Chapter 18
Harper
I was happier than I’d ever been in my entire life.
It had been two months since I’d moved in with Bas, a month since I’d started working with Bird, and two days before, we’d put an offer on a dilapidated house on five acres that was about half a mile from my parents’ house and that Uncle Tommy told us had good bones.
I couldn’t really see the vision yet, but I had fallen in love with the crown molding and large bay window that Uncle Tommy had assured me he could restore.
Everything was falling into place.
“I probably should’ve driven the rental truck,” Bas said, glancing at the rearview mirror in my new SUV.
“Contrary to popular belief, Forrest is no longer twelve years old,” I reminded him. “He drives the wrecker all the time. I think he can handle a box truck.”
“You sure?” he said, smirking at me. “He can’t be older than thirteen.”
“I don’t know why he lets you guys give him so much shit,” I mused, leaning forward to turn on my heated seat.
“It’s when we stop givin’ people shit that they should be concerned,” Bas replied, switching lanes.
“True.”
“Did you ever find out who’s meetin’ us up there?” Bas asked, a little nervously.
We were finally going to go through his childhood home, and he’d been on edge since we’d started planning.
“Myla and Cian. Frankie and Gray. Brody. Titus.” I counted off on my fingers. “Everyone else had stuff going on this weekend.”
Bas nodded.
“And you told Arlo we’d be there,” I reminded him.
“Yeah, he wasn’t sure if he’d make it out.”
Reaching over, I set my hand on his thigh.
It was a huge fucking day.
When we’d discussed going through his mom’s house, he’d debated whether or not he should use that to reach out to his brothers and hadn’t come to a decision until the last minute.
He’d sent a letter to Mateo in prison, but he hadn’t heard back yet, and my poor man had been jumping out of his skin every time his phone rang since then.
“If he shows, he shows,” I said pragmatically. “If he doesn’t—you’ve already made the first move. Now it’s up to him.”
“I’m worried we’re not gonna get through it all today. There’s a whole life in that house.”
“Probably not,” I agreed. “That’s why we got the storage unit. Relax, baby.”
Bas nodded, but he didn’t relax a single iota.
“If it’s too much, we’ll just come back a different day,” I said, running my thumb back and forth over his jeans. “It’s not a big deal.”
“Everyone’s already headed up there,” Bas argued. “Drivin’ for two hours and wastin’ an entire Saturday.”
“They won’t mind,” I assured him. “They just want it to be okay for you.”
God, he was strung as tight as a wire. It hadn’t even been this bad when we’d gone to the meeting with the attorney.
“So, do you really think that Tommy can fix up that house in our budget?” I asked, trying to distract him.
“Yeah,” Bas replied. “Especially with the Hawthorne boys pitchin’ in after work to help me. Plus, Bishop is going to deal with the foundation and the structural damage on the east side at cost.”
“I think we should make the primary room bigger,” I said, just to rile him. “We could get rid of the bedroom next to it and turn it into a huge walk-in closet—”
“Baby, that bedroom is already huge, and you said you wanted four bedrooms total. You take out that smaller room, and we’ll have three bedrooms.”
“I mean, maybe we could add on later?”
Bas shot me a look. He knew what I was doing.
“I’m fine,” he said, setting his hand on mine. “Just ready to get this shit over with.”
“We don’t even know how many kids we want,” I said, ignoring the obvious lie. “Maybe three bedrooms is enough?”
“Two or three,” Bas replied, glancing at me.
“You want two or three?” I asked, unable to hold back a grin.
“Have two and then decide if we want another?” he asked.
“Seems logical,” I replied with mock seriousness. “But what if we have a third and decide we’re not done?”
“Three is plenty.”
“Maybe not,” I sang.
“We can cross that bridge when we get there, yeah?”
“Are you sure I can’t interest you in an argument?” I asked hopefully.
“Our arguments always end in sex,” he replied ruefully. “And I can’t fuck you for at least eight more hours. You willin’ to drag it out that long?”
“I rescind my offer,” I replied formally.
“Thought so.”
“I just thought a distraction might help.”
“I know.” He lifted my hand and kissed it. “But I think I might just need to sit with it, baby. Can’t go around it. Gotta go through it.”
“The past always comes back to bite you,” I said with a sigh.
“There’s a silver lining,” he said with a shrug. “I can show you all of the shit Bernice kept from when I was little. Pictures and report cards and all that. She kept it all in the attic, and since she left our bedrooms untouched, I think it’s safe to think she didn’t throw any of it out.”
The rest of the ride was spent mostly in silence, and I didn’t try to distract Bas anymore.
Since we’d started seeing each other, he’d had to face a lot of mistakes he’d made in his past, and I knew that the biggest one was not reaching out to his foster mom sooner.
He’d lost out on years of a relationship with her that he’d never have, and it ate at him.
Even on my grouchiest nights, he was insistent that we never miss family dinner with my parents, and though he blamed it on the fear of my mom, I thought in his way, he was trying to make sure that I didn’t have the same kind of regrets that he did.
When we pulled up in front of the little yellow house, there was a large bearded man sitting on the front steps. He rose to his feet as we parked.
“Is that Arlo?” I asked.
Bas was barely breathing, but he nodded.
“Well,” I said, unbuckling my seat belt so I could lean over and kiss him. “Go say hello.”
I stayed inside the car and watched as Bas walked toward the other man. They talked for a moment, and then Bas offered his hand.
Arlo took it, then yanked Bas into a hug, slapping his back as they held each other.
Swallowing hard, I wiped at the tears on my cheeks. Thankfully, I got my shit together before Bas gestured to the car.
Climbing out, I pasted a smile on my face as I approached them.
“Arlo, this is my old lady, Harper.”
I glanced at him and nearly rolled my eyes. He’d never called me his old lady before, though technically, that’s what I was.
I preferred goddess. Lover. Girlfriend.
“Nice to meet you, Harper,” Arlo said, reaching out to shake my hand.
“You too,” I replied.
Bas’s brother had striking hazel eyes, and his beard was a few shades lighter and redder than his hair. He was wearing a green flannel and jeans, and I got the impression that was his version of dressing up for the occasion.
“Where do you want me to park this thing?” Forrest called from the street.
“Back it in the driveway,” Bas ordered.
We watched as Forrest backed the truck expertly.
“Told you,” I said smugly, lightly smacking Bas with the back of my hand. “Bet you couldn’t have done that.”
“Yeah, okay,” he said and replied with a huff of laughter.
Over the next fifteen minutes, the rest of our group showed up, and Bas introduced each of them to his brother Arlo.
“You ready?” Bas asked Arlo as we followed them toward the house. He paused with the storm door open and the regular door closed. “Fair warning, she left our room how we left it.”
Arlo swallowed hard and nodded.
We left the brothers to it for a while, giving them some time to make peace with old ghosts. Bas had filled his best friends in on an abbreviated story of why he’d left home, so everyone knew that going back wasn’t going to be easy.
I took my time looking over the photos on the wall that I hadn’t had a chance to check out the first time we were there.
There were so many of Bas as a kid. He’d looked so different, but his smile had never changed.
It was wide and happy and so beautiful you felt it in your chest. With him in a lot of the photos were Arlo, a younger dark-haired boy that must’ve been Mateo, and an even younger girl that I knew was Josie.
With one look, I understood why Bas had been drawn to Lou.
Both of the girls had the same slight build and dark eyes, though Lou’s hair had been short since I’d met her and Josie’s hung long down her back.
Josie’s wide eyes and delicate features would’ve made her an absolute stunner if she’d been able to grow into adulthood.
One of the photos was just Bas and Josie.
By the hat Josie was wearing, I thought it must’ve been a birthday party.
Bas was standing with his arm around his sister’s shoulders, and she had hers around his waist. He was smiling directly at the camera, but she was looking at him, grinning adoringly.
I reached out and pressed my finger to the glass where her heart was.
“I got him,” I breathed.
“Baby, I need your help,” Bas said, coming to stand beside me.
“Josie?” I asked, pointing.
“That’s Jo,” he confirmed. “Could you come here a sec?”
“Sure.” I followed him to the closed bedroom door that he hadn’t touched the last time we were there.
“Can you—” He cleared his throat. “Last time I saw it, it was covered in crime scene shit. Me and Arlo…uh, can you check it out before I go in?”
“Of course,” I said, reaching up to cup his cheek. “Why don’t you go tell the others what to do, and I’ll come get you.”
“Thanks,” he replied, his shoulders sagging.
I waited until he walked away and then let myself into the room, my breath catching at the time capsule it had become.