23. KORIE
KORIE
Aris bounces on the dresser, eyeing me like I’ve done something wrong.
“What?” I say in a harsh whisper.
She flies to my shoulder, bumping my cheek with her small feathered head. It shouldn’t tug at my heart as strongly as it does, like she somehow knows I needed that little bit of affection. I stroke her chest and draw in a slow breath.
I’m so on edge, so… frayed.
When I hear Holden enter my bedroom, I turn my back to the door.
“Nearly done,” I say, picking through my clothes in the closet.
I’ve changed shirts twice already, but nothing feels right.
Holden leans against the doorframe, saying nothing. But I can feel him watching me. His eyes are far too curious lately.
“I said I’ll be ready soon,” I say again.
“We don’t need to go out,” he says.
I snag a random shirt from the hanger and yank it on, cringing at the way it feels against my skin. Without looking at Holden, I pull it off and throw it to the floor, fisting one hand at my side.
“I want to go out. I’m sick of this place,” I say.
“So you’ve told me.”
Everything he says lately has a tone. Not rude or harsh or anything. More like he’s trying to figure something out.
Figure me out.
I’ve felt it in the way he looks at me.
Holden steps closer, grabs a plain red t-shirt from the right end of the closet, where my “safe” shirts are, and offers it to me.
I hastily pull it on, smoothing it over my belt. It’s not quite right, but it’s not… wrong either.
Stepping around him, I grab my wallet from the nightstand and shove it into my back pocket, trying not to look at Holden in the mirror. I’m afraid if I do, I’ll see disappointment. Or worse, something to confirm this version of me isn’t the one he’s fallen in love with.
“I thought we could go to a movie,” I say. “Something normal.”
Holden hesitates. “Normal?”
“Yeah, like. Not a date. Just… us. Doing us things.”
Something that won’t make me look too closely at what we’ve become or make me feel like I’m fifty steps behind you.
Something that can remind me of where we were just a few short weeks ago.
Something safe.
“Okay.” His voice is too patient.
At the theater, Holden holds the door for me, then we walk to the digital ticket kiosk.
I step in to pay before he can. Once through the secondary doors, I fold my arms over my chest and walk to the concession stands.
The scent of popcorn makes my mouth water, even though I’m not sure I have the appetite for it.
Holden stands close enough I can feel his body heat through my shirt, and when he puts a hand on my waist, I instinctively scoot a fraction closer. I still need him right now, even if I don’t know what to do about that.
Ever since I realized we were on two very different timelines, I’ve felt like my axis has tilted. But the problem is, I don’t know what to do about it. I don’t want Holden to leave me, but I also… need space from him.
I know I want this. I do. I’m just… not where he is yet.
Holden rubs slow circles on my back. “You okay?”
I force a smile and reach for his hand, trying to act normal. “Yeah.” It comes out too fast, so I try again. “Yeah. I’m fine. Just, you know. Busy head.”
At least that part isn’t a lie.
Holden brushes the back of my hand with his thumb. He looks like he wants to kiss me. I don’t know if I want him to. “It should be a good movie.”
“Yeah. I hope so.” I barely even remember the title, let alone the plot.
We shuffle through the crowd to the snack line, and that’s when I see them. Jordan, Sophie, and Miles are less than ten feet away, in another line. My hand tightens on Holden’s, and I get the terrible urge to pull away.
But Sophie sees us before I can. Her eyes light up instantly.
“Korie!” Her attention flicks to Holden, and she beams again. “What are you guys doing here?”
Jordan turns to her. “Probably seeing a movie?”
Miles laughs.
Sophie smacks Jordan’s arm in annoyance.
All three of them turn their attention back to us, and the room suddenly seems brighter, like a spotlight has been turned on above our heads.
Miles and Sophie seem extra aware, their attention drifting over Holden and me, taking in our extra close proximity and joined hands.
Blood pounds in my ears as Sophie’s grin gets even wider. Worse, there isn’t a trace of surprise anywhere in her features. Only confirmation.
Because she knows. She’d picked up on it that day in the cafeteria. She probably even figured out it’s why I’ve been avoiding her at work.
My stomach dips slightly—not in shock. In recalibration. Not only has my relationship with Holden changed, but my relationship with my friends has too.
And I hadn’t meant for it to happen.
“I’m happy to see you guys,” Sophie says simply. “What movie are you here for?”
Holden shifts beside me, smoothly answering her question and smiling like everything is completely normal. He even laughs at something Jordan said, which I missed.
After a few minutes, Holden nudges me forward. “We’re up.” He nods toward the cashier. “Medium popcorn, peanut M&M’s and a large root beer, please.”
It should ground me. It’s what we’ve shared at the movies since we were kids. But now, something uncomfortable twists in my gut, and I throw a hand up before I can stop myself.
“Wait,” I say, a little too loudly.
They both pause. I suck in air, then blurt the first thing that comes to mind. “Can we get Mike and Ikes instead?”
The clerk nods like it’s no big deal, but Holden tilts his head a little. When he frowns, I don’t know if it’s in surprise or concern.
I can’t explain it except that I need something different today. Something to be… mine.
I fumble a little with my card when I pay, then Holden takes the candy and soda as the cashier slides the popcorn over to me. I nearly drop it. A few stray kernels fall to the floor.
When I look around, I see our friends already walking away toward their theater. I’m not sure if I’m sad or relieved. I genuinely enjoy their company, but I just… don’t want the spotlight on me either tonight. I don’t want the questions.
Holden and I sit near the middle at the top, our usual choice. He reads off the pre-movie trivia questions with extra enthusiasm and mocks all the low-budget ads, as if he’s trying to get me to smile. It almost works.
I sit with my arms folded and one leg crossed over the other. “You should get Skyward to put an ad up there.”
Holden scoffs. “Hell no. That would mean even more kids.”
“Hey. Adults go to your gym too. I was just there last week.”
“Wait. We’re adults now? When did that happen?”
I snort a laugh. Tell me about it.
When the movie starts, I miss the first ten minutes entirely. I hear Sophie’s laugh somewhere below me and curl inward instinctively. Had they seen us come in? What are they thinking? Sophie’s probably wondering why we didn’t sit with them… then assumed we wanted privacy since we’re a couple now.
Dammit. I just keep messing up. I never meant to hurt them.
Holden leans in slightly. “Seriously, hon. You okay?”
The tiny endearment makes my heart squeeze. I nod. “Yeah.”
“You usually laugh at these movies.”
I grit my teeth and reach for more popcorn. “I said I’m fine.”
Twenty minutes later, the scene cuts off and the main character is suddenly in a different place. No explanation of how she got there. Just… cut. New reality, and only a few clues to figure out how it happened.
Now that is laughable. Story of my life.
Holden bends forward to set the empty popcorn container on the floor, then leans closer to me, resting a hand on my thigh.
Suddenly, I focus more on him than the movie.
How did we get here? I mean, I know, obviously.
We went on that silly date. But why does it feel like I’m the one waking up in that scene?
Like a chunk of our story is missing, and Holden has all the answers?
One moment we’re best friends, living our lives and circling each other on a regular basis. The next we’re having sex and going grocery shopping and planning Christmas gifts. Where was the transition?
Guilt presses down on me. Holden had asked me—very clearly—that day in my apartment if I wanted this, and my answer is the same.
I do. I want it so much it feels like it’s sucking the air from my lungs.
I ache for him. But even back then, when he’d asked, I already felt like he was fifty yards ahead in the pool and I was scrambling to catch up.
We went from being friends to basically living together almost overnight.
Holden is over all the time. He checks in all the time, buys me food, does my laundry.
It’s all good things. But I haven’t had a chance to process it all because he’s always there. Every day.
I don’t reach for Holden’s hand, but I don’t pull away either.
After the movie, we sit in silence for a moment as the crowd clears.
Then we walk out together. I look around for Miles and Sophie, but I don’t see them.
In the car, Holden turns the music down.
And instantly my mind goes back to that first silly date, where I’d told him he should keep the radio low if he wants his date to actually hear him.
That day had changed everything. Sometimes I wish I could go back, but not because I want to end this. I just wish I felt as certain about Holden and I now as I did then.
Back at the apartment, I slip out of my shoes and walk to the kitchen for water.
Holden is eyeing the duffle bags on the floor. Our trip is less than a week away.
“Do you have everything you need?”
I nod. “Yup. Getting there.”
“Need my help with any of it?”
His question is such a Holden thing to say, yet it grates on my patience.
“I’m fine.”
“You sure? I can—”
“I said I’ve got it, Holden.”
The sharpness in my voice cracks through the apartment.
Holden stills near the couch, his expression tightening almost instantly.
For a second, guilt punches through the static in my head, but it’s buried beneath exhaustion so deep I can’t fully process it. I fold my arms and look away, hating the sudden heaviness to the room now.