and start snacking on it.
“Okay, now give me the rundown on your family.” She settles back in her seat with a bag of trail mix.
I let out a loud sigh. I’ve been putting off telling Gabby about my family, but there’s no time like the present. While she knows some generic information, I’ve purposely left out the nitty-gritty details—the stuff I tell no one. But since she’ll be there with me, meeting everyone, she needs to be prepared. “Well, you’re already aware of who my mom and dad are. My mom’s name is Elena and she’s from a town right outside of Mexico City, and my dad, Bob, is from Vancouver. The British Columbia Vancouver, not the one in Washington.”
“Gee. You don’t say,” she deadpans.
“You’d be amazed at how many people confuse the two. Anyway, you know about their job backgrounds, so I’ll skip to my siblings. The oldest is Victoria. She’s a production assistant at the news station where my parents work. She’s married to Seamus, who’s from Ireland. They have five kids. Next comes Roberto.”
“As in the Spanish version of your dad’s name?” Gabby laughs. “It’s still hilarious to think that your dad’s name is Bob Jones.”
“It’s the closest my dad could come to getting a junior.” I shrug. “Roberto does the lighting for the TV station. He’s married to Roberta and they have one son…Robert.”
“Stop!” Gabby giggles, nearly choking on her trail mix. “You’re making this up.”
“Oh, trust me. I wish I were.” I keep my eyes focused on the road ahead. I know if I turn to look at her, I’ll start laughing too. What’s even worse is that my family doesn’t understand why their names are so funny. Sometimes, I feel like I’m the only family member with a sense of humor, which is another reason why I feel like an outsider.
“Okay. Okay.” She tries to take a few calming breaths. “Who’s next?”
“Lilliana.” I can’t help but smile at her name. She is, by far, my favorite sibling and I am so eager to introduce her to Gabby. “She’s the one who’s the psychologist. She’s single and doesn’t have any kids.”
“Aww,” Gabby coos. “I guess you’re close to her?”
“Yeah. I mean, if there’s any sibling I wish I lived near, it’s Lilli. We share the same birthday, only ten years apart.”
“Wow! Was she mad to share her birthday with her little brother?”
“Not at all. According to my parents, she was so excited for me to be born. She called me her birthday gift. It was like I was her baby. She carried me all over the place, fed me, and played with me. She was the only one who could get me to finish my green beans.” I shudder.
“You hate green beans.”
“I did back then and I still do, but for some reason, if Lilli asked me to eat them, I’d gobble them up like they were candy. I swear, my sister had some sort of magical powers.”
“Is Lilli the reason you always go back home for your birthday?”
“Yeah. I joke and say it’s because I’m my parents’ favorite. But the truth is, I like to go back and celebrate with my birthday buddy.”
“Has she ever come to celebrate with you?”
“She would, but my parents would make a big deal out of it. My family likes to do everything together and since they all live within twenty minutes of each other, it’s just easier for me to go there. The Joneses like to stand as a united front. They’re not happy that I broke away from the herd.” More like I escaped a totalitarian-run household, but I leave it at that. It’s probably best to ease Gabby into all of this.
“But you left because you didn’t want to be in the spotlight.” This was also a huge reason for leaving and something Gabby and I had touched upon. I’m not into the fame and fortune thing, which is something my parents and siblings have a terrible time understanding. I enjoy the anonymity out in Starboard Beach, and I love helping people when I can, but unlike the rest of the Joneses, I don’t need any fanfare or special recognition for my good deeds.
“Exactly. They still don’t see it that way. They act like I abandoned them.” I make the huge mistake of turning my face to look at Gabby, who has traded in her trail mix for some flavor of Blow Pop. While she’s innocently enjoying a piece of candy, the sucking sounds she makes can easily be interpreted as something else. This could be a very long weekend .
“Do you feel like you abandoned them?”
“What? Oh, yeah. Sometimes,” I answer her question as it pulls my mind out of the gutter. “Okay, a lot of times I feel guilty that I left. But a few hours back home usually remind me why and then I’m good again for a while.”
“Okay.” Gabby senses my discomfort. “Let’s get back to the topic at hand. We’ve already discussed Victoria, Roberto, and Lilliana. Who’s next?”
“Next in line is Isabella. She is a math genius and financial advisor just like her husband, Tony. Which reminds me. If one of them corners you and starts talking about stocks and bonds, send me some kind of signal and I’ll come rescue you. Trust me on this one: they’ll bore you to tears.”
“Noted. Who’s next?”
“Luis.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever heard you mention him.” Now she’s crunching on the candy, revealing what looks to be some sort of gum in the middle.
“That’s probably because the guy is less interesting than watching paint dry.”
“Stop!” Gaby giggles. “I’m sure he can’t be that bad.”
“Luis is an entomologist. No one has anything in common with him.”
“Wait! Isn’t that a person who studies bugs?”
“Oh, he doesn’t just study them. He lives for them. His house looks like a laboratory. I’m sure if some sort of ant colony needed a leader, he’d be the next one to fly the Joneses’ coup.” While she’s laughing and trying to blow a bubble now, I pause and reflect on my family for a moment. Man, we’re such an odd crew.
I’m usually a mess when I go back to visit my family. With the exception of Lilli, I’ve always felt like an outsider. I should be feeling vulnerable about letting Gabby see this part of me, but I don’t because somehow, she gets me and that’s all that matters.
“On second thought, forget what I said about ignoring Isabella and her husband. It’s better to get stuck listening to the latest trends in IRAs than getting a lecture on the mating habits of dung beetles.”
“Alejandro, I swear, if you’re telling me stories to make me look crazy when I meet them, I’m going to be so pissed off at you.”
“I’m telling the truth,” I say in defense. “Trust me, my life is stranger than fiction.”
“Sounds like it,” she says, but I know she doesn’t fully believe me. I wouldn’t believe it either. Except I was born in this family. “Is Luis, the entomologist, married?”
“Yes, to his work.”
“Gotcha.” Gabby toys around with the air conditioning vent. “Who comes after Luis?”
“Ugh. Angel.” I cringe.
“Oh boy. I take it that he doesn’t live up to his namesake?”
“To the outside world, yes. But he’s hated me since the day I was born. He was the baby of the family until I came along.”
“Ah, so he was jealous of you.”
“Yeah, but it’s not like I did anything to provoke him. I was just, you know, born.”
“That’s normal with older siblings. I remember feeling jealous toward Mari. Her birthday was in January and with mine in March, it always felt like she got to celebrate first.”
“Uhh…you know it doesn’t work like that.”
“I know that now.” She playfully slaps me on the shoulder. “But as a little kid, it always felt like her birthday came first. So what did big brother Angel do to you?”
“When we were little, he told me there were monsters under my bed, my toys always ended up mysteriously broken, or my artwork would have squiggly lines drawn over it. We’d play hide-and-seek and he’d accidently forget I was playing and leave me wherever I was for hours.”
“Hours?!”
“I take hide-and-seek very seriously.” Lilli stands by her theory that Angel was intimidated of me since I was the baby of the family. His fear of being outshined led to his sinister behavior. “It got worse when we got older. When I was a freshman in high school, he was a senior. He stole every girlfriend I had.” I nearly spit out the last sentence.
“That’s awful! Did your parents ever intervene?”
“Nope. I could never prove anything. Angel was too smart to leave behind evidence. If my toy broke, it was because I left it out somewhere it didn’t belong. My ruined artwork? He slipped holding a marker. The times he forgot to find me during hide-and-seek? Purely accidental. And then later with the girlfriends? Well, why date a freshman when you can date a senior and captain of the football team.” Yep. My mom actually said that. Reliving this is making my head hurt.
“That’s terrible!” Gabby gasps.
“The only one who ever cared or believed me was Lilli. But her word wasn’t enough. Angel had and still has everyone wrapped around his finger.”
“I’ll be sure to keep my distance.”
“Yeah. Please do. He’ll try to seek you out. I have no doubt about it. His trophy wife, Camilla, is also an evil villain. It’s like they gain extra power by putting other people down.”
“Uh-oh. Is she one of your exes that he stole?”
“God no. I would never date a venomous snake like her. She and Angel met in college, but Camilla dropped out once they were married. She stays at home with their three perfect kids in their Pinterest-worthy 8,000-square-foot house. They’re so freaking fake .” Yep, that sums up most of my family…fake. I shake my head in disgust.
“You forgot to mention what he does for a living.”
I can’t help but roll my eyes as I respond. “He’s a criminal defense attorney.”
“Sounds like that’s the perfect profession for him.”
“It is. Just make sure to take whatever he or Camilla says to you with a grain of salt.” I reach across the center console to give Gabby’s hand a squeeze. Her touch alone does me a world of good as my pulse rate begins to relax. For the first time ever, I’m going into a family event with confidence and I know it’s because Gabby has my back.
“I promise,” Gabby reassures me and gives my hand a loving squeeze back.