Chapter 18
Sadie
Lucan Hale is half a heartbeat away from kissing me, and I’m still here. I haven’t run away.
The wind whips around us, urging me to escape while I still can. My hair is bound in his fist, the sharp tug sending jolts of pleasurable pain through me.
Then all at once, it’s too late.
He closes the distance and kisses me.
Our lips clash, Lucan prying mine open. His powerful tongue slides along my own, filling my mouth. The sensation is overwhelming and brutal and makes my clit pulse against the tight seam of my leggings.
Lucan tastes like a drug, dangerous but seductive.
The ground tilts beneath my feet. He locks me in place with his mouth and hands. Caging me, like he said he wouldn’t do.
While his lips crush mine, I make a sound I don’t recognize, halfway between a moan and a growl. His hard cock twitches against my hip in response.
Heat pools in my stomach and races through my blood, like he lit a match inside me. It’s unfair how little control I have over my body’s desire for him.
He breaks the kiss just long enough to look at me, eyes searching.
“Say it,” he mutters. “Say you don’t want this.”
I stay silent, because something’s wrong with me. It must be, to let him do this.
A predatory look flashes in his eyes.
“Thought so,” he says with a smirk. “Your mouth tastes so sweet, Sadie. I want to fuck it.”
Alarm zings through me. “My… mouth? Oh.”
He can’t be serious.
Though his words horrify me, heat also lurches deep in my core.
I’ve never gone down on a man before. My ex used to ask for it, but denying Chace was easy.
Lucan isn’t easy to deny though. Not a single thing about him is easy.
He strokes my neck and somehow it feels like a threat. “You owe me three orders.”
I try to shake my head, but I can’t move. “No way.”
“Beautiful girl, you failed your first order at Altar. You owe me three in its place. That’s the Darkbloom rule.”
Defiance wells up in me, even as my blood roars with arousal.
“If I don’t?” I ask.
“You can leave.” His eyes flick to the door. “But I’ll be very disappointed in you.”
“What makes you think I’d care if you’re disappointed?”
Without warning, he presses his fingertips against my pussy through my leggings.
“This,” he says. “I can feel how much you want me. Your body’s begging for my cock.”
I nearly pass out.
At his touch, pleasure surges straight to my core.
“I’m not having sex with you,” I say, breathless. “Not a chance.”
“I want to fuck your mouth, remember? Keep up.”
“You’re insane.”
Lucan’s fingers move from my pussy to cover my throat. “That’s not a no.”
He’s right. It’s not.
Could I really go down on him? What if I’m bad at it? I’d have no idea what I’m doing.
“Get on your knees and open your mouth for me,” he says. “That’s your first order.”
He’s the pushiest person I’ve ever met. He’s way too much.
“I can’t,” I say.
“You can.” Sarcasm enters his husky voice. “I believe in you, Sadie.”
“God, you’re an asshole.”
“Calling me god is a good start.” His hand tightens on my neck. “What’ll it be? Will you obey or fail?”
I hiss in frustration. “Three orders and I’m done? I don’t owe you anything?”
“That’s right.”
“Let go of me,” I say, needing a moment to think.
Lucan relaxes his grip on my hair and neck. He steps back enough for his erection to stop drilling into my hip.
My mind reels while I try to gather a single rational thought.
Leave.
Just leave right now.
He’s not holding me anymore. If I stay, this is completely on me.
The thought of taking Lucan in my mouth turns me on, I have to admit. My pussy aches for him, with zero regard for good sense.
So I stay where I am, even though I should run, and I pray I don’t live to regret my actions. College is meant for bad decisions, right?
Slowly, I lower myself to my knees while he watches. The cold cement bites my knees through my leggings.
Oh god, what am I doing?
Lucan is a dark angel standing over me, beautiful and horrifying. I can’t believe I’m taking orders from anyone, let alone him.
He moves his hand to his pants and unzips. A line of dark hair leads over his lower abs to his cock, which strains against the fabric like a monster fighting for freedom.
Fear balloons in me as he pushes down his pants and boxers. My heart thumps as he wraps his fingers around the shaft and pulls it out. Veins pop against the smooth skin of his cock, the engorged head shining in the moonlight.
He’s so long and thick. Thicker than my throat is wide.
My voice comes out in a rasp. “I don’t think it will fit. It’s too big.”
“It’ll fit,” he says. “I’ll make it.”
He caresses my face, gazing down at me like he wants to freeze time to remember this moment forever. Pre-cum beads at the ridge in the head of his cock.
Lucan grabs my chin with one hand and his shaft with the other. My hands grasp his pants at the knees to steady myself.
While my blood races, Lucan presses the tip of his cock to the corner of my mouth. He glides the crystal bead of pre-cum across my bottom lip and then my top lip, like he’s applying lip gloss on me.
“You look so fucking pretty.” He angles his head, admiring his handiwork. “Taste it.”
My breath shuddering, I hesitantly swipe my tongue over my lips. I taste the salty sweetness of his pre-cum mixed with my strawberry lip balm. Wetness meets my underwear, seeping into the fabric, and I worry I’m scenting the air with my arousal.
Trying to satisfy my tingling pussy, I discreetly squeeze my legs together, but my movement gently pinches my clit, making my desire soar.
“How does it taste?” he asks, holding his cock inches from my face.
The strawberry-tinged pre-cum still coats my tongue.
“Shameful,” I say truthfully.
Because shame swims vicious laps through me, not just arousal.
After tonight, I can never speak to him again. I’ll pretend tonight never happened and that he doesn’t exist.
But at this moment, he’s impossible to ignore.
Lucan puts the shining head of his cock near my lips. “Lick me.”
My shoulders quivering, I put my tongue to the head and take a few tentative licks.
The skin is ultra smooth, pulled taut by his coursing blood. His pre-cum slides into my mouth as I swirl my tongue around with no clue what I’m doing. My timid strokes make his cock twitch and his muscular legs tense up.
Am I doing it right?
My tongue slips through the tiny opening where the pre-cum beads from.
Lucan groans. “Fuck. That’s good.”
My clit pulses harder.
Just as I think maybe I can do this, he pulls back.
Holding his legs, I wonder what comes next. There’s definitely more to a blowjob than licking, I know that much.
He hooks his thumb on my bottom teeth and tugs my mouth open. “You’re going to be a good girl and let me fuck your throat now, Sadie. That’s your second order.”
Apprehension cuts through my chest, because I still don’t think it’ll be possible.
With his thumb hooked in my mouth, he pauses.
He’s waiting for me to refuse or leave.
I do neither.
With a horrendously aching pussy, I even nod once.
“You’ve never done this before, have you?” His fingertips fondle my neck. “I can tell by the terror in your pretty eyes.”
“No,” I say, the word sounding strange with his knuckle digging into the roof of my mouth.
He pushes down with his thumb, hinging my jaw wide. “I would promise I’ll be gentle, but I don’t want to lie to you.”
When I draw breath to curse him, he guides his cock into my mouth. My tongue flattens to make way for him, my lips sealed tight around his shaft. The words I was going to cuss him out with are trapped in my throat as an angry hum.
Lucan gazes down at me with hooded eyes. “Yeah, that feels fucking amazing.”
Trying again to speak and failing, I realize the vibrations are traveling into his shaft, pleasuring him, so I stop talking.
I need every ounce of my concentration anyway. My jaw already aches and I’m fighting not to gag. To brace myself as best I can, I dig my fingertips into his legs.
Lucan glides his tip to the back of my mouth to nudge past the soft fleshy part. My throat contracts in protest, tightening around him and causing his shaft to harden like steel.
Before I can gasp a scrap of air, he cradles my skull in both hands. His fingers thread through my hair and squeeze, anchoring me to him. My lips only just stretch around his girth.
I knew he wouldn’t fit. He’s way too big.
Yet he pushes his cock further, his pre-cum salty on my tongue. My throat tries to close but can’t, tears prickling in my eyes.
“Such a good girl.” His voice is low with heat. “Breathe through your nose, beautiful. Try to relax while I fuck this pretty mouth. You’re doing so good.”
His praise sends an unexpected shot of pleasure through my inner muscles, and my underwear is so wet I can feel it soaking through to my leggings. I’ll have to tie my sweater around my waist when I leave.
This is so wrong.
Why does it feel so good?
My eyes watering, I take sips of air through my nose, which does help.
Lucan urges himself further, testing me. As he pushes well past the back of my tongue, my gag reflex kicks in hard. My throat convulses around his unyielding cock, trying to expel him.
He backs off slightly, giving me a chance to regain a fraction of composure. My eyes are streaming and saliva pools in my mouth, but my retching stops.
I bet I look a mess, but that’s the least of my problems right now.
“Good.” He adjusts his hold on my hair. “I’m going to fuck your throat properly now. I’m not going to stop until I fill you with my cum.”
Before I can prepare myself mentally for what he’s promised, Lucan pushes into my throat, his smooth shaft entering further than before.
He thrusts without holding back, gliding in and out of me in a frantic rhythm. The only air I can inhale is through my nostrils on the outward thrusts. Saliva floods my mouth and throat, and my nose runs like a tap.
His entire body tenses as he drives himself into me so far that my gag reflex becomes irrelevant. Every fraction of space in my mouth and throat is filled by him.
He groans louder. “Fuck, you feel incredible.”
Jerking his hips, he pumps back and forth. My throat gives way little by little with every push, and he never pulls back further than the base of my tongue.
“Fuck, Sadie,” he says through a clenched jaw. “You’re going to make me explode.”
His punishing thrusts speed up. “I’m going to cum in your throat and you’re going to swallow every drop. That’s your third order.”
All I can do is hold on with my hands and steal tiny sniffs of oxygen into my lungs.
Tears run down my neck, and saliva spills from the corners of my mouth. The sound is unholy, my choked slurps punctuated by my occasional whimpers, while my drenched pussy pulsates with lust.
Lucan’s body locks up and then shudders. For a second, he sounds like he’s in immense pain, gritting his teeth and moaning. He drives himself inside while clutching my head.
Then his cum fills my throat in warm shots, flowing up to the back of my mouth. The taste is salty and so foreign.
“Swallow all of it, Sadie,” he says. “Don’t let me see a drop out of your lips or you fail again. You don’t want to owe me nine orders.”
No, I really, really don’t.
With my lips wrapped around his cock, I gulp. He’s in so deep that I couldn’t spit out his cum if I wanted to now. My throat rolls over his shaft as I swallow it all down.
“Good girl,” he says when I finish. “So fucking good.”
As the tension leaves his body, his grip on my head loosens. Slowly, he pulls his hips back to drag his cock from my throat and mouth.
Panting, I gasp for air and wipe my nose. My legs are weak.
He puts his cock away and zips up, while I sag on my knees to catch my breath.
“Look at me,” he says.
A lock of hair has fallen over his eyes and his chest heaves. It’s the most disheveled I’ve ever seen him.
“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he says.
He’s got to be lying, because I know I look terrible. My nose, eyes, and mouth are running, and I’m definitely red in the face.
When I stand, he catches my arm to steady me. Unable to look at him, I cover my face by wiping it with my sweater sleeve.
What have I done?
I’ll regret this even worse in the morning than I do now.
I surrendered to primal lust. Lucan said he’d be disappointed if I didn’t obey, but I’m disappointed I did. Giving blowjobs to morally bankrupt heirs isn’t why I came to Darkbloom.
“This can’t happen again,” I say, my voice croaky. “I obeyed your orders. That’s it. All done.”
Lucan tries to cup my chin, but I push him off. His eyes, hazy from pleasure, sharpen.
“You know we’re not done,” he says with a steely edge, like he needs it to be true.
As he steps toward me, I fold my arms across my chest in an attempt to block him.
But the barrier is useless. Reaching over, he brushes his thumb over my cheek to wipe away a tear. Pressing the droplet to his tongue, his eyes delve into my own.
“You’re a fucking creep,” I whisper. “I can’t stand you.”
“I know,” he says. “But you’re still mine.”
His lips press to my forehead, kissing me in a gesture so tender it should be illegal.
“That’s the best I’ve ever felt,” he says. “You are incredible.”
He tries to kiss my lips, and that’s when I wrench myself away from him.
“I’m not yours,” I say. “I wish you wouldn’t say that.”
My mind and body brim with frustration, disbelief, and an attraction to him that shouldn’t exist.
I’m not really frustrated with him, but myself. I let him do this, knowing it would cost me dignity, peace, and certainty about who I am and what I want.
Life is simpler when I keep people at a distance and take care of myself. I know that. I learned it the hard way.
Why am I letting Lucan push that boundary? He’s the last person I should be letting in or bending my rules for. Everything about him feels dangerous.
“I wish someone wasn’t trying to kill me,” I say.
“Because swallowing my cum gave you something to live for?” he asks.
I twitch the hem of my sweater lower, praying he didn’t see the telltale dampness at the meeting of my thighs. “Because then I wouldn’t need you.”
My words were meant to repel him, so it pisses me off when he laughs appreciatively.
Asshole.
The door opens with a bang, making me jump. Juliette and Clara come through the doorway, eyes skating over Lucan and me.
Thank god they didn’t get here five minutes earlier.
“Hey, guys.” I clear my throat, my voice still croaky. “What’s up?”
Juliette glares at Lucan. His mask of untouchable coldness has magically returned with the appearance of my friends.
“Sadie, we’ve been looking for you everywhere,” says Clara. “The after-feast party is over.”
“Yeah, let’s go back to our dorm room,” says Juliette, beckoning to me.
I nod. “Sounds good.”
They start down the stairs.
Before I follow, I look back at Lucan.
With his hands in his pockets, he gives me a smug, satisfied smile, as if he got everything he wanted tonight and more.
One sentence of his repeats in my mind. As with most of what he says, it sounded as much like a threat as a promise.
You know we’re not done.