Chapter 15
What the fuck. I stared at my mother, stunned into silence.
For weeks I'd been searching for Cade's mother, uncovering nothing more than a name and basic information.
When I glanced at Cade, I saw she had gone pale.
Looking at her now, standing beside my mother, I realised she did bear a striking resemblance to the few photos I'd managed to find of Lissa Turner.
"I really didn't expect to see you again," my mother said, drawing my attention back to her. Her blue eyes, so like mine, were wide with genuine shock. "Did your plans fail again?"
"Plans?" Cade whispered, more to herself than anyone else. She looked up at my mother, hope flickering in her eyes like a fragile flame. "What plans?" she repeated, her voice stronger this time.
"Oh, you think we don't see what you're doing." My mother's tone sharpened. "You, girl, are going to get yourself into way too much trouble, especially if you keep-"
"Mum," I blurted out quickly, cutting her off. "This isn't Lissa."
"Ryder, wait," Cade pleaded, reaching for my arm.
The desperation in her voice was palpable, her need for information clearly outweighing any concern for my mother's mental state.
I didn't blame her; she had no idea of the mind games my father had played on my mother over the years.
We would get the information she needed, but we would do it properly.
"No," I said firmly, as Cade scowled at me. I turned back to my mother, whose expression had shifted to confusion.
"Mum, this is Cadence," I said, gesturing toward Cade. "Cadence Turner." My mother's eyes widened further, recognition dawning across her delicate features.
"Oh my goodness, dear," she gushed, moving closer to examine Cade's face. "You look so much like her." Cade closed her eyes and took a deep breath before opening them again. I could see her struggling to maintain her composure, fighting against the hope and fear warring inside her.
"Lissa is my mother," Cade said quietly. My mother shook her head, glancing nervously around the room. "She's not here, is she?" A hint of panic edged into her features.
"No, Mum, she's not here," I said quickly, moving to sit on the sofa beside her chair. I took her hand, feeling how cold and fragile it was. "Cade hasn't seen her mother in years. There's no record of her in over fifteen years."
Cade narrowed her eyes at me. "How would you know that?" I shrugged, not wanting to reveal the extent of my investigations.
"Because I was looking," I said simply. "And if I can't find someone, there's a reason they're hidden." Cade looked like she wanted to press me further, but my mother's sad expression stopped her.
"You grew up without your mother? How awful." She turned to Luce, her eyes filling with tears. "Just like my poor Lucinda. Oh, Lucinda, I am so sorry you didn't have a mother." Shit.
I jumped in quickly before she could say anything else that might reveal too much.
"Mum, do you know anything about Lissa?" I asked, redirecting the conversation. Cade's eyes lit up again as my mother's attention returned to the subject.
"We weren't friends, but we both lived in Courts House for a little bit together," my mother said.
I nodded, already aware that Cade's mother had been a Courts girl.
That much I'd discovered. I also knew she graduated a couple of years after my mother, but after that, information became sparse until about seventeen years ago when it stopped altogether, right around the time she abandoned Cade with her grandparents. The pattern didn't bode well.
"Lissa was..." My mother waved her hand in the air, searching for the right word.
The scent of her lavender perfume filled the space between us, bringing back childhood memories of when she was well.
"Ambitious," she finally said. "I was Consort the year she joined, so I wasn't living in the house then. "
"You were a Consort?" Cade asked, surprise evident in her voice. Had I really told her so little about my own life? My mother nodded sadly.
"Yes, dear," she said. "And I loved it." Then she quickly looked at Luce. "But it isn't all the glamour it's made out to be."
"You don't have to tell me that," Cade scoffed, and my mother gave her a worried look.
"Oh, sweetheart," she said, "I am so sorry. I was lucky because the man I loved was one of my Regents, and the other two were really good men. But I wouldn't wish that fate on anyone, and I don't understand why so many Legacy women aspire to it."
My mother extended her hand toward Cade, who hesitated before taking it. The sight of my mother and Cade, my girl, connected made something warm bloom in my chest, even as anxiety gnawed at my edges.
"I do hope that the men you have aren't too awful, dear," my mother said softly. My stomach dropped as Cade glanced at me. My mother caught the look and turned to me, disappointment etching deep lines into her face.
"Oh, Ryder, no," she cried, pulling her hand away from mine. The rejection stung, but I understood her reaction. "Have you learned nothing about the corruption and pain that organisation causes? I mean, look at your si-"
"Mum," I said sharply, cutting her off before she could finish the sentence.
I closed my eyes, feeling the pressure building behind my temples.
Normally my mother was better at controlling what she said, but she'd already slipped up twice in the last few minutes.
I opened my eyes and looked at her. She appeared so fragile, so scared, and I fucking hated seeing her that way.
I wanted so desperately to protect my mother and everyone important in my life. I forced a smile onto my face.
"It's complicated," I said finally. Both Luce and Cade scoffed.
I resisted the urge to glare at them. "What I mean is, I had to take the Regent title.
You know how Father gets, and he said if I didn't make Regent, he would stop me from taking over the company, among other things.
" I could tell from the look on my mother's face that she understood most of what I meant by "among other things.
" She knew my father was threatening to pull Luce into the Trivium if I didn't gain access to the Inner Circle like he wanted.
And to reach the Inner Circle, you had to be a Regent.
What my mother didn't know was that my father was also threatening to revoke her privileges at Lexington, to put her in one of the nameless wings, and me along with her if I didn't deliver.
"Yes, I am aware of the tyrant your father aspires to be," my mother scolded, her voice stronger than I'd heard it in months. "But Ryder, you should know that you can't beat the devil by becoming the devil. You might win the battle, but you still lose the war."
"Some of us are only meant to win the battle," I reasoned, meeting Cade's eyes.
Something in her gaze suggested understanding, or at least the beginning of it.
"There are better men than me who can take care of the war part.
" And I would willingly lose if it meant protecting my mother, protecting Luce, and now, more than ever, protecting my sweet Poison, even if it meant damning myself to protect her.
"Well, at least you managed something that your mother couldn't," my mother said with a chuckle, breaking the tension in the room. Cade looked at her, confusion creasing her brow.
"I'm sorry, what?" she asked. My mother nodded, clearly amused by some memory.
"While I wasn't living in the Courts House her first year, I still saw a fair bit of your mother," she explained. "There were always a few girls who thought that cosying up to the current Consorts would increase their chances of being picked the next year. Your mother was one of them."
"Really?" Cade leant forward. "My mom wanted to be a Consort?" My mother nodded, rolling her eyes.
"Oh yes, the Consort role was presented as such an amazing opportunity to all us Legacy girls growing up.
It meant stability and guaranteed a husband to look after us.
" She rolled her eyes again. "Stability, my ass," she scoffed.
"All you have to do is visit the Palace to see what happens to failed Consorts and Courts girls. "
"The Palace?" Cade's confusion seemed to deepen with each revelation.
"But Lissa was one of the more determined ones, that's for sure," my mother continued, now lost in her memories.
"Ooo, she was pissed when she wasn't picked in the Hunt.
I still remember the nightmare she was for the next year.
I swear I heard more than one of that year's Consorts accuse her of trying to sabotage them.
" Fuck. Cade's mother was starting to sound more like Julia than Cade herself.
My mother must have realised how this picture might affect Cade, because she quickly tried to soften her words.
"But a lot of the girls were like that," she said hastily. "For a house that is meant to be filled with ladies and elegance, it was one of the bitchiest places I ever lived. I mean, you will know that as much as I do." Cade nodded in agreement.
"Yeah, for the week that I was there, I definitely saw my fair share of nasty."
"Week?" my mother asked, her brow furrowing. "You would have been in the Courts House for at least a year." Alarm bells rang in my head. I didn't want my mother, or Cade, for that matter, figuring out that Logan, Cole, and I were the reason Cade had been pulled into our world so abruptly.
"No, I didn't join until this year," Cade explained. "I didn't even know all this existed before this year."