Chapter 17 #2
I climb the slippery stairs to the terrace very carefully.
I try to clear my mind of what just happened with Cam.
For all it was the best kiss of my entire life, maybe I should not have kissed him.
I’m a terrible person. He is trying to help me while I am trying to seduce him.
He will get sacked if we are discovered.
My lust for him is overriding my ability to make sensible decisions.
My heart is beginning to rule my head for the first time in my life and it scares me.
I shake the thoughts away. I must concentrate on what evil thing Porscha has in store for me next.
I reach the terrace to see Giovanni is waiting with our drinks.
He is lounging on a daybed scattered with giant brightly covered cushions.
He has arranged himself as though he is posing for a men’s magazine shoot.
I look at the two mocktails perched on the coffee table.
In hindsight, I wish we had picked a better code name than pineapple because while the fruit itself is pleasant enough, I’m not a fan of the juice.
‘Thank you,’ I say, sitting down on a cushion beside him.
I tuck my legs underneath me and try to get into a position that is vaguely comfortable.
Whoever designed this thing has obviously never had to sit on one.
Giovanni stares at me, grinning, while I wait for him to start the conversation. ‘After you,’ I say.
‘After me, what?’ he says as though I’m flirting with him.
‘After you, as in you can go first to talk.’
‘What do you want me to say?’ he asks, still grinning as though there is some hidden meaning.
‘Whatever you want.’
He looks panic-stricken.
It’s as though the man has never before taken part in a conversation.
I roll my eyes. ‘Tell me about this novel you’re writing. Does it have a feisty protagonist with a tragic character arc? How many POVs are you writing in? Are you in first draft or is it polished and ready to go? I’m sure you’ll have no end of publisher offers at the end of this show.’
I sip my drink, urgh, and wait for him to reply. And wait. And wait. He is struggling to think of an answer.
‘Yeah man, like that was pretty dope. Sick, yeah. You get me?’
I’m a little startled, to be honest.
‘Are you… are you answering the question I asked, or is this the answer to another question? One that I haven’t asked?’
He looks uncomfortable.
‘I was asking about your novel. You know, the one you said you’re writing?’
He remains blank.
‘The romantasy? The romantic fantasy?’
Nothing. There’s nothing behind his eyes to suggest any hint of understanding.
It’s no use. I’m going to have to administer some basic nursery-style communication. I point to myself. ‘I like reading books.’ I point to him. ‘You like writing books.’
Giovanni looks grateful. I wonder if he is nervous about all the cameras, and it is making him forget all his basic motor skills. ‘You like books, yeah?’ he manages, clutching for conversation. ‘That’s cool, bro.’
‘Libby. My name’s Libby. And just for the record, we’re not siblings.’
He pauses to stare blankly at me as though I’ve just explained how to do quadratic equations. I will help him. After all, I am a teacher. Like the police, iPhone call centres and other emergency services, we are never off duty.
‘Stories are essentially the building blocks of humanity. The basis of all communication.’
Now he looks petrified. ‘Yeah, writing books, it’s hardly like rocket surgery.’
This is such hard work. I look at his arms. He has biceps the shape of bowling balls. And they are just as shiny. ‘Do you go to the gym much?’
His face lights up. ‘Yeah, bro. Yeah. Like a lot.’
Another uncomfortable silence follows until I can’t bear it any longer.
He then leans over to me, and it looks awfully like he might be attempting to kiss me for want of nothing better to do.
As his eyes close, and his lips hurtle towards mine, I jerk backwards away from him.
When his lips don’t find purchase, he opens one eye.
‘Nice chat,’ I say, leaping up. ‘See you around.’
Then to my horror, Giovanni yells that he is coming with me. He rolls off the bed. ‘Wait,’ he says. ‘I wasn’t going to kiss you. Please don’t tell Mimi.’
Didn’t I tell Cam this show is very playgroundy?
In his haste, he slips on the first step and comes tumbling down the stairs towards me like an avalanche. I turn sideways, grabbing hold of the banister, instinctively saving myself as he crashes at my feet.
‘Oh my God, are you okay?’ I ask, bending down to help him. He is lying upside down in a heap, almost at the bottom of the stairs. I hope he hasn’t broken anything.
Having a nurse as a sister has its perks. ‘Don’t move. Lie still. I’ll support your head. Help!’ I yell. There’s an almighty thundering sound of Islanders in heels click-clacking towards us.
Mimi is first to arrive on the scene. ‘You!’ She points dramatically to me. ‘What did you do? What have you done to him?’ She drops to her knees to cradle his head. She puts her arm round him.
‘Don’t move him,’ I yell. ‘You might make the injury worse.’
‘Don’t tell me what to do,’ she spits out hysterically, trying to yank him up. She is obviously not used to dealing with any sort of crisis. ‘Did you do this on purpose?’
‘What? No!’
‘CUT!’ yells Porscha. ‘Giovanni, stay where you are. Or if you can, just shift around a bit to face camera three so we can get you from both angles. Mimi, you lift him up and we’ll film you helping him walk to the daybeds.
Then we’ll do a shot of the two lovebirds getting cosy behind Libby’s back.
We can get some real traction going for this love triangle. ’
Mimi looks thrilled at this new plot twist.
‘And Libby?’ We all look at Porscha as she pauses dramatically. She looks me up and down. ‘How could you do this to him? Sour grapes is so not a good look.’ She is shaking her head at me, but I can see a smile hovering on her lips.
Once Porscha has yelled ‘Action!’ Mimi drops down to check on the love of her life. ‘Come on, Giovanni, babe. I’ll help you up.’
‘No,’ I say to Mimi. ‘Do not move him. Giovanni, where does it hurt? I’m a nurse. Well, a teacher but my sister is a nurse. I basically did all her revision for her medical exams, so I know what I’m doing.’
Giovanni smiles at me. A genuine smile.
Mimi pulls his arm. ‘Come on, honey, don’t listen to her. She’s just jealous.’ She tries to yank him up and he cries out in pain.
Everyone else is just standing around like dummies. At that moment, the heavens open and the rain comes crashing down.
Literally every single one of them ducks for cover. None of them faster than Porscha, who has vanished into thin air.
There’s only me and Giovanni remaining, and he’s beginning to slide uncomfortably down the stairs. I swoop down to support him.
‘Don’t worry. I’ve got you.’ I cradle his head against the stairs and look at his shoulders. They look wonky. ‘It looks like your shoulder might be dislocated.’
‘I’m coming,’ yells Cam, running across the lawn. The rain is battering down, causing him to slip and slide. Two more runners appear and soon we have Giovanni on a stretcher and under a canopy at the side of the villa. The wind is howling around us.
‘I’ll check him over. Cam, could you get a first aid kit please?’ I instruct. He gives me an appreciative look and runs off. ‘Get blankets, a hot honey and lemon drink and some sugar,’ I order the runners. ‘Giovanni, what sweets do you like?’
He looks confused.
‘She means candies,’ says Cam, coming up behind me with the first aid kit. ‘It’s good for the shock. I’ve radioed for a medic.’
I can’t even begin to describe what a great team we make. I think it must be showing on my face because Cam keeps looking at me and biting his lip to stop smirking. I wonder if it is because he now knows what an incredible kisser I am. My cheeks are on fire every time he says anything to me.
Within minutes, I have Giovanni’s sprained wrist wrapped in a bandage. I have popped his dislocated shoulder back into place and put his arm in a sling just as a precaution, and we are good to go.
Porscha makes an appearance. She throws an arm over Cam’s shoulder. ‘Excellent work, Cameron, darling. You are so dashing and brave.’
She looks at the rest of us as though we are lazy jobsworths.
‘Back to work, people. Back to work!’
I just have time to see him bristle before she links his arm and drags him away.