Chapter 36
Chapter thirty-six
ILIANA
The shower did nothing to calm her or the lingering heat in her body.
She’d thought about finishing what he started, but a new fear made its way in. What if they could hear her? She didn’t know how extensive their powers were. Superhearing. Telepathy. Some divine sixth sense of human arousal? The last thing she wanted was to face their knowing grins over dinner.
When had she started caring what the gods thought of her? When had their opinions become more important than her own carefully maintained distance?
With a sigh, she wrapped herself in a towel and studied herself.
Faint bruises had already formed, but it wasn’t too bad.
Just the dark imprint of fingers on her arm where Anubis had caught her when she’d been about to fall during training.
The lingering heat of his grip on her hips. The love bites along her neck.
She shivered. She should be afraid, or at the very least, wary of his strength—of how effortlessly he could overpower her.
But she wasn’t. Even in the heat of the moment, when his control had slipped for a fraction of a second, he’d stopped. He’d pulled back, concern eclipsing his desire in an instant. And that reaction? It mattered.
She trusted him.
She brushed out her hair, then dressed in soft leggings and a fitted tank top. Her muscles protested every movement, but the aromas coming from the kitchen were too inviting to ignore. Stretching could wait.
She rested her hand on the door handle, trying to gather herself.
Out there were three, maybe four gods who’d become impossibly interwoven into her life.
In here, she could pretend things were simple.
Still human. That she hadn’t just made out with Anubis while Thanatos’ kiss from this morning still lingered.
That she wasn’t about to sit down to dinner with all of them and pretend everything was normal.
Shaking off the doubts, she opened the door.
By the time she got close to the kitchen, she caught fragments of a low conversation, too hushed to make out.
They were speaking carefully. If they hadn’t wanted her to hear, they would’ve spoken telepathically.
At least, she assumed they did that, having noticed their wordless conversations while in their presence.
She was still unsure of how that worked.
Deciding she couldn’t hide in the hallway forever, she strode into the room.
Anubis stirred a pot at the stove as Hypnos rested against the counter, his demeanor unreadable as always. The moment he spotted her, he tensed.
“Thanatos won’t be happy,” Hypnos said.
Iliana halted in the doorway as Hypnos dragged his gaze over her. Calculating. Assessing. His eyes lingered on her neck.
She resisted the urge to touch the marks she knew were there.
“You know how he is, Ani.” Hypnos sounded bored, but there was a sharp warning beneath it. “You should’ve been more careful.”
Anubis’ nostrils flared, the only sign of strain in his otherwise tranquil demeanor. “It is fine.” He sounded unconcerned, but the tight set of his shoulders showed he wasn’t as confident in his words as he pretended. “He will understand.”
“Will he?” Hypnos asked.
Iliana’s insides flipped, her appetite leaving her. He spoke so casually, as if he were discussing the weather rather than warning them about an unknown disaster.
Unknown to her.
She’d only seen Thanatos be gentle and patient with her. Despite all the uncertainty in her life, she knew she didn’t want to see him angry. Any of them, actually.
Anubis looked at her then, his eyes tender despite the conversation. She wondered if she’d imagined the quick flash of guilt in them.
“Sit. The soup will be ready soon.”
She wanted to demand answers, to know what they were talking about, but jumping straight to interrogation mode wasn’t the best approach.
Instead, she crossed to the shelves, moving between Hypnos and Anubis.
She grabbed a glass and filled it with water from the sink, downing it in one go.
After refilling it, she finally took a seat.
“Where’s Hermes?” she asked. Maybe she could distract herself from whatever the two of them had been discussing.
“Out gathering information,” Anubis said, though something in his tone suggested he wasn’t entirely sure. “He said he would be back for dinner.”
Her shoulders relaxed slightly. Rather than dwell on why she wanted the other god to be present, she reconsidered Hypnos’ words. She knew she should let it go, but her desperate need to know what she could face wouldn’t leave her alone.
She leveled a stare at Hypnos. “Why won’t Thanatos be happy?”
Hypnos smirked, but there was no humor in it, only knowing. Before he could let whatever sarcastic remark on his tongue slip free, the sound of approaching footsteps silenced the room.
Anubis stiffened. The smirk disappeared from Hypnos’ face. An instinctual feeling inside Iliana warned her.
The marks.
The conversation made sense now. Thanatos would see the marks on her neck from their make-out session and think…what? That she had betrayed him somehow?
She hadn’t. At least she hadn’t thought so. Now she was questioning everything she’d felt with Anubis, how the heat and desire had felt so right. What had seemed so perfect in the moment now made her doubt her own judgment.
Thanatos entered the room, and the atmosphere appeared to change.
He sensed the tension immediately, his relaxed expression stiffening.
His eyes flitted from the gods to Iliana, his gaze intent and assessing as it moved over her body as if taking stock, making sure she still had all her limbs and checking for wounds.
Then he saw them; the marks on her neck stood out against her pale skin.
Then her arms, where finger-shaped bruises bloomed dark.
His eyes cut to Anubis and she watched as concern morphed into something dangerous.
His hands flexed at his sides before clenching into fists.
His body grew taut, and his mouth flattened into a hard line.
Iliana hardly had time to process or intervene before Thanatos moved—and struck.
The punch connected with Anubis’ jaw, the sickening crack booming in the room. She yelped, the sharp, involuntary sound tearing out of her, cutting into the tension.
Anubis’ head snapped to the side from the force, and for a second, he stayed there, breathing heavily. Then he straightened slowly, his gaze returning to Thanatos with his golden eyes hard. Waiting. As if he were inviting another strike.
Thanatos’ fist was pulled back to hit his friend again, but he froze. She saw the cold anger on his face crack as shame flooded in, replacing the rage and softening each hardened line.
Neither of them moved.
Iliana stood, the scrape of the chair legs squealing through the room. She looked between them as she gasped for breath, her heart beating hard against her sternum, her legs barely holding her weight.
The conflict warred across Thanatos’ features as Anubis remained perfectly still, waiting patiently, all emotions wiped from his face.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” she yelled.
Thanatos slowly lowered his arm, but his body remained wound tight. He was still ready to lunge, to fight. When he looked at her again, she saw the flash of fear in his eyes before it disappeared behind an icy wall.
Fear. Not anger or rage.
“Iliana—” Thanatos began, brokenly.
“No!” She held up a hand, needing some kind of barrier between them. She didn’t know exactly what sparked it, but she understood enough.
And like hell would they fight over her.
She read their body language, seeing that they weren’t done. Their muscles remained strung tight, ready to tear at each other once more.
“Figure this out. Whatever this is about, whatever I did or didn’t do, figure it out without beating each other senseless.”
Hypnos had remained silent throughout the exchange, leaning against the cabinets with detached interest. He hadn’t bothered to break the two apart, even knowing his brother would react this way, as if he’d predicted this exact outcome and was waiting to see how accurate it was.
Now he moved to her with an almost sympathetic expression, as if he understood what she was feeling. “Iliana…”
“Don’t.” Her voice cracked. She hated how vulnerable she sounded. So small, so human. “Just don’t.”
They were all staring at her. Three sets of eyes that saw far too much.
This was all her fault. The thought burrowed into her skull and took root. Two gods were fighting over her. About her.
She turned and walked away. She refused to look back at the mess she’d caused, the rift she’d somehow created between two friends who’d known each other for centuries. Each step down the hallway felt as though she were walking through concrete.
She’d kissed them. Wanted them. And now they were fighting. She needed some time to herself so she could think, without them watching her every reaction.
The moment she shut the door behind her, she sensed it. A presence.
She wasn’t alone.
More adrenaline dumped into her system, and she spun around. Hermes was sitting on her bed, looking entirely too comfortable. Her heart lurched. She clutched the door frame when her legs threatened to buckle.
“How long have you been here?” The words came out sharper than she’d intended.
“Long enough to hear the shouting. To know dinner is going to be incredibly awkward.” Hermes tilted his head as he looked at her. “What would you say to dinner somewhere else? It looks like your meal here may have been ruined.”
Iliana’s racing pulse slowed as she regarded him. Something about the way his grin didn’t brighten his face made her falter. He’d heard the fight. Of course he had. The gods probably heard everything in this house.
Instead of looking concerned or even curious, he looked almost resigned. As if divine drama were routine.
“What are you doing here?” she asked, though she suspected she already knew the answer. He was giving her a chance to escape from the mess she’d made.
He rolled his eyes dramatically and flopped back against the pillows. “I was going to join you all for dinner. Then I heard the commotion and thought, ‘You know what this situation needs? Me.’”
She snorted before she could stop herself. “You heard the fight and decided to swoop in to play knight in shining armor?”
“Swooping implies effort.” His grin was pure rogue, but those piercing eyes were serious. “I simply recognized that you might want some distance. Friends fight. They’ll work it out.”
“They were fighting about me.” The words came out bitter. Shame flared inside her.
Hermes shook his head, gentleness softening his blue eyes. “They were fighting over their own issues,” he said with a flippant wave of his hand. “You were just the catalyst. Now, about that dinner.”
He sounded the same as the past few times she’d been in his presence: carefree even when discussing a serious topic. But when she looked closer, she couldn’t pretend she hadn’t seen his hope that she’d join him.
Dinner sounded good. Her stomach growled in agreement. But could she trust Hermes?
Her hesitation must’ve been apparent because he propped himself up on one elbow, studying her thoughtfully, without his usual amusement. “I’m on your side, you know.”
Iliana wasn’t sure why his words affected her, but they did. He’d done nothing to hurt her. That morning’s conversation had only confirmed what her gut feelings already told her.
“Okay,” she said at last.
Hermes grinned. “Excellent choice.”
He stood from the bed and prowled toward her. Her heart started racing. She knew she needed to set boundaries, especially since she feared he could persuade her into doing just about anything.
“Before we go anywhere,” Iliana said, stepping out of his reach, “I want to set some ground rules.”
He arched an eyebrow at her. “Rules? For a dinner date?”
“For whatever this actually is.” She gave him a pointed look, ignoring the flutter in her belly. “First, I want to know why you’re really taking me.”
His amiable smile wobbled. “I told you. Dinner.”
“And?” She crossed her arms, planning to wait him out even if her stomach growled noisily at the thought of food. “You don’t strike me as doing anything without a reason. And since you’re a god and could easily make dinner appear here, why do you want to take me away?”
As Hermes studied her, she caught the flash of respect. “You’re getting good at reading gods.”
“Answer the question.”
“Fine,” he sighed before giving her a serious look. “You looked like you needed a break away from the gods. The fighting. From all of this. And maybe I wanted to see how you’d react to being in the mortal world again. To see if you missed it.”
She didn’t feel as though she were missing out on anything back where she belonged. Her apartment. Her photos. The thought of her belongings made her a little homesick, but everything she really wanted was gone.
Taking an unsteady breath, she pushed aside the grief threatening to pull her under again and refocused on Hermes. “And if I do? If I wanted to return to my normal life?”
Disappointment flitted across his face for a fraction of a second before he smiled nonchalantly. “Then we’ll have that conversation. I’ll speak to the other gods about figuring out a way to protect you at your home.”
She held his gaze. Only when she was sure he wasn’t just bullshitting her did she picture what returning home would look like. The four gods crowded inside her small, one-bedroom apartment. Thanatos’ wings tipping over her lamp, and Anubis taking up the entirety of her small couch.
She tamped down her amusement.
“I don’t want to be away for too long; a couple of hours at most. I feel safe here. With them.”
“Of course,” he said, breezy as ever. “Shall we?”
Iliana gave one final look toward the door, toward the disorder she was leaving behind.
Then she took his offered hand.