Halley
Scar had set me and the baby up in Anarchy’s old place.
A whole house to myself was more than I could’ve asked for but without Cowboy, I was instantly lonely.
The baby would do something fucking adorable and there was no one to share it with.
Plus, the little guy was up and down all night which meant I’d been, too.
Groggy, I had to make coffee, some breakfast and feed the baby all by myself.
Then after the baby ate again, I needed to find a snack.
Cowboy had spoiled me.
To beat all, Anarchy came to get her personal belongings.
I tried to steer clear of her like I’d been warned.
She was nothing like me, and I started to wonder if I was too girlish for Cowboy.
Covered in tattoos, Anarchy wore a ton of makeup and her bright red hair was tightly curled like a doll’s hair.
My hair dark and wavy, had gotten incredibly long down in the basement, where I could sit on it.
Where she was tall, I was short. Where she was tone and fit, I was thin and soft.
I’d not gotten much exercise in the basement, either.
Her boobs were perky where mine were too big and round for me to handle.
And her butt, it looked as firm and tight as two cantaloupe halves.
Wearing a tank top with hot pants, she was all legs. Her spiked heels clinked all over the house. I looked down to my bare feet.
Scar had two big men making sure she didn’t harm me, but they couldn’t stop her words. Out of all the crazy shit she said, while she was packing, what hurt me the most was her parting words. “You might take my house, but you’ll never take Cowboy. He can’t resist this pussy.”
With all I’ve been through, you’d think sex would be the last thing on my mind, but the fact that Cowboy hadn’t even moved to kiss me in all the time we spent together, let alone try to make love to me hurt like a motherfucker.
After Anarchy left, all I could think was that he’d ended up with her last night.
Why else would she have said that, like that?
Two more whole days passed before Cowboy came back. I’d been crying on and off the whole time. I dried my eyes now. We sat down on Anarchy’s couch. All I could think was that they probably fucked all over this place. He couldn’t resist her pussy.
“You been with Anarchy? My brother said you’d fall back in her bed.”
“No,” he sounded offended. “I’ve not been anywhere near her bed.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah.” He barked back, “Is it true that you and Snakebite were in love? It’s really his baby?” I realized Cowboy had been drinking. He wasn’t drunk, but he’d had a few.
“No.”
“Then why would he storm down here and tell everyone that?”
“Is that what they all think? Is that what you think?”
“I saw him. He was rescuing you. He’d packed a bag for you and the baby. Sounds like love to me.”
“You don’t understand. No one wants to hear it, hear how bad it was.
It about killed my own brother to listen.
Everyone looks at me like I’m crazy.” I’d tried to get out of the house and go for a walk, even with the two goons following me.
Everyone wanted to visit me and the baby like this was the fucking zoo.
Everyone knew all about me. Poor Halley who the devils took.
They’d introduced themselves, but I couldn’t remember all their stupid names.
“Sometimes, I think I am crazy,” I cried out.
Cowboy grabbed and held my hands. “You know I’ll always listen, right?”
I couldn’t speak. I just cried.
“Halley, I’m going to listen.”
Drying my tears, again, I looked over my shoulder. The baby was sleeping. Sometimes I’d forget how long it’d been since he ate. I hadn’t slept through the night since Cowboy had been gone.
“Halley, talk to me.”
“Will you? Can you listen without pitying me? Without apologizing for pain, you didn’t inflict.”
“I don’t pity you. I just care. I’ve known about you, about your pain for so long.”
“Do you know how hard it is to know that all these people here knew where I was but was too chicken shit to do anything about it?”
“Halley, we knew your captors would sooner kill you than give you up.”
“There are plenty of times I would’ve welcomed death over what I had. Well, that’s a lie, too. There was a long time that I didn’t know I wasn’t exactly where I was supposed to be. I loved being part of the Sons of Satan MC.”
“Don’t say that.”
I cut him off. “You said you’d listen.”
He quieted up.
“It’s only when you all got too close… when my life changed.”
Cowboy nodded, and I assumed that meant he was paying attention.
“I was too young to know any better. I hear I was five. They’d told me my parents had been killed, and they, the Sons of Satan MC rescued me from the same fate.
It all made sense. I was Star, not Halley.
Who’s she? Star, that was me. Just like a typical biker brat until Scar tracked me down.
First it was Diablo then LuAnn, Serpentines old lady who raised me as her own.
See, she couldn’t have kids, so she really loved us kids, me and my stepbrother. I had a stepbrother… Snakebite.”
Then I told the truth. “I think I was in love with him, back then. I was young, fifteen.”
“He loved you?”
I sighed, my eyes watering again. “It feels like he did, at some point. Not when it mattered.”
“What happened then?” He asked, moving beyond this sensitive part.
“I was told the horrible truth. I wasn’t who I thought I was.
Everything was stripped from me. My family wasn’t really my family.
They hadn’t rescued me but had killed my parents.
They’d stole me. My friends were no longer my friends.
Even if they didn’t know before, everyone knew then.
I wasn’t one of them anymore. I was one of you all, their enemy. ”
Cowboy seemed to be on the edge of his seat.
“Snakebite saved me from death. His dad wanted to kill me.” I thought about it briefly but didn’t mention about little Betty.
For some reason it was still too painful.
“Serpentine locked me in the basement of the bar. I thought it’d be temporary, like when LuAnn would ground me for back talk or something.
I’d stay out too late, and she’d say I was grounded for six months but after a day or two she’d forget about it.
But it wasn’t like that. At first, it was just lonely, boring.
LuAnn would come every day and make sure I was fed and well.
She’d bring me something to do, some knitting, some paper so I could draw or write.
After all, I was still young enough, fifteen.
I remember the month before I was locked away, LuAnn tried to talk me into going to a public high school.
I’d refused. LuAnn, she was sweet and all but had a learning disability herself.
She said I was wasting my sharp mind being home schooled by her.
But that wasn’t actually true because most of my classes were online.
If I hadn’t refused to go to public school, someone would’ve been looking for me—that’s all I could think.
Of what ifs. What did I do wrong that could’ve changed my fate?
What did I do to deserve to be locked up?
At the time, I couldn’t even imagine it’d get worse.
And we fought every time LuAnn came down to see me.
I wanted out. At that point, I didn’t care who I was or what had happened.
I wanted my life back, period. I’d forget Halley and be Star.
She said give it time. She said that the men in the club would come to their senses.
She wouldn’t let me rot down there. She promised.
But one day, LuAnn didn’t show up. She was sick.
That’s what Serpentine said, anyway. I hadn’t eaten all day when he showed up with some dinner.
He was drunk, and you can guess what happened. ”
Cowboy was hanging on my words, but his changed expression let me know he understood my meaning.
“I told LuAnn about it the next day. Thinking she’d save me.
Finally let me free of that cage. But when she left, she never came back.
After that, well there was a year or two that it didn’t happen that often.
Like she was still up there looking out for me.
I prayed not to god, but to LuAnn. By the time I turned seventeen, it was like I was on the menu, although a limited menu.
It’d be Serpentine or one of the officers, a guest or two.
At least once a month, I think. I’d cope by forgetting it ever happened.
When it happened again, the pain would be like new for a while until I wiped it from my memory again.
Then about a year ago, it seemed anyone who wanted to come a try it, could.
Come to find out, LuAnn had died. She’d been shot. And then I killed one man…”
I looked over to gage his reaction. Cowboy seemed impressed.
“I’d gone crazy. People go crazy. It was a total accident.
But I wish I could’ve killed them all. I escaped a few times, too, at least to the top stair.
Anyway, once his wife, LuAnn was out of the picture, Serpentine decided I’d make a good old lady.
” I shook my head. “The man had been like an uncle to me when I was little. He was never the father figure Diablo had been when he became my guardian, but I never thought he’d be the one, let alone the first one.
.. But then he claimed sole access to me, to my body.
By that time, I was already in the family way.
That didn’t matter. I’d been before, a few times, actually, and I’d lost them. ”
When I thought about it, I wondered if that was why I couldn’t name the baby? It could be.
Cowboy was unmoving, still listening.