Chapter 26
26
Devon
WALKING INTO A silent house did nothing for the anxiety making him restless and edgy. Leaving Janie standing there on her porch was one of the hardest things he’d ever done. All he wanted was to bring her home. Bring her back where she belonged.
But it had to be her choice. He could show her the truth, but he’d meant it when he told Riley he wouldn’t convince a woman to be with him. No matter how much he wanted to.
Pulling out his phone, he paced down the hall as he swiped across the screen, finding the text from Sharon letting him know she was taking the girls to a movie so he could have a little time to himself.
He didn’t know whether to thank her or throttle her. If Janie had run into his arms the way he was hoping she would, having the house to themselves would have been perfect. But she hadn’t jumped like he’d wanted, and it left him with too much silence. Too much room to doubt what he was trying so hard to believe would happen.
She had to pick him. Had to. She just needed to see herself the way he did.
The way his girls did.
But expecting someone to change their whole way of thinking after so many years was a big ask.
“Fuck.” Raking one hand through his hair he went for the garage, choosing not to get caught up in that way of thinking.
He was going to clean out the garage. So she would have room for anything that didn’t fit in the house. So she would have somewhere to park.
Swinging the door open, he stared down the half organized pile of shit he’d abandoned when Janie walked out of his life. He went straight for the biggest items, hanging bicycles from ceiling hooks screwed into the rafters, lining tools onto the bank of steel shelving running along the back wall. Folding up tarps and stacking unused bags of potting soil left from a school project Gwen did comparing GMO and non-GMO seeds.
He stopped every half hour to check his watch and his phone, jaw clenching tighter and tighter as more and more time passed.
She wasn’t coming. She was going to listen to all the dumbfucks in her past who told her she was a failure. That she was wrong for refusing to stay where she didn’t want to be.
All the motivation seeped out of his veins, replaced by a bone-deep exhaustion he’d probably feel for a long time. Pushing the last of the debris scattered across the floor to the edge of the space, he leaned the wooden handle of the broom against the unfinished drywall. Just as he flipped off the lights, a car pulled up on the other side of the door, engine shutting off.
Sharon and the girls were back. And now he had to explain to his daughters that Janie was gone.
He would never tell them her reasons for leaving. That would be another secret he kept, and this time there was no one else to leak the truth.
Closing the door, he walked through the kitchen, dread building in his gut as they unlocked the front door. He reached it just as it opened, girding his loins for the upset that was coming.
But it wasn’t his daughters staring at him with wide eyes.
Janie licked her lips, shifting on her feet. “Hey.” She cleared her throat. “I hope it’s okay that I used the key you gave me.”
He’d all but given up on seeing her here, and having her on his porch had stunned him into silence. Rendered him unable to string words together. All he could do was stare, a little worried he was hallucinating. That one of the gas cans in the garage was leaking and the fumes shorted out his brain.
She took a shaky breath, turning toward the driveway to motion at where the box truck was parked. “I just pulled in. I can try to back it—”
Her words cut off on a little yelp as he grabbed her by the front of her coat and dragged her inside, pulling her tight to him as he pulled in deep br eaths against her hair, letting the rich, deep scent fill his lungs the same way it would soon fill his house.
“You scared the shit out of me, J.” His hold on her tightened. “I thought you weren’t coming.”
Her arms slowly came to circle his back. After a few beats, she finally started to relax against him. “I tried to talk myself out of it.” She tipped her head back, eyes lifting to his. “Your girls—”
He sealed his lips over hers to shut her up. Keeping one arm around her waist, the other came to the side of her face, fingers sliding into the dark curls of her hair as he dropped his forehead to hers. “My girls are lucky as hell to have you in their lives.” He kissed her again, needing the contact. The feel of her skin on his. “And they know it.” He met her searching gaze. “They love you, J.” He didn’t pause. There was no need. “I love you.” Stroking the pad of his thumb across her lower lip, he pulled in another breath, trying to settle the unrest he’d been living with for weeks. “I’m sorry I didn’t figure out what happened sooner.”
She gave him a small smile. “You’re not a mind reader.”
“No, but I should have thought shit through instead of getting hung up on my own shit.” He kissed her again. “I can’t expect you to spell it out for me all the time.”
Janie’s brows lifted. “Are you sure?” Her eyes drifted to the still open front door. “Because it looks like you’re going to heat the outside.” Her gaze dropped to his feet. “And you’re wearing your barn boots in the house.”
He s miled, the expression real and genuine for the first time in weeks. “I did clean out the garage, if that changes anything.”
“It does change things a little.” Her smile matched his as both arms lifted to drape around his neck. She took a deep breath, her eyes widening. “Bergamot!”
He waited a minute, expecting her to explain, but she just continued grinning up at him. “What?”
Janie shook her head. “Nothing. Never mind.”
He chuckled, shaking his head. “We can circle back to that later.” Keeping her against him, he leaned to close the door then pulled her along as he moved toward the stairs. “Would you like a tour of your new home?”
She laughed, the sound light and easy as it filled his house. “I’ve been here before, nerd.”
“But you haven’t been upstairs.” She’d had plenty to keep her busy on the bottom two floors, and she’d managed to get his girls to handle their own rooms, so there hadn’t been a reason for her to explore the top floor. “Full disclosure, I’m primarily interested in showing you one room in particular.”
One dark brow angled. “I bet I can guess which one.” Her eyes drifted down his body. “And I think I’d like a very thorough tour.”
She didn’t have to tell him twice. In the blink of an eye, he had her up over his shoulder, ready to make up for all the time they’d lost.
But his boot had barely hit the first step when the front door banged open and loud voices filled the entry, firing off three questions simultaneously .
“What’s that truck in the driveway?”
“What’s for dinner?”
“Why’s Janie over your shoulder?”
He stopped in his tracks, looking around for a reason to explain the last one. “Uhh.”
“He’s practicing for work.” Janie wiggled around, letting out a little grunt as he put her down. Once she was on her feet, she turned to face the girls. “It’s a requirement that he has to be able to carry an adult up a flight of stairs.” Her expression was deadpan. “For safety purposes.”
“Ohhh.” His two younger daughters seemed to buy the explanation.
Riley and Sharon, not so much.
“I thought that was a fireman thing?” Riley crossed her arms, one brow angling.
“Nope.” Janie didn’t miss a beat as she matched Riley’s crossed arm stance. “Cops too.”
They stared at each other for a second. Then his daughter launched herself at Janie, nearly knocking them both to the floor in the process.
In quick succession his other two daughters joined in, pinning Janie into the middle of their group for a few silent seconds. Then, as usual, they all started to talk at once.
“I started hair school and I freaking love it.”
“They bumped me up to the varsity basketball cheer team.”
“I scored a twenty-four on my practice ACT.”
Jani e leaned back, her eyes wide as they bounced around the girls surrounding her. “No shit?”
They all nodded.
“Well,” she took a deep breath, “I was offered a crap ton of money for a job in a different state.” She glanced at him. “But then I remembered I never taught your dad how to make layered enchiladas, so I decided to pass on it.”
“So you’re staying?” Riley’s question was soft. Hesitant.
Janie nodded, reaching out to stroke down his daughter’s hair. “I’m staying.”
“Here with us?” Olivia rocked up on her toes, eyes bright. “Is that your moving truck in the driveway?”
Janie nodded again, though this one was a little slower. “If that’s okay.” She glanced Devon’s way. “If you girls don’t want—”
“We do.” Gwen leaned closer, dropping her voice like he wouldn’t still be able to hear her. “Our dad is kind of a downer when you’re not around.”
“Downer, huh?” She lifted her brows, turning his way. “I guess I’ll have to stay then.”
He wasn’t naive enough to think this was how it would always be. That his daughters would never have moments where they were frustrated or even mad at the woman beside him. But right now, this moment, was fucking perfect. For Janie. It was what she needed more than anything. To know these girls loved her with their whole hearts. That no matter what, they wanted—needed—her around.
Even if they blamed it on him.
He clapped his hands. “Since everyone is so excited that Janie’s staying with us, then I’m sure everyone will be happy to help get her truck unloaded.”
His girls went quiet.
“That’s what I thought.” He crossed to the door where Sharon was lingering. She caught him as he passed, his daughters back to chatting excitedly with Janie about all she’d missed.
Her hand gripped his, holding tight. A sad smile curved her lips. “I’m happy for you, Devon. You deserve someone who loves the hell out of you.”
His chest tightened as he struggled to find words that might ease Sharon’s pain.
There weren’t any.
No matter what, her daughter would never have the chance to find someone she could love the hell out of. She would never have the chance to watch her girls grow up.
But hopefully, wherever she was, Mags would be happy to know the woman picking up where she had to leave off would make sure her daughters were loved and appreciated. Understood and encouraged. That they never settled.
And never stayed anywhere but exactly where they wanted to be.