Chapter 9
Travis
Travis’s pulse was like a drumbeat in his ears, each step home too fast, too sharp. His grip on Cole’s arm had loosened, but he didn’t let go, not until they were inside, the door slamming shut behind them as he marched Cole to the kitchen.
Then he let go, but the tension didn’t leave his body. It filled him.
He was pissed.
Except—no.
No, that wasn’t the whole truth.
Pissed was easy. Pissed was understandable. This? This was worse. This tightness in his chest made his hands clench into fists and his collar squeezed so close that he almost couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t understand this.
Because the moment he’d spotted Cole out there, too exposed, too vulnerable—Scarface standing way too close for comfort with that glint of menace in his eyes—angry heat had surged up Travis’s spine and into his brain.
But then the angry heat turned to intense throat-clogging suffocation as he realized he was worried. Not just about the mission, but about Cole himself.
And that—that unsettled him.
He’d always prided himself on control, on being the top dog. He’d built a strong, solid wall. An unshakable dam holding back reckless, dangerous, weakness.
But right now, the foundation was cracking.
And Cole with his sharp mouth, his reckless decisions, and just him. He was like a damned earthquake shaking Travis apart.
The second they were in the kitchen, he moved, walking in circles.
Pacing. Running a hand through his hair. Every muscle in his body was wound up, trying to burn off the restless energy crawling under his skin.
Then, before he could stop himself—before he could think better of it—he turned, words snapping harshly from his throat.
“What the hell were you thinking?”
Cole barely had time to blink before Travis was closing the space between them in two quick strides, his presence like a storm rolling in fast.
“You could’ve compromised the whole mission, or worse—” Travis stopped, the words catching in his mouth, the weight of them hitting harder than he wanted them to. “I warned you! I told you that confidence can turn into recklessness faster than you think!”
Cole scoffed, but his breath came fast, tinged with defensiveness. “I didn’t exactly plan on running into Scarface, Captain.”
“You shouldn’t have been out there at all,” Travis growled, voice lower, rougher. “You don’t get to make calls like that. Not when we’re this deep in the mission. That was beyond irresponsible!”
“I needed air,” Cole shot back, stepping forward, too close now, not backing down. “Jesus, I was losing my mind in here! Did you just expect that I was gonna sit around waiting for you to kill me with your brooding?”
“Yes…” Travis was stunned for a second. “No…!” He hated the effect Cole was having on him. “I mean you… we have orders…” For the first time he could remember, Travis found himself speechless.
There was a long, heavy stretch of silence before Cole spoke again, his tone measured. “Then you shouldn’t have acted like an asshole and shut me out this morning!”
“Y-you are… cocky a-and arrogant and irresponsible…” The words stuttered out uncharacteristically before Travis could get a hold of them.
They came out louder than he meant them to be, louder than he should have let them be.
“I can’t keep you safe… if you’re going to try to get yourself killed,” Travis said with such a heavy burden of responsibility.
Cole stilled.
They were standing too close now, both of them still vibrating with energy, breath coming too fast.
Travis could still feel the ghost of Cole’s body under his hand, his hot breath dancing over his palm, and the shape of his hip where his fingers had pressed in just a little too hard, too possessive.
And fuck—
The water was rising.
The dam was cracking fast. It wasn’t going to hold.
The air between them was too thick, vibrating with volatility like it was about to shatter.
Travis didn’t know when he’d reached for him—he only knew that his hands were on Cole now, gripping his arms; he squeezed him, his grip pressing hard into the lean muscle like he could force sense into him.
Cole sucked in a sharp breath, his eyes flashing, but he didn’t pull away.
“You don’t take anything seriously,” Travis growled, his voice frayed at the edges. He could barely hear for the surge of hot blood running through his veins. “What if you had gotten into trouble? What if you’d gotten hurt… or killed?”
Cole didn’t push him away.
Didn’t shove or resist.
Instead, he grabbed back—harder. His fingers curled around the solid muscle of Travis’s forearms, and Travis couldn’t tell if Cole was steadying himself or Travis.
The heat of his skin burned through the fabric, and that dark forbidden longing made itself known low in Travis’s stomach. He tried to ignore it and push it down the way he always did, but it was sharp.
It wouldn’t go away. Not this time.
He barely had time to process it. He swallowed hard.
It was a mistake to hold onto Cole. A mistake to let Cole hold onto him. Because this wasn’t control. This wasn’t logic, or reason, or restraint.
This was dangerous.
This threatened the very foundations of who he thought he was.
It pulled him in like an irresistible siren song.
Cole strengthened his grip, his breath quick and uneven, his fingers flexing against the muscle of Travis’s arms like he needed something to hold onto like he was just as caught up in this as Travis was.
“And you take everything too seriously,” he snapped back, voice breathless, uneven.
Cole’s fingers twitched against his arms. His grip should have loosened, he should have let go, but he couldn’t.
“It’s my job to keep you safe,” Travis snapped.
Cole let his face convey his seriousness. “Then don’t shut me out like that.”
Silence.
The words landed hard. In the suffocating quiet that followed, something shifted. It was cracking open between them, raw and unguarded. Travis felt the dam starting to give, huge chunks were falling to the ground and water was starting to spurt out.
Travis’s breath was ragged now, coming fast through his nose, his fingers still locked around Cole’s arms like he was afraid to let go. But that wasn’t just fear. It wasn’t just responsibility.
It was him.
It was this.
It was Cole.
Standing too close.
Chest rising and falling in quick, uneven breaths.
Eyes wide, sharp green flecked with gold, looking right at him like he really saw him.
Travis swallowed hard, realizing—too late—that his thumbs had begun tracing small, unconscious circles against Cole’s arms, savoring just being able to touch him. He could feel Cole radiating heat beneath his grip.
Travis’s gaze drifted downward like he couldn’t defy gravity any longer till it landed on the shape of Cole’s mouth.
Fuck.
Cole’s heat tingled against Travis’s skin. The energy crackled between them like a live wire just waiting to hit water cascading from the dam. He could feel Cole’s hot breath on his lips. It was arousing primal instincts that short-circuited his rational mind.
No matter how badly he wanted to look away he just couldn’t wrench his gaze from Cole’s beautiful big lips.
His self-control was slipping from his grasp. Reckless.
The pressure was unbearable now.
And fuck—
He couldn’t pretend anymore that this had anything to do with the mission.
And Travis knew it.
Cole licked his lips. A quick, thoughtless flick of his tongue, wetting the soft curve of his pink lower lip.
Travis’s soaked every bit of it up.
Shit.
“You keep looking at my lips, Captain.” Cole’s voice was low. A powerful whisper that Travis couldn’t resist.
His brain was telling him to walk. To shove Cole away and break the moment and kill the spark. But he couldn’t.
His breath caught in his throat. His forehead dropped against Cole’s, the heat between them was searing. He stayed there for such a long moment, his eyes closing as he cherished Cole’s hot breath.
“I’m scared of what this might mean, Cole…”
Cole gulped, but he didn’t pull back. Didn’t let go.
“You’re not the only one.”
“What are you scared of?” Travis’s voice came out now as barely a whisper.
“Getting my heart broken by some dumbass straight jock,” Cole whispered back.
“I’m scared of what this might mean about me, Cole…” Travis confessed as if Cole might have the answers.
Travis barely recognized his own voice—so raw, so exposed. The words scraped out of him, dragged up from somewhere he’d kept locked and buried for years. His forehead pressed against Cole’s, their breaths mixing in the sliver of space between them.
Cole stopped breathing. For a second, the world stopped.
But he didn’t pull away. Didn’t let go.
His hands stayed curled into Travis’s shirt, fingers twitching like he was caught between pushing him away and never letting go.
“I’m scared of getting hurt too, Captain,” Cole finally said, voice barely a whisper.
A sharp pang of relief cracked through Travis’s chest, so strong it nearly knocked him off balance. But with it came a terrifying realization.
Because if Cole was scared too, then this wasn’t just some fleeting impulse. This wasn’t just heat, or adrenaline, or fuck-he’s-handsome frustration. This wasn’t just in his head.
He’d spent years building walls, keeping himself caged in, keeping people at a safe distance because he thought it was the only way to survive.
And now—standing here, Cole’s hands fisted in his shirt, his breath uneven against Travis’s lips—he realized those same walls weren’t just keeping people out.
They were keeping him trapped.
Travis inhaled sharply like he could find some kind of anchor in the thick air between them, but there was nothing.
Just Cole. His sharp green eyes, brimming with vulnerability.
His lips were pink and full and just barely parted.
The tension strung tight between them, stretched so thin that a single breath could snap it.
A tremor ran through Cole’s hands, a barely-there quake against Travis’s chest. His fingers flexed like he wanted to pull Travis closer, but for some reason, he wouldn’t.
This scared Travis more than going into combat.
He moved his hands tentatively, sliding up slowly, testing for resistance. When none came, he pushed up higher, catching in Cole’s hair, fingers twisting in soft strands. Cole made a breathless sound like he was relieved.
Travis’s mind screamed at him to stop, but his body—his heart—was already free-falling. What if this was a mistake? What if he ruined everything? The voice at the back of his head whispered.
And then—
Cole’s breath hitched, his fingers flexing against Travis’s arms, not pushing—pulling. His lips parted just slightly, a silent invitation, and in that moment, the fear lost its grip.
Relief crashed through Travis so hard it left him dizzy, unraveling all of his self-doubt.
He’s not pushing me away.
The realization sent a shudder down his spine, a warmth unfurling in his gut, loosening the fear that had held him captive for so long.
He let himself really feel this desire. The soft, intoxicating drag of Cole’s lips against his, the way they fit so perfectly like they’d been meant for this all along.
Cole kissed him back, slow at first, cautious, but then his mouth opened just a little more, the barest brush of his tongue meeting Travis’s—a deliberate choice, a silent yes.
That was it. Travis tilted in deeper as the last of his restraint shattered and the walls came tumbling down.
Cole’s lips were hot but impossibly soft, parting against his like they’d been waiting for this.
A low, helpless groan ripped from Travis’s throat as Cole’s hands finally stopped shaking and pulled him in hard.
Pulled him in like Travis belonged there.
Like they’d both been waiting for this.
The pressure was unbearable now. The dam was washed away.
And God help him—Travis let the water sweep him away with it.
Travis didn’t know if he’d pulled Cole closer or if Cole had stepped into him, but suddenly there was no space at all, just hands and heat and a kiss that was burning through every wall Travis had ever built.
The taste of Cole was intoxicating. Warm, electric, and impossible to name exactly. His lips moved with a perfect, aching rhythm, soft but insistent, sending sparks racing down Travis’s spine.
Cole’s touch was dizzying, grounding and unraveling Travis all at once.
His fingers curled through Cole’s hair, anchoring himself as the kiss deepened, slow and searching, then urgent and unrelenting.
He drove his tongue into Cole like he meant to claim him for his own.
His instinctive need to dominate and protect peaked and every point of contact burned, every brush of Cole’s tongue against his own sent another sharp gust of want surging through him.
And Travis let himself sink, let himself get carried away in the flood—because nothing had ever felt more real than this.