Deus
I groan as I roll onto my stomach. The stench of old meat hits me. My scales itch like crazy because I’m due a shed, but I know Darax will not release me to an aquium any time soon.
He’d prefer to let me suffer a shed without any assistance. Letting my skin hang in shreds around me like a thousand tails.
I suppose I can’t blame him for his ire. I did blame him for the death of my mate. I did sabotage his ship and steal his own mate. I did sell out the Sarkarnii to the mad female who wanted to take control of them all.
But then I’d do anything to see Dylia again. One last time. To press her to me. To inhale her scent once more.
Even give up my own brother. That’s what I thought. It’s what drove me.
I was wrong.
If I saw her again, I’d have to tell her I failed, not just her but all my female crew, all the females within the fleet. Had I not angered the Ulep, we might have never ended up in this galaxy, on this planet, where the sickness took nearly all of our females, including my mate.
How I feel, how my mind rages and then drops me into a deep, dark hole. It’s all my doing. I have no one to blame but myself.
And it’s the reason I’m locked up, dosed with paraxio to stop my shift, and in a cell where I couldn’t shift even if I wanted to. Not without becoming the first ever Sarkarnii cube.
Nev Darax. I know he’s been waiting for this opportunity ever since I got out the first time.
Brother or not, he isn’t going to let my slight against him and his mate go unpunished.
It matters not I was responsible, before my mate perished, for helping create most of what he now resides in.
He owes his current lifestyle to me, but that is not going to bother Darax in the slightest.
I roll onto my back and let the planet spin around me. I have no doubt Dante has a claw in what goes into everything I’m given to eat and drink. The only option is not consuming what I’m given, but it seems I cling to life stubbornly. Too stubborn to fade away.
In fact, living spites them more. So, I live. I take the scraps my brother gives me, and when I am conscious enough, I plan my revenge.
With some effort, I push myself up against the wall and rub my back against the rough surface to gain some relief.
I stare up at the bars above, reinforced with a glimmer of a forcefield. It doesn’t stop the drifting in of the sand from outside, nor the scents of the settlement which the Sarkarnii have built here and which once I was supposed to be a part of.
Not anymore. Instead I’m a burden to be hidden away. They don’t even want to risk sending me back to the second continent. I cannot be free to cause any more trouble, according to the other warlords.
I’m not sure when my scales decided I needed a shed, but I could sure do with it ending, or I’ll have no option but to rub myself raw.
Although it will relieve the boredom. Maybe if Darax thinks I’m suffering he’ll reduce the doses.
I might even be able to sleep without the nightmares waking me ever nova-hour.
Outside my cell, I hear noises.
“Is he awake?” one of my guards, a warrior called Dyln, asks.
Within the forcefield, a small opening appears along with a set of eyes.
“If you can call it awake,” my second guard, Diyn grumbles. “Nevver’s dosed to the eyeballs again.”
“If only we could all be Deus.” Dyln laughs. “What I wouldn’t give for a dose of paraxio.”
“Don’t let Darax hear you talking like that,” Diyn says. “But I’ve heard Dante’s warriors…”
Their voices become mumbles as they move away from the door, no doubt planning something. The pair of them have a particularly active life outside of their guarding duties. I don’t mind hearing about it. At least it’s better than my miserable existence.
Dylia would hate what I have become. Self-pitying, unable to control my emotions, my temper, or even my shift. A pathetic creature worth none of the love she gave me. I do not deserve her, even if I did want her back so very much.
I lean my head back against the wall and stare at the sky. I used to love being in my Sarkarnii form and taking to the air, but now it seems meaningless, even pointless. I doubt I could shift even if I wanted to.
“Hey, nevver.” Dyln calls through my door. “You want to eat?”
I don’t even bother grunting at him. There’s something on the breeze. Something which hits me, slowly at first and then like a spaceship is bearing down on my very soul. Something I don’t understand. Something which penetrates the haze of the drugs, of my own pit of despair.
Something…
Something…
Something…
“MINE.”