Chapter 4
Chapter Four
KALEB
Iwas freezing and burning up at the same time. Anger and sorrow warred within my body.
But in five seconds, Lottie had my pulse slowing, and my emotions returning to an even keel.
She was our everything. I watched her when Viktor came back into Andrei's life, and how she never shied away from his past. Even the blood on his hands.
I don't know why I thought it would be different with me. That maybe somehow because my mom was still alive, she wouldn't be able to see past it.
Because you can never see past it, and will always think the worst of yourself, Wulf.
With my eyes closed, I pressed my forehead to Lottie's and slid my hands back to cup her head. One hand dipped lower, spanning over her delicate throat so I could feel her pulse against my hand. "I fucking love you, baby girl. I'll spend the rest of my life proving that to you."
She drew back, just a hint of a smile tilting the corners of her lips. "I'll happily take the love for the rest of our lives, but you don't have to prove anything to me." Her hands wrapped around the back of my neck, and I savored her touch.
"Then I'll just keep doing what I'm already doing."
Her smile widened, and just as she opened her mouth to reply, her stomach let out a frustrated gurgle.
A deep flush spread over her cheeks as she splayed her hand out. "Oh my god. Just kill me now." She shook her head and kept her gaze down toward the couch. "Why does this always happen? And so loud. Really tummy, I ate today, it's not like I forgot again like the other day and I got all dizzy."
"Woah, wait a second," I said in my 'Daddy' voice.
At the same time, Andrei snapped. "Kroshka, did we just hear you say you didn't eat the other day and almost passed out?"
Andrei was the sternest one of us for a reason. And it wasn't just because of his deep booming voice, or that Russian accent.
He just had the look.
The look that made Littles quiver and come to attention.
Although we only cared about one specific Little.
Lottie looked contrite as she twisted her fingers together. "I was working on a project and lost track of time. Next thing I knew, it was after three and I skipped lunch."
"And let me guess," I added. "You didn't have breakfast." I held a hand up when she tried to protest. "Coffee does not count as food.”
She opened and closed her mouth a couple times before letting out a deep sigh. “What’s for dinner?”
“That’s a very good question because we were supposed to pick something up on the way home.” I rubbed the back of my head and once again cursed my mother disturbing my plans.
"I'll order something," Andrei offered. "Colby's class is until after eight tonight so it'll still be a while before he's home. Craving anything specific, Kroshka?"
"Pizza." Her face lit up and she bounced in her seat.
God, I loved this woman more than life itself.
"Pizza it is." Andrei kissed her forehead and then rose. "I'll order from my laptop. Give you two a few more minutes to talk."
I nodded my head in thanks, and Andrei clasped my shoulder as he passed on his way to the office.
I sank into the back of the couch and pulled Lottie fully against me.
"My mother has always been more concerned with appearances rather than anything of substance.
She married my dad for his money, had me, and then pretty much turned her back on us both.
My dad tried the best he could, but he loved her, despite her faults. "
Lottie placed her hand on my chest, but stayed quiet, letting me speak in my own time.
"After the fourth or fifth time he caught her cheating, I think a part of him died." I swallowed harshly. "He started drinking a lot." My eyes burned as memories assaulted me. "The only memories I have of them together are of them arguing and fighting. My dad never got violent, but Mom did."
I clench my fist on top of my thigh as the past breaks through all my carefully crafted walls. "As the years went on, things got worse. Dad worked a lot, and made his company very successful. But it was never enough for Mom. She always had to have shiny new things to show off at the country club."
"When did he die?" She asked quietly after the silence extended between us.
"I was fourteen. I think his heart just gave out from all the years of alcohol and pills. Officially they called it a stroke."
"I'm so sorry, Daddy K," Lottie whispered, her voice thick with emotion.
I kissed the top of her head and tightened my arms around her. She was my anchor. My safe port in the frantic storm of my emotions.
The one thing in my life that made sense.
I cleared my throat. "It wasn't even six months later that she got pregnant and married Russell Huntington, a mooch of a freeloading buffoon that lived off his family's money for his entire life. When they cut him off, he found himself a rich widow."
I ground my molars together, hating the thought of Russell and my mother.
"My sisters actually turned out okay, I'm sure because they had me and Rose, who was our nanny/housekeeper." The weight pressing down on my chest started to lift, telling Lottie even the slightest bit about my past and her accepting it was helping heal me.
"I've done a lot of things I'm not proud of when it comes to my mother and stepfather, baby girl. I've helped them out of too many things to count, and now there is the expectation." I was barely scratching the surface of all I'd been dragged into by Patrice.
Lottie's fingers curled in the fabric of my shirt. "You don't have to tell me everything, but I think telling me some of it will help you."
"I know it will." I ran my fingers lightly up and down her arm.
"It's already helping. You're our light, baby girl.
I know I've told you that before, but it's worth repeating.
Now that you're in my life, I can barely remember a time without you.
You've consumed me body and soul, and the gift of your love and submission make me feel like the most powerful man in the universe. "
She looked up at me, wonder and love sparkling in those steely blue depths. "I love you, Kaleb Wulf. Nothing will ever change that."
I just hoped I would continue to be worthy of her love.