Chapter 19 The Yellow Sprigged Muslin
by Lily Bernard
Hunsford, Kent
Elizabeth observed her gowns hanging in the wardrobe and decided to wear the yellow sprigged muslin once again.
When she headed out into the park, it did not take long before she encountered Mr Darcy.
Her initial reaction was to be displeased that he had intruded on her solitary walk, but, to her surprise, she was not unhappy at all. When had she come to enjoy his company?
“Good morning, Miss Bennet.”
“It is a beautiful day, sir.”
“And may I say how lovely you look in that yellow muslin…”
How astonishing! Her simple day gown brought about a compliment from Mr. Darcy—was it the first one he had ever paid her? He really was handsome when he smiled.
“Is something wrong, sir?”
“I hardly know. I believe I have uttered that sentence before.”
“Well, I have worn this gown before.” Yet I do not recall the compliment.
He offered her his arm, and she hesitated before she took it. “I was wondering,” he said as they continued to walk, “if we might be completely honest with each other.”
She nodded, not comprehending why holding his arm comforted her.
“I fear there have been some misunderstandings between us in the past. Is there anything you wish to ask me?”
After reading her sister’s most recent letter, Jane’s continued unhappiness weighed on Elizabeth’s mind. “Did you intentionally separate my sister from Mr Bingley?” A vague memory came over her as if she had already asked him this very question.
“I did not believe she showed him any preference.”
“Mr Bingley has reached his majority and, as such, should be making his own decisions.”
“I was acting in the best interest of my friend. If I erred, I shall write to Bingley as soon as I return to Rosings and tell him what you said.”
“I would ask you not to write to him.”
“Why ever not? Are you not eager to have them reunited?”
“Mr Bingley behaved in a way that led my sister to believe he cared for her—yet he listened to his sisters and his friend and left her without a word. Would a man who had real affection for a woman be so willing to abandon her, founded on the advice of others? I have heard you refer to Mr Bingley’s history of flitting from one ‘angel’ to another.
If Jane were but a diversion, would she not be better off without him?
Does my sister not deserve to be cherished deeply and by a man who knows his own mind? ”
“When I return to London, I shall inform Bingley of your sister’s location, and if he wishes to see her and she chooses to accept his overtures, they can decide their future themselves.”
“Will you interfere if they do wish to see more of each other?”
“Madam, I assure you I am finished meddling in the lives of others.” They walked on in companionable silence until Darcy continued. “Miss Elizabeth, may I ask if your estimation of me has improved since you have been here?”
“I admit that I disliked you when you were in Hertfordshire, and I assumed I would continue to do so. Now, I see you as far more considerate and forthcoming than the gentleman I met in Meryton. We have had many meaningful conversations without sarcasm or condescension.” Was she smiling because her feelings for him had changed?
“Now we have established I have misjudged you, and you me—how shall we move forward from here?”
“If we acknowledge our feelings, it might help. May I go first?”
She hesitated before agreeing. He is so tall, so handsome, and more intelligent than my father. Have I developed a tendre for Mr Darcy?
“I treasure the time we spend together. You are unaware of how exquisite you are, as well as being the most intelligent woman I have ever met.”
She was suddenly unsure of the emotions he aroused, and she spoke timidly. “I never knew you saw me thus. You are always staring at me—as if to find fault—and I distinctly remember you never came to my defence against Miss Bingley’s cruel remarks.”
“You misunderstood my staring—rather than searching for flaws, I could not take my eyes from you. I dared not defend you to Miss Bingley, lest she discover my admiration for you. You do not want to be the object of that viper’s displeasure.”
“I am astonished at your revelations.” He said he admires me, but I must not allow myself to lose my heart to him.
I must be realistic. He will marry someone from within his own sphere.
“I hardly know what to say. I enjoy our conversations, and our taste in books and music is quite similar.” She dared not say more for risk of being hurt.
“So yes, I would like to consider you…my friend.”
“Your friend?” Did he sound disappointed? “Friendship is a good start. Is there anything else you wish to know?”
Elizabeth hesitated. Dare she enquire about the story widely circulated back home? “George Wickham informed everyone he encountered in Meryton of a rather disturbing story about your shared history.”
Before she could continue, Mr Darcy stepped away from her. She saw fury written across his face. “Wickham!” He spat the name as though it were poison. “What has he to do with anything?”
Elizabeth started at his powerful reaction, but then rested her hand on his sleeve. “These past weeks, I have come to know you better, and I am convinced everything he said was a lie."
He closed his eyes before he took a deep breath. “There are many good reasons for your misgivings. What sordid tale is that scoundrel spreading now?”
“He claimed that after your father died, you refused to give him the living promised to him, supposedly out of jealousy and spite.”
“We grew up together and my late father was indeed fond of him and intended that he should enter the church, granting him a valuable living. But Wickham had no wish to be a clergyman. Instead, he asked for the money that living would have been worth, and I gave it to him. He squandered the entire sum within a few years. Not long after I refused his plea for more money, he attempted a far more serious offence. Last August, he persuaded my sister—she was then fifteen—to elope. His aim was her fortune. Mercifully, I discovered the scheme before it could take place. For the sake of my sister’s reputation, you understand why I never speak of this.
But I assure you, Wickham’s conduct has been consistently selfish and dishonourable. ”
She gasped and held her hand to her heart.
“And I had thought he told the truth.” How Mr Darcy’s behaviour must have been affected by his former friend’s betrayals.
It was no wonder the man she met in Meryton was wary of befriending new people—Wickham had once been so close to him but did nothing but betray Mr Darcy’s goodwill.
“You must be terribly disappointed with the degenerate life he chose—after all, you were his friend, and your father supported Wickham’s education.
” She shook her head. “What a practised liar—and what a fool I was to believe him.”
“Sadly, you are but one of many deceived by that snake. I am certainly disgusted by what has become of him—but nothing he does now surprises me.”
“Regardless of how we hope the people we care about would behave, it is out of our hands. I cannot count the number of times I have admonished my sister Lydia for her behaviour, but she dismisses my advice and does whatever she wishes. It is frustrating—she is so young and vulnerable, it frightens me to think of where her unseemly words and actions might lead.”
“I can well understand your fears for your sister. I own all of Wickham’s debts from Lambton and London, and it should not be long until he is sent to Marshalsea for what I hope is a very long time.
In debtor’s prison, he will be unable to take advantage of any innocent young women.
Until he is taken into custody, who in Meryton could convince the shopkeepers to stop allowing him credit?
Wickham has never repaid a debt in his whole sorry life. ”
“They would believe Sir William Lucas. He was a fellow merchant before the king knighted him.”
“I shall send him an express today.”
“Thank you, sir.”
They resumed their stroll, but Mr Darcy clutched his hands behind his back.
How strange that I wish he would offer me his arm again.
“What more would you care to know about me?” He raised his brows at her.
“Will you tell me why you insulted me the first time you saw me? At the assembly, I heard you say I was not handsome enough to tempt you.”
He took his hat off and ran his fingers through his hair.
“Good God, Miss Elizabeth. I beg your forgiveness. I…would give anything to erase such arrogance but I was not myself that night. When I insulted you, I had not yet looked at you, had not yet seen your beautiful face and sparkling eyes before I uttered those ill-conceived words. My goal was to simply silence my friend. Believe me when I say, I find you so much more than tolerable. You are the loveliest woman of my acquaintance.”
She was discomposed by his flattery and looked away. Did Mr Darcy truly think of her that way? What could he mean by saying something kind? Had he ever apologized for his insult before?
She took his arm and urged him to continue their walk.
Finally, he continued. “After my sister’s near escape from Wickham’s treachery, her spirits were very low.
I did not wish to leave her in London with her new companion, but she insisted I go.
Since the incident, I had not been sleeping well and was exhausted when I arrived at Netherfield.
Being new to the neighbourhood, of course, Bingley wished to make a good impression and insisted that all of us attend the assembly.
I knew if I refused, Miss Bingley would offer to stay home and see to my every need.
No, thank you! I would rather wrestle a python than spend one minute more than necessary in that woman’s presence. ”
“At least you did not call me a reptile.” Elizabeth laughed.