Courtship of a Middle Aged Dragon Queen (Magic and Mayhem Universe: Midlife Mayhem, #2)

Chapter 1

“Are you sure you want to do pink and blue?” Maeve asked.

“Well, you’re wearing white, right?”

“Yes.” I tried not to snap, but I failed. “With pink accents. You helped me buy my dress.”

Tapping her chin with the index finger of her right hand, she slowly walked up and down the table.

Taking in all the supplies, she mumbled something to herself that I wasn’t in the mood to try to hear– and actually attempted not to let it infiltrate my ears.

Then, just when I thought the discussion was over, she looked up without lifting her head, stared at me through her impossibly long, thick, dark lashes, and sighed, “I just think it’s gonna look like a gender reveal party, and unless there’s something you’re not telling me, I don’t think that’s the vibe you’re going for. ”

“No way!” I protested through gritted teeth. “The pink and white are for Aideen and me. The blue and silver are for the color of Kai’s wings. It represents both of us. How is that wrong?”

Picking up a roll of pink ribbon the size of one of the gallon jars of my other sister, Maisie’s, favorite jumbo dill pickles, she set it closer to me.

Grabbing another that was royal blue and one that was glittering silver, she laid them both next to the pink one, then harrumphed, “You don’t think this looks like the makings to tell all your family and friends the sex of your soon-to-be-born child?

” Raising her head, opening her eyes wide, and jutting out her chin, she added with a grimace, “Just like the one we had for our baby sister, Maisie?”

“First of all, I am well aware who our baby sister is. Secondly, I know very well what the decorations looked like because…” I drew out the word and got a little louder. “…I was the one who had to do it all. And…”

“And I have apologized at least nineteen times for having to sew Mr. Hambrick’s hand back onto his wrist after he got it caught in the rolling blades of that hooch-a-ma-jigger thingy on his tractor.”

“He’s a Pig Shifter, Maeve! He could have grown that hand back overnight.”

“But he’s the captain of the All Swine Bowling League, and they had a tournament against the Bovine Bowlers. I couldn’t just leave him hangin’.”

“Well, you damned sure didn’t have a problem leavin’ me hangin’.

I barely got it done before the guests started to arrive, and I never did get to change into that cute blue-and-pink color-block dress I bought.

I just had to wear my Marvelous Martha’s Brew House and Bougie Bags T-shirt, jeans, and new flowery Keds. ”

“But you did get it done.” Pumping her fist in the air, she let out a poor excuse for a woohoo. “It looked great in here, and everyone had a wonderful time. Maisie was so happy. She loved all the cupcakes, cookies, pink punch with blue sherbet, and all the presents.”

I stopped steaming the milk for Maeve’s Scaled Macchiato– a fierce layered espresso drink with a fiery kick of cinnamon and cayenne– that I had created for her the first day I opened Marvelous Martha’s Brew House & Bougie Bags and turned around.

With my hand firmly placed on my hip, I sniffed, “Yeah, well… I guess I’ll get over it.

” Motioning towards the decorations, I kept right on going, “But that’s not the point.

You couldn’t have said something about the colors, like, well, I don’t know, eight months ago when I started planning this ceremony? ”

“I didn’t think about it until I saw everything together.”

“But you helped me pick out the invitations, the reception RSVP cards, the napkins, and the drink coasters,” I huffed.

“Please, for the love of the Goddess in a lime green G-string, tell me you didn’t let me spend all that money, then send them out to the entire population of Dragoon Bootay, not to mention, Fate, the Powers That Be, the Baba Yaga, and Zelda, thinking they looked like a baby shower. ”

“Gender reveal party.”

“What the hell ever, Maeve!”

“Well, it matters,” she huffed. “And no, silver was the main color with the blue and pink as accents on all of that stuff. So, it didn’t remind me of babies.”

“But that’s what I want to do with those bouquets, too. Why in all that’s holy do you think there are ten cases of white silk roses tipped in silver under that damned table and twice as much silver ribbon as there is pink and blue?”

“Oh, yeah,” she offhandedly chuckled. “I didn’t think about all that.”

Taking the four steps to the back of the bar, I gripped the thick, leather bumper for dear life and stood perfectly still. “You didn’t think about that? Are you trying to give me a heart attack, or…?”

Unable to control my rising temper, wondering if my dear sister, a renowned and super smart doctor, remembered that I was: (A) Still in the throes of Dragon Queen menopause and therefore more than likely to shoot fireballs in every direction without warning.

(B) When a Dragoness of the Dellencourt Clan meets her Mate, which I most assuredly was and had, her body gets ready to accept his Magic by producing her very own Dragon Fireballs. Hence, I was a double fireball threat.

Or, to put it more succinctly, I was basically a living, breathing flame-thrower who could go off at any minute until the man made for me by the Universe, Kai Rí, my very own Fae King, and I had officially and irrevocably tied the knot.

To say I was searching for a calm that I hadn’t had since the onset of said menopause was an understatement.

As far as I knew, explaining that I had incinerated my sister two weeks before my Mating Ceremony and therefore only had one bridesmaid would not be an appropriate toast for the reception.

Or would it?

I could feel the fire rising in my eyes.

My spine was tingling. The little hairs at the nape of my neck were slowly rising.

The shit was about to hit the fan, and that was when Aideen, the very sassy, very wise, and incredibly observant Dragon Queen with whom I shared my soul, cleared her throat and spoke directly into my brain, “Girl, you gotta chill out. You’re about to explode. ”

“But Maeve is pushing all my buttons. She’s just trying to piss me off.”

“And that’s a reason to burn down the shop… again?”

“I didn’t say that. It’s just…”

“It’s just that,” Aideen sighed. “You have two weeks until the Mating Ceremony, and all of Dragoon Bootay is coming. Everything is almost ready, and Maeve is just messing with you. I get it. It’s irritating. So, I have to ask, why did you…?”

“I asked Maeve to help me because Maisie has three babies with chicken pox, Kai is on a forty-eight-hour shift at the Fire House, and Zelda is busy with her own family.”

“But most of all, you didn’t want to do it all by yourself,” she stated confidently, knowing that was the real reason, because, well, we shared a brain.

“Okay, you already know that’s the real reason. So why make me admit it?”

“I’m not making you admit anything. I’m simply saying that you have to deal with Maeve or do it all by yourself. That’s the trade-off.”

“Well, shit,” I sighed. “I really hate it when you’re right.”

“I know you do, but you love me, and I love you, and that’s what matters.”

“You’re really starting to scare me. I keep waiting for you to burst out singin’ Kumbaya.”

“You really are a dork.”

“Yeah, well…”

“Are you gonna keep talkin’ to Aideen and ignoring me? If so, I’ll just…”

“You’ll just what?” I knew I was being a brat, but I couldn’t stop myself. “What will you do, Maeve?”

“Ummm, nothing,” she grumped. “At least, not without my coffee. What’s takin’ so long?”

“You!” I snarled.

Spinning back toward my big, beautiful espresso machine, I closed the distance and grabbed the small stainless steel pitcher. Going to the sink, I poured out the half-steamed milk because it had a yucky skin on top, then rinsed it with hot water.

Back to the machine, I grabbed the milk, filled the pitcher, and stuck it under the frothing wand.

Growling under my breath about the advantages of just doing everything by myself, a howl sounded from Doggo Corner– the eight-foot-by-eight-foot space with a four-foot wall and ‘doors’ on the two outside walls in the corner closest to the counter and drive-thru window where I spent most of my time.

It was where my boys– two Irish Wolfhounds named Arthur and Otis, respectively, and a chocolate Shih Tzu named Chewbacca aka Chewy–hung out while we were at work.

Twirling so quickly that I almost spilled the scalding milk and tripped over my own two feet, I barked, “What’s up, Arthur? Is everything…?”

But that was as far as I got before the front door of my coffee shop blew open and in raced one of my best friends in the world, Theresa Thomas.

The White Tigress Shifter was a mess. Her long platinum hair with black lowlights was going every direction– something I had never seen, even when she was playing softball at noon in the South Texas heat.

She still had her Dragoon Bootay Police uniform on, which meant she’d left her shift as a 911 operator in one hell of a hurry, and her big blue eyes were so big I had to wonder if they were about to pop right out of her head.

Trying to get my brain to work long enough to form words, I shouldn’t have wasted my time. Before I could even get all the way turned around, she was panting, “Barney Mackrelfresh escaped from Purgatory Penitentiary. The FBH is on the way. They think he’s coming here for you, Martha!”