Chapter 18 #2
‘So, you’re . . . happy?’ I ask before I can think about how loaded the question is.
She has plenty of reasons to be unhappy about the current state of things.
There’s the unwanted media attention, her father’s disappointment, the cruel things people are willing to say about her.
And there’s . . . well, me. I’m not exactly the biggest plus in this situation.
I’m the root of all her problems, starting two years ago and coming back around.
Her eyes lift to me again, soft and sincere. ‘Of course I’m happy.’
My stomach swoops and the effort it takes to keep from leaning in to taste that smile on her lips is monumental. It’s still a strong thought even when her eyes go wide, a hand flying to her cheek.
‘Sorry, I’m being a terrible host!’ She sets Soup aside and stands, struggling a little with her new center of gravity, but she’s up before I can reach over to help. ‘Let me show you your room, then we’ll have dinner.’
We agreed it would be easiest if I stayed here with her instead of risking our privacy in a hotel, and with it just being two nights before we’re off to Spain, it only made sense that I sleep in her guest bedroom.
‘You can’t laugh, okay?’ Ava says nervously as she leads me down the hall, pausing in front of a closed door. ‘But this is both the guest room and the nursery. It’s only a two-bedroom house, so I just thought—’
‘That’s completely fine,’ I cut in before she can spiral, though with the way she’s wringing her hands, she’s already started. ‘Can I see?’
She blows out a breath and reaches for the door. ‘I organized the best I could, but it’s still a bit of a mess, I’m sor—’ She stops herself, eyes cutting to me before she can finish the apology. ‘Just be careful if you get up in the middle of the night.’
‘I will be,’ I promise as I step into the room and take it all in.
The walls are painted a soft sunshine yellow, and the paint can sitting in the corner tells me this was a recent change.
Inspiration photos for what I assume will one day be a mural are taped to the wall above the crib, mostly Beatrix Potter characters and forest scenery.
If I had more time here, I’d offer to paint it for her, but it puts the idea in my head to start sketching something for the future nursery in the Monaco apartment.
I’ll hire out for here and London, but I’ll make sure Ava gets her vision brought to life.
There’s a double bed on the other side of the room with a floral duvet and so many throw pillows that I’ll have to go on an excavation mission just to reach the mattress.
She wasn’t joking about needing to be careful in the dark, considering there are boxes of nappies, wipes, baby clothes, and other terrifying-looking postpartum machinery stacked wherever there’s space.
‘Is it okay?’ she asks. ‘I’m sure there are plenty of hotel rooms available if you’d rather—’
‘It’s perfect,’ I interrupt. Then, without overthinking it, I grab her hand and squeeze. ‘Thanks for letting me be your houseguest, princess.’
The action soothes her, her shoulders relaxing and her smile returning, sly this time. ‘We’ll see if you’re still thanking me in the morning. Timmy likes to cuddle.’
——
As it turns out, Timmy and Robert are cuddlers. Soup, however, is a budding voyeur.
‘I think he watched me all night,’ I complain to Ava as we walk down the hall of the medical building, heading to her ob-gyn’s office. ‘Every time I woke up, there he was in a new place, staring at me. I was afraid he’d end up on my chest like some sort of sleep paralysis demon.’
Ava’s laughing so hard that there are tears in her eyes. ‘Usually it’s me he’s staring at, but I guess you’re more interesting,’ she says when she recovers. ‘I should have warned you about his tendencies.’
‘It’s fine, just going to take some getting used to,’ I admit. ‘But hopefully he’ll like staring out all the windows in the Monaco flat better than watching me sleep. They’re coming with you, right?’
I can only assume the cats will be moving in when Ava does, because they’re clearly her children too. When she kissed each of them on the top of their head before shooing me out the door this morning, I made a mental note to ask Sami to organize getting them to Monaco.
Ava nods, a little sheepish. ‘I adopted them when I moved back to the US and didn’t think I would be traveling so much. My neighbor and his husband take care of them when I’m gone, but I don’t want to be away from them more than I have to.’
‘Of course. I’m sure you miss being watched all night.’
She laughs again, slowing as we reach the door to the office and turning to me. ‘Thank you for letting us all move in with you. And thank you for being here today. I know everything’s been chaos, but it’s nice being able to share all of this with you.’
Again, it’s something she doesn’t need to thank me for, because it’s all I want to do. Being there for her and for our baby – and for the cats too, I guess – brings me the kind of peace and purpose I’ve been searching for.
‘Thank you for letting me be a part of it.’ I put a hand on the small of her back and the other on the door handle. ‘You ready?’
‘Ready.’
I hold open the door, letting her enter first and lead us to the reception desk.
I don’t expect to be recognized here, and considering she has one of the first appointments of the day, the waiting room is mostly empty.
Still, I keep my gaze low as Ava checks in.
We’ve barely had a chance to sit down before she’s called back.
‘I meant to ask you,’ she says quietly as we follow a nurse with a swinging blonde ponytail through a set of double doors. ‘Do you want to know the sex of the baby?’
‘Only if you do,’ I answer, and while it’s not the whole truth – because yeah, I wouldn’t mind knowing – what she wants is and will always be more important.
‘Come on,’ she wheedles. ‘You do get a say in this, you know.’
‘I know. And on this one, I’m deferring to the person who’s doing the heavy lifting in this situation. I’ll be happy no matter what you decide.’
She blows out a breath, and it’s the first time I sense any nervousness from her about today’s appointment. ‘It doesn’t actually matter since all I care about is that we have a healthy baby, but . . . I really want to know. Plus, it’ll make it a little easier to pick a name.’
‘Then, it’s settled.’
After taking Ava’s blood pressure and temperature – thankfully both normal – in a small triage area, we follow the nurse farther down the hall to the imaging room, where an ultrasound tech greets us with a broad smile.
I’m directed to a stool in the corner next to the exam table Ava’s instructed to lie down on, and I glance away to give her a little privacy when she pops the button of her jeans so the tech can prep her.
I don’t look back until the tech announces, ‘I’m going to take some measurements and pictures for the doctor to review, then I’ll show you both what’s going on in there.’
My eyes land on Ava’s belly, rounded and glistening with conductive gel, and it hits me how much bigger her bump has gotten in the past week while we were apart.
She’s already halfway through this pregnancy, and there’s an ache that comes with having missed so much of it, though it’s soothed by the idea of getting to meet our baby soon.
I don’t want to miss any more of this, but pushing for an eighth title means I’ll have to.
There’s training and events and meetings galore, and there will still be a few more grands prix once the baby arrives.
Keeping my focus on that and not on Ava, or finding a way to split my attention, might actually kill me.
‘You okay?’
My eyes lift to Ava’s at her whispered question, as if she doesn’t want to distract the very focused tech from the work she’s doing. ‘Shouldn’t I be asking you that?’ I whisper back. ‘You’re the one on the table.’