Chapter 22 #2
"Actually, I can't. I've got a project for Advanced Economics that I need to finish by tomorrow." I didn't miss the way Cade's shoulders tensed slightly, or how she drew the blanket tighter around herself, as if bracing against a sudden chill.
"Oh," she said, her voice small. "Okay."
"Maybe later?" Cole offered the words hollow, a platitude with no real intention behind them. "I should be done in a few hours."
"Sure," Cade nodded, her gaze dropping to her lap where her fingers worried at a loose thread in the blanket. "No problem."
Cole lingered for a moment longer, something like guilt flashing across his features before he nodded once and disappeared back up the stairs. The silence he left in his wake was heavy, laden with all the things none of us were saying.
I watched as Cade visibly tried to rally, to push down whatever hurt she was feeling.
"So," she said to Luce, her voice a little too bright, "what happened with Lisa and that guy from Syndicate House?
You were telling me about it yesterday, but we got interrupted.
" Luce launched into another story, but I was barely listening.
All I could focus on was the way Cade's eyes kept drifting toward the empty doorway where Cole had stood, the slight downturn of her mouth when she thought no one was looking.
It was the same look she got whenever Logan made his increasingly frequent excuses to be elsewhere.
The rage I'd suppressed during my father's call began to simmer again, directed now at my brothers.
For weeks, all three of us had been united in our desperation to find Cade, to bring her home.
We'd promised to protect her, to help her heal.
Yet now that she was here, now that the real work of recovery had begun, Logan and Cole were pulling away, finding reasons to be anywhere but with her.
I understood their guilt. God knows, I felt it too.
The weight of our failure to protect her, the knowledge that we'd branded her ourselves before Damien ever laid hands on her.
But that wasn't an excuse to abandon her now, when she needed us most.
My phone buzzed with a text.
Logan:
Meeting with Lynch in 20. Updates on McIntyre. You coming?
I typed back quickly:
Ryder:
Can't. Someone needs to stay with Cade.
The response was almost immediate:
Logan:
Luce is there. We need you on this.
I glanced at Cade, who was making a visible effort to engage with Luce's story, to appear okay despite the hurt that radiated from her in waves. Logan was right, this meeting was important. Finding Damien was a priority. But so was Cade's recovery, her emotional well-being.
Ryder:
Next time, I'm staying.
No response came. I slipped my phone back into my pocket, frustration building in my chest. Something had to give. We couldn't keep going like this, with Cade feeling abandoned by two of the three people who had promised to be there for her.
"I should probably head back to my room soon," Luce was saying, checking the time on her phone.
"I still have my English Lit assignment to do.
" Panic flashed across Cade's face, there and gone in an instant, but I caught it.
The thought of being alone, even in a house full of people, still terrified her.
"I'll stay," I said quickly, meeting Cade's eyes. "If that's okay with you?" Relief softened her features. "Yeah," she nodded. "That would be good." Luce shot me a grateful look as she stood, gathering her things.
"I'll come by tomorrow, okay?" she said to Cade, leaning down to give her a gentle hug. "Maybe we can convince you to step outside for a bit? Just to the garden, nothing major." Cade tensed but nodded.
"Maybe. I'll try."
"That's all anyone can ask," Luce said, squeezing her shoulder before straightening up. "Text me if you need anything before then."
I walked Luce to the door, leaving Cade curled up on the couch. Once we were out of earshot, Luce turned to me, concern evident in her blue eyes.
"What's going on with Cole and Logan?" she asked, keeping her voice low. "Cade's noticed they're avoiding her. It's not helping." I ran a hand through my hair, frustration bubbling up again.
"I know. Trust me, I know. They're dealing with their own guilt by throwing themselves into the hunt for Damien."
"And leaving you to pick up the slack," Luce observed, her tone sharp.
"I don't mind being with her," I said honestly. "I just wish they'd see what it's doing to her, thinking two of the three of us can't stand to be around her."
Luce nodded, her expression softening. "Talk to them. Make them see reason. She needs all of you right now, not just you."
"I will," I promised. "Tonight."
Max showed up just as we’d finished speaking, and I shot him a suspicious side eye.
I knew he had been spending more time with Luce, and while I was grateful for his protection, I was concerned that he was getting a little too close.
Maybe my creative death threats needed some more work, so he knew his place, because all he did was grin at me before offering Luce a lift home.
After seeing them out, I returned to the living room, where Cade had stretched out on the couch, her eyes closed, though I could tell from her breathing that she wasn't asleep.
"You don't have to stay with me, you know," she said without opening her eyes. "I know you probably have better things to do." I moved to sit on the edge of the coffee table, close enough that she could reach out if she wanted to, but not crowding her space.
"There's nowhere else I'd rather be, Poison.
I promise." She opened her eyes then, searching my face for any sign of insincerity.
Whatever she saw seemed to satisfy her, because she nodded once, a small smile tugging at her lips.
"Okay. But I'm probably going to fall asleep soon. The meds make me so tired."
"That's fine," I assured her. "I'll be here when you wake up.
" True to her word, it wasn't long before her breathing deepened and evened out, her body relaxing into true sleep.
I stayed where I was for a long time, just watching the gentle rise and fall of her chest, the occasional flutter of her eyelashes as she dreamed.
In sleep, with the tension eased from her features, she looked almost like the Cade we'd lost, the fierce, defiant girl who'd challenged us at every turn, who'd slapped me the first time we met, who'd stood her ground even when terrified.
I missed that Cade. But I loved this one too, with her fragility and her courage, her determination to heal despite everything that had been done to her.
The sound of a door opening and closing upstairs pulled me from my thoughts.
Cole, most likely. My earlier anger resurfaced, fuelled by the memory of Cade's hurt expression when he'd made his excuses and fled.
I glanced at her sleeping form, then at my watch.
Logan's meeting with Lynch would soon be wrapping up.
If I was going to confront them both, now was the time.
Carefully, I extracted my phone and sent a quick text to Owan, who I knew was studying in his room down the hall:
Ryder:
Can you sit with Cade for a bit? She's asleep, but I don't want her to wake up alone.
Owan's reply came almost immediately:
Owan:
On my way.
True to his word, Owan appeared in the doorway moments later, his expression softening as he took in Cade's sleeping form.
"I've got her," he assured me quietly. "Take your time." I nodded my thanks, taking one last look at Cade before heading for the stairs.
My anger built with each step, a righteous fury that had been simmering for days, weeks maybe.
By the time I reached the top of the staircase, my hands were clenched into fists at my sides, my breathing slightly elevated.
Cole's door was closed, a strip of light visible beneath it.
I could hear movement inside, the rustle of papers, the click of a laptop keyboard.
I raised my hand to knock, then paused, taking a deep breath to centre myself.
I needed to be in control for this conversation. Losing my temper wouldn't help Cade.