Chapter 17
Chapter Seventeen
Alex was mindless at this point. Nothing but need and desperation.
“You want me to fuck you hard?” Deacon repeated, hand still between her thighs, teasing her, making her quiver and shake.
She was sensitive from making herself come and on the verge of coming again just from his gentle touch, the sound of his voice.
His rough commands and descriptions of what he wanted to do to her.
“Yes. I want it.” She ignored the begging note to her voice, or how much letting him take control over her in this way turned her on. How much she needed it from him. With Deacon, she could just let go.
He started undoing the buttons on his shirt, and she realized he must have come to her straight from the airport.
He’d taken off the jacket but was still wearing trousers instead of jeans. For some reason the thought of him rushing straight to her, coming to her first, made her belly flutter. He balled up his shirt and threw it on the car with her tank top, then dropped his hands to the front of his pants.
Yes, please. Her inner muscles fluttered in anticipation as he undid his belt and shoved down his pants and boxers, freeing that beautiful, long cock.
He didn’t take his eyes off her as he moved between her trembling thighs.
One of his hands landed on her waist, the other moving up to cup the side of her throat, his fingers lingering over her hammering pulse.
He sucked in an unsteady breath. “You are so beautiful, Alex.” His hand moved down between her breasts, over her belly. “You don’t have any idea, do you?”
His voice was deep, rough, had a note of something she was afraid to believe in, afraid to hope for. Just afraid, full stop. The intensity in his gaze made it hard to hold his stare.
What the hell is he doing?
It was too much, not enough. She needed him to stop looking at her like that. She needed to bring this back to the reason she was lying naked on the hood of his father’s
Pontiac. Bringing her hands to her breasts, she teased her nipples. “Don’t make me beg for it, Deke. Come on. Give it to me.” The muscles in her thighs shook, her body way past want to flat-out need at this point.
His nostrils flared. “Oh, I’m going to give it to you,” he rasped.
But instead of slamming inside her, taking her hard like he’d promised, he positioned himself and slid deep inside her, nice and slow. When he was fully seated, he leaned over her and kissed her. The kiss was deep, tender, and had the ability to break her into a thousand pieces.
No. No. No.
Not this, anything but this. She reached down and gripped his ass, grinding against his hips. He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, sucking in deep steadying breaths.
Dammit, she wanted him to lose control. To take her like he had in the bar, over her kitchen table. Taking her hands, he gripped them in one of his and lifted them over her head, holding her completely immobile.
He stared down at her. “Not this time, sweetheart. This time we’re going to take it slow.”
She started to shake her head in denial, panic knotting her lower belly, but then he withdrew, and she moaned at the feel of all that hard, hot flesh moving inside her.
He was relentless, his big body shaking with the effort, but the stubborn bastard took his time, kissing her in a way that made her heart hurt, made her wish for things that could never be.
Didn’t he realize what he was doing to her? What this was doing to her?
“Fuck, I missed this,” he rasped against her lips.
Jesus. She couldn’t take much more.
He grunted, soft and deep, and kept on making the unconscious, unrestrained sound every time he pushed inside her. It was the sexiest thing she’d ever heard; it lifted the hair on the back of her neck, made her toes curl.
“I missed the feel of you, so tight around my cock, the way you grasp me tighter when I pull out like you can’t bear me to leave. You need this as badly as me, don’t you, sweetheart?”
“Yes.” The word came out with her next breath, before she could swallow it down.
His gaze blazed, the muscles under her hands jumping.
His thrusts intensified, still at the same slow pace, but deeper, harder. “I love the way your lips part when I push inside, the way your breath hitches,” he rasped.
Oh, God. He was killing her.
He continued to make love to her, never taking his eyes off her, following the cues of her body to take her higher.
She shivered and closed her eyes against all that intensity staring down at her.
“Look at me,” he demanded.
Helpless to do anything but obey at this point, she lifted her lids.
“I want you to see what you do to me. How good you make me feel.” He reached down and cupped her ass, tilting her hips up, then thrust back in, grinding against her.
She sobbed, so close, so damn close. “Only you make me feel this way, Alex, this hungry, this possessive.” He repeated the slow thrust and grind and the pressure increased.
“You make me crazy, sweetheart. Wild. Only you do that to me. No one else.”
His abs tightened as he bent to suck the bar piercing her nipple, drawing it into his mouth, then thrust deep and held her there.
One more tug on her nipple, and she shattered, hard.
When he lifted up, covering her body, she hung on tight, sinking her teeth into the firm muscle of his shoulder to stop from screaming.
He started to move then, no more slow torture; now he pounded into her, arms locked around her, holding her immobile.
All she could do was take it, lie there and absorb the full power of his lust. Lost in the sound of his grunts of pleasure, the rough, tender words he rasped against her ear, drawing out her own orgasm, she clung to him in return, never wanting him to let her go.
Then with a shout he came hard inside her, big body tensing and shaking through his release.
Collapsing over her, he pressed her into the now warm, unyielding steel at her back, but she didn’t care. Nothing had ever felt so good, so right. She smoothed her hands over his wide shoulders as he glided in and out of her slow and easy, and she knew there would be no returning from this.
She was completely lost to him, always had been. And for the first time in her life, she wanted to take a risk on loving someone, despite the possibility of losing him.
She blinked hard when her eyes started to sting and swallowed against the lump in her throat when it threatened to escape in a painful sob.
Damn you, Deacon. Damn you for making me love you.
Alex miraculously found a parking spot right outside Deacon’s apartment building. Probably because the sun was barely up.
She’d gotten up early—they had another busy day ahead, and she wanted to talk to him before it was time to open the garage.
Nerves flipped around in her belly. This was a stupid idea, wasn’t it? Maybe she’d lost her mind.
She hadn’t been thinking straight, not since Deacon had carried her upstairs and tucked her in bed after making love to her.
I hate leaving you, Alex. I know I’ll see you in a few hours, but I already miss you.
He’d whispered the words against her hair, kissed her, then left. She’d hated it, too. But it was too risky for him to stay, and they both knew it. Still, when she’d watched him walk out the door, she’d had to bite her lip so she didn’t beg him to stay.
Last night she realized she wanted to be more than his fuck buddy, more than an arrangement. A man didn’t look at a woman like Deacon looked at her, didn’t make slow, sweet love to a woman like he had her, and not care about that woman, right?
Only you make me feel this way, Alex, this hungry, this possessive.
She shivered at the memory. He’d claimed her last night.
She’d felt it in every fiber of her being.
Everything had changed, everything. She had no idea what it meant going forward.
Deacon had made it clear at the beginning he didn’t want a relationship, that what they had going on had a use-by date.
Did he still feel that way after last night?
No. She couldn’t believe it. He made sure she felt wanted, desired…important.
Alex was a lot of things, but a coward wasn’t one of them.
There was too much at stake—her heart, for one.
Her friendship with his sisters and their garage for another.
If there was a chance for them, if he wanted the same thing she did, they needed to forget about their arrangement and just… be together.
Was she really going to do this? What choice did she have? She couldn’t go on like this. She’d been stupid, naive to think she could.
Blowing out a deep breath, she reached over and grabbed the coffees she’d bought on the way, climbed out of her Viper, and headed into the building. The doorman was already at his post and gave her a warm smile when he opened up for her. “Hey, Harold.”
He tipped his hat and smiled. “Morning, miss.”
Blood was pounding through her veins, and her knees felt weak and shaky as she crossed the floor.
This was a huge risk. God, what if she was wrong?
What if he didn’t feel the same way she did?
She shook her head, fought the self-doubt back.
Deke had changed over the years. No, he wasn’t the same boy she’d first fallen for.
He was a man. The type of man who went after what he wanted ruthlessly.
He didn’t let anyone get in his way. Well, she could learn a thing or two from him in that respect.
And despite it all, despite the suits, the flashy cars, and the expensive apartment, he was still her Deke.
He was still in there. He’d shown himself time and again over the last couple weeks.
That tender, caring, protective side was still in there under the hard exterior, and she had to believe he couldn’t do what they were doing and not feel something for her other than lust.