Chapter 32
Sadie
Well, this is terrifying.
Am I sitting next to the man who killed Parker and Hannah, and tried to drag me into a stolen car?
Lucan’s opposite me, glaring at Damon while toying with a soup spoon like he’s seconds away from lunging.
My boyfriend.
I still can’t believe we’re together. Properly together, like the whole world knows.
My feelings for him are evolving from revulsion and resentment to something big and warm and scary. It’s new to me, for sure, but I don’t completely hate it.
Staff pour drinks and lay platters of elaborate food, but my nerves have throttled my appetite. I accept white wine in a crystal goblet and salmon cakes.
Lucan’s father, Alexander, surveys us from his place at the head of the table.
“Sadie,” he says. “You’re a writer?”
I swallow my mouthful of wine. “Um, yes.”
So articulate.
“What are you working on in class now?” he asks, slicing what looks like raw red meat on his plate.
“My professor has us focusing on characters,” I say, aware of everyone’s attention on me. “Exploring their motivations.”
“Ah, interesting topic.” Alexander’s mouth gives a wry twist. “We’d all like to know what drives the people around us.”
Gareth drinks his burgundy wine. His food is untouched, and dark shadows bruise the skin under his eyes.
Sympathy spills through my chest as I contemplate him. Losing two children must be unbearable.
“And have you figured it out yet?” Adelle asks me, her voice cool and detached. “There’s a villainous individual in our lives, killing people. What drives them, do you think?”
My throat goes dry. She holds my gaze, as if challenging me.
Is she a killer? Is her brother?
I resist the urge to look at Damon and try to read guilt or innocence on his face.
Tension pours from Lucan like charcoal vapors. Before he can strangle his step-cousins, I come up with an answer to Adelle’s question.
“Power.” The taunting growl of the killer’s voice rings in my mind. “The man who attacked me might be trying to protect himself from me giving evidence against him, but he’s having fun doing it. I think he enjoys the power.”
Gareth scratches his stubbly cheek. “He must feel powerless in his life if he has to target the most harmless people. My darling Hannah. My gentle Parker.” His glazed eyes fall on me. “And you? You don’t seem to have a cruel bone in your body.”
“Looks can be deceiving,” says Teenie absentmindedly, swirling her drink.
Lucan’s eyes flash with something dangerous, and Teenie rushes to explain, her voice rising at least an octave.
“I simply mean, people aren’t always what they seem, are they?” she asks. “It’s how monsters walk among us. They wear masks. Costumes.”
At the mention of costumes, Damon and Adelle chat about which Halloween parties they’ll attend next week. Glad to be out of the table’s spotlight, I decide to eat.
I hesitate to pick up a utensil because five sit on either side of my plate and two above.
Why didn’t I study an etiquette guide before I came? I should’ve known the table settings would be complicated at a billionaire’s house.
From the corner of my eye, I see Lucan’s hand move. He selects the outermost fork, pausing deliberately without meeting my eyes.
With a rush of gratitude, I choose the same fork for my salmon cakes and take a bite. He starts eating too.
Teenie brushes her neck. “What a gorgeous necklace, Sadie. Exquisite.”
Lucan’s fork pauses midway to his mouth.
My face growing hot, I swallow. “Yes, it’s lovely.”
Regret zigzags through me. Wearing an heirloom for my first time meeting Lucan’s family was too much. Way too much.
I tried to tell Lucan, but he insists I keep it on. He said his father’s happy for me to wear it and his mother’s not here to care.
Sneaking a glance at Alexander, my shoulders loosen because he genuinely seems unfazed. In fact, he barely looks up at Teenie’s words. It’s like I’m wearing any random pendant.
Maybe the Hales really do have so many heirlooms that they lose track.
“Ah, she blushes.” Teenie gives me a knowing look. “Sadie doesn’t like attention.”
“Too bad,” says Damon. “She and Lucan are all over the college gossip accounts.”
I cough. “Excuse me?”
“You haven’t seen them?” asks Adelle. “Royce, Darkbloom, and all the East Coast colleges have gossip accounts on social media. There are photos of you and Lucan at the campus coffeeshop from every angle imaginable.”
I thought the patrons at The Bindery took photos to show an interested friend or two. But they were sending them to online accounts?
“Really?” I ask, wanting to sink into the floor.
Damon grunts. “Of course. The Prince of Darkbloom giving the time of day to, well, anyone? That’s big news.”
Lucan lifts his gaze to the ceiling. “Please don’t fucking call me that.”
“Language at the table,” snaps Alexander.
“Gossip comes with the territory,” says Adelle with a shrug. “For better or worse, people care what we do.”
She said we, like I’m included. Like I’m one of them.
But how can I be? I didn’t know student gossip accounts existed until thirty seconds ago. I don’t even know which fork to use.
“Lucan, you should come over to our house,” says Gareth. “See if you want anything of Parker’s. We’re keeping his bedroom as he left it, like Hannah’s. There might be photos you’d like to have, to remember him by.”
Teenie purses her lips, which she tries to conceal by sipping her drink, but I see it.
I think Lucan notices too, because his eyes linger on her before he answers.
“Thank you, uncle,” he says. “But I wouldn’t want to disturb his things.”
“Consider the offer open-ended,” says Gareth. “His room isn’t going anywhere.”
At the end of the night, Lucan takes my hand to ascend the huge white-marble staircase.
“I’ll show you my childhood bedroom.” He pauses. “One of them anyway.”
“I’d like that,” I say.
“Thank you for coming tonight. You did great.”
“You think so?”
“Dad showed you his stamp collection after dinner, which means he adores you. I’m not surprised though. Everyone likes you.”
“Except the person trying to murder me,” I point out.
Lucan’s bedroom is more personalized than I expected. Photos with his family and friends fill the wall over a desk. A school banner hangs over his bed, and his shelves are crammed with books.
Pausing at the desk, I examine the photos. Lucan rarely smiled, even as a child, though he grins in an image alongside a girl and boy with pine trees in the background.
“Hannah and Parker,” I say.
“Summer camp,” says Lucan from behind me.
I turn to him. “That’s so wholesome.”
He shrugs. “You know me. Wholesome through and through.”
Laughter bubbles from my mouth. “Yeah, right.”
“That’s the last year I was allowed to be a kid,” he says thoughtfully, as if he’s realizing it for the first time. “After that summer, my apprenticeship to become Dad’s successor began, full throttle.”
“He wanted to prepare you for what you’d face. That’s nice.”
“Nice? He wanted to secure the family legacy, as my grandfather did with him.”
“It can still be nice,” I say. “Giving you guidance is better than leaving you to fend for yourself. I mean, what would you want for your children?”
“For them to look like you.”
His words derail my train of thought, and I turn my burning face away from him.
“Don’t do that.” He touches my chin to direct me back. “Don’t hide from me. You can’t, for one thing. I won’t let you.”
“Okay. I’ll try not to.”
His eyes become serious. “I need to tell you something. It might be difficult to hear, but I think you should know.”
Oh god, what has he done now? Chipped me in my sleep?
Bracing myself, I fold my arms. “Go on.”
“It’s not about me. It’s something I found out.”
My imagination runs wild with possibilities, but I don’t come close to guessing correctly.
“I looked into the circumstances of Russell’s death in prison,” says Lucan. “And I got ahold of his criminal case file.”
My chest tightens. “Why would you do that?”
“You said he was brutalized, not just killed. It gave me a hunch.” He pauses. “After Russell was arrested for arson, his trailer was searched. Police recovered hard drives containing the type of pictures and videos that—” He clears his throat. “Gets people killed in prison.”
I’m unable to process what I’m hearing, and my breathing becomes uneven.
“What? Do you mean—”
“Russell was a monster. I didn’t know if I should tell you, since he was at your place a lot, and you were a teenager. Did he ever try—”
“To me?” Nausea rocks my body. “No. When Mom was out, I left too, because I hated Russell. I was almost never alone with him.”
“An inmate jumped him in prison because word leaked about his interest in kids. The assault wasn’t random, and it wasn’t your fault.”
Numbness comes over me. “I don’t know what to feel. It’s not like I framed him for that reason. I just wanted him away from my mom.”
Lucan puts his warm hands on my shoulders, the weight soothing. “Right. You clocked him as the soul-sucking piece of shit he was. You just didn’t know everything about him yet.”
“It doesn’t let me off the hook though, does it?”
“For what it’s worth, I think the only one keeping you on the hook is you. It’s your call whether you want to move on or not. But making yourself miserable won’t bring anything good into the world.” He draws me close. “Living your life might though.”
Exhaling, I bury my face in his broad chest, feeling the steady rhythm of his breath. I allow myself to melt into him on a deeper level than just physically.
It’s official. Lucan Hale has touched my heart. I’m not quite handing it over to him yet, but he’s definitely earned a certain level of trust from me.
The effect his support has had on me is substantial. By sharing what I once believed unshareable, I feel like maybe I’m not doomed after all.
I can decide to move on. Move forward. Have a real life, be a real person.
I know Lucan’s grim past too. He trusted me enough to confide in me. What if he’s right about us being perfect for one another?
I came to Darkbloom for an education, but I might’ve found so much more.