Chapter 11
Chapter Eleven
Levi
“Go,” Marci whispers, dropping my hand. Her voice is thick with pain, and her face is impossibly white. I know I need to go, to rush to Tripp’s side, to ride in the ambulance with him, and to be at his side in the hospital.
But I know even before I ask that Marci’s not going to come with me. I stare at her for a moment, paralyzed at the thought of losing her, of losing them both.
But I’ve known her for a day, and Tripp for what feels like my whole life. He needs me. There’s no real choice to make.
So I smile weakly, give one last kiss on her soft cheek, and race down the stands, reaching the ambulance just as they are loading him in. “Wait!” I cry. “That’s my… he’s my partner.”
Normally, I’d use the word partner and hope they took it in a rodeo sense, rather than a significant other sense.
Both things are true, and most small towns weren’t very open-minded.
But as the paramedics stare at me, I remember where I am.
This is Blue River. As I had put it yesterday, a town full of gay men, or bi men, more accurately.
A town centered on unorthodox relationships.
I clear my throat and start again. “He’s my rodeo partner,” I explain. “And my life partner.”
The paramedic, a lanky man with dark curly hair that’s on the longish side, smiled. “Well, why didn’t you say so? Hurry and hop up in here. They’re expecting us at the hospital.”
I nod, tears pricking the corners of my eyes, and hop into the back of the truck, taking a seat on the bench that ran along the side wall, across from Tripp. There’s an oxygen mask covering his face, and his eyes are dark with pain. I’ve never seen him look so small.
“What’s… What…” I falter. I’m not sure what to ask, and I don’t want to voice the terrible thoughts running through my head. I squeeze my eyes shut and swallow hard.
“Hey.” The medic’s voice is soft. Strong. Calming. “That was a rough fall. It’s okay to be scared. But I’ve seen worse. This is going to be okay. I really believe that. He’s going to hurt, and he’s going to need you to be strong for him. You’ve got this.”
The surety of his voice eases the turbulence of the emotions roiling through me and I force my watery eyes open. They’re clouded with tears and before I can clear them, there’s an awkward pat on my knee. I look down and see Tripp. He’s the one who’s hurting and yet he’s trying to comfort me.
Typical Tripp. I grab his hand and hold it tightly. Tripp has always been the stronger one in our relationship. And it’s always worked for us. But it’s not right now. It’s my turn.
I won’t let him down.
And before I can stop it, a glimmer of hope rolls through my brain.
Maybe I can not let Marci down either.
Tripp
My arm feels like it’s on fucking fire. My whole left side is screaming at me. My head is pounding and though I desperately want to open my eyes and join the living, I can’t quite seem to manage it. The lights are too bright.
But I can sense Levi’s waiting presence, and I want him to know I’m here, I’m okay. Everything is going to be fine.
Even as I have the thought, truths roll through my brain like daggers, poking holes in my positivity.
I didn’t win.
That means we can’t stay in Blue River.
That means we have to leave Marci behind.
I’ve failed Levi, failed myself, failed her.
Fuck. I push through the pain, and my eyes open. Everything is blurry at first and I blink furiously, waiting for the room to come into focus.
Before it does, I hear Levi’s gasp, his boots clacking on the floor as he jumps to his feet.
“Tripp.” One of his hands takes one of mine, and the other roams across my body as if he’s reassuring himself that I’m really here, really awake, really in one piece.
Then the breath leaves him in a whoosh of relief. “Thank god. You’re okay. You’re awake.” His face comes into focus just as it muddles with concern. His brows furrow and his mouth turns down in a frown.
“The doctors say you might have to stay a few nights. They did surgery on your arm. You have a severely displaced proximal humerus fracture.”
I moan, trying to make sense of the words, but even if I knew what they meant, my brain feels too fuzzy to grasp onto anything solid. “English, please,” I groan.
“A break near the top of the upper-arm bone, right at the shoulder.”
“That tracks,” I say, noticing the tight sling. “My shoulder feels like someone’s holding a branding iron to it.”
“I can call a nurse. Get her to check your pain meds.”
“Not yet,” I grunt. I want a few more minutes alone with him. “Concussion?” I ask, only because of the way my head feels like it's being squeezed in a vice.
“Only a mild one, thankfully.” He lets out a haggard sigh. “You got lucky, Tripp. It could have been so much worse.”
I know that’s true, I do, but this still feels like the worst possible outcome. Everything I want feels like it’s slipping through my fingers. “Not lucky.” I manage. “Didn’t win.”
The pain seems to accelerate as if admitting that actually hurt and I shift as if I can roll away the searing feeling ratcheting through my left side. “Marci?” I croak.
Levi looks like he doesn’t want to answer. “I haven’t seen her since it happened. I was hoping she’d show up here, but it's been hours.”
Disappointment stabs my chest, then I remember it’s for the best and say as much, adding, “When can I go home?”
The anger in his voice shocks me when he answers. “Tripp. I think we should plan on staying put here while you recover. You can’t drive, you’re going to be incapacitated, and you’ll need lots of physical therapy.”
There’s more to it than that. I can see it in his eyes. He wants to stay. But I don’t. Not anymore. Blue River represents my personal failure and dashed dreams.
“You can drive,” I grunt. And while it’s technically true, he never does. That’s always me. “We can make it home. There’s doctors everywhere, and the hospital is bigger anyway.”
He shakes his head. “You’re not going to be up to a trip like that anytime soon.”
“We’ll make it work,” I grunt, closing my eyes. I pat the sheets, searching for the call button. Levi finds it first, and hits it before I can.
The nurse comes a minute later, and Levi speaks to her in low tones about my injuries, my care plan, my pain level. She walks over to the bed and watches the machines, then hangs a new bag on my IV. I can hear the whispers and movement but I don’t open my eyes.
After a few minutes and some more low whispers she leaves.
“No.” Levi’s voice rings out loud, clear and determined.
Surprise has my eyes popping open. I stare up at him in confusion, my brows furrowing as I try to figure out what he’s even saying no to.
“No?” I repeat dumbly.
“No.” His voice carries through the small room, even stronger now. “No, I’m not going to let you be a dumbass because your stubborn pride is in the way.”
I’m stunned. He never speaks to me that way. It’s not a hard and fast rule, we don’t have many of those, but there’s always been an understanding, and he never ever has.
My inner Daddy screams and I growl. “Boy.”
He interrupts me before I can get out another word. “No, I’m not going to let you railroad me into doing what I know isn’t best for you. No, I’m not going to let your stupid little bets and games keep me from what I want, from what I know is best for us. No.”
Am I stunned into submission or just too tired to put up a fight?
Neither, I realize as emotion rolls through me in waves. I’m so damn relieved. He’s doing what I can’t. And I love him for it, even more than I already did.
“Okay,” I hum, too tired to keep up the charade of fighting him.
It’s his turn to be surprised, but he recovers quickly with a decisive nod.
“We’re staying in Blue River. Indefinitely.
And when you’re out of here, as soon as you’re out of here, we’re going to get Marci and we’re going to make her ours.
Because I love her, Tripp, and she loves us. I know she does.”
“She’s not here,” I mumble. Not because I don’t believe him, but because I’m hurt and I don’t want to get my hopes up.
“You were kind of a dick,” he reminds me.
“And you got hurt. You scared her. She was white as a sheet when you fell. She could barely stand. You don’t have that kind of reaction about someone you don’t care about.
” He pauses, then sighs. “I don’t think she realized you were a bull rider.
She seemed off once she did. I’m guessing she wasn’t thrilled by the risk factor.
And then, you got hurt and her worst fears came true.
She probably thinks she’s not cut out for this life. ”
“Well, we are,” I grumble even as a fresh pain slices down my arm, knocking me speechless. The meds can’t start working fast enough.
Levi’s face goes blank. His lips purse like he’s thinking hard. My stomach drops like I can read his mind.
“We don’t have to be,” he says.
Everything I think I know about myself is called into question with that one statement. Because while I get where he’s coming from, I don’t know anything else. I’ve been doing rodeo since I was a kid. Who am I if I’m not riding?
“There’s jobs here,” Levi continues. And our trailer is paid for. There’s plenty of RV lots and campgrounds we can stay at for not much money. We can sublet out our apartment.”
It’s a lot to think about. Too much. And yet, the way Levi is looking at me, I feel like I might lose him if I don’t agree.
He steps forward. “You scared me. I thought I lost you. I could have. And I don’t ever want to experience that again, Tripp. And I want Marci. Enough to pull rank on this. So let me tell you what’s going to happen.”
My breath hitches with the gravity of the moment. I love him so much for taking control, for saving me from myself. My chest swells with pride. For our entire lives and careers, he’s let me take the lead. I didn’t even know he had it in him.
“Continue,” I whisper thickly. The bright lights are killing me and I want so much to watch while he lays it out, but I can’t. “I’m gonna shut my eyes. But I’m here. I’m listening.”
He nods acknowledgment and I squeeze my eyes closed, blocking the harsh lights of the room. At least the pain meds are starting to kick in.
“We’re going to stay in Blue River,” Levi starts. “For at least a year. I’m going to find a job, and you’re going to work on recovering. You’ll do whatever the doctors say, no arguments. No balking, no thinking you know better. No more silly superstitious bets with yourself.”
“Okay.” My voice is stronger than it’s been since my eyes opened. I know he’s right.
“It doesn’t matter that you didn’t win,” he continues as if he still needs to convince me. I let him talk because he obviously has things he needs to say. “We don’t have to earn the right to take control of our life, to play it out the way we think will make us happy.”
He’s right, I know he is.
There’s just one thing I can’t figure out. “Marci?” I rasp.
“We give her space for a few days. When you’re released, we go balls to the wall to make that woman ours. Grand gesture, all the stops. We promise forever, and we mean it. You got me?”
“Got you.” My voice comes out weak. I’m tired again, and my eyes feel heavy. If they weren’t already closed, I wouldn’t be able to keep them open.
Levi breathes a sigh of relief, and then I hear his footsteps as he approaches. A moment later, I feel his lips on my forehead. “Rest,” he says. “Heal. All the other stuff can wait.”