66. Jillian
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Jillian
My heart shatters into a thousand pieces. I should have known better. I should have known that Jamie would be looking for Elliott. Especially at a time like this. He’s been a part of our lives for months. It makes no sense that he would not be present now.
I take both his hands. “He did. At the hospital. You were sleeping. I’m sorry, baby. I forgot to tell you.”
Jamie tries to put on a brave face. “He did?”
“Yes! He was so worried about us. He wanted to stay, but the hospital rules didn’t allow him. So he had to go home.”
Jamie thinks about that. Nods. Then signs. What about now? Can he come now?
This is my fault. I told Sheila to tell Elliott not to come see us. Never once thinking of how it would affect Jamie. I only thought of myself and how I need time to process everything that’s happening.
I smile. “When I get my phone back, I’ll call him, okay?”
Jamie signs again. Use Sheila’s phone .
I press my lips together and nod. Standing up, I ask Sheila for her phone and text Elliott.
Sheila: Hi, it’s Jillian. If you’re not busy, would you like to meet us for breakfast? Jamie wants to see you.
The dots appear immediately.
Elliott: Tell me where.
Sheila: There’s a place near Sheila’s apartment. Called Brunch Time.
Elliott: I know where that is. See you soon.
I return the phone to Sheila and smile at Jamie. “He’ll meet us for breakfast.”
My little boy’s face lights up. And my heart shatters again. He’s so attached to Elliott. Of course he is. I knew this would happen. I have no one to blame but myself.
I take his hand and the three of us walk to the restaurant, located a block away. What will happen if we break up? Our relationship is so fresh and new. We’re still getting to know each other. I should have never allowed Jamie to get so close to him.
Sheila bumps into my shoulder. “Hey, knock that off.” She hisses under her breath.
“Knock what off?”
“Whatever it is going through your head. The stories you’re telling yourself right now.”
“I’m not?—”
She shuts me up with a raised eyebrow. Sheila has that expression down to perfection. How can one little eyebrow say so much? It’s like she’s scolding me, smacking me upside the head and hugging me all at the same time.
“Witch,” I whisper.
She laughs. I can’t help but laugh, too.
Jamie, at my side, looks up at us.
When we get to the restaurant, I’m surprised to see Elliott is already there. Then I remember his office is a ten-minute walk away. He must have hurried to beat us here. As soon as Jamie sees him, he lets go of my hand and takes off running. Elliott scoops him up into a hug and holds him tight. His head touches Jamie’s. Elliott hugs my son like he loves him. Like he almost lost him. Like he needs to hug him to make sure he’s safe.
A sob escapes me.
Sheila pulls me into her, an arm around my shoulders. “I don’t know how you can have any doubts about that man’s love. He’d step in front of a train for the two of you.”
Somewhere in my soul, I know Sheila is right, even if he’s never said the words. But there’s a part of me that’s afraid and full of doubts. And until I know for sure Elliott and his father had nothing to do with the fire, I can’t let go of the fear and doubt.