Chapter 4
Chapter Four
“What did I say to him?” Carter laughed as he stirred the thick stew in the pot. It was a cold laugh and lacked any real humor. “Don’t worry about it, sweetheart.”
She frowned. “What does that mean?”
“It means that it doesn’t matter what I said, as long as it worked.” He shrugged. “But I’ve got an ace in the hole if he gives you anymore grief. You know what he’s doing is illegal, right?”
She leaned against the counter and shrugged. “I hadn’t really thought about it. I know telling on your boss doesn’t tend to help your career much.” After a second, she added, “Don’t think having my husband talk to him is going to help much either. He won’t respect me after this.”
Carter stopped and stared at her, and then he shook his head.
“Ally… the man who called you a stupid bitch because you weren’t answering his texts after midnight didn’t respect you.
The man who has been dumping half his workload on you for months didn’t respect you.
What do you think is going to change after this? ”
She opened her mouth and then closed it.
“Exactly. Nothing.” He put down the stirring spoon and pulled her into his arms. “You, love, have a problem saying no to people. It’s unhealthy.”
She squirmed, looking away as her cheeks heated. “I’m a sub, remember? It’s part of the gig.”
He snorted. “Even subs need to learn to say no.”
“Even to you?” She snuck a quick glance at him.
A low growl rumbled in his chest and his arms tightened around her. “Especially to me. You are allowed to have limits and boundaries, sweetheart. You know that, but you don’t have trouble saying no to me—just everyone else for some reason.”
He wasn’t wrong, and she didn’t really understand it either. It was just that, “You’re safe.” And then when he didn’t reply, she added, “I know you won’t freak out if I say no. I know you won’t get angry and … you know.”
Carter sighed and lowered his head until his forehead touched hers. “I know. I’m your safe place and that’s all I ever want to be. But you do need to learn to stand up for yourself against other people. Fuck Edward if he gets pissed. He’s a terrible boss anyway.”
“Can’t argue that.” She let herself relax against him. The tension slowly drained out of her body as he held her. “I was thinking… about what you said this morning?”
“Oh? About trying a new kind of dynamic?”
“That, and about how I need to learn to accept help.” She swallowed hard. It was difficult to get the words out, and finally she blurted them before she lost the courage. “I think you’re right.”
He smiled. “Glad to hear it. I like being right now and then. So, how would you feel about me trying out the Daddy role?”
“Daddy?” Her voice squeaked a little, and she could feel her cheeks getting hotter. It was as if he knew what she’d been thinking. “What made you come up with that?”
“Well, I’ve always kind of thought of myself as a Daddy Dom type anyway. It fits well with the discipline and the rules. I like taking care of people, even if I haven’t been doing a great job of that lately and Daddy Doms excel at being caretakers.”
Allegra let out a sigh. It was so weird that he’d gone right to that. Weird but a relief. It saved her from having to suggest it. “I-I’ve actually been reading a lot of Daddy stories lately,” she admitted.
“Oh?” He loosened his grip on her. One hand nudged her chin up until he was looking into her eyes. “Any reason for that?”
“It’s popular. I kind of stumbled down a rabbit hole.” She shifted from one foot to the other, feeling trapped suddenly. A few deep breaths helped. “I guess, with things changing between us, I kind of retreated into fantasy. The longer it went…”
“The more you tried to fill those needs with fiction,” he finished, nodding as if something had just clicked for him.
“I understand. Again, I wish we’d talked about this sooner.
” He blew out an exasperated breath. “Tell me about the things you read that interested you, and we can talk about how it might work in our relationship. Deal?”
She searched his expression for any hint that he was just placating her, but he seemed genuinely pleased with the idea. A slow smile curved her lips. “Deal.”
Dinner was almost done, so he sent her off to change into something comfortable while he pulled it off the heat and set it on the kitchen table. They had serious things to talk about while they ate, but despite that, the atmosphere was relaxed and she found herself smiling and laughing a lot.
For the first time in ages she felt completely stress free.
Obviously knowing she had three weeks off work was part of it, but mostly…
she was just so happy to feel so connected to Carter again.
The love had been there. Their sex life had continued to be great.
But she was starting to realize just how badly losing the D/s part of their relationship had damaged them both.
Fixing it meant everything, and the first step was to figure out where to go from here.
“I don’t think I’m cut out to be a Little,” she was saying.
“I like reading about it, and I guess we all have that inner child who comes out sometimes, but I don’t think it’s part of my kink identity.
Plus, I think it’s going to be a struggle just getting used to you bossing me again, without jumping straight into the deep end.
” She paused to blow on her spoonful of stew, taking longer than necessary to give him a chance to jump in.
“Keep in mind we can always try different things and drop them if they don’t fit, Ally.” He waited until she nodded, and then continued, “But I think you’re right, Littles get a lot more supervision and a lot more rules, and that might be overwhelming for you.”
“It sounds like fun—the stuffies, the coloring, being entirely taken care of all the time, but I…”
“It’s not for you. That’s perfectly fine, sweetheart. The idea is to give you what you need.” He stared into the distance for a moment, thinking. “Instead of trying to fit yourself into a specific role, why don’t you tell me what you want me to give you?”
That was easy. “I think I’d just like to not have to make any decisions for a while. I’m tired of trying to hold everything together. Can you just be my Daddy and decide things?”
His mouth tilted up at one side and he laughed. “Doesn’t really sound much different from what we had before, except Daddy instead of Sir.”
It was different. She couldn’t explain how really, but it was. She shrugged and stirred the spoon around her bowl. “Daddy feels simpler. Easier.”
That wasn’t quite right, but she struggled to explain.
In the end, she tried giving an example.
“Sir is strict and requires me to place myself on the bed naked to wait for punishment. Daddy is stern, but understands that I don’t have the control to …
to do that. So, he just drags me over and spanks me when I need it. ”
Carter considered this. “Sounds like you want less protocol and less rigid structure. Not necessarily less rules or punishment…?” He trailed off and she nodded. “And you would be less responsible for your own behavior?”
She hesitated and then nodded again. “I think that’s right. I know this is confusing. It’s kind of all jumbled up in my head, but the best thing in the Daddy stories is how he just comes right in and handles things—whether it’s a problem that needs to be solved, or a punishment.”
“Or an evil boss that needs to be handled?” One eyebrow went up.
Oh. That … had actually been Daddy behavior. She squirmed in her seat. “Kind of, but work is-it’s different.”
“Hmm.” Apparently, he didn’t agree but declined to argue.
She decided not to try to change his mind on that point. “It won’t be too much work for you? Being a Daddy? I don’t want to be a bother.”
A soft smile curved his mouth, as he shook his head. “It won’t be too much, and you will never be a bother, sweetheart.”
“It’s just that you didn’t really sign up to be my parent, and I know it—”
“Allegra Cassidy Dalton, I signed up for you, and whatever you need. Besides, a Daddy is parental, but not exactly a parent. There’s a considerable difference there, especially when it comes to bedtime.” He smirked.
She was startled out of her worrying and laughed. “Well, there is that, and to be honest I find the whole grab and spank thing kind of hot, so more of that would be … nice.”
“I agree.” He pointed toward her bowl. “Now, finish your stew before it gets cold. We still have a punishment on the agenda for tonight.”
Oh. She’d pushed that out of her head, and now, with the reminder, her stomach seemed to curdle.
There was an urge to push away the food and say she was full, but also a need to put off the punishment as long as possible.
Eating won. She finished the bowl, one slow spoonful at a time, dragging dinner out as long as she possibly could.
Carter let her. He was obviously in no rush. She was still working on her first bowl of stew when he finished a second and started cleaning up the dinner dishes. It left her feeling guilty. “Let me help,” she said as she pushed back her chair.
“Thanks, sweetheart, but I’m just going to pile them in the sink for tonight. I’ll wash them tomorrow. You and I have a date with my new strap.”
She gulped and her knees suddenly felt weak. “Oh, um, maybe… have you considered maybe that we could skip it?”
“Nope.”
“Oh, but—Ack!” Suddenly she found herself being lifted off her feet and dumped over his shoulder. Her legs kicked up in surprise, but he snagged them, trapping them in place while his other hand came down with a few hard swats. “Carter!”
“I believe the word you’re looking for is ‘Daddy’,” he said, landing another swat across her wiggling backside.
“Daddy! Put me down! I can walk,” she insisted. Her clenched fists thumped against his back in demand, as he carried her out of the kitchen.
He retaliated with more spanks, a whole bunch of them. “I thought being grabbed and spanked was hot?” His tone was mild and amused.