Chapter 22 #2
Kassy appears delighted. ‘Sure.’ She flicks Marcel a sheepish look. ‘Sorry, babe. I’m going to choose On-ree as soon as we do a recoupling, yeah? No hard feelings.’
Henri’s phone pings.
‘Make your way to zee furpeet. It is time to do zee ultimoot steal.’
‘What’s he saying?’ shouts Mimi. ‘I can’t understand a bloody word.’
Henri looks hurt, which gives Kassy the immediate hump. ‘Leave him alone, Mimi. I’d like to see you speaking French. He’s doing his best. Just because we can’t understand him doesn’t mean you have to say it out loud.’ She turns to Henri. ‘Does it, On-ree? You speak the good English. Yes?’
Well, he certainly speaks better English than you, I think, feeling sorry for him.
Mimi looks affronted as we follow the boys to the firepit.
The girl power from earlier is evaporating like steam into the warm night breeze.
We are surrounded by twinkling lights. The pool area looks amazing, lit from underneath.
All of the flower beds are ablaze with lights of every colour.
It is a brilliant feat of engineering and certainly helps us to feel like we are on another planet.
Far, far away from the ordinary world. Where people behave in a rational manner.
Where cares and worries are more than just simply about hair and make-up.
I also have no idea what time it is or what day it is.
I’m starting to forget how long I’ve been in here and where I came from.
Henri is lagging behind on the way to the firepit. ‘Hey,’ I say. ‘You are a brilliant singer. Thank you so much for doing that. Did it take you long to practise?’
Henri breaks into a huge smile. ‘Yes. Two dayz. Sank you, Libbee.’
Because I’m a teacher and therefore it’s in my nature to show off any linguistic skills I may have, no matter how poor, I say, ‘Je vous en prie.’
Henri’s eyes light up. ‘Tu parles francais?’
‘No,’ I say. ‘But I’d love to learn. Life is a learning journey, as I always say.’
He gives me an appreciative smile as we take our places.
Music is piped through the speakers to announce the arrival of the goddess that is Destiny.
We all watch her surreal, slow-motion entrance down the catwalk, through the massive silver heart, hair gleaming, tiny dress swishing around her slight orange frame, huge unmoving fringe curled under to perfection, until she comes to a stop in front of the roaring firepit.
‘Islanders, tonight we have a special surprise for you. Carlton and Mimi are going on a date!’
This is not news. Mimi has been squawking about it non-stop all day to the point that I’m pretty sure we all just want them to disappear and get on with it.
She repeats herself. ‘Carlton and Mimi are going on a date! Yaaaay!’
We dutifully yay along with her. A movement along the bench where we are sitting in a semicircle attracts my attention.
It is Carlton. He is looking at me, and at the mention of going on a date, he rolls his eyes.
Then, to my horror, Destiny catches him and turns her gaze to me as though I’m somehow complicit.
‘Unless…’ Destiny says. ‘Unless someone secretly steals him away!’
Cue gasping and looking at each other as though we are shocked to our cores.
‘Libby and Amber, please come and stand with me. As you know, tonight each of you must steal a man.’
We get up and I daren’t look back at Mimi, who is whispering furiously with Binky and Kassy about how sly we are in not telling them. We turn to face the remaining Islanders. To be honest, I can barely be bothered. I’m only interested in one man on this whole continent, and he’s forbidden fruit.
My thoughts drift to Cam and I can’t help wondering where he is.
Is he watching me right now? Is he hidden somewhere in the villa or is he back at the production village listening to the crew bonking away?
My heart flutters when I think of how, if I wasn’t in here, I could be hiding in his trailer, or we could be in a holding villa.
He would be chaperoning me and showing me the delights that Mexico has to offer while I lapped it up, eager to learn. I snap out of it.
I shouldn’t be here.
It’s just crossing my mind to announce that I’m withdrawing from the show when Destiny barks at us, ‘Ladies! Choose a man to steal. Who is your secret lover?’
Amber leaps straight in. ‘I choose this man because he seems very sensitive and gives me a good vibe. He caught my eye from the start, and I’d like to get to know him more. I choose Giovanni.’
Giovanni looks pleasantly shocked. He gives me a look that is almost an apology. As though I would have picked him.
‘I’m sorry you’ve missed out, Libby. Better luck next time,’ he says cockily as he takes his place next to Amber. He gives her a cheeky wink.
Now they all think I fancy him. It’s so childish.
Destiny booms, ‘Ooh, burn! Well, that’s Libby told. Libby, how are you going to get revenge on Giovanni? He clearly thinks you still have the hots for him. Who are you going to steal to make him jealous?’
Henri is now the only man sitting alone around the firepit and taking him from Amber would have been an easy swap, meaning no one is left out…
but he has made his intentions towards Kassy very clear, so choosing him now makes this very awkward.
If I don’t choose him, he could be dumped from the island.
I may as well fall on my own sword. I will make my shock announcement to leave and perhaps they’ll keep him in.
Everyone is looking at me. ‘Erm, the thing is. I’m not sure I want to choose anyone because I think I’d like to leave the—’
‘You can only choose one! Choose now! Who is it?’ Destiny has a wild look about her and because I have a penchant for knee-jerk reactions around authority figures, I swiftly look across all of the Islanders.
Mimi is looking desperately at me not to steal Carlton.
Carlton is almost begging me with his eyes to steal him, steal him real good. But if I go there, the can of worms will be horrendous.
I look at Henri and he smiles shyly back. ‘Henri,’ I blurt without thinking. ‘I choose Henri.’
‘Why?’ says Destiny, sounding annoyed. ‘You forgot to tell us why first, and then the drumroll off camera and the long stare into the middle distance and then the reveal.’ She is speaking to me like I am in Year Three. She is trying to teacher-talk at me.
‘Because he is French,’ I say defiantly. ‘And he is a great singer.’
‘Cut!’ says Porscha, stomping towards us. ‘Do it again from the top. Libby, for Christ’s sake, try and get it right this time, or we’ll be up all night filming. It’s not hard. Two reasons, stare into space and then reveal. Okay?’
She swaps catty looks with Destiny. This is so embarrassing.
It’s not even as if I have won the sympathy of my fellow Islanders, because Kassy is looking as though I have just announced that I might as well be taking her kidneys if I so much as think about choosing her new man.
Binky is clinging to her Aussie hunk and Mimi is stroking Carlton’s stubble and mouthing ‘thank you’ to me.
Carlton has not taken his angry gaze off me since the announcement. I am in so much trouble now.
Amber gives me an understanding look as Destiny takes her place to reshoot the scene. We do the big reveal and Henri looks suitably amused when I choose him. I sigh in relief that it is all over.
‘Islanders. We have two new couples. Libby and Henri, Amber and Giovanni. You will join Carlton and Mimi on a throuples’ dinner date.’
We all cheer and act excited, whooping and oohing.
‘I’ve always wanted to be in a throuple!’ yells Giovanni, causing us to laugh politely.
Destiny smiles broadly at us before swivelling around to face the others sitting by the firepit.
‘Binky, Kassy, Brad and Marcel…’ Destiny powers down as she stares blankly into space.
We wait for her to jolt back into action.
She looks from one to the other. ‘You are all now dumped from the island. Please pack your bags.’
What?
The silence that follows is sickening. None of us can believe it. We look at one another in confusion. This has got to be a joke. They can’t do that to people. It’s too cruel.
Binky bursts into noisy sobs as Kassy throws her arms around her. I run over to offer comfort, but Kassy looks up, her eyes full of furious tears.
‘This is bullshit!’ she screams. ‘Total bullshit.’ She looks around at our shocked faces before screwing her eyes at me. ‘You!’ She points. ‘How can you steal my man when you aren’t even interested in him?’
She has the attention of every single person. You can hear a pin drop.
‘This whole show is fixed. It’s a complete con. I saw you kissing someone behind the villa.’ Kassy stands up and waves her hand in my face. ‘That’s right. I saw you. You were kissing a man. And it sure as heck wasn’t any of these guys!’