Chapter 12
Chapter Twelve
Claire
“You need to tell us everything.”
Joss puts a plate loaded with dips, crackers and chopped celery sticks on the coffee table, then plops herself down on my sofa. She leans forward, her expression expectant.
“And we mean everything,” adds Sal, shooting me a fierce glance as she fills our wine glasses from the bottle on the table.
Outside, the sky is turning to lilac and peach, the humming ocean reflecting the colours of the clouds.
Candles flicker on my kitchen island and on the long table by the windows.
It’s a perfect summer evening. A girls’ night in with my friends – something we’ve done a hundred times before.
So why do I feel so nervous?
I came back down the coast the morning after our “date,” instead of staying in Melbourne with Bryce, but only because I had to work.
I spent most of the day staring at the poster of him behind the till, unable to quite believe this is the same man I spent half the night kissing in a nightclub.
It’s not going to be tough to pretend this is real, to be honest.
My phone, sitting on the kitchen island with Joss’s and Sal’s, buzzes.
“No phones!” Sal shrieks, as I go to pick it up.
“No, it might be Bryce!” Joss smacks her on the arm. “Is it him?” She turns an expectant face to me. “Oh my god. I cannot believe you’re dating him!”
“No, Sal is right. I won’t look. Sorry.”
But they both scream at me so loudly I start laughing, then pick up my phone. A notification pops up, complete with a winking kissy-face emoji:
Can’t wait to see you tomorrow
“It’s Bryce. He says he’s looking forward to seeing me tomorrow,” I say, putting my phone back down and picking up my glass.
“Look at how casual she is with this,” Sal says to Joss. “Just some sex god surfer telling her he misses her. Nothing special or anything.”
“It’s not nothing,” I say, heat in my cheeks as I take a gulp of wine.
I sit down on the sofa, trying to sort out my tangled thoughts.
I can’t wait to see him either, which feels stupid, considering this is a fake arrangement.
But I haven’t been able to stop thinking about him since I came back from Melbourne.
I need to remind myself that we’re just helping each other out, and magnificent abs or not, it will all be over in a month.
I just hate lying to my friends, that’s all.
“What is it, then?” Joss leans forward.
“Well, I guess we’re dating?” My voice goes up, like I’m not sure. Even though it’s not technically a lie.
Joss screams. Sal shakes her head. “Yeah. I got that part from the Insta photo, you lucky bitch.” She grins, swirling her wine. “We’re going to need more than that.”
“What we really want to know,” Joss continues, “is whether you’ve popped that cherry of yours with him yet.”
My mouth drops open. “As if I wouldn’t tell you! And as if I would have done it yet! I barely know him.” Even though he’s already turned me on more than Simon ever did in a whole year of trying. I take another gulp of wine, wondering why it’s so warm in here.
“You don’t need to know him to ride him. That man is hot!” shrieks Joss. “Didn’t you just spend the night with him in Melbourne? What the hell were you doing? Playing cards?”
“No! I mean, he was… It’s just… We’re taking our time.”
“So that’s a no, then?” Sal is barely holding back laughter at this point. “Holy shit, half your luck, Claire. You really know how to trade up.”
“Ugh, don’t.”
“No, you know we love you, Claire, but it has to be said. This will hopefully get Simon off your back. You should have seen his face when Bryce was kissing you!”
“Shhh.” Joss flaps her hand at Sal. “She doesn’t want to know that.”
“Yeah, I do.” I’m intrigued, despite myself. I realise I haven’t thought about Simon since Bryce sent him that last message. It’s a relief.
“He looked like a little kid who just dropped his ice cream.” Sal is giggling. “Utterly crushed.”
Ugh. The guy is a nightmare, but I hate the idea of crushing anyone.
“Hey.” Joss grabs my hand. “Remember what that dickhead did to you – is still doing to you. You deserve this. And if this is what it takes to convince Simon it’s finally time to move on, then even better.”
“I know,” I say. “Yeah. I do know this. He needs to move on. I don’t know why he can’t.”
“Because you’re a fox, and he fumbled you badly,” Sal says. “Typical, really. Doesn’t know what he has while he has it, then can’t accept reality when you finally leave him. If Bryce can send him on his way, then that’ll be a bonus.”
“I wish it didn’t have to be another guy to send him on his way,” I mutter. “But I suppose he never listened to me when we were together, either.”
“Forget him,” Joss says. “Seriously. He’s in the rearview now. Fuck him. You’ve got a real man in your life now.”
“Yes!” Sal lifts her glass. “To real men!”
We all clink our glasses, laughing, my mood lifting again. Our conversation shifts, and we discuss our lives in general, solving the world’s problems as we always do whenever we get together.
I met Sal and Joss years ago, when I was an awkward teenager visiting the coast for the summer.
I went to a music show at the surf club by myself, hoping I might meet someone.
They spotted me standing in a corner and came over.
I’d been a bit taken aback at first, not sure whether they wanted to start something with me, but it turned out they wanted to bring me onto the dance floor with them.
We’ve been friends ever since, catching up every summer holidays or meeting in Melbourne.
After my parents’ accident they were there for me, supporting me as I moved into the beach house, giving me the space I needed to grieve, while letting me know they were there for whatever I needed.
And of course, they helped me get away from Simon.
I genuinely don’t know what I would do without them.
Sal works as a legal assistant in Geelong, about an hour’s drive away, while Joss is a junior pharmacist at the local pharmacy.
I feel bad, sometimes, about my job at Anna’s.
Feel as though I should be doing more with my life.
Retail is a tough gig, don’t get me wrong, and Anna has been very generous to me.
I love fashion, too, so it suits me. But I never went back to university; I was too broken for the first year after my parents died, and after that I was with Simon, who never seemed to see any value in me going back to my studies, despite the fact he liked to pretend he was an intellectual.
I still can’t believe I spent over a year with him, listening to his nonsense.
“What will you do when he goes back on the circuit? Will you travel with him? Maybe you can finally pursue that travel-writing dream of yours.”
I realise Sal is asking me about Bryce. Shit. “Um, I guess we haven’t thought that far ahead.”
“You should! This is a perfect opportunity, Claire-bear.” Joss looks serious for a moment. “You need to remember your dreams as well, you know?”
“Yeah. This house is lovely, but maybe it’s time to see the world. Follow your dreams.” Sal waves her arm in the air like a presenter on a game show.
“Or even just create content! Bryce goes to some amazing places. You’ll never be short of stuff to film.”
I stare at them both, my heart full at the love in their faces, their voices.
I hate that I’m lying to them. Hate it so much.
I also hate the fact that Bryce and I will be over in a month’s time, and the lovely image they’re painting of a life where I get to travel and work at what I love will never come to pass.
Unless I do it by myself, of course. Why the hell shouldn’t I, actually?
Maybe this month with Bryce will be what I need to kickstart my life in a new direction.
I should look at going back to school, too.
“Are you all right? You look stunned.” Sal tops up my wineglass.
“I think… It’s been a lot. It is a lot.”
“I get that,” Joss says, putting her hand on mine. “But you need to promise us something.”
She’s so serious I’m alarmed. “Of course! What is it?”
“Just don’t forget us, when you go.”
“I’m not going anywhere yet! And I could never forget either of you. I couldn’t do half of what I do without you both.”
“And when you finally do shag him, we need to know about it!” Sal shrieks, setting us off giggling again. “Jesus, Claire, if you’re going to hold out for anyone, you could do a lot worse for a first time.”
“You almost did!” Joss splutters into her wine.
“I cannot tell you how glad I am that I didn’t,” I say, still laughing. But there’s a deeper throbbing in me, a fluttering flock of butterflies at the thought of what it could be like, if he was my first. What those abs would look like, how they would feel. How he would feel.
Sal’s right. I could do a lot worse.
Bryce
It’s good to be out of Melbourne, heading to the coast again. The sun is low in the sky, the air warm, as I head through Torquay for the Great Ocean Road.
I have to come back here because I’m working tomorrow.
Claire and I will be having our first official couple outing, plus I need to make nice with the crew at Ocean’s Curl.
It won’t be hard to do. I genuinely love representing the brand.
Myles Brandon, who owns it, is pretty cool too, and not a bad surfer either.
He’s also passionate about the environment, making sure every aspect of the business is as ethical as it can be, investing in wind and solar power, land regeneration projects and sustainable design.
Yeah, not a bad crew at all. The least I can do is show up and make sure they know I’m not a complete fuck-up.
And having Claire with me will make it all the sweeter.