Chapter 4
Chapter Four
Marci
Despite the betrayal of my well-meaning friends, I actually end up having a good time. I love the town I grew up in, despite all its faults, and showing it off to two very gorgeous companions is no hardship.
We started with Dutch burgers at the park, got ice cream at the creamery, did a walking tour of main street where I pointed out all the newer shops and older abandoned businesses, talking about our hopes for rebuilding the area.
I showed them Sadie’s matchmaking office and her husband’s pride and joy, The Rose Center.
And then, we end up ten miles out of town at the beach.
The air is salty, and the waves lap at our toes as we stroll along barefoot.
Tripp keeps looking up at the shore then out to the tide, and Levi stops every few minutes to inspect an agate or pick up a shell.
The whole time we talk about their lives on the rodeo circuit, why they’re looking to settle down, and why I’d chosen to stay in Blue River, even when everything was falling apart.
At the end of it all, we hike up to a lookout point and sit watching the sunset.
Here I am, forty-five years old, and it’s the most romantic date I've ever had. And I’m not even sure if it’s really a date.
Somewhere during the course of the evening, my protests had shifted and now, I really, really want it to be a date.
Sitting back from the edge of the ledge at the place the local kids had dubbed make-out point, I look out at the gold-streaked sky, and when Tripp and Levi sit on either side of me, each putting an arm around my shoulders, I just let it happen. I don’t fight it.
Instead, I lay my head on Trip’s shoulder and let out a happy sigh. But as soon as I do, familiar doubts come rushing back. “Is this what you guys do in every town you visit, find an easy mark and woo her with the promise of a future, right before you move along to the next town and woman?”
“An easy mark?” Tripp actually sounds insulted. “Marci, what—”
Before he can finish, Levi shakes his head. “I swear to you, we never do this.”
“We don’t need to find a woman to seduce to have a good time.
We do have each other, ya know. And yeah, on occasion, we have hooked up with a woman in some of the towns we’ve visited.
But, they know what it is going in. We’re very up front.
And most of them don’t mind. They just want to experience a threesome with two men.
It’s a mutually beneficial arrangement.” He stops, looks at me sadly, and shakes his head.
“But even so, it’s been a while. We decided last year we were no longer satisfied just having that itch scratched, that we needed something real.
And this is the first time we’ve even considered it. Because we know we’re ready.”
“Marci, we’re ready for you. You’re the one we’ve been waiting for. I feel it in my bones.”
“You don’t even know me!” I gasp as Tripp’s hand travels up from my waist, slides along my side, cups my breast, then comes to rest on my collarbone. It moves up, cradling my throat with just the tiniest bit of pressure.
“Sometimes you just know.”
“I still think it doesn’t make any sense,” I grumble. “Have you guys seen yourselves? You could have literally any woman. And especially one your own age. You don’t have to settle.”
A growl rips from Trip’s throat and he’s on me, laying me out on the blanket as he covers my body with his.
His legs straddle my hips, pinning me to the ground.
“That’s enough of that, babygirl.” The pressure at my throat increases.
“You are the one we want. We knew it the minute we laid eyes on you and no amount of self-deprecation is going to convince us otherwise. It may end up giving you a hot bottom, though.”
My breath hitches. My brain shorts out. “A hot bottom?” I squeak. “What… what do you mean?” I’m pretty sure I know, but my brain just doesn’t want to believe it.
“It means,” Levi supplies, leaning over so that his face is in front of mine, “that if you keep talking bad about yourself, we’ll spank you.”
Not I will.
Not Tripp will.
We will.
And suddenly I can’t get the thought of being spanked by both of them out of my head. Never mind that I’ve never been spanked a day in my life, despite being raised in a generation where doing so was still acceptable.
And despite having always been a good girl, I can’t help but push.
“I’m not talking bad about myself.” I meet their gazes head on.
“I’m just stating facts.” It’s mostly true, but I know what they mean.
I see where the line is. And yet, I barrel straight over it.
“I’m a frumpy old woman, and the two of you could do so much better. And younger.”
They move so fast I don’t even have time to regret my words. One second Trip’s on top of me, and the next, he’s sitting, and I’m face down across both their laps. And I know I’ve gone too far.
That’s the last thought I have before a hand—presumably Tripp’s—cracks across my ass. Hard. Even over the top of my jeans, it stings.
What. The. Fuck?
Questions race through my mind at a mile a minute. Who the fuck do they think they are? What made them think I’d be okay with this? Do they regularly treat grown-ass women like children? What do I do now? And the real kicker: Why do I want more?
“Ow!” I gasp, and squirm to get away, but we're too close to the edge of a cliff and their strong hands are holding me in place.
They smack me again and again, their hard hands creating a steady rhythm across my ass. And when the pain reaches a crescendo and my brain has recovered from the shock, I try once more to get away.
“You will not disparage yourself anymore.” Trip’s hard voice cuts through my protests, rendering me silent and freezing me in place.
“You are a beautiful, smart, strong, gorgeous woman and any man would be lucky to call you his.” Every few words he punctuates his edict with a hard slap across the lower curve of my ass.
“Or theirs,” Levi adds. “Whether you are ours or not, you really need to knock that off. It’s not becoming, and it's bad for your mental health.” He adds a few hard swats of his own, leaving me wondering why they care so much.
Why I don’t care enough.
Tears spring to my eyes as I realize what they are saying is true.
I have been hurting myself. Bullying myself.
One thought at a time. Too old. Too frumpy.
Too big. Not pretty enough. Every day for years I’ve been chipping away at my own self-worth.
Disgusted, I swipe away my tears. They are spanking me like a child and I’m crying like one.
I feel ridiculous, but there’s something else. I feel… relieved.
Like I’ve been waiting for years for someone to call me out on my bullshit.
My friends do occasionally, I guess, but for some reason, it doesn’t quite hit the same when they say it.
I always thought they were just being nice.
Just because they don’t want me to say those things doesn't mean they aren’t true.
But now, ass up across the laps of two much younger, extremely gorgeous men, getting spanked like a naughty child…
it sinks in. I do need to stop being so mean to myself.
I have a lot of value. I’m funny, smart, generous, kind, and even kind of pretty.
Laughter bubbles up in my chest, escaping my lips in a huff.
“Okay!” I cry when a hand smacks the lower part of my ass. “You’re right. I’m sorry!”
“Sorry isn’t good enough,” Tripp answers, his serious-sounding voice sending chills down my spine. “Tell me the truth.”
The truth? For a moment, my brain stutters.
I haven’t been lying. What is he asking for?
And then it hits me. The realizations I’ve come to are the truth, and the things I’ve been saying about myself for years are the lies.
I spoke the lies out loud for so long, giving them power.
Now I need to do the same with the truth.
I open my mouth to do so, and stop short.
It’s much harder to say I’m pretty than it is to say I’m fat.
It’s much easier to say I’m old then it is to say I’m funny and smart and hardworking and kind.
But I force the words past my lips, trying them out.
“I’m… kind of pretty,” I say adding the modifier in order to not sound vain.
“Kind of?” Levi scoffs, slapping my ass hard. “Woman, you’re gorgeous. Beautiful. Stunning Even. It’s okay to admit it. Say it like you mean it.”
“Um…okay.”
“We’re waiting.” Tripp rains down a volley of smacks across the tops of my thighs to accentuate his point. It stings like a bitch and fresh tears spring to my eyes.
“I’m… pretty.” I drop the modifier but don’t go quite as far as Levi did.
“It’s a start,” Tripp concedes, pausing his onslaught and rubbing my hot aching flesh with his calloused hand.
“That means keep going.” Levi isn’t as pleased and he renews spanking. His hand isn’t as hard as Tripp’s but it hurts all the same and I know my ass must be glowing bright red and covered in handprints.
“I’m…” Dammit. Why is this so hard?
“I’m… smart.” I finally say. It’s not something I’ve ever contested and the words slide out easily.
Levi keeps spanking.
“I’m funny!” I cry, desperate for him to stop. “And kind! And I work hard. And um… I’m a good friend.”
“All true,” Tripp says and I stop myself from retorting that he just met me, and he hasn’t been here long enough to know that.
“What else?”
I frown, and though he can’t see my face, he offers me a lifeline anyway. “You say you’re an old woman.”
“Well, I’m not young…” He wants me to tell the truth and that’s the truth.
“You’re not, but the way you say old woman bugs me.
Like you think your age lessens you.” He smacks my ass again, but softly, almost like he doesn’t mean it.
“It doesn’t,” he continues. “And you’re not old.
You still have a lot of life left, a lot to give, a lot to experience.
Yet, it seems like you’ve just… given up. ”
“Okay, that’s not fair!” I cry, rearing up a little to look over my shoulder at him. “You don’t know what it’s like to be in your forties. Everything stops working, everything slows down and life just gets… harder.”
“Maybe so,” he concedes. “But old is not a death sentence. Old is experience, wisdom, and a new chapter to embrace. Old is realizing life moves quickly and you should go after what you want with no time to waste.”
He might be smarter than me, despite the fact that I must have at least a decade on him.
He’s right. Again. I have the life experience people in their twenties and thirties don’t, and though I feel old and useless sometimes, I’m not.
I’m very much alive and have the wisdom and experience to know what I want and what I don't.
And I want them. Tonight. Now. If I really am beautiful, and smart and funny and kind, and the whole package as they say, that should be easy enough, despite their claims that tonight is just about getting to know each other and the town.
That becomes my new mission.